﹠﹠. ɪᴍ ɴᴏ ʙᴇᴛᴛᴇʀ

i can feel it in my bones, sinking deeper in the overflow. i won't turn my back now that you want to. and if there's nothing left, why does it haunt you? i can feel it take control, falling further in the undertow. can you feel it in your soul? if i'm honest, maybe we're better off alone. i can feel it in my bones, running circles 'cause you're all i know. and i feel it in my soul, if i'm honest.

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ofgriffith‌:

SOMEWHERE ALONG THE WINDING PATH of fight after fight followed by a grace period that couldn’t quite justify why they kept in contact with the other they’ve tripped, stumbled, and fallen ungracefully into… this. this understanding where vera can talk of the MORNING and not have it mean their next meeting to discuss the circumstances of his latest arrest. it’s what he wanted all along, isn’t it? griffith isn’t entirely sure, but to say no would make him feel like a liar. victory doesn’t usually come with crushing GUILT, does it? maybe there was never a chance to win this game at all, and he’s fallen victim to the only thing he’ll ever admit is beyond his control– FATE. even with vera only fucking looking at him, griffith knows that he never stood a chance. her soft-spoken question registers just as the taut muscles of his rotator cuff give a friendly twinge. ‘ walking ‘round the parking lot looking for where it parked its car, actually, ’ he says, trying to ease the line between her brows, but the determination has iced over her irises and despite her reservations, griffith knows that he’s come to the right place. ‘ i’ll talk you through it, ’ he promises, shifting his perch against the counter into a more forgiving position to brace for the oncoming discomfort. there’s a moment while he waits for her to find a steady position for her hands, and he looks up to catch her gaze. ‘ you only hurt me when you steal all of the covers, ’ he says with a half-grin, his attention quickly shifting to the task at hand. ‘ so, you’re going to bend my arm at the elbow and then twist it outward, yeah ? if that doesn’t work, you can start to lift it up. and then if that doesn’t work, ’ he pauses with a nod, ‘ we amputate. sound good ? ’ 

IT IS AT LEAST REASSURING to know griffith is willing to walk her through the process behind placing him on some sort of road to recovery, even if vera remains apprehensive. she had all the capabilities to find success in the medical field, but absolutely not the stomach for it. the amputation comment is only a joke, but the thought alone immediately twists in her gut and she’s shaking her head. ‘ we won’t be doing anything of the sort --- i draw the line at severed limbs. ’ a pause. ‘ and these are new floors. can’t have you bleeding all over them already. ’ again, vera repositions her hands, bending his arm at the elbow as instructed. she doubts griffith will offer her any indication that he’s in greater pain than before, but she finds her eyes flitting between his expression and his arm to ensure she’s not making everything worse. if anything, she’s hoping to make it a little more bearable. ‘ you really should have seen a medic about this.. or someone with more expertise than me. ’ the comment is mumbled under her breath as she begins twisting his arm. it’s perhaps easier to do this without the additional commentary, but, under the right amount of stress, she is prone to either talking too much or not talking at all. tonight, it seems to be the former. ‘ i mean, how are we to know that you’re not bleeding internally as we speak and you’ll be dead by morning because --- is this the WORST of it or is there more? any head trauma? your ribs? ’ she speaks and she twists, and griffith has yet to stop her. but before she can move onto the lifting, she has to ask, ‘ i’m.. still doing this right? ’

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ofgriffith‌:

HIS HALF-ASSED JOKE falls flat, as they typically do with anyone who possesses a maturity level greater than that of a thirteen year old, but it’s worth it if the concern plaguing the blonde’s features melts away even marginally. it doesn’t do much, but if griffith squints just hard enough, he can pretend it’s ire coloring her gaze and nothing more damning. ‘ well, i was still able to come here and crack shit jokes, ’ he wagers a one-armed shrug that tugs at his bruised ribs just like he expected it to, ‘ so clearly not badly enough. ’ as poor as his execution may be, it’s a reassurance, supported also by the fact that had he been SERIOUSLY injured, vera’s the last person he’d want to see the fallout. the bruises will heal, the lacerations will scar; for all intents and purposes, he IS fine. just… stupid, which, unfortunately, has not resolved itself in the twenty-plus years he’s been around. he wanted to see her, wants to all the time like some insatiable hunger, in fact. but he knows that isn’t something she’s ready to hear, so instead he opts to say or do nothing except let his gaze follow the path she takes to the since. ‘ no worries, my liver’s taking the night off, ’ he eases, a soft smile tugging at split lips. ‘ slapping’s always an option, but i figured i’d give you an opportunity to switch it up tonight. ’ he tilts his head leftward, toward his shoulder. ‘ think you could give this thing a yank ? if not, slapping is still VERY MUCH on the table. ’

