Worst Places to Jerk Off in Skyrim
In no particular order, as they are all shit in their own ways :P
Unless you are a vampire or werewolf then you are getting all the diseases. And if you are a vampire, don't do that to the food??? Unless, you're into that 😏
I don't even need to say why, y'all already know. If you are so inclined (I'm not kink shaming I'm kink asking why) go to the one in Castle Volkihar at least. Don't do it in Markarth my guy
3. The Dwemer Lockbox at Septimus Signus's Outpost
Okay, this might just be me but it would be impossible to have a good time inside a giant Dwemer mechanism with Hermaeus Mora lurking around. HOWEVER, I am aware I am posting this on tesblr on monsterfucker.com so if you are an enjoyer of tentacles than this may be a top spot. You do you bestie, have fun becoming a Seeker someday <3
4. The Chantry of Auri-El
Gelebor has been through enough
You probably don't want to anyways
6. Inside Tel Mithryn with Neloth is there
This also has the caveat as some of you (including myself to an extent) are into Neloth. That said, I feel like he would absolutely destroy you with insults that even if he didn't ban you you'd never come back
Wahoooo second Markarth location! Incredibly depressing, would not be a good vibe
Also cold but more importantly, Arondil has major issues. The room of dead women, the contents of his journals NOPE I am kinkshaming him
10. The Butcher's murder room in Hjerim
Let's offer the dead some peace since we cannot bring the killer to justice as the quest is always broken!!!
Feel free to add your own picks, we could also do a list of the best places ;)
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