slowly

[maybestopoverthinking]

Next time you part ways, dont say goodbye.

'Au Revoir, Fee Amanillah'

'Until we meet again, I leave you in the care of Allah'

[maybestopoverthinking]

Fiction 001

And the moon was looking down at me as i was looking up, saying the same thing it always says "I'm here, no matter what"

[afreenirfanbaig-deactivated2024]

[maybestopoverthinking]

Do you let them believe they were replaceable, or show them they can never be replaced, just memories cherished, and their name in every prayer.

[maybestopoverthinking]

I hate people who write,

They make me wanna write too

Make me wanna crease paper with pen,

Words with no ends and

thoughts that creep inside,

I cant keep my mind, numb

Words make me wanna feel,

Not avoid, make me wanna dream,

And spoil whatever good theres been in numbness and avoidance in peaceful ignorance, in alternate realities with,

A heart stone cold, the pain all numbed,

The hurt subdued,

so i dont get burned

From lighting a fire under myself, from

holding my breaths to see if death, could

dwell in seconds and moments of bleakness,

in shadows of purposeful hurtings, to see if the sayings are true,

if the thing i wanna kill, is a part of me, not me, not you,

or if i want all of me, want to treasure the pain in glass shells, broken memories and thought hells,

but they'd shatter, inside myself

just to realise the only,

things that are never in vain

Are words, poems, and their carried pain

[maybestopoverthinking]

I feel better reading words, than writing them sometimes, they make me avoid everything else in the world and wish i wrote them instead, im always waiting to read that next thing and go "i wish i wrote that", i wish i could carry words as good as that, that i could make pain breathe and words bleed so i could hurt a little more inside with every, fleeting letter that i read, and go " i wish i could also make words bleed"

[maybestopoverthinking]

And then i say my words aren't me, cause they aren't in reality, but they are, from me, thoughts, emotions, shatter, and form words, you read those and think theyre just words, but to me they're everything. To me, they're everything i couldn't be

[maybestopoverthinking]

I think I've kept so much bundled inside for ao long, i cant write anymore or the paper would shatter from the weight, and the words would be so heavy they'd fall onto the ground before the reached your ear, and the emotions would be so bundled up that it would take you an eternity to untangle them and make sense of. And i feel that even if the paper could handle it and the words reach you and the emotions untangle i dont think i could myself, fathom the depths of thoughts and emotions and memories enough to let them out through such a limited human language, and if i could, i think I'll spend an eternity waiting for the right people to tell it to

[hermoonlit-world]

My sister just broke my comfort mug. (It’s black, and I can’t drink my morning coffee in any other mug) and it’s ten pm.

I literally had a emotional breakdown and my oldest sisters commentary was “she can live without anything, but she cannot live without her black mug, let me get you one first thing in the morning”

How do you explain to those humans. That sometimes you form a connection to objects, and it runs deep, and you become so emotionally attached to it. That losing it is like a losing a part of yourself.

[maybestopoverthinking]

I like to imagine she still think of me, in a good way haha, its not hope, its not a want, its not a wish, its just, well, a thought, imaginary thought, a thought that keeps the blood flowing, but also dry it up, wondering why should she, i hope she never thinks of me, i hope she lives a happy life, or atleast a life where I'm not a concern, a life shes satisfied with, aspirations, prayers, dreams, and love may all of that find her in her dark days, and may no darkness touch her in her bright ones, i told her "fee Amanillah" i left her in the care of God, and god doesn't disappoint right? So i still pray, and ask for her best in both worlds. And pray, and ask may she never think of me, and pray and ask, may she heal from all she went through, may she live a little livelier, laugh a little more, dream a little bigger and sleep more comfortable, so i pray, and i ask, may we meet in Jannah.

Fee Amanillah

[maybestopoverthinking]

On my way back home from the gym and the wind feels chilly against the sweat from the gym workout i just had, i look up and theres the moon shining with all its might, shrieking your name

[maybestopoverthinking]

Crooked, pretty, reason of my death

[safewithsilence-deactivated2023]

[maybestopoverthinking]

My heart wrenches over and over,

At the thought of what ifs

[maybestopoverthinking]

You wanna let it all out but you cant, cause once you let yourself cry its over, there will be too much blood splattered, and glass shattered to bring back to one wobbly piece of you

[maybestopoverthinking]

I cant cry, i can just feel the wrench

[maybestopoverthinking]

If only 😭