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Been having issues when I stand up for about 4-5 months now. Saw the cardiologist today and he asked me I had POTS, dude you are the doctor YOU TELL ME! When I said 🤷🏼‍♀️ he goes okay, drink more liquid, exercise and see you in a year.

Thanks for the pointless visit.

P.S bloodwork has been done, I can now worry myself to death till I get the results in about a week at the earliest.

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Welp, had my appointment today to go over the findings of my CT scan.

I have to have a liquid biopsy. That will tell us if it’s serious or just a haha made you look, but no keep an eye on me tho.

Not gonna lie I’m bummed and freaking out. I’ve googled and spent an hour researching and I need a Valium to calm my nerves.

Also for like 4-5 months or so, whenever I stand up and immediately start moving I get super lightheaded and dizzy. Sunday everyone was sleeping and I got up and reached the kitchen and was mere seconds from passing out. My blood pressure today at my appointment was within “normal” range but borderline low. So now I have an appointment with my cardiologist.

LIFE IS GRAND.

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Ever wake up and immediately think, FUCK. But not because something happened or you slept late but literally the fact that you woke up.

Yep. More often than I’d like to admit.

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Welp, I write this from Michigan. The bestie has been taken home. I leave in the morning to go back, friendless. 😭

Here are a few pictures from our photo shoot. EVERYONE had matching shirts. The kids and Kelli and I all tie dyed shirts.

I love that family to the moon and back.

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Just two besties hanging out.

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I keep forgetting I have this space. I wanted to use this platform to just blog about life and the children. But I found it wasn’t a safe space. I can’t just vent without someone running to tell someone. Then someone comes yelling at me.

While the Internet as always been a creep it got worse and decided NOT to share the kids anymore. Sure I might talk about them but no more pictures (here).

I’m hanging on by a frayed thread. But I’m hanging on.

Is mumblr still a thing on here? What is going on for all my followers, what’s new? Talk to me.

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Everyone should be proud of me, while on vacation we went to, 3 or 4 book stores and I only bought 2 books from one place.

We also went to the funko HQ and I left with only 2 funko pops. Alex Russo and Casper holding the elixir to bring you back to life.

We also stopped at 2 or 3 record stores and I bought a single vinyl. Hayley Williams.

P.S we are officially home, as in my living room.

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Well hot damn, I forgot all about you.

Just want to start this by saying I’m still alive. Just wen on our first family vacation and guess what we did.

WE WENT TO FORKS! I GOT TO SEE TWILIGHT STUFF! I NERDED OUT SO HARD! AND ROBITUSSIN IS REAL! I ALSO BOUGHT THE BEST THING IN THE WORLD!

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Oh oops how did those get there

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I wish I didn’t take things so personally.

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Mom shaved her head for her chemo treatment. I shaved mine too.

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My mom has cancer.

Stage 2 breast cancer.

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I got new eyes! I fucking love my eyes.

Just how cute are they.

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BE JEALOUS BE VERY JEALOUS

BECAUSE OH MY GOD!

ISNT SHE BEAUTIFUL

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I can’t do anything correctly.

I’m a mess.

I need a vacation.

My stress and depression is giving me the urges to purge and super clean my house. I need to do ALL the laundry. Deep clean the living room, dining room, kitchen. Put away the trees and ornaments.

I need a clean house, I need relaxation. I’m slowly going crazy.

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Overwhelmed

So much stress

It currently feels like a 5 ton truck is parked on my chest and I can’t breathe.

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The following post comes from the heart and is sensitive in nature. Wasn’t going to post about it not because I’m ashamed because Nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed about. I just felt like maybe it was personal. But after thinking I decided I wanted to share my journey and how I’m ending it.

In 2010 we started the journey to become parents, not knowing the road would be long, hard and painful. We fell pregnant right away and unfortunately lost the baby. But I was determined, asked the doctor when I could try again. We tried again and I was lucky I fell pregnant right away. Made it to 12 weeks, the “safe” spot so to speak. Except it wasn’t the safe spot for me. Once again we lost the baby, this time it was a missed miscarriage and it was painful I delivered the bean (because that’s the shape it was) in the emergency room. I essentially gave birth to that baby.

I didn’t realize that I shut down, I went numb, told everyone I was fine when in fact I was not fine. I swore off children. Said I was never having them. I was angry when people got pregnant around me, it wasn’t fair. It took a death in the family for me to wake up and realize that if I were to have kids I wanted them to meet gramps. He is everything. We saw a different doctor and had a million tests done and thought we found the problem. I can get pregnant I just can’t stay pregnant without medication.

4 years into our marriage Charlie came into our lives. She’s our rainbow baby. She drives me crazy but she really is everything to me. She doesn’t realize just how much I needed her. With her birth I made some of the greatest friends from her birth months group. I treasure their friendships more than they realize. We may not talk as often but they truly mean something special to me.

3 years after her birth we welcomes Atlas and he’s my baby boy. He’s exactly what I needed as well, can’t hear for shit but is perfect. And while pregnant with him I met my bestest friend in the whole world. Like it’s crazy how similar we are with both kids I. Age and birthdays. Now we have cats who have birthdays very similar. I love her to death.

I will be honest, there was a scare a possible chemical pregnancy or something. I had all the symptoms, even a positive test. But every blood test was negative. As much as a third child would be nice and fun BUT with my mental health I can NOT have anymore children. I would literally go insane and try to hurt myself. No jokes about it. With that said.

My time to bring babies into the world has come to an end. Thursday I’m having my tubes removed. It’s 100% effective. No more scares, no more babies.

The Plachy family is forever complete.

James

Jennifer

Charlie

Atlas

And the cats

Penelope Rose

Boots with the fur