outcast

Matilda Jayne Avery 17 // Ravenclaw "the caged bird sings with a fearful trill, of things unknown but longed for still."

[jesperfahey]

[dailykayascodelario]

[fluoradolescents]

Clothes are my drug. I love Camden market - I have so many vintage pieces from there it’s unbelievable. Clothes are really important to me, they give me that feeling of happiness. I love being a bit free with it all and not giving myself rules.

[matilda-avery]

matilda & marlene

Sometimes simply being in the castle of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry gave Matilda Avery a headache so strong you’d think she’d been beaten around the head by the Whomping Willow, but that was mostly whenever she came across her brother Gideon. The rest of the time it was more of a home than her real ‘home’ had ever been to her, it was filled with people who didn’t constantly call her names or make her feel worthless the way her parents and brother did. Years of abuse - mostly mental, but there had been ‘incidents’ that had escalated - had turned Matilda in on herself. There was not a shred of self-esteem left, but if you asked anyone who didn’t truly know her they would scoff at the thought. 

On the exterior, Matilda Jayne Avery was a downright bitch. People believed that she was a mini version of her horrid brother, and as much as she wanted to be liked and cared about, she was far too terrified of the prospect of letting someone get the better of her the way that her family did. No attachments, with the exception of a few friends, it was much easier this way. Matilda couldn’t stand the idea of letting someone into her heart only to have them stomp all over it and leave her even more of a wreck than she already was. So, arrogance and sarcasm became her best friend as soon as she learnt what the words meant - she was an Avery in appearance, despite her family’s attempts to pretend she wasn’t. 

Today was just another day at Hogwarts, no special events of any description planned, except when Matilda found herself wandering the halls of Hogwarts lost in her own thoughts about her appalling older brother and how much she wished the killing curse wasn’t Unforgivable if it was used on boys like Gideon. She had even dreamed of murdering him, and while the dreams had left her waking in an incredible mood it never took long for her to realise just how twisted it was to enjoy the idea of another human’s death, but no-one truly understood the depths of her brother’s dark heart the way she did. 

Speak of the Devil, and he shall appear - well, think of him, at least - rounding a corner Matilda spotted the familiar shape of her brother at the end of the corridor, squaring up to a poor defenceless student who she couldn’t see due to her brother’s impressive size. Matilda wasn’t small, she was an easy five foot eight but her brother was six foot five and built like a Greek god in terms of muscle and strength - she knew the force he could put behind a punch far too well. 

The walk to her brother seemed to last a lifetime as memories followed her of the pain he’d inflicted on her for her whole life. The ghosts of their childhood engulfed her like a force she couldn’t hold off as they pressed down on her chest and made it hard to breathe. This was no ordinary fear, this wasn’t finding yourself stood before a werewolf in the middle of the Forbidden Forest on your own. It wasn’t standing against a wizard you were no match for in a duel where your life hung in the balance. This fear was ingrained in her bones, it was familiar and it never lessened despite being so regular. This fear was deep rooted and oh so much worse. 

But things had begun to change recently for Matilda, she had started to learn that what she had been put through, although she had always known it wasn’t normal, wasn’t unstoppable. After seventeen years of being made to feel like she wasn’t worthy of anything, enough was enough. Dealing with Gideon without the back-up of their parents behind her despicable brother was first on the agenda. Matilda knew now that this path she was about to take was going to leave her with no ‘home’ to return to anymore, but that was better than this. That was no home, only a house where her blood relatives lived - not her family.

Taking a quiet breath, Matilda braced herself for the storm that was about to break right before her, “Gideon Robert Avery, will you ever learn to pick on someone your own size?” she said to her brother’s back, and within seconds his dark haired head snapped around to glare at his little sister, moving out of the way enough to see just who he had been victimising, none other than Marlene McKinnon. “Marls?” Matilda’s eyebrows knitted together in concern for a moment, before her expression turned to match her brother’s evil snarl, all fear evaporating - he’d taken it too far this time, and so had Marlene for that matter, she knew better than to fly into Gideon’s warpath.

