sorta heavy (?) vent under cut
living is so fucking difficult and i don’t even have a choice . it’s so hard to get better when everything hurts so often and no matter where i go it doesn’t help . being here means dealing with burnout and my own shit on top of it but at least i’m not alone . being home means i’m alone and have to try and try to rely on distractions when i haven’t even left my bed in three days since getting here ... i can’t eat i can’t sleep and it’s just . difficult . nothing i do feels like enough and it’s miserable . relying on other’s feels horrible because they can’t fix me or make me feel better and then i just feel like a let down on top of everything else . jesus fuck i am so depressing ... just gonna . keep trying to feel better and hope things lighten up . i can’t wait for this month to be over
