˚༺ summary:: kook!reader has everything, however, jj, he doesn’t have so much to offer. it’s the only reason he won’t be with her, he can’t compare.
˚༺ warnings:: insecurity?? yelling, mentions of lukes (👎) abuse towards jj.
˚༺ a/n:: hiii friends!! this is the first part to my taylor swift oneshot series ;p i hope you enjoy!! 💘💘
pairing:: bsf!jj + kook!reader
usually, when alone, you spend your time at the country club, drawing, working in the garden, or doing your favourite of all, hanging out with the pogues.
they excused you and sarah being kooks, just because they all love you both so much.
you’re perfect. you are the islands princess.
your hair falls perfectly, like dominoes. you have a bright, warm smile and an Angelic personality.
and not only that, you have a healthy relationship with your family. a healthy lifestyle, too. but, despite all that, you still make time to spend with the pogues.
your closest friend has to be jj, maybank of course. he has always been there for you, through thick and thin.
and you are there for him when things get tough, you can’t count how many times he’s snuck into your window at midnight after a fight with his dad. you always take him in, clean him up, kiss his forehead until he drifts off to sleep in your arms.
he acts like a tough guy, but you know he needs someone to lean on. you try your hardest to be that for him. be the one person he can show his soft, vulnerable side.
so, when you show up to the chateau today in a navy blue and white cap, your soft hair falling down your back, and some denim shorts with a navy blue bikini top on, everybody looks at you.
its a particularly hot day on the obx, so you are all wearing minimal clothing. it doesn’t help that john b has no air conditioning.
“hi guys!” you beam, smiling as you walk up to the hammocks they are all laying on.
jj sits up first, giving you a little whistle when he sees you. “look at you, princess.” he grins.
you shove him over, making room for yourself next to him. “shut up.” you groan, laying down on the hammock.
everybody else gives you a very sloppy hello, the heat clearly getting to them. however—you manage to keep your cheery energy as always.
you did just come from an air conditioned mansion though..so.
“what have you all done today? just..this?” you ask, as you are laying your head down on jjs chest. nobody comments on it, they are all used to your closeness.
“not everyone lives in figure 8, y/n.” john b pipes up, which causes you to smile. “i know, im just saying—this can’t be fun.” you respond.
you feel jjs hand in your hair, its so relaxing you find yourself about to fall asleep right here. you feel a sense of safety with him—you always have.
so, that’s exactly what you do. fall asleep on his chest, in the warm sunlight.
“think she’s out,” jj smiles, looking down at you.
“i’m not surprised. she looks like a puppy whenever she’s next to you.” pope murmurs.
jj gently covers your ears with his hands, despite the fact you are asleep. “shutup, man. you know its not like that.” he grumbles.
pope just makes a teasing sound, winding jj up even more.
that’s when your eyes flutter open, your first sight being jj. the way you like it. you found yourself wishing everyday you could wake up to him, next to him.
“did i fall asleep??” you murmur, wiping your eyes.
he smiles warmly. a smile only you get. “yeah, baby. right here.” he chuckles.
you sigh, before closing your eyes again and falling right back to sleep.
the next day, you found yourself thinking about jj as usual. you were shopping at some markets on main street, bumping into people like rafe and kels.
as you stop at a particularly beautiful little stand, you see a really cute bracelet. its blue, and gold. its beautiful, and it reminds you of jj alot. he loves bracelets, keeping stacks of them on his wrist, most of which you made yourself.
you take a look at the price tag, it nears $300, but for you that’s light work so you carry it to the register.
“hi, just this one please.” you say, smiling widely at the stranger. “this stand is beautiful.” you make small talk, as she puts the numbers into the register.
when you are done purchasing, you walk back to your little bike and begin riding over to john bs, knowing jj will most likely be there.
when you pull up, you hop off your bike, gently placing it against a pillar as you hop up the stairs of the chateau.
there’s jj, laying alone on a chair, joint in his mouth.
when he sees you, he immediately stands up, coming over to give you a hug. “hey princess,” he says, kissing your hair as he towers above you.
“hi!!” you say, excitedly handing him the gift you just got him. “i got you something.”
“woww, look at you,” he grins, as he begins to untie the ribbon.
when he opens the box, at first, his eyes light up. then they begin to fade. “..baby, thankyou—thankyou but i can’t take it.” he begins to say.
“you can, its for you.” you say, innocently. you have no idea how he’s feeling right now.
“you buy me things all the time and i never give you..anything.” he says.
“i know, but that’s okay. i like giving you gifts.” you explain, or try to.
“no, y/n. i can’t take it.”
“no!” he snaps. “you dont get it, y/n!”
“you have everything. you live on figure 8, you have money, you have everything—“
“but i love you, jayj, and i want to be with you—“ you say, helplessly.
“no! dont even say that to me—you dont love me. and you sure as hell dont want to be with me, what do i have to offer? i’m fucked up—and you, you’re perfect. too perfect for me, atleast.” he yells, but begins to get softer at the end.
he realises who he’s talking to. who he’s yelling at. his literal Angel. the person that saved him.
“dont say i don’t love you, jayj! you know i do, id do anything for you.” you begin to yell back, hurt by what he said.
“how can you say that? you dont have to live like i do, y/n. you spend the day with us, but then you go home to the perfect life.” he says, his voice slightly breaking by talking to you like this.
“i’ve done everything for you jj, i let you stay at my place when you fight with your dad, i give you money all the time, i take care of you when you need it. how can you say i dont care—i dont love you?” you say.
“because you don’t know the half of it. and it won’t work.” he murmurs, before walking away.
you are left standing there, hurt, and confused. but i guess that’s what loving a maybank does to you. how can he be so soft with you—so loving, just to push you away again??
that’s when you feel someone walking up to you. “hey, y/n. wanna go get something to eat?” you hear john b say, having no idea what just happened.
“yeah..yeah. food sounds nice.” you murmur, the light in your voice suddenly just gone.
when you and john b are sitting at the table, both munching on one half of a sandwich each, you speak up finally. “do you think i’m gonna fall inlove soon? like—my love life sucks.” you say, mouth full of sandwich.
“yeah, of course. everybody wants you.” john b responses.
but i don’t like a gold rush.
