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Panic Buttons?

Hey guys!

I know, I know. It's been an incredibly long time since I last updated this blog. In my defense I've been student teaching and the amount of time I actually spend on campus, and therefore using campus bathrooms, is slim to none. But this is all beside the point.

Today I was around on campus, because it's Saturday and I do get to have a life on the weekends, and I decided to go to the library. Even though I'm not taking classes I do still have a butt ton of papers to grade so I said to myself, "Self, you love the library. You should go there to grade papers," and I did.

So as I was sitting in the library I had an urge to use the bathroom, I drank a lot of water this morning. I went to my favorite bathroom in the library, on the L floor, and I was washing my hands I looked to my left and saw the "Panic Button."

Upon seeing said "Panic Button" I was taken back to a conversation I had with my friend Taylor a few months ago about the purpose of the "Panic Button." I remembered that she had mentioned that I should write a blog post about them. She was as baffled by the need for a "Panic Button" in the bathroom as I was and as I'm sure you are too.

This got me to thinking I should actually write a blog post about this mysterious "Panic Button" because I have some free time and I’ll do basically anything to stop grading ninth grade English papers. So, naturally, many questions began to run through my head as I stared at the shiny red plastic button. Why is this button in the bathroom? Why have I never seen them anywhere else on campus? Why just in the library (look in other library bathrooms; they're there too)?

And of course the most important question of all; what does pushing this button do? Pushing the button could cause numerous possible outcomes. Would campus safety come running to my rescue? Would the librarians come running to my rescue? (For some reason thinking about this possibility creates an incredibly funny image in my mind. Probably because I picture this lady running to my rescue.)

Would an alarm sound evacuating the entire library? Would it be traced back to me? Would you get sprayed with permanent ink marking you as the culprit? Would a disco ball descend from the ceiling? Would you cause a state of national panic? Would Panic! at the Disco start playing? (Pardon that terrible joke) Would anything happen? THERE ARE SO MANY POSSIBLE SCENARIOS.

So I didn't push it. Even though it spoke to me. I couldn't bring myself to do it. But I pose the question to you, McDaniel College students, would you press the button? Do you have what it takes to find out what pushing the "Panic Button" does? Let me know. And if you do it, don't tell them I was the inspiration.

Whiteford Revisited

It was brought to my attention that there is another, equally if not more so, private bathroom in the basement of Whiteford that I neglected to blog about previously.

The Second Secret:

This SPB is inside of the basement bathrooms in Whiteford and has its own private toilet and shower inside and a door that locks creating the utmost privacy for the bathroom user. Talk about a hidden secret. Below is a picture of this beauteous bathroom.

There it is in all its private glory. Amazing.

If you’re a freshman lady and live in Whiteford I encourage you to check it out. If I lived there that’s certainly where I’d do my business.

Special thanks to Clarissa Balint for telling me about this bathroom and providing a picture!

Another thing about Blanche

The Showers:

I usually don’t talk about showers... because I just don't. But I was having lunch with a friend today and she brought to my attention the fact that the bathroom floors in Blanche are perpetually wet. For some reason the showers cannot seem to keep the majority of the water INSIDE the shower and instead insist on spewing the water all over the floor of the bathroom. This makes walking into the bathroom barefoot (if that’s your thing), with socks on, or even in shower shoes nearly impossible because inevitably your feet will get wet. Unfortunately there is really nothing we can do about this except make sure that the shower curtains are inside, not outside, the shower. Sadly swamp like floors seem to be the reality of Blanche bathrooms, but they’re still pretty swanky, right?

Blanche Bathrooms

For those of you who don't know, Blanche Ward Hall, or Blanche for short, is one of the many dorms on McDaniel's campus. Usually upperclassmen live there because it’s the nicest dorm on campus, aside from North Village or Gardens but those don’t count because they’re apartments. My home-skilli Kaitlin Mahoney (senior, EPE/Chem major, field hockey/lax player, and all around cool kid) once called it affectionately “Hotel Blanche” because it’s just so gosh darn swanky.

The Good:

So given the general swanky-ness of Blanche one would assume that the bathrooms are equally as impeccable. And generally, one would be right. The bathrooms in Blanche are clean, unless it’s the weekend when they can get kinda grimy, new, fresh, and aesthetically appealing. The frosted windows add a pleasing glow to the bathrooms in the morning light making it slightly more enjoyable to wake up early and shower before heading off to class.