HER EXPRESSION FALLS to the realm of disapproval with a small shake of her head. the pair of them are wired so differently in most aspects that it’s hard for her to keep up with him. in truth, it’s not even griffith’s humor that bothers her; it’s the timing of it all --- how he can belittle any dire situation into almost nothing. ' i think you’ll fall to your grave with an off-color joke. ’ an early grave at the rate he’s going, but she does not voice it. it’s not a thought vera is particularly fond of. some may romanticize the idea that any moment could be their last, but the reality of it all is far too dark for her to linger on. it’s hard to embrace moment by moment when there is a looming cloud above your head. ‘ no, i think you’ve taken enough beatings for the evening. maybe try your luck in the morning. ’ with this reply, she grants him a half-smile before her eyes flit to the shoulder in question. ‘ dislocated? ’ vera makes the assumption based on his instruction alone and takes a step forward, pushing the sleeves of her sweater up over her elbows. ‘ i can try. ’ the task itself is a little foreboding considering her lack of information --- where she can touch, how much pressure and strength without causing more discomfort or making matters worse for him. but she wants to help, and it’s not often griffith gives her the option to. ‘ you may need to help me. ’ a hand just above his elbow and another curled around his wrist, vera is careful while she tries to straighten his arm out before her to find a better grip. ‘ don’t let me hurt you. ’ icy eyes meet his own so she can communicate just how much she means it.

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ofgriffith‌:

IT’S A DECISION BRED PURELY out of impulse ( though it edges somewhere closer to weakness, he knows ), but his feet are already weighing on the little WELCOME rug, and the door is opening, and it’s too late to do anything but watch as shock flashes over her blue gaze not unlike how rivers and lakes freeze over in the winter. the ringing in his ears is a bit louder than usual– something that generally happens after he gets knocked ‘round a bit, but he’s staring so intently at her face that there isn’t a chance in hell that he misses her words. he says nothing as he steps inside, hasn’t yet formulated an VALID excuse for his abrupt arrival, because despite being guided only be what he WANTS, the more logical side of his brain is screaming at him for how awful of an idea this is. he doesn’t know the exact reason why he came; as brilliant as she was, he doubts she has much experience in patching up whatever bruised up shitshow of a guy who happens to stumble across her doorstep. blunt trauma isn’t exactly something that can be FIXED with anything other than time, anyway, but his injuries aren’t the reason he’s here, and griffith knows that. maybe it’s the fact that he didn’t want to have to hide from her for the weeks it took for the worst of it to subside, maybe he’s tired of the sporadic visits, or maybe he’s taken one hit to the head too many and he’s stupidly ready to risk it all– griffith doesn’t k n o w. ‘ someone– ’ he starts, the words cutting short as he leans gingerly against the kitchen counter, left arm tucked limply across his chest, ‘ someone down the street sold you out and said you had mickey mouse bandaids. sorry you had to find out like this. ’

IT IS TO BE EXPECTED that griffith’s sense of humor will shine through any situation the brit finds himself in. it’s a miracle her eyes haven’t gotten stuck with how often she rolls her eyes in his presence, and this interaction is no exception. ‘ right, well.. you’d be surprised how well mickey mouse bandaids go with pencil skirts and blazers. ’ it’s a teasing remark that comes out awfully DRY, but vera’s not exactly known for her sparkling sense of humor. there is a crinkle knit between her eyebrows as she takes a step forward, arm still outstretched in front of her on the off chance he needs her. ‘ how badly are you hurt? ’ she is not a medic nor capable of being one beyond the basic knowledge she has from patching up her brother --- and herself --- on occasion, but her eyes move over his form as if she has the ability to gauge the severity of his injuries on sight alone. his arm, obviously, stands out in the way he holds it, but there are a multitude of fresh bruises formed along what’s exposed of his skin. maybe if she were bold enough to inspect them up close and personally, she might be able to determine what caused them. any sane person in a normal situation would have sent him straight to the hospital to be treated properly, but that’s not the world they live in --- and if they were TOO severe, she would hope he’d have the wits about him to seek a medical professional instead of planting himself on her doorstep. with a resigned sigh, vera moves to the side of him where her sink is to fetch him a glass of water.. ‘ i don’t have anything stronger to ease the pain, i’m afraid, ’ she murmurs as she offers it to him. ‘ but i can’t help unless you tell me what i can do. ’

