come on

im a 21 year old girl named maddy

[tastefullyoffensive]

[twentydun]

will today’s kids ever know how truly iconic Harry Potter Puppet Pals: The Mysterious Ticking Noise was??? Will they ever know how it shaped us as a society?? 

[melonmemes]

/r/accidentalcamouflage

[rallyforbernie]

This is what Republicans try to demonize for political gain. Think about it.

[ccstcrptc]

texting resist didn’t work?😕

[jumex]

Stop LmKDJAKSK

[snorlaxatives]

oh wow five years ago today the stylish but illegal monkey was found roaming around ikea in toronto…. now this is truly an iconic date in meme history

[snorlaxatives]

never forget

[severalowls]

The Ikea Monkey is alive and well at a sanctuary in Ontario! He was only a baby when he was found clothes shopping in Ikea.

Name: Darwin, Japanese Macaque

Date of Birth: 2012

Arrival Date: December 10, 2012

Previous home details: Darwin was born in Canada as part of the exotic pet trade in 2012, and had lived in a family home in Toronto. He was found in an IKEA parking lot in December 2012 after escaping from his owner’s car and was seized by local authorities. A social media and worldwide news sensation, Darwin has resided at SBFPS ever since.

Condition upon arrival: Darwin had been imprinted by humans, which rarely bodes well for a monkey. He was very insecure upon arrival, and needed to be the centre of everyone’s attention. He was sheltered from the other monkeys until he got used to his surroundings.

Progress: Since his arrival Darwin has grown in strides - learning to be far more monkey than human. He is grooming Sweet Pea, and calls to Julien and Lexy - mimicking their vocalizations and learning how to speak macaque. He has grown in size and confidence as well, and was slowly transitioned towards having multiple caregivers who he can trust and love as his ‘troop’, as he had no real monkey mother to show him the ropes.

Personality Traits: Darwin is a cheeky little guy, that’s for sure! He loves to play all day, and is always bouncing off the walls with excitement, especially when his favourite people come to visit! He loves to play tricks on you when you’re not looking, like any adolescent!

Favourite Activity: Darwin loves Curious George! He has a Curious George doll whom he takes to his pool to give a bath, and grooms him and tries to get him to drink. He also loves swinging on his fire hose.

Favourite Food: Darwin loves grapes, dates and cherries - but cherries definitely top the list!

Wish list from staff: Darwin can always use new and exciting toys, and he loves his fire hose swings and swimming in kiddie pools!

[kas-a]

I told my homecoming date I’m just going to wear sweatpants to the dance and his reaction was ‘okay just let me know what color sweatpants so my tie can match’ 

[oswinchester-221b]

he’s a keeper.

[poizoned]

They’re* a keeper. Don’t assume they’re male

[pirate996]

But the op said his

[the-troye-urie-blog]

this is tumblr in a post

[localstarboy]

I’VE NEVER LAUGHED SOO FUCKKNG HARD

[automatic-caution-door]

[ladysnowofmpls]

ok this is really sweet

[waitwhatdidtheysay]

[captions]

Girl: “You glue them on.”

Dude 1: [very confused] “Why would you do that? I don’t glue mine on.”

Dude 2: [also confused] “Yeah, what the fuck?”

Girl: “Have you never heard of gluing them on?”

Dude 2: [incredulous] “No!”

Girl: “Watch this.” [she removes her eyelash]

Dude 1: [slightly panicked] “No, I- STOP.” 

Dude 2: [shocked gasp] [pause] [concerned] “Do you still have eyelashes?”

Girl: [laughs]

[the-memedaddy]

[mockwa]

[yeahiwasintheshit]

you must of fucked up real bad, bud

[mccormickspice]

FAQ

Q: what the hell is wrong with you?

A: yeah

[humansofnewyork]

“My husband had a sudden heart attack a few months ago. It was just a few blocks from here. They called me in to identify his body and then just let me walk right out onto 7th Avenue. I felt so lost. My friends were wonderful and supportive but eventually everyone moves on with their lives. I don’t have children. And I’m not a workaholic. So I was left with this intense loneliness and void. I couldn’t eat. I couldn’t sleep. Then one day I started researching dogs that are good for grief and depression. And ‘poodle’ kept popping up. But when I went to the rescue fair, all the poodles were gone. There was this one old dog in the back that nobody was looking at. She was skin and bones. She was trembling and scared and mucus was running out of her eyes. She seemed so fragile. She reminded me of myself. I named her Grace because I think my husband sent her to me. She’s my first dog. She’s been pure joy. We spend all our time together. She’s gained her weight back. She comes with me to therapy. We’re getting better together.”

[possumoftheday]

[gracklesong]

Idg why people are against busty women in turtlenecks, literally who cares if you have “uniboob”? To whom do you owe separate and defined titties? Only cowards and fools fear the breast monolith

[dragon-in-a-fez]

do you ever just suddenly learn there’s apparently a whole Discourse you’ve never heard of before

[xplodingunicorn]

[mockwa]

[anarcho-compass]

Jesus

[i-rather-be-lost]

This is so satisfying to watch