@marlsmckinnonx

[marlsmckinnonx]

It was astounding really that a girl of Marlene’s stature had the innate ability to make her presence in a room known without saying a word, although that by no means meant she was quiet, no Marlene McKinnon was a loud mouthed, sarcastic, spoilt princess who would cut you down without a seconds thought or a hint of regret and people were simply drawn to her, she was annoyingly loveable and completely unforgettable – and that’s exactly the way she liked it. Marked for death from an early age the tiny Gryffindor with her doe like chocolate eyes and fiery temper had promised not only her family but also herself that she would live each day as though it were her last – which in her case, it very well could be – she lived for adventure, for the thrill of doing things she wasn’t supposed to, and generally getting up to no good. Marlene McKinnon was not simply a girl, she was a storm with skin, a hurricane waiting to happen, the Gryffindor was a ticking time bomb, both figuratively in the sense that her emotions were almost always running high, one minute she was hot the next she was cold and most people didn’t know whether they were coming or going when it came to Marls, but also literally in that one of these days she was going to implode, send the world of everyone she knew crashing down when she simply ceased to exist.

No one should know how or when they’re going to die, death should never truly enter a persons mind – it is the inevitable, the one thing that is certain in life and should be accepted graciously, but when you know it’s coming, and that it’s coming far sooner than you’d like everything else no longer seems to matter. Everyone knew about Marley McKinnon and the fact she was marked for an early death, her friends tended to avoid the topic entirely, occasionally she’d catch her teachers looking at her sadly, their expressions awash with sympathy for the girl who was destined to be taken too young but the Gryffindor was determined to not only be remembered for her death, she wanted to be remembered for how she lived her life. Whether that meant taking part in Sirius Black’s infamous pranks, or showing off in death defying acts of sheer stupidity she didn’t care, it could even be something as trivial and insignificant as standing up for a younger student who was getting it in the neck for simply being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

That’s exactly what was happening today, not too far in the distance Gideon Avery, a brute of a boy whose morals and general persona Marlene simply abhorred, was bellowing at a young Hufflepuff girl, who stood cowering against a wall, tears running down her pretty face. Marlene knew all about Avery, the way he was and the dominance over just about everyone – including his sister – which he craved and she had just about had enough of it. “You’ve got about 3 seconds Avery to let her go before I curse your arse into oblivion.” The feisty Gryffindor spat out, squaring up to the much taller boy who had by this point redirected his attention to her. She didn’t know how long they’d argued or how many times Avery threated to punch her straight through the wall before Matilda showed up and in some form or another called her brother off. “Tilly just in time, I was just about to petrificus totalus this creature you call a brother into next week.” Marley breathed, moving to stand alongside her friend and folding her arms across her chest. One perfectly shaped eyebrow was raised and she narrowed her dark, doe like eyes in Gideon’s direction. “It’s about time someone showed him he can’t crash about the castle like he owns the place.” She hadn’t picked up on the irritation in Matilda’s voice, her entire body was alive with the thrill of what had just happened, adrenaline was pumping so quickly through her veins that she could hear the rushing of her blood in her ears.

@matilda-avery

[matilda-avery]

Matilda tried her hardest to focus on her breathing in order to try to not completely lose control over herself, years of living in a household with the people she was unfortunately related to had finally taken its toll and her sanity was slowly starting to crack and the brunette girl worried hugely about whether or not she'd be able to stop herself from destroying them if she ever did truly crack under the pressure of being the ‘disappointing’ member of the Avery family. The idea that she, out of the four Avery’s in her immediate family, was the disappointing one made her want to scoff - Matilda was vastly more intelligent than her dim-witted brother who was all fists, fury and vile words. She was braver than her weak-willed mother who lived behind her backhanded insults and bowed down to every word her cruel father spewed from his uncaring mouth. 

No, Matilda Avery was no disappointment, not anymore. "You really shouldn't rely on my appearance to save your butt every time you feel like an adrenaline rush, Marls." Tilly snarled without looking at Marlene, she would deal with her properly once she had dealt with the seething barbarian stood in front of her with his teeth bared as though he planned to rip her throat out with them like a savage. The Ravenclaw girl couldn't count how many times she had watched his face twist this way with rage, and had also lost count over how many times it had sent her running. 

"Stay out of it, Tills, this doesn't concern you." Matilda raised both eyebrows in surprise, it was a positively civil retort from her brother, normally he would call her every name under the sun. Watching her brother's expression twist into one that would strike fear into almost every student in the school, Matilda stood her ground - her days of putting up with the abuse were over. Her brother Gideon was pure evil, morphed and moulded into a creature she wouldn't even deem worthy of cleaning her shoes by the parents she loathed, and watching the storm brewing beneath the surface of his features was something she had spent her whole life doing. Batten down the hatches boys, Matilda thought to herself as she matched his expression.

