Howell Settlement

Gabby, 23 years old. Mother of Oliver (10/15) Lover of Fallout and horror games. We have quite the nerdy family.

[cartoonnetwork]

The one and only Peridorito. 

[alphaqueer-blog]

if you go to buy a novel that’s been adapted into a movie and you choose the cover with the actors instead of the original cover, i swear to fucking god i will track you down and hug you so hard for choosing to read a book at all regardless of the fucking cover and the opinions of book elitists

[laerugo]

#I did not expect that sentence to go the way it did

[iguanamouth]

how fucking dare you shittalk dr pepper

show me their medical license 

[mckaylamoors]

You know, Say Yes to the Dress may be one of my guiltiest guilty pleasures but I have literally never seen a more body-positive, sex-positive, race-positive, all-inclusive show in my fucking life. 

[fndungeonmom]

also I love it when the consultants passively aggressively rip the family members a new one when they try to tell the bride what to wear

[thebaconsandwichofregret]

they’re so wonderfully indulgent, you wanna be an angel unicorn goth metal princess? we can do that! You like this style but it’s out of your price range? we got a similar one with fewer sequins that we can do you a deal on.

It’s just the best

[thisisfromawhileago]

“You like the top of this dress, and the bottom of that one, THATS OK WE’LL JUST CUT IT IN TWO AND MAKE A COMPLETELY NEW DRESS!”

[eclecticwitcheryafoot]

Searching for the Halloween section of stores like

[lifehacks247]

For More Posts Like This Follow LifeHacks247

[fuckress]

Sorry for the long post :)

[ferai-likes-random-stuff]

@sedatayuun @ffxiv-angora @tiergan-vashir @tenten-ooc @humanmagi @bennettdiction @noche-nightfuse

[hobovampire]

I CANT STOP LAUGHING THIS IS SO GOOD

[emeraldscholar]

long post but brilliant

[littlecofiegirl]

This is awesome. XD

[mauzymorn]

I’m dying 😂

[fawnvelveteen]

Bridesmaid’s Dress. 1896. By House of Worth.

[raisingwildlings]

If I tell you not to do something to my baby,

if i say stop,

if i say no,

you need to fucking stop.

I don’t care how many kids you have “successfully” raised,

I don’t care what your relationship with me is,

I don’t care how trivial it seems to you.

My goddamn baby, my fucking rules.

[okay--anyways]

“Protect bi girls who are into men!” ….From whom

[angryinkeddrunk]

Mainly from lesbians who like to call us things like “dick worshipers”, “basically straight”, “bihets”, “cheaters”, “untrustworthy”, “breeders” and “traitors”. 

[honey-nympho]

Also from men who think we’ll make out with girls for their entertainment. And couples that think we’re always down for threesomes. And also just society in general who think we can’t be faithful.

[marauders4evr]

People always joke about the Marauders thinking a stray dog is really Sirius but imagine that the Marauders are exploring the Forbidden Forest and they split up and all of a sudden, a deer comes over and nudges Sirius. And he’s just like, “Oh, hey, mate.” And the deer just nudges him again. And they finally decide to head back to the castle but the deer is having none of it so they literally have to drag him out of the forest. Only they’re panicking because he’s not changing back and come on James, this isn’t funny, you know we can’t get caught. And so they start to worry that something is wrong and he can’t change back. And so they smuggle him back into the castle. And by smuggle I mean, they throw the Invisibility Cloak over him but since he’s a deer, it doesn’t really cover much. And that’s the story of how Professor McGonagall looks up and sees three boys shoving a headless deer past her doorway and she promptly decides that it’s not her problem.

So they get the deer to the common room and it’s only then that they begin to speculate that maybe this deer isn’t James after all. But the deer just keeps doing really vague things that could be James. And they spend the rest of the afternoon having to decide if this really is James and if it is, if he’s messing with them or if something’s wrong, and if he’s not, did they just kidnap a deer?

