Max Wolf Revolutions

My very own tribute to “Christian Humber Reloaded”, the best fanfiction ever made.

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Meh.

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ANOTHER SETH ROGEN COMEDY

(A filler chapter)

Seth Rogen farted and then said a lot of profanities. Then he smoked a lot of drugs, and said more profanities, and he was involved in many homoerotic situations with other guys, who also smoked drugs, and then Seth Rogen and his friends said more profanities and smoked more drugs.

There was also a romantic subplot with an attractive blonde character, and the romantic subplot also involved many profanities and drugs.

(End of filler chapter)

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THE LAST FUCKING CHAPTER 33 fucking years later, after my daily killing of ponies, I met some strange hunter who also a wizard. That idiot said that he wanted to kill me in order to avenge all the ponies I killed. I laughed at him, but then I noticed there was something familiar on him. “Do you like ponies? “I asked him with a psycho smile on my face. “I love ponies so much that I would marry with one, as my ancestor Clawdorf did 33 years ago!” that idiot replied me and I instantly knew that he was the reincarnation of Clawdorf. Finally I got the chance to kill him! “Okay, bitch…” I replied him…”Get ready, because now you are going to be killed by the FUCKING AWESOME MAX WOLF REVOLUTIONS!” And after I said those words, I jumped over that wizard who was the reincarnation of Clawdorf in order to kill him as I always wanted since the day I met him. FUCKING STORY OVER “Snake and Loopin were in da middle of da empty hall, doin it, and Dobby was watching!1” Tara Gilesbie, My Immortal

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BECOMING A POKÉMON ONCE AGAIN Two weeks later, the god of magic appeared to me once again, as he promised.  “Do you found a way in which I could be spared from the burden of becoming the king of the wizard planet?” I asked him. “Yes,” he replied me. “There is a way, but you must to give up permanently your human form and transform into a Pokémon once again, because the wizard law doesn´t allow Pokémons to be rulers of our people…” “Well, that´s kinda racist, but I accept that condition. After all, I wasn´t very fond of my human form anyway…” And in that way,  the god of magic transformed me into a Pokémon once again, but I was still FUCKING AWESOME. “Griffith will stay as your king…” I told the wizard people. “And fucking Harry Grimoire will be his right hand…” “What you will do now?” Griffith asked me. “I don´t know…I guess that I will live in the wilderness as I used to do in the planet where I came from. I will kill some ponies and monsters for fun, I guess…” “Will you visit us?” Xavier asked me. “Sure, why not.” I replied him. “Please, take care!” Amanda told me at the moment when I left the wizard city, ready to have many new adventures in that planet, which was still filled with so many monsters and ponies to kill.

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DAVE RETURNS TO HIS HOME PLANET Some days later, some weird spaceships landed on wizard planet, and we thought that an alien invasion was going to take place, so we get ready to fight. But it wasn´t an alien invasion: Those spaceships were actually from Blisstonia, the planet where Dave come from, and the aliens were his friends and family. There was also an alien called Zytar, who was the other father of Dave´s horrible children. “Yay!” one of those horrible reptilian children said. “We finally ahd another father, like every normal reptilian children of our species!” However, Dave had a mixture of feelings. From one side, he was happy to be reunited with his friends and family (and his lover) once again. But he also had to say goodbye to us, who were his friends during all this time.  It wasn´t easy for him, but he had to say goodbye to us.  “But before I left, I had a last request I want to make you, Max Wolf…” Dave told me in private and I asked him: “What is it?” and then he said that he wanted to have sex with me, in order to keep my genetic material inside of him as a memory of our adventures. “Okay, dude.” I replied him, and then we fucked, doing every kind of sexual act during at least 5 hours.  After that, Dave was satisfied and left the wizard planet along with his horrible reptilian children in order to return to Blisstonia. It was hard for me to say goodbye to him, because he was one of my best friends, but I was glad that he found his friends and family, and also I knew that he literally had a part of me inside of him, as he kept some of my semen in one of his weird alien organs.

