this is a pro-helmet blog

I definitely survived Hoth don't worry about it General Veers RP Parody Account

[max-veers]

Hello Holonet,

It appears I have been sucked into this strange dimension of “memes” (which are not pronounced as “me-mes”, I have been told. Several times, in fact)

If you have any information on how I might escape or if anyone other than my son could tell me how to tumble correctly, I would appreciate it. Otherwise, I will continue to monitor intelligence reports and may occasionally post my thoughts on the latest updates we have made to the AT-ATs.

Is this the part where I tell you to “like, comment, and subscribe?”

[a quick note from the General’s Aide]

This blog is meant to be lighthearted and silly, and doesn’t subscribe to any particular canon. I’m planning on leaning more into “confused dad learns the internet” and less into “wider galactic politics”

Posting will be random as I get to it

If I think of anything else important, I’ll add it here as well.

[ask-sad-ghost-piett]

Imperial protein cubes are a great meal with maximum convenience. Do not believe the Rebel Scum propaganda. I ate them every other day for dinner.

[mistress-of-the-empire]

Dear admiral....

Please stop lying to the new recruits...

We all know protein cubs suck and they are only a stable because they keep for a long time, don't take up to much space and most can safely eat them.

[ask-sad-ghost-piett]

You evidently have not tried the caf mocha flavor.

[max-veers]

@spacialshrimp sent me a lovely hammer with which to smash rebel snowspeeders, and I welcome both it and them with open arms

Those tow cables won’t stand a chance now that it’s HAMMER TIME

[from the General’s Aide]

Thank you for your message @spacialshrimp and for letting me play with your hammer shrimp

[thistechnologicalterror]

I HAVE BEEN INFORMED THAT TODAY, IS THE DAY OF FOOLS, FOR THE PLANET "DIRT".

( YOU... HAVE SO MANY THAT THEY NEEDED A HOLY DAY? YOUR PLANET IS QUITE STRANGE. )

I ADVISE CAUTION, DO NO HARM, TAKE NO INSULT AND LEAVE NO DOUBT, AND... HAVE A MERRY FOOL'S DAY.

REMEMBER TO ASK YOURSELF...

WHO IS THE MORE FOOLISH, THE FOOL OR THE FOOL WHO FOLLOWS HIM.

[max-veers]

*boop*

[max-veers]

I appear to be under siege

[ask-sad-ghost-piett]

General Veers and Admiral Piett inspect Rebel contraband. These eggs are certainly not COMPNOR regulation.

They load the contraband onto their speeder for further inspection.

[ask-sad-ghost-piett]

Did you know, Lord Vader has committed war crimes? Even before he became a sith?

I never had time to dwell on Lord Vader's past. It took all my focus simply to survive under his command, day by day.

And frankly, I am still rather confused by what a Sith is.

-Admiral Piett

[max-veers]

Aren’t Sith the musicians in that bar on Tatooine?

[ask-sad-ghost-piett]

I would not know. It seems more legit than the definition I got from Admiral Motti.

[max-veers]

Anything is more trustworthy than information from Admiral Motti.

[ask-sad-ghost-piett]

Did you know, Lord Vader has committed war crimes? Even before he became a sith?

I never had time to dwell on Lord Vader's past. It took all my focus simply to survive under his command, day by day.

And frankly, I am still rather confused by what a Sith is.

-Admiral Piett

[max-veers]

Aren’t Sith the musicians in that bar on Tatooine?

[ask-sad-ghost-piett]

Happy birthday to the incomparable General Veers!

- Admiral Piett

(OOC: Happy 89th birthday to Julian Glover!)

[max-veers]

[ask-sad-ghost-piett]

Feeling vengeful. Going to haunt an AT-AT with General Veers. Might delete later.

[max-veers]

Does it still count as “haunting” if it’s more like “holoflix and chill” as the kids say?

[ask-sad-ghost-piett]

Maybe if it’s a short holoflix film and if we get done with the haunting early?

P.S. I believe @thistechnologicalterror’s puns rather speak to my point as to the pronunciation of certain Imperial technology.

[max-veers]

And yet, as far as I’m aware, neither of you are seen as the definitive Galactic Authority on Armpured Transports.

[ask-sad-ghost-piett]

Feeling vengeful. Going to haunt an AT-AT with General Veers. Might delete later.

[max-veers]

Does it still count as “haunting” if it’s more like “holoflix and chill” as the kids say?