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IF IT WEREN’T FOR THE SHOCK, she might have thought up a better response than, ‘ oh my god. ’ a hand starts to reach out, but fails to make contact for fear of causing more damage. she’s only catching a glimpse of what she’s sure runs deeper than he’ll ever admit. ‘ i --- why didn’t you tell me? ’ vera’s caught between concern and outrage --- both familiar feelings when it came to griffith and often paired together, but it’s not a comfort by any means. he shouldn’t have come, not like this, and had she known? she would have found her way to him instead. but that would be too convenient, wouldn’t it? she finally has the mind to step aside, pulling the door with her to give him room to enter. she follows close behind, a hand hovering at his back in case he needs the additional support. she would have herded him straight to the bathroom where her kit is if she had it her way, but she’s still unsure just how badly he’s hurt beyond what she can see with her own eyes. ‘ what do you need? ’ her tone is remarkably SOFT, despite the urge to berate him with questions. frankly, none of the details of what happened matter as long as he’s survived it. she understands the risk, and now simply isn’t the time. @ofgriffith

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first and foremost, i want to thank everyone and the admin team for putting together such a wonderful place to write! i had taken a hiatus from writing and this was the first place in a long, long time that i felt welcomed and appreciated so obviously it’s meant a lot to me for as long as i’ve been here. i am in the process of revamping an old blog into an indie ( of sorts bc it’s been....... a While ) but you can find me over there @emptygcds or feel free to ask for my d*scord! again, thanks for all the good times and the laughs and the pain; thank you for allowing me, a swamp demon with 0 talent, to write with all of you outrageously gifted writers. i wish you all the best of luck!

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tosinistolive‌:

           “And I’m not even surprised you agree with me, Myla.” If anything, the two women were more than often on the same page - regarding everything, which was always fun and meant just one more partner in crime. “Aww, you poor, poor thing,” said through a fake, concerned voice, a smile quickly found a way to Nika’s lips. “Now, do tell me what were you really doing, because knowing you, that had to be fun.”

         ❛  You mean you don’t believe me?  ❜ Myla raised an eyebrow, her expression a mockery of offense. She didn’t keep up with the charade, however, and it showed in the way her lips moved into a smirk. ❛  I went to visit an old friend. And by ‘friend’ I mean I met up with a booty call.  ❜

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tosinistolive‌:

                  “Well, considering I will turn forty one this year, it’s about time for me to get a bit…” Lara took a small pause trying to figure out the right word to use, “loose,” and her choice ultimately ended with Lara laughing at it, because she remembered how often that would be heard coming from her mother in Lara’s forming years. “Though, please, we aren’t here to just talk about me going wild,” the brunette softly smiled, “tell me, Vera, how are you? How is Axel?” One of the reasons of coming back to Valdez was to have more time, to be able to catch a dinner or two with her friends, to actually be able to talk to them and to listen to them.

         ❛  Well, best of luck to you in your future endeavors. Just.. Don’t forget the gut thing --- I mean that.  ❜ The amused smile on her face remained as she raised her glass in a faux cheers before taking a sip. ❛  Oh, Axe is Axe.  ❜ Vera waved a hand. ❛  He’s been only a little passive-aggressive about my moving out.  ❜ She paused. ❛  Okay, less aggressive, more pouty --- but beyond that, he’s fine. As for me, I’m..  ❜ She bobbed her head from side to side, as if she had changed in the slightest since the last time she and Lara had time together. Finally, she smiled and shrugged. ❛  The same as I’ve always been.  ❜

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scavages‌:

onyx raised an eyebrow still on the clock and signed, “i told him i get off in five. we can go then. and throw in fifty bucks and a meal and you got yourself a stripper.” she replied pursing her lips. “but i get it if i don’t show he’ll think i stood him up and be on edge. got it.” she smiled leaning against the girl. “just remind me i’m your favourite stripper here.” she laughed. 