"You'll regret that when I tell our parents, you little bitch." Gideon hissed at her, taking a step closer so that the size difference between the siblings became much more obvious. Matilda wasn't small, but her brother was practically a giant next to her at six foot five, and he certainly had a lot more muscle than she did. Matilda glanced sideways at Gideon's friends, noticing the sneers on their faces and realising that perhaps angering him in front of his friends wasn't the wisest idea, it was too late now, might as well finish what she'd started. 

"Oh boo-fucking-hoo Gideon, are you going to need mummy and daddy to fight all your battles for you forever? Isn't that sweet!" Matilda offered him her sweetest smile before flicking him on the nose as hard as she could, to knock him down from his high horse in front of his friends. His expression was incredulous as he turned and walked away, "catch you later boys," she chimed at his friends with a wave of her hand as they followed suit. It gave her great satisfaction as she knew instantly that Gideon wasn't man enough to show the students of Hogwarts the true monster he really was just yet, he'd save beating her up for the confines of their family home; house, not a home, it will never be home to me she reminded herself.

Breathing a deep sigh of relief, Matilda collapsed backwards against the wall, running a hand through her dark hair as her hands began to shake - the fear returned as quickly as it had left. A few moments of deep breaths and her anger returned, but not at Gideon who was no doubt already planning how to get back at his sister. Looking up at her friend, Matilda's blue eyes narrowed, "Are you actually mentally deranged?! Like, really, seriously mentally deranged? Did I dream all those times I told you what he is capable of? There will come a point where he stops caring whether people witness the truth in the rumours they've been hearing about what he does to me." 

Between the fear of her family and worrying about Marlene on a path to destroy herself, Matilda was sure she was ten seconds away from having a brain aneurism from all the stress, she doubted there was another seventeen year old as close to a mental breakdown as she was. “You have to stop doing this, you absolute moron. I’m all for living life like it’s your last day on Earth but if you told me my last day was spent getting beaten up by a piece of shit like my brother I’d say no thanks pal.” Rolling her blue eyes in exasperation Matilda pushed herself up off the wall and stood up straight again.

marlsmckinnonx

[galgadotssss-deactivated2016071]

[ronanlynhc]

I look at lots of people. That doesn’t mean I want to get to know them. 

[stonelario]

[effyfitzgerald-blog]

Nobody breaks my heart. 

[harleyquinzel]

[matilda-avery]

“If you close your eyes you see darkness. But if you keep them closed for long enough… you’ll see light.”

[matilda-avery]

I've had this gif on my computer for so long, kinda want to do something with Tills where she gets possessed or cursed or something idk

[matilda-avery]

Matilda & Evan

evanrosier-s

Years of torment had turned Matilda Jayne Avery in on herself; she locked out the rest of the world, and cautiously gave the key to a select few. Being constantly told that you are not worthy of the family name, but being allowed to keep it to be reminded of her family's 'generosity' that they didn't throw her out onto the street was enough to grind anyone down into dust that scattered in the wind. Matilda had grown herself a thick skin as a means to survive the terror wreaked upon her life by her older brother Gideon and their terrifying parents. This 'thick skin' had manifested itself in a bitchy attitude and arrogance that had come to define her.

Ironically, the front that she put on matched the family characteristics to a T - it was as though she had finally fit in with the Avery family, but they would never truly accept her no matter how hard she tried. It had taken seventeen years, but finally things were starting to change - Matilda could take no more. She had started her rebellion slowly and quietly, in the safety of the castle walls where her parents couldn't reach her. Gideon was her aim, and it was proving rather easy to get the best of him already. She had faced up to him in the corridor at least three times now, with no repercussions, yet, anyway.

The brunette Ravenclaw wasn't sure if she'd ever be able to live her life without checking around every corner for her brother or her parents, if she'd ever be able to fully relax and feel as though she were completely out of their clutches, but recently she had felt more at ease than she had ever felt in her life - and it was bliss. As it turns out, Gideon Avery wasn't too fond of the idea of showing his true colours to the rest of the castle just yet, despite the fact that everyone had been hearing the rumours for years already - Matilda had stopped hiding her bruises in her third year, slowly learning to embrace the fact that she shouldn't be ashamed of them; the inflictor of those bruises was the only one who should feel shame.

