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I feel like my body is falling apart and I am going insane.

#p #is this menopause or being solidly in your 40s or the world we live in #I took my car in for routine maintenance and it was expensive and my check engine light came on this morning #that’s how life is going #and don’t even get me started about work

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I am fighting for my life right now after inhaling so much dust yesterday that my sinuses are wrecked and my chest hurts from coughing.

#p #my voice is gritty #I wanted to stay home #but I couldn’t

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And the best part of today was my old boss saw me milling around in the hallway while my office was being torn apart and decided in that moment to go all crazy eyed manic on me and then got a passive aggressive burn in on me by exclaiming “all my employees end up running away from my department and me I guess… well, YOU did!”

#p #like gurl what #i hate it here #what’s worse is I want back into that department #but she’d never have that

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I just want a BREAK

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#literally me as I drove home from work

So today my office got a surprise makeover with new desks because of my coworker and nothing fits right anymore and it’s a total mess and I got the shaft big time in the deal and it was so dusty that my allergies were going insane and my face looked like this all afternoon because I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown

#p #and some ahole tried to speed through a 4 way stop while I was going #so I laid on the horn and screamed at the top of my lungs and flipped him off #he stayed about 10 car lengths back from me after that 😂#don’t piss me off art #I need to find a remote job #I hate sharing an office #I want my own space

#p #forever a good one

The worst part of everything that has been going on for the past few years is that I know what I gave up to be stuck in this current situation. I don’t think I will ever be able to get past this immense regret because I can’t get back what I had and I don’t trust myself to make good decisions for my future.

#p #this is about work #but also all of my relationships #and just life in general #everything is expensive and shitty and stressful

I always feel like the most uncool person in the room but at least I know I’m the funniest.

#p

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Why do I keep needing to go to all of these different types of medical appointments..? Every year they keep tacking more on and like, I don’t care. 😂

#p #getting older is just you need to schedule this check up and get bloodwork and get imaging and and and #no thank you #I have to schedule 3 more #I just had 1

I went to game 7 last night and of course we stayed until the very end of that disappointing OT loss and so did everyone else which it then took us almost an hour to get out of the parking lot. I didn’t get home and to bed until almost 1am. I couldn’t skip out on work today because I’m solo (yet again… my coworker keeps taking days off every week and I’m annoyed about it). I’m in no mood for this place on a regular day so my tolerance is very low.

Things have been pretty weird around here since I told my boss essentially that I hate this job because it’s always been a stressful mess and isn’t what I signed up for based on the original job description so I will leave if I can find something else and she basically said good luck with that because there’s nothing out there during my last performance review.

#p #at least I got a beer sword at the game #and they let me sub the crappy beer for a bottle of water 😂#I’m so burnt out that I just say honest things at work now #like my first day on this job nobody was here and I was locked out #then they had nobody to train me because everyone refused #so it’s been a dumpster fire since day one going on 5 years #that’s crazy and anyone with options and self respect would have left

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