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DARKBIND AND CERAH RETURN TO EARTH At the next day, during breakfast, Darkbind Sonichu simply couldn´t stop asking me when we were going tor return to earth because his bitch Zelina was still waiting for him in RuleCWC. I just punch him in the face, and then talked with my friends about what the god of magic said, but they didn´t believe me. “But that´s what happened!” I told angrily, and they said that the idea of a giant tiger being a god was too hard to believe. “However, if I had to wait in this planet, that won´t be so bad, because there are plenty of wizards and hot chicks here, and I think that could made me forget about Felicia…” fucking Harry Grimoire said. “I can´t stay in this planet!” Darkbind Sonichu said once again. “Zelina is still waiting for me in RuleCWC!” “You already said that at least 50000 times!” Hulk replied him. Hulk and his team also wanted to stay at wizard planet because the wizard people never judge them and treated them with respect, so they considered the possibility to stay in wizard planet. Only Cerah and Darkbind wanted to return to earth in order to accomplish their respective goals, so when the god of magic finally appeared during the afternoon, I told him to only make those two return to the earth since the others wanted to stay. “Well, if that is what they really want…” the god of magic said, before doing the spell which made Darkbind and Cerah return to earth, shortly after we said goodbye to them. Darkbind took the seven Sonichu balls with him, because that was a part of the promise we made him back then in RuleCWC, promising to keep them safe.

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AN UNEXPECTED APPARITION BY THE GOD OF MAGIC Shortly after the party, the god of magic and his friends appeared to me in my dreams (once again, against my will) They congratulate me for the victory against Diminox, but they also wanted their divine powers back, because they were tired to be adorable and cuddly animals, so I said: “Okay, then” and I gave them back their powers. That was enough for them to recover their original appearances and said: “Glad this shit is finally over.” The god of magic thanked me in a special manner, and I replied him that even when I was a FUCKING AWESOME dude, I wouldn´t have been able to defeat Diminox without the help of my father, my friends and fucking Harry Grimoire. “You have grown up a lot since we met for the first time…” the god of magic said. “It seems you will be a great king for the wizard planet…” “Yeah, about that…” I replied him. “I was wondering if there wasn´t any way in which I could be spared of being the king of the wizard planet, because, you know, I don´t care that much about that planet and I found it to be…kind lame and stupid. No offense…” “But you won the wizard tournament!” the god of magic replied me. “Is your obligation to fulfill your destiny as the king of wizard people!” “Come on!” I replied him. “Isn´t there any other choice? I mean…Griffith have been a great king during all the time I was absent…” “Oh well!” the god of magic said. “Just give me some time to solve that problem. See ya in two weeks!”  “Wait! There is something more I want to ask you!” I said. “What?”  “Won´t you return my friends and fucking Harry Grimoire to earth? After all, you brought them all along with me, without their consent…” “I´ll do it tomorrow, so you will have more time to say goodbye to them…” the god of magic answered me, and then he disappeared. After that I woke up.

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A CELEBRATION IN WIZARD CITY Once we were back at wizard city, Griffith and the other survivors received us with glee and joy, making that night a big celebration in our honor.  Everyone was happy for the defeat of Diminox/Abominox and I was so happy for our FUCKING AWESOME victory that I only killed a few ponies that night.

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THE RETURN (Back to Max Wolf´s Point-of-view) After our FUCKING INCREDIBLY victory against Abominox, my friends and I (and also fucking harry Grimoire) returned to the present, arriving to was left of Stonedhenge a few moments  before the portal which transported us 90000 years ago disappeared. “Another FUCKING AWESOME victory for Max Wolf!” I screamed triumphantly, and I wanted to high five my companions, but they just looked at me and said: “No thanks.” “Eh, Max…” She-Hulk and Dave told me. “We are sorry for what happened to your dad. We know you have been searching him since a long time, just for him to die in a very violent manner…” “Don´t worry for that.  A part of my dad will always be with me…” I replied them, since my dad transferred me his powers and his memories during the battle with Diminox, but  Dave and She-Hulk thought that what I said was some kind of corny metaphor. “Whatever…” I said, and then we used our powers to fly towards the wizard city, where Griffith and the others were waiting for us.