Standing up to her brother had given her a new lease of confidence, but it didn't feel as though it was entirely a front these days. Sat in one of the armchairs of the Library with her legs dangling lazily over one arm and her nose in a book about dragons Matilda Avery was able muse over ways to get the better of her brother and hopefully do one better - she wanted to humiliate him the way he had been humiliating her for all these years.

[andcrsjyn]

[kayascodelariosdaily]

[juornals-deactivated20150606]

[celebsource-blog]

[clarastonem]

[matilda-avery]

matilda & marlene

Sometimes simply being in the castle of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry gave Matilda Avery a headache so strong you'd think she'd been beaten around the head by the Whomping Willow, but that was mostly whenever she came across her brother Gideon. The rest of the time it was more of a home than her real 'home' had ever been to her, it was filled with people who didn't constantly call her names or make her feel worthless the way her parents and brother did. Years of abuse - mostly mental, but there had been 'incidents' that had escalated - had turned Matilda in on herself. There was not a shred of self-esteem left, but if you asked anyone who didn't truly know her they would scoff at the thought. 

On the exterior, Matilda Jayne Avery was a downright bitch. People believed that she was a mini version of her horrid brother, and as much as she wanted to be liked and cared about, she was far too terrified of the prospect of letting someone get the better of her the way that her family did. No attachments, with the exception of a few friends, it was much easier this way. Matilda couldn't stand the idea of letting someone into her heart only to have them stomp all over it and leave her even more of a wreck than she already was. So, arrogance and sarcasm became her best friend as soon as she learnt what the words meant - she was an Avery in appearance, despite her family's attempts to pretend she wasn't. 

Today was just another day at Hogwarts, no special events of any description planned, except when Matilda found herself wandering the halls of Hogwarts lost in her own thoughts about her appalling older brother and how much she wished the killing curse wasn't Unforgivable if it was used on boys like Gideon. She had even dreamed of murdering him, and while the dreams had left her waking in an incredible mood it never took long for her to realise just how twisted it was to enjoy the idea of another human's death, but no-one truly understood the depths of her brother's dark heart the way she did. 

Speak of the Devil, and he shall appear - well, think of him, at least - rounding a corner Matilda spotted the familiar shape of her brother at the end of the corridor, squaring up to a poor defenceless student who she couldn't see due to her brother's impressive size. Matilda wasn't small, she was an easy five foot eight but her brother was six foot five and built like a Greek god in terms of muscle and strength - she knew the force he could put behind a punch far too well. 

The walk to her brother seemed to last a lifetime as memories followed her of the pain he'd inflicted on her for her whole life. The ghosts of their childhood engulfed her like a force she couldn't hold off as they pressed down on her chest and made it hard to breathe. This was no ordinary fear, this wasn't finding yourself stood before a werewolf in the middle of the Forbidden Forest on your own. It wasn't standing against a wizard you were no match for in a duel where your life hung in the balance. This fear was ingrained in her bones, it was familiar and it never lessened despite being so regular. This fear was deep rooted and oh so much worse. 

But things had begun to change recently for Matilda, she had started to learn that what she had been put through, although she had always known it wasn't normal, wasn't unstoppable. After seventeen years of being made to feel like she wasn't worthy of anything, enough was enough. Dealing with Gideon without the back-up of their parents behind her despicable brother was first on the agenda. Matilda knew now that this path she was about to take was going to leave her with no 'home' to return to anymore, but that was better than this. That was no home, only a house where her blood relatives lived - not her family.

Taking a quiet breath, Matilda braced herself for the storm that was about to break right before her, "Gideon Robert Avery, will you ever learn to pick on someone your own size?" she said to her brother's back, and within seconds his dark haired head snapped around to glare at his little sister, moving out of the way enough to see just who he had been victimising, none other than Marlene McKinnon. "Marls?" Matilda's eyebrows knitted together in concern for a moment, before her expression turned to match her brother's evil snarl, all fear evaporating - he'd taken it too far this time, and so had Marlene for that matter, she knew better than to fly into Gideon's warpath.

marlsmckinnonx