Story Dump

The place to where I dump all my random stories that don't fit into any of my other blogs

[officialah]

♪ 99 Dead Balloons ♪

[i-am-alpha-two]

Not FAHC, but who wouldn’t want this on their dash? 

[i-am-alpha-two]

Tales from the LSPD - Case 348

A/N: If you haven’t read the rest of the series, you may want to check out the masterlist and start from the beginning to catch some of the running jokes of the series. MASTERLIST 

~~

Case Number: 348

Date: 3/18/15

Suspect: Michael Jones

Summary: Jones was brought in after the release of FAHC Member, Dooley. Still investigating the mugging in Downtown Los Santos. Officer Burns and Demarais will go through the whole crew until they find the culprit. Refer to video 31815J for interrogation.

The two usual officers entered the bleak interrogation room and took a seat across from the curly haired member of the FAHC. Said gang member was currently plucking the few remaining petals from the wilted flower that rested in the middle of the table. He only looked up when Officer Burns cleared his throat and placed a thick file and a cup of coffee on the desk. “Alright Mr. Jones, before we get started here, I have one question for you.” Michael quit tugging at the petals and let his hands fall to the tabletop as he looked at the officer with a bored expression. “Do you have anything you’re going to put on your head?”

Michael was taken aback and gave Officer Burns an odd look. “Uh, what the fuck?”

The officer seemed satisfied with Michael’s confusion and continued on. “No? Good, moving on then. Walk me through your entire day on March 16.”

Michael drummed his fingers against the cool tabletop while he thought back to two days ago. “Alright, well, let’s see. I woke up, ate some breakfast, hung out with my boi, ate some more, met up with the gang, the usual. Definitely didn’t blow any shit up. Nope. Not me.” The ginger’s eyes darted around the room, refusing to make eye contact with either officer.

Burnie’s eyes narrowed, and he leaned closer to his partner. “Demarais, do we have any open cases about anything being blown up recently?” he asked in a hushed tone.

Before the younger officer could answer, a booming voice came through their radios. “Officer Burns, we need you on a call, STAT.” Burnie let out a groan before responding to the call, letting them know he and his partner were on the way.

Officer Burns stood from the table and began walking toward the door to the interrogation room. “Alright, Demarais, come on.” His partner quickly stood and rushed to Burnie’s side. “Remind me to get someone on that whole blowing shit up thing.” Demarais nodded eagerly as he followed Burnie out of the room.

“Okay, but sir, where are we going?” Michael heard Demarais ask as the pair disappeared through the doorway.

“Don’t know.”

When nobody entered the room when the pair vanished, Michael was a little confused. He was used to being in here, and the officers of the LSPD knew not to leave him alone in a room. Especially after what happened last time. “Uh… Guys?” Michael called, waiting for some sort of response.

After a few moments of waiting for a response that he wasn’t going to get, Michael simply shrugged and pulled a small block of C4 from his pocket. He laid it on the table as he began carefully wiring up the explosive.

A couple minutes went by, and Michael was putting the finishing touches on his masterpiece when he heard Officer Burns’ voice echoing down the hall again. “Hang on, I forgot my coffee.” Michael peered out from where he was crouched under the table. Surely, it was obvious what he was doing with the wires strung all over the room leading to a small detonator. “What the fuck is going on here?!”

From where Michael crouched under the table, he gave Officer Burns a wide smirk. “Sup Officer.”

Closing Notes: Somehow, after almost blowing up the Depot, Jones was bailed out by none other than Jack Patillo. Side note, be sure to fire the idiot who is searching these guys, and under no circumstances is Michael Jones to be left alone. EVER.

[i-am-alpha-two]

Tales from the LSPD - Case 317

Case Number: 317

Date: 3/17/15

Suspect: Jeremy Dooley

Summary: Officer Burns and Officer Demarais are investigating a mugging in downtown Los Santos. Leads pointed to Dooley of the FAHC. Refer to video 31715D to view interrogation. 

Jeremy glanced around the barren room, not used to being brought in by the police. Despite his involvement with the Crew, he surprisingly hadn’t spent much time with the police. He rubbed his hands together under the table and watched as a single pink petal fell from the wilted plant that sat directly in front of him. The sudden sound of a folder slamming against the table across from him snapped Jeremy’s attention to the officers that now sat before him.

The older man sighed and flipped the folder open. “Dooley,” he began, “You know, I’m honestly sad to see you in here.” The man looked up and Jeremy finally got a good look at his face. He was being interviewed by Burnie Burns, an old family friend. This was either going to go really well or really poorly for Jeremy. “You always seemed like you had your head on straight, but then you went and got mixed up with the Fakes.” Burnie shook his head somberly and grabbed a pen, poising it over the folder. “Let’s just get this over with. Walk me through your day yesterday.”

Jeremy nodded and mulled over the events of yesterday in his head. “Alright, so yesterday, I woke up, and–” Jeremy’s voice was drowned out by a rustling noise coming from under the table. Both officers looked at each other in confusion as Jeremy peered under the table. The pair watched as the criminal pulled out a brown paper bag and placed it over his head. “I was feeling pretty good yesterday.” The two officers were dumbstruck as they stared at the smiling face of none other than Gavin Free.