❛  i’ll give you a hundred and you can pick the restaurant.  ❜ maren winked in jest. ❛  but just remember it’s late and the only things open are fast food and the diner so your choices are slim.  ❜ she leaned across to peck the stripper on her cheek. ❛  you’re my favorite stripper.  ❜ maren stood from her seat and picked up the coat draped across the counter to throw across her shoulders. ❛  i’ll go warm the car up. i’m parked right out front --- hard to miss. you can meet me there while you finish up.  ❜

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scavages‌:

“fine fine, whatever you say.” he held his hands up in defeat as he sat back in the familiar chair. odin rolled his eyes and sighed crossing his arms over his chest, “no, little pig squealed right out of me. ran like a little bitch though.” he answered her question honestly and with detail, something he’s been working on. “right, well that’s good. i’m a good actor. we got this then right?” he smirked. “alright then beautiful. what are our next steps?” 

❛  that’s.. maybe don’t say things like that on the stand, yeah?  ❜ she suggested with a raised eyebrow. ❛  we just need to make it sound convincing, which is gonna be tough considering you a. ---  ❜ she lifted a finger, ticking off the reasons. ❛  --- were intoxicated. b. don’t really remember much because you were intoxicated. and c. you don’t really give off an innocent man vibe. what it all boils down to is a realistic motive. what could this man have done or said to provoke you into literally stabbing him with the nearest utensil you could find?  ❜

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lllvllls‌:

gilly’s expression is a stark contrast of maren’s as his lips stretch into a bright, wide grin that reaches their eyes. they would never get bored of surprising strangers, especially maren, but tonight they’re happy to see her for other reasons. “nuh-uh,” gilly shakes their head from the ground. she almost looks as tall as the tree they’re lying on. “you gotta come closer, maren. this is top secret. i can’t risk anyone overhearing.”

maren rolls her eyes at them, but she takes a few cautious steps closer. close enough that they can whisper, if they even know how to speak in a low voice in such a state. she isn’t sure what they’re on, but she can only imagine. they’re on the ground so she kneels in front of them. ❛  alright, this is as close as i’m getting because you’re being weird so come on --- spill.  ❜

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scavages‌:

onyx rolled her eyes nudging her stomach with her elbow. “piss off.” she chuckled. she continued to dance her fingers across her neck, having hated being dirty and doing other people’s dirty work for them, but she was a kind soul at heart. “hm, i believe so. offered him a party after i get off my shift.” she replied turning and meeting the other woman’s eyes. 

❛  then you’ll need to ride with me.  ❜ maren set her glass on the bar, her tone serious. ❛  he’s smarter than he looks, i promise. filthy, but smart --- the worst kind.  ❜ she sneered. ❛  if he shows and you don’t, he’ll know something’s up so how much is it gonna take for you to keep up this charade for me?  ❜

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tosinistolive‌:

            Vera was one of the rare people in Valdez with whom Lara could speak on a different level, knowing that Vera would understand every bit of it; from her business all the way to her private life. “When it comes to me, I’ve always been an over-thinker,” Lara softly smiled, “an over-thinker and an over-achiever, though perhaps in high school I was a bit reckless, but I have always known what I want, Vera, and what was I supposed to do to get it. There was no place for recklessness, no place for a spur of a moment, though,” she looked aside to nowhere in particular as she went through her recent decisions, “perhaps I’ve decided to change that. I’ve always followed my gut, but now I’m turning more to the matters of what I want in that moment.” 