The Bad:

One downside to some of these bathrooms is size. They can be a bit on the smallish side. It’s like the designers tried to fit as many new stalls, showers, and sinks into the preexisting bathrooms as they could. And they succeeded. For example in the bathroom on the second floor next to the stairwell closest to the front door of Blanche there are two stalls, and the two stalls are back to back. It’s very awkward and weird. And when you use that bathroom at the same time as someone else you experience back to back urination/pooping, which no human should have to experience. It’s downright odd. The upside is you’re relieving yourself on a lovely toilet, so there’s something. So the conclusion is Blanche bathrooms are nice, but cramped.

The Best:

Unless of course you have the pleasure of living on the fourth floor in which case the bathrooms are so spacious you could put a common room couch inside, which is a great idea by the way. Someone should do that.

The Hidden SPBs:

In Blanche there are also two elusive bathrooms. As you have all gathered by now, I love a good secret hidden gem type bathroom. The two secret bathrooms in Blanche are both on the first floor. The first one is in the main lobby of the dorm. It’s not as well kept of a secret but it’s a nice size SPB and is a great bathroom for the shy poopers among us. It’s also a good bathroom for the visiting parent, who doesn’t want to walk up four flights of stairs to use the bathroom, or grandparent, who can’t walk up stairs.

The second bathroom is located immediately to your left as you round the corner coming from the main lobby on Blanche. Very few people know about this bathroom because it is not marked and from the outside it simply looks like a storage closet. But in fact it is a handicap bathroom complete with a private toilet and shower. It’s great. The bathroom is nice and spacious, private, and clean because so few people use it. If you live in Blanche, or even if you don’t, you should at least go check it out as it is an exquisite example of a SPB.

The End:

So there you have it folks. Blanche bathrooms, they’re great, most of the time. They also don’t have soap, just hand sanitizer, and no paper towels or hand dryers, which was always weird to me. So bring your own soap to the bathroom or have an RA who is nice enough to provide soap for the floor. Or just use the hand sanitizer provided by good ole McDaniel College. The choice is yours.

Gold Room(s)/Leidy Room/Basement of Glar Bathrooms:

Pleasing the People:

Okay so a lot of people have requested that I blog about the bathrooms near Gold Room(s)/Leidy Room/below Glar. If you don’t know where they are I will briefly explain how to get there. The door next to the girls bathroom by Glar will take you down a flight of stairs, at the bottom of the stairs there is a door to your left, go through that door and the male and female bathrooms are down the hall to your left. You can also reach these bathrooms by going through the door to the pool located under the Glar porch. If you do that go down the hallway straight ahead past the Leidy Room and take a left down the hallway, the bathrooms will be on your right.

So now that you know where they are let me tell you about these bathrooms. There are basically two schools of thought about these bathrooms. People either think they are great because they are so private and pleasantly warm, or people think they are creepy and weird and feel like a sauna. I can see both sides of the arguments in the case of these bathrooms so I will discuss them both.

The Good:

These bathrooms do have the advantage of being incredibly private. I have never encountered another person in these bathrooms and I think the only people that use them are people who have meetings in either of the Gold Rooms, the Leidy Room, or the President’s Dining Room. I don’t even think the swim team uses them because they have their locker room bathrooms and the pool to pee in so they have no need for additional bathrooms. (Yes peeing in the pool is a legit thing, Meg Protzman told me) So privacy is a plus. These bathrooms are also incredibly warm. Some may describe the temperature as stifling but if we’re arguing that these bathrooms are great then it could be a positive. If you enjoy pooping or peeing in a warm environment go to these bathrooms. One could argue that the temperature would “get things going” and help the pooping process along. That’s your call though. So if privacy and warmth are attractive to you go check out these bathrooms.

The Awkward:

Others would argue that these bathrooms are creepy and weird. Since the bathrooms are so unknown on campus when people stumble upon them their initial reaction is usually, “Holy poop there are bathrooms here! That’s so weird and creepy!” Or something like that. Also, like I said before, the bathrooms are HOT. Like if you sit in there too long you’ll start sweating. And they smell like chlorine, which I guess could be appealing to some people but could also deter people from using these bathrooms.

Both the male and the female bathrooms have a large empty room, like so large that a couch could fit in there, immediately when you walk into the bathroom that seemingly has no use, which is pretty weird. The room in the girl’s bathroom is pictured below.

