How do you start off talking to these guys on sa? Like what sort of things would you talk about in the first few messages? I feel like I can't talk to them like an actual human being. I have lost a couple guys in the first couple messages (guys who messaged me first). I know they would want me if they saw my picture but I'm not even making it to a stage where I would feel comfortable showing them a picture.
hey hey! so, this is a question I get a lot in private messages. And it’s honestly something that confuses me, and perplexes me as to how girls think that they can make it sugaring if they don’t know how to converse with someone. The whole game of sugaring is talking!!!! You need to know how to talk yourself up, talk a guy into thinking you care about what he’s saying, charm a man into giving you whatever you want. All sugaring is is talking. If you can’t talk… this isn’t for you. It may sound harsh, but it’s the truth. I understand being nervous on a first meet, but online? You don’t even have to see him face to face! You can type whatever you want to and that’s that. He doesn’t know your facial expression, your hesitance as you type, how long it takes you to think of what to say. All right… rant over.
How to talk to men on sugaring websites 101 will now commence:
A. He sends: “Hi I’m a blah blah blah working in blah city blah blah. I’m looking for a smart, fun, adventurous girl to go to nice dinners with me. Your profile caught my eye when you said blah blah blah. Message me back if you’re interested.
By the way my name is blah blah blah”
B. You send: “Hi, your profile really caught my eye so I thought I’d message you :) I’m a university student majoring in blah blah blah, I’m looking for blah blah mutually beneficial blah blah.
I look forward to hearing back from you and learning more about you :)”
ALL RIGHT! Read his first message. See what he’s looking for. If it even closely lines up with what you want, message him back. It doesn’t matter if he copy and pasted… reply! See what he’s about.
2. Initial conversation: The initial conversation is ridiculously important. If you type a basic, boring message out…. imagine how many of those he gets a day. Differentiate yourself! Make yourself look fun and interested in him. I always get made fun of by my friends for the way I type and text, but men LOVE it. Be enthusiastic! Show your best self. Typing is a shitty way of showing yourself, so try and type the way you would chat! I use hyperboles, adjectives, exclamation points, and adverbs like it’s my job. It makes me look happy to be chatting with him.
Replying: “Hi, XYZ, thanks so much for your message :) Enjoy my (cyber) applause for actually typing a personalized message out to me instead of just copying and pasting! That always makes me feel a bit special.
You’re into musicals? I’m currently studying the blueprints of the Richard Rodgers Theatre so I can sneak in to see Hamilton… if you’d like to join, just let me know! I can’t promise that we won’t get arrested, but you’ll definitely have an adventure like you said you were interested in :)
But really, about me, as you asked: I’m a college student, majoring in XYZ, and my dream job is XYZ. I’m looking for an arrangement similar to the one you described; good food, great conversation, and hopefully helping you forget about your busy life, if only for the night.
I’d love to get to know a bit more about you, I look forward to hearing back from you :)
That. Is. So. Easy!!!! Read what he talks about, reply to it, tell him what you’re looking for. Boom. Sound fun, sound intelligent, sound silly. These men have ridiculously busy lives, make them laugh and think you’re youthful and fun and can remove them from their stress for a few hours. That’s what they all want.
3. Moving forward: You’ve talked about each other, you’re dancing around it. Ask him for his number or email so you can take the conversation off of SA and you can set up a meeting. A lot of men are nervous to do that, so they’re waiting for you to ask. SO ASK! You’re in the position of power in these relationships. They have money, but you have the beauty, brains, fun, and conversation. He needs YOU, you don’t need him. Remember that. The ball is always in your court. Always.
So start texting him, ask about meeting up.
Something that worries me in this is that you said you don’t see him as a human. That is not something that sugaring is about. That’s not how you want to go about this, and if you do, honestly… sugaring isn’t for you. There are a lot of really great men on these sites. Sure, some of them are rats, but so are college boys. They’re looking for someone, for the most part, to talk to them as if they’re a human being and not another member of their company or an important executive who they want to impress. They want normal conversation, so give it to them! Being mean and aloof will get you nowhere. Some girls are about that, and that’s good for them. That works for some people, but if you’re asking me for my advice, then I’ll tell you to be so nice and so personable. Make them feel good. Make their hearts warm when you speak with them. Make them long for your conversation and compliments. Be a good person, that’s how you get the money and the decent sugar daddies. They can see through your bullshit, just like you can see theirs.
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