People have discussed private stuff about me that I can't talk about with anyone else for years in different places and the thing is when you express that it is hurtful or negative the people who have such behaviours just don't get it. For example, one person said "but I didn't know it wasn't true". So what? If it had been true it's still not his to discuss with others. Even if it had come from me it wouldn't have been a thing to discuss with others. Another person said that by complaining about people discussing these things behind my back I was putting responsibility for something I don't even talk about on them. Like, somehow, me stating that it's not okay to discuss it is me forcing responsibility onto others for something others did, that they are therefore responsible for, because I don't talk about it myself? If someone else says things, they are responsible for it, I'm not the one running their mouths. Why are people even discussing things behind my back that they won't come and talk about with me in my face, anyway?
Like it's a minor detail of their lives discussing these private things about someone else without them, behind their backs. They were not hurt by it. It had already happened to me before and had major consequences on my life. It has very lasting consequences on people even just psychologically. The thing is in the last context where it happened I had tried to prevent it from happening by openly talking about it having happened previously and me not liking it. (Ironically, I went to the place where it happened hoping to find people who had lived the same thing, not... hoping to go through it again...)
I had tried to leave, set boundaries multiple times, say I wasn't okay with it happening or having happened. It still happened. I'm still dealing with the consequences of the first time it happened, too, they have not been fixed. People talk and you deal with the consequences while they go about their lives. I'm not sure where or with whom to discuss the consequences or how to fix them. What I'm doing now is trying to move forward "with" the consequences and trying to be okay with them, and maybe fix them in small ways later.
If anything, when a person does not talk about a private aspect of their lives, others discussing it without them behind their back is MORE hurtful, not less, than it would be if they had ever discussed it themselves. Even if the people spreading these informations and rumours were spreading truth, it's still my story to tell, not theirs.
dailybridgerton
titsay
dededos
germansingergirl
jacobvanloon
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ellievsbear