There is a large mirror so that's a plus but I honestly have no clue what the purpose of this room is. I have hypothesized that at some point it was used for people to change into their bathing suits to go swimming. But I could be way off on that one.

The Opinion:

Personally these bathrooms are a little too out of the way and WAY to hot for me to consider frequenting them but if you are really shy about using the bathroom in front of other people they might be a good alternative to dorm style bathrooms.

The Challenge:

If you haven’t been to these bathrooms go. Now. So you can decide. Creepy or incredible? I will leave this decision up to you.

McDaniel Bathrooms now has a Twitter!

For up to date info about McDaniel bathrooms and for easy access to the newest blog posts click the button and follow away. Follow @McDBathrooms <![CDATA[// <![CDATA[ // <![CDATA[ !function(d,s,id){var js,fjs=d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0];if(!d.getElementById(id)){js=d.createElement(s);js.id=id;js.src="//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js";fjs.parentNode.insertBefore(js,fjs);}}(document,"script","twitter-wjs"); // ]]]]]]><![CDATA[><![CDATA[> // ]]]]><![CDATA[>]]>

ALSO this Twitter account is also being used for my New Media Writing class (which spawned the idea for this blog) so ignore the tweets that have #bieberus, or don't ignore them cause you might learn something new, your call.

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The Courtesy Flush

Alright so I’m going to take a brief break from talking about McDaniel Bathrooms and switch gears to talking about bathroom etiquette. Considering we go to a school where more than 75% of the bathrooms are communal I figured talking about this would be a good use of my time because the majority of the time when we are using a bathroom multiple others will use that same bathroom after us. (I made up the statistic about 75% but it seemed accurate in my head so just go with it.)

The "courtey flush" is something that every college student and person in general should know about. Urbandictionary.com defines the “courtesy flush” as, “Flushing the toilet at the exact moment a smelly bowel movement hits the water as to minimize lingering odors that may emanate off the perpetrating poop. Keeping the bowl poop free will keep the bathroom odor to a minimum.” So in case you didn’t know now you do.

The Challenge:

Well friends I think it’s important that we impliment the courtesy flush here at McDaniel. Whether you are using the bathroom in your dorm, in the library, in an academic building, or even your own personal bathroom is you happen to live in North Village, Gardens, or on PA Ave do a courtesy flush. The “courtesy flush” is just as it says, courteous. I think we can slowly start to diminish the lingering poop smell in all bathrooms on campus if we implement this strategy. It also eliminates the potential hazard of toilet clogging, which is never fun.

I think we can all learn a lesson from the Socially Awkward Penguin on this one.

Don't forget it. Even if you're alone in the bathroom. Flush it down and eliminate the odor, pronto.

Hoover Library

Ahh the library, a wonderful place on McDaniel’s campus for studying, researching, working on projects, procrastinating, napping, and of course using the bathroom.

The Problem:

Now, there are a surprisingly small amount of bathrooms in the library given its size (there are five floors) and the amount of students that go there every day. Even though McDaniel has an undergraduate population of less than 2,000 students the library only has bathrooms on three of the five floors and each bathroom has no more than two stalls/urinals, which is kind of crazy. (Side note when the school makes renovations to the library, which should be happening in the near future, they are adding more bathrooms. Excuse me while I get SUPER EXCITED!! Sorry about that. Back to blogging.) While it might seems as though there would never be enough bathrooms for students I have never found myself waiting to use a bathroom in the library, which probably has something to do with statistics, or sociology, or something that has nothing to do with my English major.

If I’m being truthful none of the bathrooms in the library are anything to write home about. They are all dark, dim, and dank, but they get the job done.

Second Floor BBR (Boy's Bathroom):

The second floor bathrooms are located towards the back end of the library (facing the football field). The boy’s bathroom has one stall and one urinal. It’s your regulation normal bathroom. According to my sources it is generally clean but considering the fact that many of the sports teams meet on the second floor for their mandatory study hours during the week I would argue that the boy’s bathroom is one of the more frequently used male bathrooms in the library, so for guys seeking more privacy in the restroom, I would suggest going down stairs to relieve yourself.

