OCs & Shit

matt | 25 | ♈ | he/him | rp blog | main: meaty-matticus | will get nsfw

[girl-effigy]

[valtsv]

yeah sorry i just don't think i can make it out tonight. i have to pick up my wife from her murder trial.

[valtsv]

of course she did it. why do you think i married her.

[insult-2-injury]

[ashstfu]

“i’m going to stab you” gf and “you’re so violent. i like it” bf

[2-beadyeyes-deactivated20251104]

love my terrible wife who wants to kill me so so  bad

[2-beadyeyes-deactivated20251104]

i come home from work every day and narrowly dodge one of her many death traps . when we eat dinner ill smile and say “poison again ?” and she will shrug mischievously but we both know it is very much poison

[the-laridian]

[ashstfu]

i feel like you’ve been treating me differently ever since i died and came back as a spirit

[highonlife22-deactivated2026021]

[sloppystyle]

[cruellesummer]

you wouldn’t be the first renegade to need somebody

[best-of-inspirobot]

[Be sneaky. Be horny. Be a criminal.]

[twinsfawn]

[jumex]

Me after I hotbox my sisters car and walk into ihop

[sandmandaddy69]

[valtsv]

hey wanna be boy best friends *dies in your arms*

[sliversoakley2-deactivated20210]

[soulproof]

cop car - mitski

[sistertaxon]

lol so true busty....i mean breastie...i mean. fuck