Officer Burn’s hand raked over his face in agitation. “What. What are you doing Dooley?”

Jeremy cocked his head to the side, and all the officers could see was a slight tilt to the bag. Gavin’s face was still beaming back at them. “What do you mean? I’m telling you about my day like you asked,” Jeremy’s muffled voice came from inside the bag.

“Well, what’s with the bag?” Through the rustling and sound of his breathing echoing in the steamy paper bag, Jeremy could hear the annoyance in the officer’s voice.

“Oh. That. This is just something from my bag of emotions.”

“You’re fucking kidding me, right?”

Smirking behind the thin veil of paper, Jeremy continued on with his tale. “Nope. So, as I was saying, I was feeling pretty good, but then I had to go to the store to get groceries. When I got there, this crazy old lady starting yelling at me.” Jeremy finally lifted the bag with Gavin’s face from his head and dropped it to the floor. There was another rustling sound, and to the officers’ dismay, there was another bag over his head in seconds. “I was pretty mad about that.”

Officer Burn’s expression went dark as he caught sight of the face on the new bag. His partner on the other hand was intrigued. He glanced back and forth between Jeremy and the now fuming officer. “Oh, hey look Burnie, it’s your face,” Demarais said, pointing at the mirror image of Burnie’s current expression. “Wow, it really looks like you.”

“Demarais,” Burnie warned, his tone low. “How the fuck did you get that, Dooley?”

There was a rustling sound beneath the table again as Jeremy sifted through his emotions. “Oh, this?” he asked, pulling the bag with Burnie’s face off his head before replacing it with a new one.

“What now?” Burnie asked, exasperated as he was staring back at the pondering face of Jack Patillo.

Jeremy crossed his arms. “I’m thinking.”

Burnie let out an annoyed sigh and stood from his chair. “We’ll finish this later.” He stormed out of the room with Demarais hot on his heels. “Someone take those goddamn bags from him!” Burnie’s voice echoed down the hall and into the interrogation room.

“Yeah, make him emotionless!”

“Shut up Demarais!”

Back in the interrogation room, Jeremy pulled off the bag with Jack’s face and replaced it with a pouting Ryan.

Closing Notes: Dooley was later bailed out by Jack Patillo. Upon release, his emotions were returned to him. Next time Dooley is in custody, receiving officer must check for his “Bag of Emotions” and confiscate immediately.

[i-am-alpha-two]