Second Floor GBR (Girl's Bathroom):

Now the girl’s bathroom on the second floor on the other hand must have been designed by someone under the influence. It is technically an SPB because there is only one toilet but, and this is where it get’s weird, when you open the door to this SPB there is a stall inside. So it’s like a bathroom within a bathroom. There are two doors you have to open to get to the toilet. I don’t know if I’m doing a good job of explaining this but if you’ve never seen it go and see, it’s weird as poop. And then whoever designed it decided to put two sinks which is baffling to me because only one person can use the bathroom at a time. So like I said some sort of inebriating substance must have been involved when designing that bathroom. But in its defense the bathroom is always clean and stocked with plenty of soap, toilet paper, and paper towels and it is relatively private.

Since this bathroom is a wannabe SPB there is a semi-awkward situation that arises when another girl “walks in on you” while you’re in the stall within the bathroom. Usually when that happens there is a moment of awkwardness when the person realizes someone is in the bathroom, they mumble a quick, “Oh, sorry” under their breath and exit the bathroom. This occurrence is awkward for both the person using the bathroom and the person doing the intruding but thankfully it doesn’t happen all too often.

L Floor BBR:

The guy’s bathrooms on L are pretty much exactly the same as the bathrooms on the second floor. The only noticeable difference is that the stall is bigger and it is typically cleaner and more private because it is used less frequently than the second floor guy’s bathroom.

L Floor GBR:

The girl’s bathroom on L has TWO whole stalls, and one sink, so basically the opposite of the bathrooms on the second floor. That bathroom also has the weird grate covered hole in the ground like the bathroom in Hill, but given the other alternatives of places to relieve yourself in the library it’s not a bad place to go.

The Ugly:

Both the girl’s and guy’s bathrooms on all floors start to smell a little funky as the day goes on because apparently there’s something about the library that makes college kids have to poop on the frequent. And that something is probably Glar. Let’s be real here.

The Secret:

Now here’s where things get riveting, at least for me. This is something I’ve been really excited to blog about because I think it’s a nifty fact that everyone on McDaniel’s campus should know.

So most of you should know that there are two SPBs in Casey’s Corner both of which are spacious, clean, and private treasures on McDaniel’s campus. The best thing about these bathrooms is that they are open 24 hours. They are the only non-dorm bathrooms on campus that are open all the time. This is the secret that I believe everyone should know. It’s not even a secret. It’s a glorious fact. This means that at 2 o’clock in the morning when Decker is locked and you’re walking across Red Square with an immediate need to pee there is hope. You will not pee your pants and become the laughing stock of your friend group because now you know that you can pee in the Casey’s Corner bathrooms. Yes, my friends. This is great news. Share it. McDaniel did something right here and it just shows that as students on this campus we have a safe place to pee/poop on the way back to our dorms that won’t get us written up for public indecency. Can you say McSwagger?

Hill Hall Revisited

So today I was talking to Dr. Mary Bendel-Simso, or Dr. Mary for short, and I was telling her about my bathroom blog. Naturally I told her about my Hill Hall post because Dr. Mary is one of the coolest English professors at McDaniel and her office is in Hill. AND as I was talking to her I found out that I have misinformed you, my lovely audience, about the bathroom situation in the basement of Hill.

Previously I wrote,

"Now in the basement of Hill there also exists a single person bathroom. An SPB as it, and others like it, will be referred to from now on. Some SPBs are great. This one is not. There’s an awkward eye-level window that tends to be left open which is uncomfortable for both the person using the bathroom and the people walking around outside, plus it’s smallish and weird. Also I’m pretty sure it’s supposed to be handicap accessible yet you have to walk down two steps to get to it. So riddle me that."

The suprise, the shock, the horror:

BUT in actuality there are TWO of these SPBs. Craziness. Yes friends located at either end of the hallway in the basement of Hill there are two of these awkward unisex bathrooms. Both have poorly placed eye level windows and are supposedly handicap accessible but aren't due to the fact that they have STAIRS leading down to the door of the bathroom. Yes, my mind was blown too.

And a "Thank You" A special thanks goes out to Dr. Mary for clearing this up and informing me that there did in fact used to be a handicap accessible signs on the doors to both bathrooms. FAIL. She also said she once found a suspicious looking bottle sitting outside the door to one of those bathrooms, so yeah, you may want to avoid them.

#McDaniel #Bathrooms #Hill Hall #English

Whiteford

So because I blogged about Rouzer bathrooms recently I felt it fitting to also discuss the Whiteford bathrooms too. Whiteford and Rouzer each house the majority of the incoming freshmen class on McDaniel's campus. (That is not to discount DMC whose bathrooms will have their moment in the spotlight, I promise) So for those of you who don’t know, that means Whiteford is where the majority of the freshmen girls live at McDaniel and it’s the much nicer counterpart to Rouzer.