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ABOMINOX´S FUCKED UP DESTINY (Told from Abominox´s Point-of-view) Mwahahaha! What Max Wolf doesn´t know is that I, the great and invincible Abominox found a way to survive by putting a little (but still powerful) part of myself inside of another dimension... Mwahahaha! Um...This is strange…This dimension where I am now reminds me a lot that horrible interdimensional prison where the legendary seven Sonichu ball heroes put me 90000 years ago…And also…I now fell incredibly exhausted. Perhaps I will feel better after some sleep… I…I…I need to sleep some time. That will renew my energies…After all, it´s not like I am going to fall in some kind of Eternal Sleep…Like…It…happened…to…me…90000 …years…ago…

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RETURNING TO OUR TIME The people from the planets that were under attack were happy for surviving the attack of Abominox, and they wanted to celebrate with us. However, they were very confused and fucking Harry Grimoire tried to explain them the situation telling them that we were the legendary seven Sonichu ball heroes, and referred Abominox as Diminox, but before he could reveal them that we were from another time, another interdimensional portal was opened as a consequence of the energies unleashed in our last battle, and we realized that it was a gate back to our time, so we said goodbye to that people and returned to the present.

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THE FINAL BATTLE Abominox started then to attack many different planets, trying to destroy them in order to obtain more evil energy to fight against us, but we arrived just in time to fight against him, and combined our powers to destroy him. Abominox used all his evil powers against us; the shock of our energies created a cataclysm which was strong enough to destroy the entirety of the Universe, but then I assumed my ultimate form, fucking Super Mega Max Wolf Super God evolved mode: Under that form, I used my definitive technique, the fucking amazing super mega special Max Wolf Mega technique of annihilation of all evil, FUCK YEAH I AM SO AWESOME! which completely destroyed Diminox/Abominox. The battle was finally fucking over. And we won.

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ABOMINOX Abominox then screamed: “I won´t be defeated so easily!” and then used his evil energies to open an interdimensional portal which he used to escape. “We can´t let him to escape!” fucking Harry Grimoire said, and in that way we instantly followed our enemy across the Universe. That interdimensional portal was actually a gate to the past created with the evil energy from Abominox, which leaded to some place in the Universe 90000 years ago.

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AN ENDLESS FIGHT WITHOUT END I then used my powers against Diminox, hurting him badly to the point to make him to cry tears of blood. He then assumed a more powerful form which was way uglier but it defeated it anyway.   Diminox assumed then a third transformation which was slightly more humanoid (but still fucking ugly anyway) and our powers were on par at first, but then my friends and fucking Harry Grimoire joined and their desire to survive and their hopes for the future made them to reach their respective god mode forms. With our powers combined, we were able to make Diminox scream in pain as a lot of black blood started to come from inside his body, while he started to assume many different forms, each one of them uglier than the last. “NO, YOU WON´T DEFEAT ME!!! I WILL DESTROY YOU!” Diminox screamed as he telepathically ordered his servants from different parts of the Universe to return him the power he granted them in the past, and that made all of them explode. That day, all the reptilian wizards, all the Vere Celen dragon and all the reptilians disguised as humans exploded, flooding the streets with their blood and organs, much to the horror of people everywhere.  However, even after Diminox reunited all that evil energy he was still unable to defeat us, and after receiving our combined attack for a long time, he was forced to reveal his true nature as Abominox.

