Let's Talk about it... Integrity!
What does it mean for you and does it really hold any true value or meaning to the word definition.
Oxford dictionary define the word Integriry as the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; moral uprightness and the state of being whole and undivided.
So what does integrity mean to you? Some may have various definition however, the word definition will include an individual cultural, values and perceptions through various life experiences.
Having integrity means that you live in accordance to your deepest values, you're honest with everyone, and you always keep your word. Integrity is a highly valued trait, especially in leaders. When you live with integrity, you're more likely to be considered for important promotions and leadership positions. I know many have heard this and many have applied these same principles and beliefs to relationships and friendships.
Now the challenge with definitions and words ... you'll always hear me say, it all depend on the individual experience. Why? Because people define things based on how they experience things and those experiences will contribute to their views and etc.
Lately, I've been battling with the true meaning of what integrity mean and how it impacts my core values and effect who I am and strive to be...
Have you ever experience this before? What did you do about it? How did you keep intact with who you are and or striving to be? Many believe that having integrity is easy but to be honest it is very hard. Hear me out! Depending on where you're from and how you were raised and what your culture values entail but snitching isn't the way of life.
I grew up in the Era that snitches get stitches, that end up in ditches crying like little bitches... yeah I know it's corny and you may have heard another infamous quote or saying. Lol
But what is integrity in the workplace?
What's integrity in a friendship/relationship?
For me integrity can be displayed or shown in many form as having characters traits such as being loyal, dependable, honest, clear judgment, reliable and trustworthy.
Sound like a lot but overall I'll sum it up as telling the TRUTH. This is hard for many. People perception, comprehension and understanding at times interfere with their ability to tell and or speak the truth.
That's another word that can be define with many substances and consist of many characters and adjectives. But for me the TRUTH is important to me. The truth matters in the workplace and or in relationships/friendships. People characters are build on this and can easily be destroyed by a simple lie or omitting an important fact. You'll always hear me say I don't care what you said. All I care about is that you and I beg you to say exactly what I said and nothing else but the truth.
How hard is this? Why do people make the executive decision to change or create whatever story or picture that doesn't represent what happen or occurred? Seriously why the fuck do people do this dumb shit? Maybe it's mental. Maybe it's a survival method tool or maybe the person is just clueless and like drama or a compulsive story teller. One will never know. If you do please share. This irks me. Can you tell? Lol
It's like making a margarita without the tequila. One would ask is it a margarita if the tequila and lime is missing? Now for those who can create any illusion would say if you can think of a margarita and know how it taste; then you can believe that it is a margarita. Well I'm here to tell you that's a lie. A margarita consist of important ingredients and once you subtract or substitute an ingredient it is no longer consider a margarita. It is a drink with alcohol and you can now personalize it and make it your own drink. Now if you use the main ingredients and now add a flavor like peach... the drink is now consider a flavored drink. A peach maragrita. But notice the word margarita doesn't get eliminated. That's important.
But let's get back to the topic. Lately, I've been experiencing where I have to choose between my integrity and character both in the workplace and friendships. For the most part I do have a nonchalant, that's not important, that doesn't impact me nor endanger my life and I didn't say that so believe wtf you want to believe and I definitely don't have time for this kind of attitude. Therefore, I'll always opt out for people to believe what the fuck they want to believe about me. They can say whatever & think whatever and that's not my problem because I know who I am. I know what I do and I sleep well at night.
But what happens when that isn't enough? What happens when you know someone is lying on you? What happens when these incidents and people are part of the reason why your image is being tainted both in the workplace or relationship/friendship with others?
What I will tell you is that once you start to do the work on Self... things start to matter and things you never cared about now is important and draws a sense of urgency to you and self. I mean I really don't do well with the back and forth or the "he said she said" or this is what I meant and that's not what I said or etc. Anger management has been a part of my life for many years in the past. But working on self is essential.
But it doesn't matter if it's in the workplace or in any form of relationships... you should speak up. If you live or visited NYC and rode the trains/bus you may have seen or read a sign that said if you see something, say something. If you are employed the human resource department or the integrity line is there for you to Speak Up.
My conflict of interest is that I care. Care enough not to make someone look stupid or lose relationship because of what was said or not said or done by a person actions or words. I rather walk away. Ignore the person. Stop talking to them or just wait for a realignment or re-organization to get a new reporting supervisor. But when you're doing the work you'll learn that that's not the answer. That's only putting a bandaid on a cut that isn't properly been taking care of.
It is important to protect and defend your character. If someone is lying on you and creating false narratives about you or situation it is your due diligence to speak up and let the truth hold its weight. One may ask how do you do this? Present facts and stick to the truth. Do not add anything or subtract anything. Speaking up not only set the tone but inform the person that they are omitting words, action and self behaviors that contributed to their illusion of trying to destroy your Integrity. But most important they should understand that there is a problem and the resolution is important to you. Listen! Integrity is everything! Once that is gone you have absolutely nothing.
What you'll also learn about me is that I take my work ethic and relationship/friendship serious. I take pride in everything that I do. I'm not perfect but I'll show up with pride and I will stand by your side and work hard to not only show you what my Integrity mean but how I want it to define me.
So what do you do when someone is lying or has told a lie on you? If it impact your life in a significant way my advice will be to speak up and protect your Integrity. Your integrity is your name and your name is your integrity. If you can't be trusted then why are we even standing in each other's way. I'm learning to speak up and report matters that do not represent my character and or beliefs. My core value represent my integrity.
If you're ever faced with someone questioning your integrity clear it up for them. I used to be the person that would look at friends be with each other and be like dam do you know what that person said about you? But I choose distance because I am a true believer of Karma and the God I serve has never failed me. But distance keep me out of jail and prevent me from harming anyone or someone harming me. But trust and believe me when I say,, I'm not only protecting my integrity but I'm making sure you understand how important it is to me. Therefore, I'm speaking up about everything. The formula is very simple. Speak up and protect your integrity.
If you are employed, partner up with an human resource, mentor or colleague that is going to give you sound advice. The same will apply with friendships or any relationships. Remember to be professional and speak with respect. At the end of everything your character remain in tact and you're teaching others that your integrity is important to you.
Prose and Cons of Integrity.... is to tell the truth.