         Vera nodded her head in understanding. She and Lara were similar in more than a few ways, and she resonated with some of what the brunette said. She could not afford to be as reckless as she had been in the past, and it had hurt her more times than she could count. But it was all with one goal in mind --- To get what she needs to succeed. ❛  I would encourage you to continue following your gut. It will save your life.  ❜ She smiled after her words, but she meant them. ❛  But I don’t see any harm in being a little spontaneous --- as long as you feel it’s right. That’s the important thing.  ❜

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scavages‌:

“please, i insist.: he urged her not wanting to be of any troubles. odin eyed her body from across the desk wanting so badly to flip her over on it and plant his seed in her, but that would be forbidden, as vera is an impossible woman. “ah the steak knife. i unfortunately don’t recall much of that scene, alcohol and all, but it must have been a sloppy job if i am here right now.” he sighed sinking in his chair. 

❛  and i insist that it’s not polite to eat in front of someone, especially if your company’s not eating. it’s fine.  ❜ again, vera waved her hand at him. ❛  i don’t have any appointments for another two hours --- plenty of time to eat once we’ve finished up here.  ❜ she laughed a little in reply to his final statements, nodding her head while she read over some of the paperwork. ❛  yes, it’s not your best work, but at least you didn’t kill the guy, right?  ❜ she cast him a glance as she set the file down, laying her palms flat to the desk. ❛  they rejected the settlement, but the good news is the witnesses have withdrawn their statements.  ❜ a professional way of saying they accepted a bribe. ❛  so the self defense argument stands a chance if we can rehearse it.  ❜

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bencvolentways‌:

Ferah catches the look from Vera and even though it’s been too long since the two of them talked like this, she would recognize that expression anytime, any day. She can’t help but laugh, tapping her mouth with the spoon, already thinking on the topic for far too long. “Alright.” She puts the spoon down and leans in again as if she’s about to let Vera in on a big secret. They were in her home and no one was around but the walls had a tendency of having ears. “Sometimes, I catch myself staring and he has a way of breaking my focus. I mean…I have eyes, V.” She bites her lip and nods at the question. “A lot better. It’s just a little crush anyway. Probably need to have my way with him to get it out of the way.” She smirks knowing well that it would never happy. It would be a cold day in hell if things ever went in that direction between them. “What about you? Is there someone out there that’s on your mind more often than not?” 

Vera chokes on her drink while she tries her best not to laugh and spew the wine everywhere, the back of her hand pressing firmly against her lips just to be safe. She and Ferah had different thoughts as far as sex and love went, but it was never something to fault the other on. In fact, Vera almost wishes she saw things like Ferah does. It seems a lot easier --- and perhaps more fun --- than how the blonde operates in her mind. ❛  Yeah, maybe --- Maybe you should have your way with him. But I somehow doubt you can go back to being his charge after you blur the lines with sex. It’s bound to complicate things. So maybe find yourself a suitable replacement before you take Rider for a ride.  ❜ Again, she makes the mistake of trying to drink just as the line of questioning is thrown back at her, but she somehow manages to swallow the tiniest sip with only minimal coughing. ❛  I.. You know, yeah.  ❜ She shrugs as she sets the glass aside. ❛  My mind is always focused on other people more than they should be so.. No surprise there.  ❜

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ofgriffith‌:

VULNERABILITY ISN’T A FEELING HE’S FAMILIAR WITH. a man with nothing to lose learns to fear very little– at least that’s how it’s been for most of his life leading up to a very recent, very impulsive decision to remain in valdez past its worth. and now, for the first time in a long, long time, griffith is faced with the desire to preserve. filled with a need to face all of his decisions with an extra level of consideration– not because of how the fallout may affect him. no, this isn’t for him at all. it’s too late for saving now, he knows, but maybe the fall isn’t all that bad. her hesitating touch is warm against his skin. he looks up at her, and god, he doesn’t stand a fucking chance, does he? he can only pray that she makes it hurt when she inevitably lets him go, if only to keep him from falling victim to the same indulgences ever again. the most minor of slip ups always have major fallouts, after all. he sits stone-still as she moves, but there’s a quickening of his pulse that he knows she could feel if she wanted, and temptation creeps over his shoulders to whisper tantalizingly in his ears. yet– he doesn’t give in, despite the blatant way hazel eyes have dropped to rosy lips. the slightest sparkle in her gaze should blare a blatant warning, but griffith realizes it too late, and only when she’s shoving the crumpled hat into his chest does he allow himself to relax. ‘ fucking hell, ’ he breathes through lips pulled taut into a smile that’s a mix between wry and amused. there need not be a war to know that he’s completely at her mercy; it’s no secret. ‘ that’s a cruel understatement, you know that, yeah? i’m far too innocent for your wicked games. ’

