soft chaos ✧ loud feelings ✧ queer books

Jenny • 33 • queer • avid reader • programmer • professional overfeeler • learning this life thing

[jenyifer]

Hello! 💖

Welcome to my little corner of chaos. If you’re wondering “what’s going on here?”—honestly same sometimes. I’m Jenny.

Age: ‘93 liner

Professional: Computer Programmer

Identity: Bi (she/her)

Interests: BTS ARMY, LGBTQIA+ media, cozy fantasy & sci-fi, emotional damage (the fictional kind), and being a professional overthinker

Location: somewhere between a tea shop in the afterlife, the twilight zone, and a magical forest I refuse to leave 🌿

I read a lot. Mostly queer stories, found family, soft magic, and characters who learn how to be human the hard way. That’s not changing.

Lately, life has been… expanding a bit.

I’m in a relationship, I’m exploring my spirituality more, and I’m figuring out what I actually believe about love, identity, and connection in real time.

So this space is kind of evolving with me.

Still books. Still queer media.

But also a little more… me.

I post to remember things—stories I loved, characters that stayed with me, thoughts I don’t want to lose. If you happen to be here too, you’re welcome to stay.

I try to keep things spoiler-friendly, but I will absolutely scream about feelings.

If you ever want to talk about a book, a character, or something that emotionally destroyed you in a fun way—please come find me.

I might disappear sometimes (ADHD brain 🫡), but I care more than I’m good at showing consistently.

If you’re here because you’re curious, cozy, or a little lost—same.

Let’s find things to love anyway.

— Jenny ☀️

[jenyifer]

We Burned so Bright

By Tj Klune

9.3 🌶️/5 🌎🚐⚡️👴

Tj Klune’s most recent masterpiece which of course I had to read more specifically listen to narrated by Kirk Graves. Now I have lots of thoughts so going to put the spoiler warning analysis below the cut. Not giving anything away will be hard but your girl will try.

Do you want a realistic apocalypse now story? Do you long for a journey of the heart and road? Do you long for old man yaoi with a mix of classic hero’s journey in a short amount of pages? Have I got the book for you. The end of the world is here 2 year ago earth found out we are going to be swallowed by a black hole. Although the world is ending Don and Rodney have a much more important journey to go on. One of love, forgiveness, and grief. I think this is a book with a message we should all listen to. It made me cry heavily only once but it was necessary. I think I would struggle to read it back to back again. However I believe that when I read it again in a year or so it will give me a new pov. Anyway go go read it.

Okay here is my analysis section you have been warned

finished We Burned So Bright and I’m still trying to untangle my feelings about it.

I think what surprised me most is that this did not feel like a book about the apocalypse so much as a book that used the end of the world as the backdrop for grief, guilt, and forgiveness. The sci-fi element felt almost reality-adjacent to me — less about the mechanics of the end and more about pushing Don and Rodney onto a final emotional pilgrimage.

What really worked for me was the structure. Every stranger they met felt less like a random encounter and more like a little story or lesson on the road, almost like a play or a pilgrimage narrative. In my head, each encounter had a different visual style, like every stranger carried their own atmosphere and meaning.

I kept feeling like each person they met helped Don and Rodney understand Jeremy’s life differently:

- the young family in denial

- the hippies showing the reckless selfishness and fragility of youth

- Amelia as the painful reminder that compassion does not always mean you can stay

- the lesbian couple as a reflection of found family and queer endurance

- the truck woman as one last image of help, hope, and what can’t be repaired in time

It made the whole book feel like a journey toward being emotionally ready for the end.

Jeremy was the part that hurt me most. As someone who has often felt like a difficult daughter, I found him devastating. It would have been easy for the book to reduce him to “monster” or “lost cause,” but it doesn’t. He caused pain, he made terrible choices, and still the book leaves room for the fact that he loved his dads. That final impulse — wanting to tell them he loved them, wanting to offer hope that maybe there could still be a future where they spoke again — absolutely broke me.

At the same time, I think part of why I’m conflicted on my rating is that although the story is about Don and Rodney’s journey, I never fully felt like I deeply knew them as separate people. They almost felt dreamlike to me — less like fully grounded individuals and more like grief vessels moving through the story. That may have been intentional. At times it almost felt like the book was seeing them through Jeremy’s memory, or through the haze of love and loss, rather than through strict realism. It worked emotionally, but it also kept me from feeling totally rooted in them as individuals.

So that’s where I landed: I was very moved by what the book was doing, even if I wasn’t always fully attached to who Don and Rodney were as distinct characters.

It’s a beautifully sad book about love surviving damage, about the unbearable limits of what parents can do, and about what happens when there is nowhere left to put your love except into memory, forgiveness, and the road ahead.

[jenyifer]

A Spell for Heartsickness

8/10 🌶️🌶️🌶️/5

Do you love a twink disaster? Have you ever dealt with chronic pain? Do you long to choose between a sexy woodsy man and a thin rich YouTuber? Do you love sassy side characters who will absolutely steal your heart? Do you want a twist that is genuinely shocking even in a story with fortune telling?

Then this might be the book for you.

Briar Wyngrave is starting his first year as a graduated witch, and while he is not the most talented witch alive, he does genuinely love magic and wants to build a life for himself. Instead of heading somewhere glamorous, he gets sent to the middle of nowhere with a fortune that promises true love and a happy life — which is a pretty cruel dangling carrot for a boy who is actively dying.

He ends up in a run-down shop with a moody emo ghost, a murderous forest out back, and next door? His idol. A parasocial god of a man. Naturally, chaos follows.