The History:

Now for all of you out there who never experienced the “joys” of pre-renovated Whiteford, be thankful. It was a dim and dark place full of pull-out beds, furniture that was stuck to the walls and dust dating back to 1867. But I’m not here to talk about the dorm rooms. I’m here to talk about bathrooms.

The Good:

Whiteford bathrooms are notoriously cleaner that Rouzer bathrooms. They just are. It’s a fact of nature. The grossest thing you might encounter in a Whiteford bathroom is a sink full of Ramen noodles that someone decided to leave there rather than scoop them out with a paper towel. And while that it disgusting I don’t think it compares to someone pooping in the shower, but that’s just me. That bathrooms on each floor in Whiteford have enough stalls so that you’re never kept waiting, they have REAL soap which is a luxury freshmen women shouldn’t take for granted because once you more to dorms like McDaniel or Blanche the only thing to “wash” your hands with in those bathrooms is hand sanitizer, which is kind of gross. The bathrooms are also cleaned daily, and some of the RA’s post a “Toilet Tribune” so you even have nice reading materials while you’re doing your business. There’s even a separate bathroom for boys on the Ground floor so they don’t leave pee on the seats or walk in on you in the bathroom when you’re in your towel. It’s great.

The Secret:

Now I know for a lot of freshmen ladies, and men too but especially ladies, it is hard to adjust to the idea of pooping in a communal bathrooms. I have heard my fair share of stories from girls who didn’t poop for weeks because they were terrified of other people hearing, smelling, or just plain being in the same vicinity as them while they were doing their business. But have no fear, in Whiteford there is a glimmer of hope for those girls who have a rough time… adjusting.

On the Ground floor located next to the aforementioned male bathrooms there exists one of Whiteford’s better kept secrets. There is a privately located two stalled bathroom that is perfect for shy poopers. It is not the most aesthetically appealing bathroom but it gets the job done. I’ve had many a friend tell me that using that bathroom is how they got over their fear of public pooping because even though there was still a risk that someone could walk in while you were pooping, it was far less likely due to the fact that so few people knew about the bathroom. For those of you who thought you would have to hold your poop forever there is a light at the end of the tunnel and it lies deep in the bowels of Whiteford Hall.

The Truth:

Now I know many of you will argue that I just gave away the secret of the Whiteford bathroom. And I will not try and deny that, because I did. But this is one of those secrets that needs sharing. I am confident that ladies who need to take a private deuce will still be able to do so safely within the confines of the bathroom on the ground floor of Whiteford. And hey some of them still might not be able to find it. Maybe it’s like the Room of Requirement and it only appears to those in desperate, desperate need.

#McDaniel #Bathrooms #Whiteford #Freshmen

To further confirm that the bathrooms in the basement of Hill suck... Last night I had a meeting in the basement of Hill. Out of shear laziness I went to go to the girl's bathroom in the basement because I didn't feel like walking up the stairs to the glorious bathrooms on the second floor. And boy do I regret that decision. As soon as I walked in I was greeted with the pictured "Out of Order" sign, a toilet full of pee (which I did take a picture of but decided it was in my best interest not to post that), a ball of hair on the floor, and an unappealing lingering odor. Needless to say all thoughts about the disgustingness of basement bathrooms in Hill were confirmed in that moment.

#McDaniel #Bathrooms #Hill Hall #Out of Order #Fail

The Green Terror LOVES Hill bathrooms! Just not the basement ones. They're creepy!

Using the bathrooms in BMC is like drinking sangria and playing checkers with Leonardo Dicaprio

Ben Shoudy

Big Baker (BMC)

In honor of one of my best friends, Ben Shoudy,

(That's Ben ^^^)

who is studying abroad in Mexico this semester, I’m going to review the bathrooms in Big Baker. Big Baker is home of the Foreign Language, Religious Studies, and Philosophy departments at McDaniel, and it is also a gigantic chapel. There are classrooms, a language lab, and professor’s offices in the basement of Big Baker and upstairs there is a huge open room full of a butt ton of pews and a massive organ. Many different events are held in the chapel including Gospel Choir concerts which are bumpin’.

But enough about the building itself, it’s time to get to the bathrooms.