it is unfamiliar territory --- this, with him. for years, it has been a push and pull relationship, neither coming out stronger than the other but completely the same. in limbo with whatever emotions they can’t afford to face. but this is light and easy, something that they’ve only shared in small instances since their humble beginning. she can’t pinpoint the exact moment it changed between them though she vaguely remembers it took her a while to catch on. and all the damage since has bled them dry of each other. it makes her wonder where they would be right now if there hadn’t been more to the story. if he hadn’t kissed her that first time, if she hadn’t returned the favor --- they wouldn’t be standing this close, smiling and carrying on like there’s no chance this can blow up in both of their faces at any second. there were moments --- small ones that could have brought them closer if they weren’t so hellbent on proving something to the other. and there should be a voice in the back of her head, screaming that she is going to get hurt. that’s what everyone fears, isn’t it? but there is no fear here. not in this moment, at least. vera looks at him and she knows. some part of her has always known the truth of it all, but even as it’s staring her in the face, she can’t bring herself to voice it. not yet. ❛  oh, you are, huh? and here i thought you’d be up to the challenge.  ❜ she laughs through her words, but takes a step back, raising her hands in surrender so she won’t push her luck further. ❛  but alright --- no more wicked games from me.  ❜

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dadivosos‌:

            “ it is not like i had much choice in the matter. “ brow arched , “ you should be happy you met me — who knows how much longer i have. “ a bit of a bleak image , but would he be himself if he didn’t add it in ? head cocked slightly , “ did you also realize you had standards while shit faced ? a true epiphany. “ eyes rolled as he allowed his body to relax slightly , feeling the effects of the medicine he had taken earlier finally take over his body.  “ what do you consider non-robot behavior ? “ brow arched before rolling his eyes. “ you should not force feed something that tastes like literal sand. “ 

         ❛  i’m happy i met you. you and your relentless need to make it sound like you’re on your death bed at every moment, you dramatic bitch.  ❜ myla raised an eyebrow as she lifted a finger to gesture between the two of them. ❛  are we the same person? because it sounds like we’ve had the same eye-opening experiences far too often for it to be coincidence.  ❜ she gasped and sat upright. ❛  and maybe that’s why you detest poptarts so much --- because you actually love them as much as i do, and love and hate are cut from the same cloth, my guy. it’s easy to be confused,  ❜ she said with a shrug. ❛  well, okay, i don’t have a lot of feelings but i also have way too many feelings all at once so i’m definitely not a robot. so maybe you should act more like me? i’d consider my actions to be non-robot behavior. i’m the perfect example.  ❜

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dadivosos‌:

            shoulder rose in a slight shrug , “ i don’t know —- we shared many special times. “ lips curled slightly before taking a sip of the water before placing it on the bedside table once again.  he was glad tas had friends like myla , that despite her attitude they seemed genuine for better or for worse.  brows rose as she actually agreed , he told himself he wouldn’t try anything with myla — purposely put her in the friendzone but now , now he was not so sure.  he looked up at the ceiling as if thinking , “ i think i was twenty — getting head in a bathroom stall. and i’m not a robot i just act like one here because if i don’t people think they can fuck me over and feed me sugary yet awful squares of literal stucco. “

         ❛  well, check it out --- we got each other out of it, right? if it hadn’t been for tas, you wouldn’t have had the pleasure of meeting me nor being introduced to my overflowing snack cabinet. you came out a winner in this. i took a bit of an L though.  ❜ she hissed through her teeth, but a laugh followed shortly after to indicate no harm intended. ❛  getting head in a bathroom stall --- what an iconic moment to realize you’re pretty. i myself only realized it while giving head in a bathroom stall. a little different, but empowering nonetheless.  ❜ she winked. ❛  hey, what makes you think i’d fuck you over? i’m a true friend down to my core. i might consider selling you for a poptart, but only because you spend your days insulting me with your robot behavior and your disdain toward the second best snack there is in this world. maybe if you were a little nicer, i’d stop trying to force feed them to you. have you ever considered that?  ❜