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MY FATHER SACRIFICES HIS LIFE “Fucker, you think I will allow you to do that?” I screamed, trying to attack Diminox despite the intense agony I was suffering, but my attack was still ineffective against that bastard, who become furious and attacked me with a deadly technique which had a completely unpronounceable name: “DIE, MAX WOLF!” Diminox screamed as he attacked me. I was totally sure that I was going to die  But then… My father who until that moment was under the control of Diminox remembered his true identity as a Pokémon and also remembered me. After doing an incredible effort, he reunited all his energies and attacked Diminox, being able to actually hurt him. “BASTARD, YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS!” Diminox screamed as he vaporized my father with one energy ray. Seeing the sudden and violent death of my father angered me a lot, triggering my transformation into a fucking monstrous creature which was almost as powerful as Diminox. Under that new form, I attacked that bastard, but he resisted the buffeting of my rage. “YOU WILL NEVER DEFEAT ME, MAX WOLF REVOLUTIONS!” Diminox screamed as he transformed into a fucking big abomination which looked like a dragon with 100 heads and 200 wings, which seemed completely indestructible, but I didn´t wanted to give up, so I continued fighting against him even if there wasn´t any chance to defeat him. In that moment, my father´s spirit talked directly to my soul: “Max Wolf, my son. We are finally together once again…” “But dad…You are dead…” I told him. “Even if I am dead, I still can grant you all my strength and memories to you, son…That will you the power you need to defeat this fucking son of bitch!!!” And after the spirit of my dad made that announcement, he granted me his powers and memories, and in that way I was able to know what happened to him during all the time I was trying to find him: After the explosions which separated us back then in the world were both came from, my father was left badly hurt in the middle of one forest, where he was found by a young Pokémon trainer called Kel, who cured his wounds. The explosion made him lost his memories, so he stayed with Kel as part of her Pokémon team. Some years later, the Pokemon team from that evil scientist which I killed when I became a monsters found Kel and her Pokémon when they were having a picnic in Pallet town. They confused my father with me, so they tried to kill him, murdering Kel and some of her Pokémon in the process. My dad was left unconscious by the monster who tried to kill him, but then Diminox intervened, realizing that my dad wasn´t actually me, but one of my relatives. From his interdimensional prison he telepathically ordered the six monsters to keep my dad as a hostage, because he was planning to use him against me. The monsters tried to disobey him, and Diminox punished them transforming into the six-headed monster which I destroyed before I went ot my final battle against Diminox in Stonedhenge. After that, he ordered another one of his servants (who was a magician disguised as a human) to train him, in order to make him powerful enough to destroy me. His plan was to make my father kill me as part of his revenge, and once my father was strong enough to fight against me, he killed his master and ate his skin and innards. Diminox then transformed him into a human and granted him a lot of new powers to fight against me…Once Diminox decided that he was strong enough to battle me, he sent him to wizard planet…The whole deal about Eian´s rebellion was only a trick from Diminox to set a battle between my father and I…And after our fight…He started to remember his life as a Pokémon, but Diminox torturing him for not being able to kill me. Seeing how my father was tortured by Diminox enraged me a lot, and my rage made me to achieve an even more powerful transformation: The Mega God form!

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WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS While I was agonizing, Diminox made a very retarded and terribly long speech, informing us (against our will) about his boring and uninteresting back story, and his Ultimate Evil Plan: “After you killed my master, I made an oath to destroy you, Max Wolf, promising myself that I will take revenge of you no matter what. Along with my partners, the other demon Pokémon owned by the great Solomon Phoenix, I pursued you across the cataclysmic portal between the dimensions which was created by the shock of our energies…However, I was suddenly separated from my partners when some kind of portal dragged me to a chaotic dimension, controlled by a Cosmic horror called “Abominox”, which offered me his help to take my revenge against the one who murdered my master in exchange of making him to wake up from its state of “eternal sleep” and allowing him to escape the interdimensional prison where he had been confined by the legendary seven Sonichu ball heroes 90000 years ago. I accepted his offering and then I merged my body with that disgusting creature, allowing me to transform into a demon dragon god from another dimension. However, under that form I was still under the effect of the eternal sleep which kept Abominox sealed in that interdimensional prison, but somehow I got the ability to create a psychic connection with several monsters and villains from the galaxy, granting them some powers in exchange of their vile souls, which eventually gave me the power to wake up from my eternal sleep.  Now that I am awaken, my powers are now unleashed, and the magical interdimensional prison where I am confined will disappear soon. Once that happens, my evil energy will be strong enough to vaporize this Universe, and nobody will be able to stop me! Mwahahaha!”