The Good:

The bathrooms in the basement of Big Baker are lovely. They are very clean, they are always equipped with soap and paper towels, there are A LOT of stalls/urinals to choose from, they have nice lighting, and not many people know about them so they are semi-private.

The Secret:

But Big Baker also houses the crown jewel SPBs. The best one on campus, hands down. (If you recall an SPB is a single person bathroom) There are two of these little gems located in the lobby of Big Baker. There is one to the left and one to the right. These are the bathrooms that my dear friend Ben Shoudy loves so dearly. He so kindly described the joy he gets from using these bathrooms for me all the way from Mexico, and this is what he said.

Just so you know... he likes to call Big Baker BMC, which stands for Baker Memorial Chapel (the building’s proper name) because, “it contains the letters "BM" aka BM Central, or BMC." His words not mine.

The Joy:

Ben: I don’t remember the first time I used a bathroom in BMC but overall, the air temperature is chilly enough so that it gets things moving, but not too cold so that you're uncomfortable. The locks on the door allow you to take your time and it even feels reminiscent of your first trip to the bathroom after a wonderful Thanksgiving dinner in the comforts of your own home. The tall mirror and the elegant faucets allow you to touch up your hair or face without the fear of being walked in on, and the entire experience allows you to poop and really feel like you're a b-list celebrity, like Paul Giamatti. Pictured below.

(For those of you who didn't know who he was. He played the mean boss who turns blue in Big Fat Liar staring Frankie Muniz.)

Ben: Pooping in BMC feels like soaring through the sky on a rainbow. When you’ve got to poop, or even pee, BMC is the place to be.

The Challenge:

So in terms of privacy and luxury it is clear that the SPBs in Big Baker are the place to go. If you’ve never been to those bathrooms I encourage you to check them out. They are as fancy as you can get on McDaniel's campus. I bet that's where they take all the trustees and other VIPs who visit McDaniel to do their business. It might be slightly out of the way, since the chances of you having a class in Big Baker is slim, but if you’re looking for a private place to do your business these bathrooms are certainly worth going out of your way for.

#McDaniel #Bathrooms #Big Baker #Baker Memorial Chapel

The Green Terror cares about bathrooms too.

(Disclaimer: These bathrooms aren't on McDaniel's campus. I found this picture on Google. Cause let's be real, none of the bathrooms at McDaniel are this swanky)

Rouzer Bathrooms

So in deciding to blog about the bathrooms of McDaniel I felt it was not right to ignore dorm bathrooms. Now, don’t ask me why, but I’ve always been intrigued by the bathrooms in Rouzer. Having lived in Whiteford as a freshman and diving into the interesting experience of using a communal bathroom every day I was curious about what the experience was like for the freshmen boys who, unfortunately, have to live in Rouzer.

The Background:

Now if you aren’t familiar with McDaniel, Rouzer is not known for being the cleanest or best place to live. The elevator breaks down frequently, the furniture in common rooms and dorm rooms gets broken a lot, windows get shattered, rats roam the halls and dorm rooms, and the bathrooms are, as you can imagine, disgusting. For this post I had to bring in some back-up. As a freshman I never frequented Rouzer and as for the few times that I did go and I had to pee, I left.

That resulted in me having limited knowledge of the depths of Rouzer’s bathrooms, so I brought in my main broseph Jonathan Snack (sophomore, Social Work major, bathroom expert, deucing extraordinaire) to give me the dirty details.

DISCLAIMER: As I warned you before this is a blog about bathrooms so there will be talk about pooping. So, before you read any further you have to know that Jonathan Snack has no qualms talking about poop and I have no qualms asking him questions about poop. So if you don’t like to talk about poop you might not want to read this post. I think poop is hilarious. While interviewing Jonathan I could not stop laughing, I hope you all get the same joy from reading this post as I did from interview him, and writing it.

Also for those of you who don’t know deucing = pooping. And there you have it.

And the interview begins:

Carrie: How would you describe the bathroom situation in Rouzer?

Jonathan: The situation in Rouzer is disgusting. It always smells no matter what time of day it is It doesn’t matter what’s been left in there, the stench is overwhelming. They aren’t clean ever. The sinks don’t work. There are missing urinals and stall doors. You just can’t really enjoy deucing in Rouzer.

(This all sounds super appealing doesn’t it? Now you see why I was so intrigued.)

Carrie: What about showering?

Jonathan: The shower’s are okay if no one has taken a deuce in them.

(Jonathan is a man of few but eloquent words. He sugar coats nothing.)

