Hot Damn

Name's Matt. I'm 32 and live in Doveport. Total open book here so ask and you shall receive!

[mattschues]

[mattschues]

Text || Matt & Jo

Jo: dude, you gotta watch hamilton

Jo: that joke would have slayed with anyone else

[...]

Jo: now i just wanna listen to early 00's disney 😞

Jo: alexa play we're all in this together

Matt: 😫😫😫it’s 79 days long!!!

Matt: Oh Jesus. Is that a HSM reference?? *hisses*

[clownarry-deactivated20260119]

If you don’t like this masterpiece than you have no taste

[mattschues]

Text || Matt & Jo

Jo: oh, am I talkin' too loud?

Jo: sometimes I get overexcited

Jo: shoot off at the mouth

Jo: i never had a group of friends before

Jo: i promise that I'll make y'all proud

Matt: It’s the singing! I swear if she gets started with Jonas Brothers again I’ll roll away to another part of the station

Matt: 😋

[mattschues]

🥳Uncle Matt

Kels: Haha must’ve been.

Kels: For the most part, yeah. I can’t get over how adorable MJ is and how I’m a mom to this little slice of perfection.

Matt: You’re never gonna leave the house are you? 😋

[mattschues]

🥳Uncle Matt

Kels: Hey you! We’re doing good, a bit exhausted but that’s to be expected. I was about to text you and Blaine!

Matt: My ears or eyeballs or whatever must’ve been ringing haha

Matt: you settled at home?

[mattschues]

Text || Matt & Jo

Matt: You and Lizs will be the death of me.

Matt: THE

Matt: DEATH

Matt: !!!!!!!!

[mattschues]

Pictures

Matt loves memes. He LOVES them. Most of his camera roll consists of memes he sends to Blaine whenever he’s got free time at work, along with a few reactionary gifs to throw in when needed. His camera roll wouldn’t be complete without pics of @baristablaine or a few post workout selfies he teases B with.

[mattschues]

Text || Matt & Bri

Bri: ew

Bri: hahahahahaha imagine me rich enough for more than one house

Bri: i said h o m e not house

Matt: don’t go taking back what you said. You promised me 2 houses

[mattschues]

Text || Matt & Bri

Bri: mmmmmm no

Bri: third wheel your vacation to one of my homes - I can see why B would facepalm

Bri: as fun as that would be

Matt: mmmmmmm yes

Matt: how many houses do you have?! Can I have one?

[mattschues]

Text || Matt & Lizzie

Lizzie: I cried a lot Matt. It was awful and now I can not NOT think about the songs.

Lizzie: IT'S ALL DAY

Matt: I’m gonna his at you if you come near me. And don’t tell B I haven’t seen it or we’ll have a musical night again! There’s only so much spontaneous break out in song scenes a man can take!

[mattschues]

Text || Matt & Lizzie

Lizzie: I.... THAT'S WHY I'M TELLING YOU TO RUN.

Matt: 😫😫😫😫😫😫😫😫😫😫

[mattschues]

Text || Matt & Lizzie

Lizzie: Don't.

Lizzie: run away

Lizzie: escape while you can

Matt: knowing you you’ll have me sit down at 3am and tell me to watch so I can be in pain with you!!!

[mattschues]

Text || Matt & Lizzie

Lizzie: MAX MADE ME WATCH HAMILTON

Lizzie: it made me cry WAY WORSE THAN EXPECTED

Matt: I haven’t seen that!!!

[mattschues]

Text || Matt & Benge

Kass: You wish, lol.

Kass: It's good! I won a pretty big one and I did make people cry so that was the whole goal there, lol.

Matt: Look at you bad assing your way in the court room! Congrats on the big win!

[mattschues]

Text || Matt & Lizzie

Lizzie: deAR THEODOSIA WHAT TO SAY TO YOU

Lizzie: YOU HAVE MY EYES

Lizzie: YOU HAVE YOUR MOTHER'S NAME.

Matt: what the fuck are you talking about??!

[mattschues]

Text || Matt & Lizzie

Lizzie: Either way, I feel like I shouldn't comment on this??????????

Matt: uh huh...

Matt: You know we’re not getting married early because you’ll kill me, right?