Believe

Claudia Stilinski [Klaudia Nowak] Wife, Mother, Friend, Baker I'm the mother of an adorable ball of energy that we call Stiles, and the better half to a great husband who just happens to be the sheriff of Beacon Hills County. Mun and Muse are 21+ Tracking: matkastilinski Adult FC: Holly Marie Combs Teen FC: Madeline Carroll

[humanbetastilinski-blog]

Won't, not Don't, Understand || matkastilinski

[humanbetastilinski-blog]

Stiles all but quivered under her arm when she called him smart. He loved making her proud. He liked being smart for her just as much as he wanted to get Lydia’s attention. Plus, Scott needed him to be smart, too. Scott was too nice. 

Stiles nodded seriously at her advice, eyebrows scrunched together and lip between his teeth as he chewed thoughtfully. He’d probably have to read it himself, and if Mom was feeling okay, explain it to her first, but he could figure it out and teach Scott. “You’re smarter than me, Mom,” Stiles told her firmly, preening under her hand stroking over his hair. When she reached his side, he let out an indignant squawk and wriggled as he laughed aloud. “Hey! Tickling is cheating! Why can’t I think about marriage? You and Dad are going to love each other forever and ever, right? What if I found my forever and ever, just like you’re Dad’s?”

[matkastilinski]

Claudia laughed at his squawk, smiling at him, though she reeled him in again for more cuddles quickly. "Tickling isn't cheating when there's no rule against it." She said it like a secret, like she was sharing a little rule to live by. And maybe she was, telling him a little hack that his father would never share since he was an officer of the law and all.

"I hope you find your forever, like I have with your father," she told him softly. "But don't make it your priority so soon, baby. If Lydia's your forever and ever, give her time and give yourself time, it won't happen overnight. Learn ways to surprise her, and anyone else who might be your forever." She was surprised that her words hadn't faltered yet. Maybe she was finally getting a bit of a reprieve from her illness.

[humanbetastilinski-blog]

Won't, not Don't, Understand || matkastilinski

[humanbetastilinski-blog]

Stiles’ couldn’t help but grin widely when his mom woke up and instigated some much needed cuddling. In his mind, he’d never be too old for this. He could be old, super old, like 30, and he’d probably still cuddle with his mom, Stiles thought. He squirmed over the blankets and tucked himself close. She didn’t smell like the hospital today, which made it even nicer. 

"Yeah," he muttered unnecessarily. Normally he’d protest to the nickname, but he was too content to pretend he was too big for it. "Today in science we played with sand that doesn’t get wet in water. It was super cool. Lydia knew exactly why, too, and explained it to us, but she got mad when nobody else got it. I got it though. I had to look up some of the big words, but I knew more than Scott did. I think, if I get really smart, maybe she’ll marry me then. What do you think?"

[matkastilinski]

She wrapped herself around her son, cuddling the boy under the blankets. He was one of the few bright spots in her days anymore, and she loved how excited he got about little things. "You're so smart, Stiles," she whispered, not wanting to talk too loud and break whatever spell was keeping her growing son interested in spending time with her.

"You should explain it to Scott so he understands as well," Claudia said. "It will make you even smarter, rybka, to be able to explain things simply to others. That is sure to get Lydia's attention." She ran her hand over Stiles' head, a barely there shake to her movements, and trails her fingers down to tickle his side. "But don't be thinking about marriage too soon, sweetie."

[humanbetastilinski-blog]

Won't, not Don't, Understand || matkastilinski

matkastilinski

[humanbetastilinski-blog]

Stiles knew something was wrong. They thought he was too young to notice, but how could he not? Not when his mom forgot his favorite superhero was Spiderman, last year it was Batman, but this year he wanted Spiderman everything, but Mom bought him a Batman t-shirt instead. It was cool, he liked it, but Mom should’ve known it was supposed to be Spiderman. She also forgot that he didn’t like Kix anymore, it was boring. He liked Captain Crunch, even though it scratched his mouth. She forgot his teacher’s name. And she’d gone to the hospital three times when he couldn’t remember his mom EVER going to the hospital. Dad was always frowning now, always watching Mom, which he always did, but usually looking at Mom made Dad smile. Now he just frowned and frowned like he was trying not to cry.

Stiles didn’t like it. It scared him. Made his heart hurt and it was really hard to breathe sometimes. He snuck into his parents’ room after school, standing in the door and watching his mom nap when she should be kissing him at the door and giving him snacks. He kicked off his shoes and crawled into the bed. 

"Mom?" he whispered.

[matkastilinski]

Claudia knew she was deteriorating, and she knew it was happening faster than any of them could handle. She had to sleep more often as the shakiness and muscle spasms got worse and made her frequently fatigued. Her ability to say the things she wanted, to string together sentences eloquently as she once had was so severely diminished at times that she didn't want to open her mouth. 

She'd have to go to the hospital again in a day or two, have yet another check up and MRI to see how much more her brain has shrunk since the last appointment.

The hardest part of all was the toll she knew it was taking on John. Her husband was such a strong man, but even strong men had breaking points and things they could not handle. She didn't want to leave him to raise their son on his own, but it was looking increasingly more likely that it would happen and happen soon. She didn't let herself think about how it was affecting Stiles, their perceptive little boy.

Claudia woke slowly at the dip of the bed. Her lips curved into a sleepy smile at the sight of Stiles in front of her. "Mój rybko... Home from school already?" The Polish endearment slid off her tongue easy as pie, easier than English seemed to half the time. She lifted her arm to encourage him closer.

[inboxideas]

Send me "Librarian!" + a number and I'll grab the closest book, flip to that page number, and make us a starter using a random line of text from said page!