Tales From the LSPD - Case 247

A/N: After finding this post  by @anarchetypal I couldn’t resist making a small series about the woes of the LSPD dealing with the pain in the ass FAHC. This is only the first of the series. There’s many more to come.

~~~

Case Number: 247

Date: 2/5/15

Suspect: Ryan Haywood

Summary: Yet another robbery on the Maze Bank. Leads pointed us in the direction of the FAHC. Haywood in particular. Please refer to video: 20515H to view interrogation.

 ~

Three men sat around a rectangular table nestled inside a bleak looking room. The only color in the entire room was a single, pink orchid that was placed in the center of the table. There was a large window that took up the wall with the only door in and out of the room. The man who sat on the side by himself drummed his fingers lightly on the table top while the other two conversed quietly. From their blue uniforms, it was obvious they were cops, and the man across from the table was about to be in some deep shit.

Finally, the older looking cop placed his file down on the tabletop and folded his hands across it. “Alright Haywood. You know the drill at this point. We’ve just got some questions for you,” he said, his voice dripping authority. Haywood obviously wanted nothing to do with the officer, and simply stared at the pink petals that were drooping sadly before him. “So, care to tell us what you were doing at approximately 7:16 tonight?”

A look of annoyance crossed Ryan’s face, and the younger cop looked a little uneasy. His hand moved to rest above his baton as Ryan reached across the table, shifting the orchid closer to himself. “7:16?” Ryan’s fingers delicately examined the wilting plant as he seemed to mull over his answer. “Let’s see, at 7:16 exactly, I was properly tending to my plants. Obviously neither of you would understand that.”

The older officer was thoroughly confused at the words. “But we have witnesses … Wait. Tending to plants?”

“Of course,” Ryan replied, fixing the pair across from him with an even stare. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go try to revive this poor Orchid you two have managed to thoroughly neglect.” Ryan scooped the potted plant into his arms and began to stand.

“Hey!” the older officer shouted, his hand on his baton. “Sit down. We aren’t done here yet.” With a sigh, Ryan fell back into his chair and set the potted plant back onto the table. “Alright, now we’re getting somewhere.” The man leaned back in his chair and glanced at Ryan menacingly, or at least, that’s what he thought. “So, 7:16, you were … tending to your plants. Is that correct?”

Crossing his arms across his chest, Ryan gave the pair of officers a deadpan look. “Yes, that’s correct as I know how to properly care for a living, breathing organism unlike you two. I mean seriously,” Ryan began rambling, poking his finger into the bone-dry dirt filling the pot. “The dirt isn’t even moist, and you had this plant sitting in a Northwest corner of the room. It’s not like that matters though seeing as there’s not a single goddamn window in this room, you fools.”

The younger, dark haired officer looked to his superior, obviously confused. “O-Officer Burns?”

Officer Burns leaned forward, shaking his head. He stood from his chair and signaled his partner to do the same. The younger officer skittered out of the interrogation room first and Officer Burns sauntered out behind him. Before the door shut, Ryan could hear Officer Burns muttering to the guards outside the room. “Take him to his cell. We’ll question him again later when he’s … complacent.”

Ryan glared from where he sat at the table still, hugging the plant against his chest. “Wait. Before you take me, might I make a suggestion?” When he didn’t get a reply, Ryan continued on. “If you’re going to have a plant, just get a fucking cactus.”

Closing Notes: Haywood was later bailed out by Jack Patillo. No charges were filed, and the Orchid was watered and is to remain in the interrogation room until further notice.

[max-eucliffe-jones]

I love ur header because York is amazing and Maine just is wtf and agh

Aw, thanks. And you're right, York is definitely amazing

[max-eucliffe-jones]

I think it's time for me to crawl back under a rock and leave social media behind again. All I want to do is log onto a site and look at funny and creative Fandom based posts. I don't want to have politics and the likes crammed down my throat. I deal with that enough during daily life because the world feels the need to impose their beliefs onto those who don't give a fuck what others think. Especially considering I believe in some things that go against the vocal part of society. Heaven forbid I have a different opinion than someone else. So yeah, fuck this, I'm out until all this shit blows over. Can't wait until the Hillary versus Trump war is over. You may see occasional posts from me, but I won't be browsing like I used to. Until next time, peace guys.

[max-eucliffe-jones]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Chapters: 1/?

Summary: When a new Agent joins Project Freelancer late, she manages to catch everyone's eye. To be honest, that's the last thing she wants. Alaska just wants to be left alone, to hide her tainted past. She finds herself unable to do so when she meets a particularly odd team member who hides behind his grey and yellow helmet. Just as everything seems to be looking up for her, Alaska's world is shattered and she's sent to Blood Gulch on a top secret mission that was bound to fail.

[rootbeerflotsam]

My Patreon, aka, a good time for my third Tumblr giveaway!

Guys. I hope you’ve enjoyed some of the writing I’ve done for Rooster Teeth recently. Ahem. I’m hoping there will be more things like that, but in the mean time, I have launched a Patreon to help me out a bit as I make my some of my own content. Which I hope you will like.

So, yo. Here’s my Patreon link.

https://www.patreon.com/shannonmccormick

Now, to help me get the word out, and to say thanks in advance to all of you, my lovely followers, I figured it was time to do another Tumblr giveaway! My third!

OK, so here we go!

First place:

I CANNOT TRANSPORT YOU TO AUSTIN, but I will take care of your RTX 2017 3-day pass if you can make it. Get your ass to Austin, I’ll have a pass waiting for you. (If you win first and can’t come this year, you will earn an infinite rain check until such time as you can make it!)

Second place:

Signed Blu-Ray/DVD combo pack of Red vs. Blue, Season 14 (I wrote a couple of these episodes, don’t you know!)

When I say signed, I mean I will get them autographed not just by me, but by relevant people in the Rooster Teeth office. 

Third place:

Autographed copy of my art book,  Presidential Losers.

If you don’t know, this is is coffee table book I had published of an art show I curated a couple of years ago—it’s a portrait gallery of everyone who ever lost an American Presidential election.

I don’t have many of these left, and they won’t be reprinted, so they could become something of a collectible.

The entries:

Must be following me to win

Reblog or like this post to enter

Follow presidentiallosers and/or escapefromteddybearprison on Tumblr for 1 extra entry each

Become a patron on my Patreon for 2 extra entries each.

The rules:

Contest runs from October 3 through October 15

Open internationally to entrants over the age of 13

I will make announcements about winners on Sunday, October 16 and will do my best to get stuff to you by at least November, 2016. (RTX pass aside, which will be delivered summer of 2017)

[max-eucliffe-jones]

The view as I work on a story that will hopefully be out soon

[max-eucliffe-jones]

Ohio just wants to be one of the cool kids.

[max-eucliffe-jones]

I just want to say, holy shit. You guys are the best. Just got home from a killer workout and wanted to crawl in a hole and sleep for three weeks. But I decided to check my notes real quick before bed. I can't believe that video I made of PFL Friends blew up like it did. You guys made my night so much better <3

[max-eucliffe-jones]

Well. I was going to work on my York request and start a wash x reader series but it seems like some fireball got in the way of my progress....shit.

[max-eucliffe-jones]

So this is how I’ve spent my afternoon.. I mean, day well spent? 

Sorrynotsorry.

[max-eucliffe-jones]

tfw u think youve escaped the extreme rvb feelz n then somone frm the awesome sauce neato burrito community drops a fucking bombshell. im c r y i n g my frend. you! have! broke! me!

I swear I didn't mean to break you! I'm sorryyy :c

[max-eucliffe-jones]

A tribute to Agents North and South

[max-eucliffe-jones]

Writing my Agent York request with my favorite new mug... Of all time.