Welcome back to me screaming

Milkshake/♀/INFJ-T/Ravenclaw/Neutral good/Brazilian/An actual cat/I love Blitzwing/

[babyanimalgifs]

A beautiful red wolf. There are fewer than 25 red wolves left in the wild 

(via)

[driflloon]

[jordyjinx]

why is this actually one of the funniest videos i’ve ever seen .

[wereralph]

this 7 second video has no business being this funny

[castadnova]

pog

[actualadvicemallard]

[bashfultenrec]

I love how Tumblr teaches us how to be perfect criminals.

[sarahdesdemona]

Also, if you’re burying a full body, make sure you bury them vertically. Satellites orbiting earth look for holes that are approx. 6ft long because that’s suspicious. Ideally though, drain your body of fluids in a tub ((mix fluids with bleach and let them soak before draining and take precautions to keep your house from smelling like death from your sink and whatnot. Draining the body also keeps decomp at bay a bit and makes it easier to portion)) and cut it to bits. It’s easier to bury a head than a whole body, and takes less time so you don’t have to tell your neighbors, “Oh, I’m night gardening!”

Also, if a dog happens across it, it’s more likely it will devour a single body part than all of your ex-husband.

Another method is to put it into a septic tank. They’re a plethora of bacteria, and the smell of waste covers the smell of decomposition very well.

You should also destroy all teeth, massacre the face and burn fingerprints/remove finger tips to keep from identifying by anything other than DNA.

…I didn’t come up with these ideas, just what I’ve gleaned from reading on the internet.

[steaku]

i used to joke about Tumblr teaching us how to get away with murder, but fuck, man

[musta--krakish-deactivated20170]

the thing is when i see this i want to go kill a man just because i have the knowledge

[grassburrqueen]

thanks tumblr

[basilcraft-deactivated20210223]

Remember when you’re at the crime scene to wipe down all surfaces and then take the victims hands and touch things with them. Pick up cups and run the hands along table tops. A room with zero fingerprints is very suspicious.

If you live near the ocean you can drain the body and cut up the cadaver into small pieces then mix it all together with fish parts and dispose of it easily by pretending to chum the water for fish and sharks. Actually do chum the water a bit before dumping in your victim to be sure there are plenty of hungry fish around. Stick around and fish for a while so anyone who happens to see you won’t get suspicious. This way you don’t have any body parts lying around waiting to be dug up and identified. Plus you might catch a marlin or something.

[sirisles-deactivated20150725]

PLUS YOU MIGHT CATCH A MARLIN

I AFDGFHGKJHKHGFDSF I AM DONE

[tephnos]

Don’t forget that the chances of being caught are greatly reduced if you murder someone who has no connection to you at all. Most murderers end up killing someone they know in some fashion, so they’re easily caught. Serial killers kill at random, hence why they can kill a lot before they screw up.

I am not a serial killer, honest.

[superwholockedhobbitt]

I am seriously concerned for all of you

[bumblewyn]

please don’t judge me for tagging this for future reference, IT’S FOR PURELY FICTIONAL PURPOSES OK

[irishily]

I need to know this for reasons.

[trashcapableofsentience]

@the-fbi-agent-in-your-phone

[the-fbi-agent-in-your-phone]

I thought that this was common knowledge.

[acreaturecalledgreed]

theres like a guarantee that if someone’s url ends in “course” or “discourse” theyre an asshole

[horse-is-a-horse-of-course]

: (

[acreaturecalledgreed]

oh my god, oh my god im so sorry im so sorry please

please have these

[horse-is-a-horse-of-course]

: )

[mosticonicposts]

certified iconic post

[urfavhatesterfs]

this is so sweet 🥺🥺🥺

[stayuglystayangry-deactivated20]

in a study of horror movie viewers, “Men were most likely to enjoy the movie when paired with a woman who was distressed by it, and least likely to enjoy if the woman was unperturbed.” (x) what the fuck men are disgusting

[queerbucky]

#by this standard i’ve ruined horror films for so many men #good.

[musashi1596]

This was from an experiment done in the ‘80s with just 36 pairs of people. Doesn’t stop the tags being full of ‘kill all men’ sentiment, though.

Besides which, the goal of horror is typically to get scared, so it makes sense to enjoy the film more if your company (regardless of gender) is reacting in the appropriate way, the same way you enjoy a comedy more if your company is laughing, and an action film if they’re excited. It’s not that deep.

[duran-duran-less-official]

A similar study was done of men who said for some reason they enjoyed a comedy film when partnered with a woman who laughed a lot, considerably more than they did if the woman was unperturbed.

That didn’t really happen, but it sure does invite the question of why the OP’s proclamation sounds like a revelation instead of just… you know, self-evident.