[tumblizr-blog]

Y'all knew this was coming

[yomorrow]

#challah

[negaverse-scum]

oh no i’m white bread D:

[ash-ofpallet]

[rachelreine]

[thenoodlebooty]

Ash what is your damage

[boredpanda]

Artist Illustrates Everyday Life With Her Boyfriend, Shows That Love Is In The Small Things

[archive95205-blog]

today at work i let someone into a dressing room and they said “thanks” and half of me tried to say “you’re welcome” and the other half tried to say “no problem” and i ended up saying “your problem”

[lemonbraid-deactivated20130415]

[missmephisto]

this post had me in tears

[ghost-plot]

I was hoping the notes would be full of similar stories, but they’re not, so I’ll add my story for anyone else looking for more laughs:

I had to go to a library to pay a fee and I was practicing in the car between “I have to pay a fine” and “I have to pay a fee” and I walked in and firmly stated “I have to pee” and slapped a five dollar bill on the counter (the fee was like ten cents), and walked out. This was like three years ago and I still haven’t been back,

[greatestgoth]

My friend was driving and we were almost past our turnoff so I tried to say “quick” and “fast” at the same time and I ended up screaming “QUACK” which ended up with him judging me very hard and missing the turn

[soldieronbarnes]

Recently someone in class asked me how I was doing and I started off saying I was good but switched to I’m okay in the middle and ended up saying “I’m gay.”

Which, while kind of accurate, was not what I meant to announce to my classmate.

[spankyhole]

This Halloween I was handing out candy and a child said “trick or treat” and I smiled gave them their candy and apparently my mouth betrayed me and I said “Merry Christmas” and proceeded to sit down and look up to the sky for answers while their mother laughed at me :)))))

[succlentwitch]

I was switching between “Bye Deanna” and “Goodbye” and I ended up saying “Go Die”

[stellaathena]

Sometimes I try to say “I fucking love you” but it comes out in the wrong order and then everyone’s uncomfortable.

[magebird-old]

When I first started my coffee shop job, I was still getting used to greeting customers as they came in the door. A man walked in, and in the jumble of trying to say, “How are you doing?” and “What’s up?” I ended up demanding “What are you doing here?!”

[ledamemangociana]

something really cool happened once at the office and i started to say “i’m so amazed” but halfway through my mind changed to “that’s really amazing” and i just ended up saying “i’m really so amazing”

[umbrellabonsai-deactivated20180]

one time i was out in the woods in the spring when the birds were just beginning to come out again and i went to say “i’m so pumped for the birds” and “i’m so hyped for the birds” and instead i said “i’m so humped for birds”

[muraqiba]

Once I was walking to school and there was a guy walking his dog and the dog came to me and started sniffing me and I was in such a good mood and when I passed by his owner I wanted to say like “hello” or “good morning” or “cute dog” or something like that and I ended up looking up at him, smiling real big, and saying “thank you”. 

[thegenderfluiddruid]

I was at the convenience store and I was going to buy a drink, but i dropped my keys and the drink when I got to the register so I got caught between “my drink!” and “my keys” and ended up screaming “MY KINK.”

[meme-of-lord-deactivated2016102]

I walked up to this register,in a target. When the cashier finished checking me out she said have a good day, and i wanted to say “You have a good day” and “You too” so it came out “You have a good do do”

[queenvalerie-replies-deactivate]

I FUCKIN H HIT MY HEAD ON A CHAIR FROM LAUGHING TOO HARD AT THIS FUCKING POS T

[andyouknowit]

This post is too good. I once tried to say have a nice day or have a good day to a customer and said ‘Have a nude gay!’. Still haven’t recovered.

[softurl]

this isn’t even my story (trust me, i have so many) but at the previous incarnation of the store i work at, cashiers could ask customers if they wanted their single pieces of fruit washed (since cashiers were also baristas and therefore had a sink behind the counter). one of the managers was working reg, took this man’s apple, looked up at him to ask if he wanted it washed, and said, “would you like to give me a quick rinse?”

[pokemon-go-live]

SDCC News and Team Leaders!

Several things were revealed today at the Pokemon Go panel at SDCC!  Meet your team leaders, Candela, Blanche, and Spark!

There are easter eggs that nobody has found yet

They’re planning ways to customize Pokestops (more lures?)

Pokemon Centers are coming (I wonder what else we can do there besides heal?)

There will be more functionality added to gyms, though the specifics aren’t clear

Niantic says the game is at about 10% of what they want it to be (Yes!  Think of how much could sitll be waiting for us!)

They’re still discussing breeding, but nothing concrete in the works yet

The legendary birds are tied to teams in some way, as the original designs implied

The radar glitch is known, but no news about when it will be fixed.

Events and Legendaries most likely won’t appear until the game has had worldwide rollout.

As for me… I can’t wait for the lore to start with this game.  Ingress has the Niantic Report, I can’t wait for the Go Report!

Source: Kotaku

[maddy-mccabe]