@maya-mymy - Tumblr Blog

Request for ‘the signs as drunks’. Your own take on it? Love your content btw.

The Signs Drunk

Aries-A loud drunk, whether its sad loud or happy loud they are loud. Often prone to do stupid things as they are impulsive while not drunk and drinking makes everything seem like a good idea

Taurus- Typically happy drunks, kinda clingy as well as they love to love when drunk. Will probably compliment you many many times.

Gemini-Extremely sexual will flirt with you 10/10. As they are risky they will probably ask you and everyone in a nearby radius out.

Cancer-Fun when tipsy, kinda silly not overly flirtatious. Gets super emotional after a bit more drinks.

Leo-A mess. Slurring, stumbling, knocking things over. Very sloppy and clingy to their people. Theres a 50/50 chance they will vomit on you.

Virgo-It really depends on how you are sober to determine how you are drunk here, you will either be loud or quiet. If you’re loud you’ll probably be like aries if you’re quiet your spacing off a lot you muble and just keep drinking

Libra-Overly friendly. They love everyone and anyone around, might flirt with you but they flirt with everyone. Could possibly get clingy to one specific person but that doesn’t mean solely focused on them.

Scorpio-Loud as fuck drunk. They are happy and dancing and just lit. Eventually when the party dies they get emotional as fuck and will probably cry.

Sagittarius-Loud again, likely to be angry loud. Risk taking too so be careful with them as everything seems like a good idea.

Capricorn-They will probably seem sober as they are a quiet drunk. Will accidentally drink themselves into a coma for this reason.

Aquarius-Pretty wild drunk, does a bunch of stupid shit and will probably convince you to join in too. They are fun but dangerous idiots.

Pisces-Clingy, very clingy to their people. They love and laugh but if they get too drunk they will become emotional ass angry ass drunks.

(Thx b💜💖💜)

onlinecounsellingcollege

“Fall in love with someone who wants you, who waits for you. who understands you even in the madness; someone who helps you, and guides you, someone who is your support, your hope. fall in love with someone who talks with you after a fight. Fall in love with someone who misses you and wants to be with you. Do not fall in love only with a body or with a face; or with the idea of being in love.”

— Unknown

nzdad-deactivated20170410

im thirsty af for

a healthy relationship with a significant other in which we both love and support each other and genuinely enjoy being in each others company

pandaaamonium14

How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces? These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place. ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’ ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you? WITNESS: My name is Susan! _______________________________ ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active? WITNESS: No, I just lie there. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth? WITNESS: July 18th. ATTORNEY: What year? WITNESS: Every year. _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you? WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which. ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you? WITNESS: Forty-five years. _________________________________ ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory? WITNESS: I forget.. ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot? ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning? WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam? ____________________________________ ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he? WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ. ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken? WITNESS: Are you shitting me? _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time? WITNESS: Getting laid ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: She had three children , right? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: How many were boys? WITNESS: None. ATTORNEY: Were there any girls? WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney? ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated? WITNESS: By death.. ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated? WITNESS: Take a guess. ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual? WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female? WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male. _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people? WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight. _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to? WITNESS: Oral… _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time? WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample? WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question? ______________________________________ And last: ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing? WITNESS: No.. ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor? WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

skrillcholas-cage

oh my god these are great

princemetalthunder

fuck this is like reading a jokes and not actual quotes

angelrinisadork

@incorrectaceattorney

ri-chietozier

leafcrunch

kids today are too fucking powerful.,, we merely adopted the internet, they were born in it

whiskeycravenraven-deactivated2

This kid is a fuckin master look how long it took him to break

tonraqsd

This kid!!!

amenpop

cwote

We all have bad days… sometimes the only thing you can do is get through the day and try again tomorrow.

girlkissershauna

Joe Keery ft. orange

revan-trevelyan

Sometimes the help you need isn’t the help you want. Call 1-800-273-8255 if you’re thinking of suicide.

ube-makaveli

This comic meant a whole lot to me. It was sincere in its depiction and treated the issue through the eyes of a grounded person. Not some godly hero saying everything is better than it seems, but a person trying his best before bringing her somewhere who can actually help.

cardigran

makeuphall

andlatitude

How I draw faces

1) circle with lines

2) face, head, neck

3) nose

4) eyes, mouth, eyebrows

5) haaaiiir

6) everything else

magemanifesto-deactivated201407

thnx 4 help Steph

randomgirloffline-deactivated20

I CAN’T STOP LAUGHING

eternalseptember

slytherin-stud-deactivated20151

“According to Greek mythology, humans were originally created with four arms, four legs, and a head with two faces. Fearing their power, Zeus split them into two separate beings condemning them to spend their lives in search for their other halves.”

~Plato’s The Symposium.

How many times will I reblog this? “Always.”