after i have sex with a guy i never want to see them or speak to them again.
they no longer exist to me.
it’s so weird; it’s like a switch.
we can be vibing together really well, having a great time, he can be a great person, but if anything physical happens immediately after i want absolutely nothing to do with them. ever again.
i have no clue why this is. it is something i have been pondering since wednesday. obviously this is not the case for someone i have feelings for, but maybe it’s because usually i don’t even want the sex to happen. i just kinda let it happen.
so does that somehow subconsciously make me resent the person? i think maybe it is a mixture of that and regret.
looking back, i’ve had very, very few sexual encounters in which i was completely into it and/or not pressured, didn’t feel obligated, wasn’t forced. and even fewer still in which it was with someone i felt for.
i’ve learned to not harp on it too much, not to feel completely guilty and regretful as i did in the past.
i thought i had completely ridded myself of doing that, actually. but apparently it has evolved and is manifesting differently. and on a more subconscious level.
maybe i’m trying to erase them in a sense. thus erasing the memory and the encounter.
because if they do not exist, did it ever really happen?
yousharknotpass
turnnoffyourmind
vaporwave
janainaart
snowghoul
germansingergirl
jacobvanloon