[smalltownsheriff-blog]

What to do, When it all falls apart || John & Ghost!Claudia

[smalltownsheriff-blog]

It had been a long day. A long annoying day. He got into the house and stumbled his way to the stairs. He blinked to many times. It was well past midnight and his brain kinda told him to just lay down on the stairs. He didn’t though. 

He checked on Stiles. Yelled at he boy to go to bed. Then he went to his room. Uniform falling to the floor as he stepped into the shower in the master bath. He wanted to just sleep but,  he needed to shower. After a day like today. Wash work away. 

After that he pulled on his pajama pants and the white t-shirt. He remembered the talk about clothes on in bed with Claud as he did. She had been heavy in his thoughts today. The talk was about if she had to wear clothes to bed cause the little boy could see. He had to wear a shirt. 

He face planted his pillow as he fell into bed. When that scent hit his face he felt tears hit is eyes. He arms wrapped up and around the pillow as he clung it to him. “I wish you where here…” 

[matkastilinski]

Claudia felt herself tugged back to the house, though she'd told herself she wasn't going to visit again that day. John didn't need to be reminded of her too often, it hurt as much as it helped. 

She stopped to look in on their son. She watched him as he sat at his computer, interspersing bursts of frantic typing with unfocused staring and quick reading of whatever was on the screen. She didn't get too close, didn't want to interrupt him, but she wished she could touch him. Stiles was growing up so well, was finally starting to grow into his limbs, and she hated that she was missing it.

With one last fond look at the boy, she let herself drift to where she was needed. It was easy to phase through the door and see him there, wrapped around the pillow she'd spritzed with her perfume. He looked so worn out, and her heart hurt. 

"Oh John. Always pushing yourself too hard for too long." She stood at the end of the bed, watching him. She wished she could touch him, but she didn't think it would be a good idea.

[matkastilinski]

Illness themed RP starters!

"When is the last time you ate?"

"Let me get you a glass of water."

"You can lay down in my bed if you need to."

"Don't cry, you're going to be fine."

"You're safe, I've got you."

"You're fever's too high, you're delirious."

"Sleep it off."

"Can I get you anything?"

"Here, vomit in this."

"You've been out for days. I was worried you were dead."

"When is the last time you slept?"

"How bad does your stomach hurt?"

"How long have you had that cough?"

"Hold on. You're too sick to go anywhere."

"I'll get you a blanket, you're going to be here for a while."

"Let's go home, you're too sick."

"I can do that, just go back to bed."

"Maybe you should go to the doctor."

"Come on, at least sleep in a bed."

[smalltownsheriff-blog]

What to do, When it all falls apart || John & Ghost!Claudia

He walked up to a gravestone. He sighed when he read the name. Like he always did when he saw that name. He laid the dozen purple lilies on the grave. Not roses and knelt down. “Hi… Claud…” He gently rubbed the dust off the top of the stone. 

"I..  didn’t know who else to talk to. So, I thought I would talk to you. Stiles, he is having night terrors again. But.. Dammit,. Claud he isn’t a little boy. I don’t know how to fix it now. It’s not as easy as doing a patrol around the house and having a fake tussle with the monster in the closet."

He bite his lip and took a breath. “And there are real monsters. Not metaphorically. Werewolves… and a crap what was it… A… crap…” He put his hand to his head. “Druid! Evil druid locked me in a basement. How do I save him from that?”  

He chuckled to himself and smiled. As if he could see her face giving him that you know better look. “Yea.. I imagine the answer is I just do right? Straight on tell morning.” He stood up when his walkie went off. After a quick interchange with the dispatcher he glanced at the stone. “Well.. Time to go to work. Love you.” He placed a kiss to his fingers then to the top of the stone. Before walking back to his truck.

[matkastilinski]

Claudia lingered near her grave. She visited her stone often, not quite able to let go of it or her family. She watched her son grow, watched John crawl in and out of a bottle, watched things get better as they dealt with her death, and then saw things start to get worse. She knew what was going on, had known some of it when she was alive - Talia Hale had been one of her friends, after all. 

She watched John lay a beautiful bunch of lilies at her stone from a distance. She stayed within earshot, listened to him pour his worries out to her stone, unaware that she was close. She'd seen some of it as it happened, but she couldn't stray too far from their home and the cemetery without getting woozy. 

Claudia drifted closer as he started to walk away and rested her hand over where he'd placed the kiss on the stone with his fingers. "That's right, John," she said softly. "Straight on 'til morning." She looked up and watched as his cruiser pulled away. With a sad smile and a push of will, she flickered a few times before she left the cemetery to go to the home they'd shared.

It always made her stumble when she jumped from one place to another, but she was strongest in the home she'd purchased with her husband, the house they'd had their son in. Claudia lightly touched picture frames as she made her way to the room they'd shared. She let herself walk right through the closed bedroom door and to the dresser.

Thinking the most serene thoughts she was able, Claudia carefully pulled the top drawer open, the one that held little mementos from her life, and the small bottle of her favorite perfume. She lifted it and drifted toward the bed. With a soft smile, Claudia spritzed the perfume over his pillow, just enough to leave a lingering scent by the time he got home. She did it to let him know that she was around, that she heard him and was offering her support even though he couldn't see or hear her himself.

She kissed her fingers and pressed them to his pillow. "Straight on 'til morning," she whispered. With a calming breath, Claudia returned the perfume to its drawer, closed it, and left the house.

[nearlyvintage]

Holly Marie Combs 

[teenwolfmen]

[hoech-bear]

[dear-indies]

We are creating a giant master-list for every Teen Wolf roleplayer.

The list is here.