Carrie: So did you still use the bathrooms daily even though they were gross?

Jonathan: Yes, even if the bathroom smelled horribly I would still use it. If you gotta go you gotta go. For such a veteran deucer as myself I would push through the stench and still manage to have the complete pooping experience. It might not have been as enjoyable as my usual output but I still managed to get the job done. For novice deucers I do not suggest using the Rouzer bathrooms.

Carrie: What was the most interesting thing you ever saw in a Rouzer bathroom?

Jonathan: The most interesting thing I ever saw was on the second floor. Southside… maybe, don’t quote me on that. There were signs posted around everywhere that ended up leading me to that bathroom. I heard from a friend that I needed to go and see... it.

Carrie: So… what was it?

Jonathan: It was the most magnificent creation I’ve ever seen in my life. There was a poop in one of the toilets that was at least 3.5 inches in diameter and about 6 to 7 inches long. If not longer. It LITCHERALLY was that big.

The first time I went to see it was out of curiosity and the second time it was out of respect. Whoever left this deuce in the toilet knows what it’s like to give birth to a human child.

(By this point I was laughing so hard it was difficult to type. Yes, I have the maturity level of a 12 year old boy.)

Carrie: Any final words?

Jonathan: Overall the everyday experience of dropping one in Rouzer is not that enjoyable, but occasionally one can encounter greatness in the form of a magnificent deuce.

So there you have it. I couldn’t have put it any better myself. Rouzer bathrooms are disgusting but if you enjoy magnificent poops they are the place to go. I would like to thank Jonathan for revisiting his memories of freshman year and sharing with everyone the joy that is using the bathrooms in Rouzer.

I will leave you all with these final words from Jonathan Snack himself, “Good news is worth sharing.” And now it has been shared.

#McDaniel #Bathrooms #Green Terror #Rouzer #Freshmen

Hill Hall Bathrooms

As I mentioned before, I am an English major and as an English major, I spend A LOT of time in Hill Hall. For those of you that don’t go to McDaniel and are just reading this blog because it’s highly amusing, or for those of you that simply don’t know, Hill Hall is the home of the English Department and the Social Work Department. Now, the bathroom situation in Hill is kind of weird. There are no bathrooms on the first floor. I don’t know who designed Hill, probably some old dead guy who didn’t realize the necessity of convenient bathrooms, but poorly situated bathrooms are the sad reality. If you need to pee and you’re on the first floor you must go up or down. It’s your choice.

The Bad (like really gross kind of bad):

So let’s start from the ground and work our way up shall we? If I’m being honest the bathroom in the basement of Hill is not my favorite place to relieve myself. It's creepy. The girl’s bathroom always smells damp, when you flush the toilet you can see the water rushing by your feet through a hole in the ground in the handicap stall, which is disgusting, and when someone poops the smell lingers… forever. Basically, avoid it at all costs. Unless of course you’re lazy and have a class in the basement and the idea of spending a few brief moments relieving yourself in a ick-o gross-o bathroom is more appealing than walking up TWO whole flights of stairs to get to a much more appealing bathroom. From asking friends of the male gender, I have learned that the bathrooms in the basement of Hill are nothing to write home about, so whether you choose to go up or down you’ll be semi-comfortable doing your business and then moseying back to class.

The Awkward:

Now in the basement of Hill there also exists a single person bathroom. An SPB as it, and others like it, will be referred to from now on. Some SPBs are great. This one is not. There’s an awkward eye-level window that tends to be left open which is uncomfortable for both the person using the bathroom and the people walking around outside, plus it’s smallish and weird. Also I’m pretty sure it’s supposed to be handicap accessible yet you have to walk down two steps to get to it. So riddle me that.

The Good:

The second and third floor bathrooms of Hills are great. Both the girl’s and boy’s bathrooms have huge frosted windows that, during the day, illuminate the bathroom with a pleasant white warm glow. It’s truly lovely. They have nice soap, because English professors care about their hand soap (I made that up but I like to think that they do) and the bathrooms are very clean. By any standard, they are great.

The only difference between the second floor bathrooms and the third floor bathrooms is privacy. I would argue that more people use the second floor bathrooms especially when you take into account the fact that people on the first floor probably use the second floor bathrooms because the basement bathrooms are weird. So if you like privacy when you need to drop a deuce, go to the third floor.

#McDaniel #Green Terror #Bathrooms #Hill Hall #English Majors

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