People never really made an extra amount of effort for me that I think I finally caught up to it and stopped making any effort on myself either. I cannot explain it but I could never escape this feeling of feeling so much like a burden because sometimes, I have needs and god forbid sometimes I have wants. I could proudly say no one has done anything for me without also benefiting them. No one has ever been willing to be inconvenienced for me in ways where they don't get anything in return at all. And for the first time, I think I've fully accepted that maybe I'm just not the person people bend over their backs for. It's not okay. But I guess, I need to learn to be okay with it. Because honestly, the reason this is is because they know I will always understand anyway. And yes, I understand anyway.
