closed // home
Maybe this was for the better.
Or at least Mat had hoped as he sat on the bus stop ready to go to college. He had applied a little late, a little behind when he should have but they accepted him into their new psychology program. Unfortunately it consisted of him having to go during the summer, which meant leaving summer camp.
And it sucked, more than anything it sucked. The place he learned to call home somehow he had to leave. He could remember the sick feeling when he was younger, when Faye got pregnant and his parents kicked him out. Only this time he knew where he was going, and he knew it was for a better future.
But just, everyone. Everyone around him, he was going to miss them all. He was going to miss Alex of course, hopefully they could go long distance, he prayed they could at the sake of him being happy in their little relationship and Tristan, his new friend, his new best friend if Tristan would give him the privilege of calling him so. He was going to miss Lennox and Mikki, talking to them, the nicknames of course and Faith too. Even the people he didn't talk to much, like Zane or James he knew he was going to miss.
It was a long journey, summer camp. He wasn't entirely sure to the whole idea of it Mat remembered as he chuckled. He just needed a job, a place to stay. He didn't even like going outside with plans of staying in his cabin reading comics and making sure no one went insane.
But no, it didn't end up like that, it ended better than that. He met Rory, he met Marigold and Tristan and Lily and Morgan James and everyone else. He remembered talking to horses with Marie, then hugging her when she started crying. He remembered Rory's birthday and finding her when everyone else was at parties. He remembered Tristan and popcorn highs and James and him drinking. He remembered his first date with Lilly, at the beach, and kissing her and how amazing he felt. It was a dream come true those first days.
But dreams only last so long until you wake up, and Mat woke up fast. Drinking overcame his life, and he spiraled out of control in attempts to feel 'normal' He hated his stutter, his panic attacks and drove to those lengths to kill them off. He remembered [because he was lying when he said he didn't remember] losing his virginity to Tyler, that drunken night when he was so excited to go to a party for once at the sake he could dress up as his favorite hero. He remembered the party where Lilly found out and he saw her with Lilly and everything just sort of crashed. He could remember laying in the street, wanting to die, feeling more alone as usual as he watched everyone else. He remembered Faye and seeing her happy, wanting to be that happy too but feeling as if he never would be.
But easily Mat got out of that, and he was okay now. He was happy. He met more people, like Lennox and Mikki. Sure some of his old friends left, but new ones came and some stayed as well. He still had the comics that Tristan and him bough together, the conversations in his head. He remembered his date with Alex and the fact they met drunk and wanting to have fun. He stopped stuttering, he stopped getting nervous. Someone could touch him and he didn't freak out. And Mat, Mat didn't think he'd ever get this far.
He didn't see it happening, the boy with parents who didn't care about him and who had no friends being happy, and a boyfriend he knew he loved. He had friends now, he had a beautiful girl to whom he could call his even if she wasn't exactly his. He had friends, people to talk to, people who wanted to talk to him. And he just, he couldn't believe it.
Which was why leaving sucked for him, because he didn't want to go, he never wanted to go. Mat had left messages for everyone. Letters to Alex and Tristan and Mikki and everyone else in camp. Even posted it on the camp board. He promised to come back and visit every chance he got, left his phone number and new address and pleaded to keep in touch. He told Alex he was going to miss him and if he couldn't do long distance that was okay and he could find someone else, maybe someone better. He explained how he was going to miss everyone and how each person impacted his life.
The bus came fast, and wiping the tears from his eyes Mat got up and grabbed his fingers ready to start again. Maybe the camp would need another male counselor next year, and he knew he could always catch some more sun.