Love the second person in this chain, who seems to be bragging about having gone to several horror movies and been bored by them. That’s not quite the own against men you think it is.

[mackologists-r-us]

Study: ah so people are more likely to enjoy a piece of media if the person they’re with is having the same emotional response as them!

Misandrist: ah yes, clearly men are just evil and want women to suffer.

[bizarrolord-deactivated20241123]

“Humans are social animals” is a less gripping conclusion than “all males are abusive rat bastards like every man ever in every Lifetime movie ever”.

[ladyforloveandjustice]

Misandrists really truly are fun suckers

[cheshireinthemiddle]

You can use the smallest example or a study with the tiniest sample size and get literally thousands of people to admit their misandry .

[re-jet-irony]

Also the usual fact these people don’t listen to women. Last I checked, a lot of women enjoy having their partners, male or female, being protective of them and giving them comfort and attention when they are are scared, even for just silly movies.

[remadexoxo-deactivated20210104]

it's literally disgusting how people will leave lesbians out of lgbt art / discussions n it's even more disgusting how those same people will include all those stupid ass mogai identities and then turn around and be like "Uhm lesbians were mean to me once at 3.45pm on june 4th, 2011 so they don't deserve to get included :/" get a fucking life

[decaygirl-deactivated20210101]

if you aren’t a lesbian you don’t get to tell us to share a flag with gay men even though our experiences are wildly different ESPECIALLY if you have 400 other flags because demiheteroplatonic quasiromantic rights or something or if you think lesbians hold privilege over those people

[lifeofcynch]

i’m not lesbian but i find it really gross that people will completely erase the lesbian flag and instead add made-up genders and sexualities that make the LGBT+ community look bad.

[jourjean]

[zukkababey]

zukka au where aunt wu looks straight at sokka and instead of telling him that his future is full of pain and anguish caused by his own hand, she tells him that he’s going to marry the fire lord and sokka is like “EXCUSE ME?”

[zorostan]

sokka, whispering to himself: omg my ability to making royalty fall in love with me has come too far

sokka, immediately writing a letter: dear firelord ozai, I am flattered, but since you are pretty old and super evil, I-

[filialdisciple]

Sokka, while yelling insults at s1 Zuko: And tell your dad I'm not interested in having a jerk like you as a step-son!!

[aboutiroh]

I need a whole plotline of Sokka wondering who this fire lord person is going to be

Season 2

Aang: I wish that Iroh guy was the Fire Lord, he seems pretty nice

Sokka: Yeah the Fire Nation would probably be better off with him as Fire Lord, but he’s so old and more of an uncle figure, you know? Not really my type.

Aang: What

Early season 3

Sokka, waking up in cold sweat: Oh no. What if... Azula is the future Fire Lord

Late season 3

Katara: Sokka what should we do? The invasion failed, we’ve been hiding in this temple for weeks and Sozin’s comet is almost here

Sokka, mumbling to himself: I hope Zuko becomes Fire Lord he’s pretty cool

Katara: what?

Sokka: I said we need to defeat the Fire Lord soon

[whats-a-reading]

Sokka internally having a Firelord tier list during the series is something that I never knew I wanted.

[filialdisciple]

*when zuko and katara arrive right before azula's coronation during sozin's comet*

Zuko: Sorry. But you're not going to be the one marrying Sokka.

Azula: What.

[catsofinstagram]

‪From @youngestoldcatlady: “I’m sleeping, come back later. 😴” #catsofinstagram ‬

[source: https://instagr.am/p/CCGWzXeFQLq/ ]

[mephostophilis]

bro if i have to see one more person defending the idea of bi/pan lesbians im gonna start throwing things

[mephostophilis]

i swear to god

[mephostophilis]

just gets worse huh

[bihet-dragonize]

Y'all one need to understand that this is specifically started with terfs and was (unsurprisingly) picked up by the ace community. “Bi lesbians” are lesbians that are willing to date and marry trans women. If we’re gonna bring this up every 2 days we need to bring up the transmisogynistic origins of the phrase. Be annoyed as a bi woman/lesbian, but understand that this is an attack on trans women specifically.

[bogleech]

The creator of “Regular Show” (which I never really got into myself) has a new cartoon called “Close Enough” but I feel like he made a critical error putting this moment toward the beginning of the first episode because now I will never, never remember anything else that happened in that episode or possibly the rest of the show ever again

[scales-talks]

FUCK

[ankle-beez]

[ip2lb]

x

[shencomix]

[traaumaa]

why do people act like it’s a personal attack or a big joke when you say you don’t like being touched.... like i don’t wanna explain my whole fucking life story about “why” just respect what i ask and don’t touch me it’s really not that hard.