[ask-sad-ghost-piett]

General Veers is dubious of Admiral Piett’s speeder bike. He claims the absence of the left steering handle makes it unsafe. Piett disagrees. He’s been flying this speeder bike for 30 years and isn’t about to send his faithful vessel to the trash compactor.

[ask-sad-ghost-piett]

Wanting to make up for the frequent Force choking and show that Piett is still his favorite admiral, Lord Vader seeks a gift.

He gets the largest pear he can find and presents it to Piett.

Unfortunately, the pear proves too much for Piett to handle.

General Veers rushes to rescue the Admiral.

Piett finds he likes the pear a little better in sliced form. He still isn’t very fond of it though.

[max-veers]

I've delivered the six pints of ice cream to the freezer in Blizzard 1. When will you be picking up Lieutenant Venka? - @ask-sad-ghost-piett

Next time I’m up on the Bridge I’ll pick him up - does he have a helmet, or will we have to issue him one?

[ask-sad-ghost-piett]

He does not have a helmet as far as I know. He also is not very accustomed to going outdoors, so you may want to introduce him to plants slowly.

[max-veers]

I believe our next scheduled mission is on a desert world, so being unfamiliar with plants won’t be an issue.

You don’t happen to know his marksmanship scores or his latest fitness test results, do you?

[max-veers]

I've delivered the six pints of ice cream to the freezer in Blizzard 1. When will you be picking up Lieutenant Venka? - @ask-sad-ghost-piett

Next time I’m up on the Bridge I’ll pick him up - does he have a helmet, or will we have to issue him one?

[ask-sad-ghost-piett]

Enlistment quotas are hard

I'm running out of ideas

Offer them free Fluorescent Ice Cream. It works every time.

-Admiral Piett

[max-veers]

Fluorescent Ice Cream, you say

[ask-sad-ghost-piett]

Unfortunately, I’ve been told that it is only for new recruits as the radioactivity is at a level that it is only safe for once in a lifetime consumption.

I did fetch you a pint of double chocolate marshmallow ice cream however which is in the freezer.

I would be inclined to fetch another if the army would adopt Lt. Venka.

[max-veers]

… theoretically, there is an amount of double chocolate marshmallow ice cream that would get me to consider your offer, but I assure you, it is not two pints.

[ask-sad-ghost-piett]

Four pints then.

[max-veers]

… Tempting.

But you would have to ensure @asking-for-apologies never finds out I intend to eat them all in one sitting

[asking-for-apologies]

General Veers, did you realize you tagged me on this post?

[max-veers]

… Can I ask interest you in another officer for your ship, Captain?

[asking-for-apologies]

No, thank you.

[max-veers]

Then would I be able to convince you to turn a blind eye to my accepting five pints of double chocolate marshmallow ice cream to get him out of Piett’s hair?

[asking-for-apologies]

I don't know if Lt. Venka would be suited for the army, General, any more than five pints of ice cream are suitable nutrition for human.

[max-veers]

I also don’t believe he would be particularly suited to serving in the Army, Captain. However, I can’t imagine he is thriving in his current position, considering Admiral Piett’s opinions on him, and there are few things I would not consider for six pints of ice cream.

[ask-sad-ghost-piett]

Enlistment quotas are hard

I'm running out of ideas

Offer them free Fluorescent Ice Cream. It works every time.

-Admiral Piett

[max-veers]

Fluorescent Ice Cream, you say

[ask-sad-ghost-piett]

Unfortunately, I’ve been told that it is only for new recruits as the radioactivity is at a level that it is only safe for once in a lifetime consumption.

I did fetch you a pint of double chocolate marshmallow ice cream however which is in the freezer.

I would be inclined to fetch another if the army would adopt Lt. Venka.

[max-veers]

… theoretically, there is an amount of double chocolate marshmallow ice cream that would get me to consider your offer, but I assure you, it is not two pints.

[ask-sad-ghost-piett]

Four pints then.

[max-veers]

… Tempting.

But you would have to ensure @asking-for-apologies never finds out I intend to eat them all in one sitting

[asking-for-apologies]

General Veers, did you realize you tagged me on this post?

[max-veers]

… Can I ask interest you in another officer for your ship, Captain?

[asking-for-apologies]

No, thank you.

[max-veers]

Then would I be able to convince you to turn a blind eye to my accepting five pints of double chocolate marshmallow ice cream to get him out of Piett’s hair?