Quick warning: Briar is dumb. I say that with love, but I did want to strangle him a little. He’s young, messy, overwhelmed, and still figuring himself out. There were two chapters where I genuinely thought I might stop reading, but I’m glad I didn’t.

The romance and spice were worth it, but what I liked most is that they never fully overshadowed the stakes. For a romantasy one-off, this ended up in my top tier. Good ending, good payoff, good emotional reward.

Anyway: if you like queer romantasy, magical chronic illness, messy boys, creepy forests, and emotional chaos, give it a shot

Slight spoiler below

Omg to have a villain as a psychopath serial killer that was written so well was a turn in events I didn’t see coming. It was fascinating. Something many try but very get correct.

Also Gretchen is my best girl I love her 😍

[jenyifer]

Under the whisper door by TJ Klune

8.5/10 👻🦌👨‍❤️‍👨 💭implied spice

I was hesitant to read this because I’ve experienced loss in my life.

But instead of devastating me, it felt… freeing.

The sell: The sell: Wallace is an asshole—and now he’s dead.

He’s pushed into a found family he doesn’t want, in a story that leans into found family and enemies-to-lovers.

I avoided this book for a long time. Stories about the dead and the living usually feel heavy and melancholy to me… and not in a good way.

But I’m really glad I finally read it.

Wallace has a great character transformation. The side characters are so good. If you love your grandpa and your quirky cousin? Good news I have some hugs for you in this book. There are heavy topics themes of suicide, death, murder, and cancer. But I found the approach was beautiful and held each topic with respect. I wasn’t overly triggered just gained perspective. I couldn’t give this book a 10/10 because I find it difficult to relisten to because the words hit better the first time. I also think having some filler scenes in the tea shop would have been nice for building emotion. At times, the emotional pacing felt a little fast—you understand why, since we’re not with Wallace every day, but there were moments I wanted to sit in longer.

Final pitch. Do you want warm fuzzy’s? Do you want to have your own ideas of grief and death expanded upon? Do you want to appreciate your life and find a new found family to live in your heart? Do you watch/read/listen to a Christmas Carol every year? Do you love a Tea Shop hottie male and female? This is for you

I’m going to go into a little more detail under the expand so you have been warned

This book made me think about love in a way I didn’t expect… so I ended up writing this to my boyfriend, and I wanted to share it here too.

Wallace’s problem in life wasn’t success. It was connection.

He built a life around control, around doing everything “right,” but none of it felt like living.

He isolated himself without realizing it.

What changed wasn’t his circumstances.

It was his choice.

He chose people.

He chose to let himself care.

He chose love—not because it gave him something, but because it was the right thing to do.

And that stayed with me.

Because it made me realize something I’m still learning—

love isn’t something we earn by being perfect.

It’s something we choose, over and over again, even when it’s hard.

“We dont need you because that implies you had something to fix something within us. We were never broken. We want you… Every piece. Every part. Because we are family can you see the difference?”

That line broke me a little.

Because I think a part of me still believes I have to be “better” to be loved.

But I’m starting to understand…

real love isn’t about gain.

It’s about choosing someone, fully, without trying to make them into something else.

Anyway go read hahahaha talk to me about it. Book recs are always welcome

[jenyifer]

Marry My Dead Body

10/10

I wasn’t expecting a movie I had seen the trailer to once years ago to be so freaking good. I adored the comedy parody of the cop movie. The editing was great music really got me hyped every scene. Then there is the understated BL and grief. Idk movie had me laughing and crying. So let me give my review

No Spicy but lots of butts

Do you like comedy yes? Do you enjoy character growth? Wonderful. Marry my dead body is a surprising comfort film. I was glued to the screen and remembering how much I love hot fuzz. I was scared I’d be rolling my eyes at the end with what ever emotional pull you know you will go into. However the emotional build up is 100% worth it. I won’t change a thing.

[cosmicdayglow]

[jornymiyu]

Some erha doodles

[peppertw-uwu]

YEEEESSSSS LET'S GOOOOO

Finally, I finished this page 💥💥

Drawing in the night is always wonderful ✨

I guess I'm glad how this turned out, I tested many pallets and colours to find favourite ones (for future works as well thehe) ><

Small note:

1) here I drew the hairstyles in an older style, so they differ from the previous sketches

2) I know that Emma has green eyes, but for convenience I made them orange, don't hit me with slippers for this–)

I feel how I overdone with my RayEmma hyperficsation, I think I should slow down a little bit haha– (I love them too much ughhh💥💥)

Anyway hope you like this page, for now bye bye!! ><

P.S.: fan fact about part with umbrellas: I kinda wanted to repiete one scene from artbooks where were also umbrellas, but I realised that my skills with watercolor still not that good :_D

P.S.S: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SO MANY LIKES AND REBLOGS HOLLY MOLLY SORRY I DIDN'T MENTION THAT LAST TIME BUT THANK YOU THANK YOU 💖💖💖💖💖

[chidoroki]

"Unstoppable" by Donna Ashworth

[chidoroki]

"Unstoppable" by Donna Ashworth

[hootyhoowoo]

I’ve had this saved in my wips since October of last year _(:3 」∠)_

[snakehours]

Just a king and his little guy!

[rockttm]

everyone get fem kyouhaba pilled NOW

[rockttm]

yurikyuu kyouhaba is living in my brain

[rainb0wrae]

kyouhaba 2025 revival pls🙏

[meltedmush]

I’m so normal for them…

[psyduckz]

the king’s little guy consort