Lost

Amusements, opinions and happenings.

[mcfong]

This week: Buckskin Babes in the Bay with beers, backyards, and broth—

[mcfong]

Top of the mind this morning

What a time to be alive — these days I find myself shielding my vision away from the macro to turn inwards only. It is survival; my community, neighborhood, friends and family; all a calming and healing salve as the larger me attempts to swallow hard truths on my role in a system so defunct and dawning diluted destitution. I need to avoid the various distractions this current system wants for me -- and rather stay synced up with the Self. I’m hoping that the resurrection of this blog keeps me accountable; documenting my inner voice that I’ve perhaps lost focus on these past years running on the autopilot from a life swept up by responsibility and fast pace movement that feels much like ocean swimming; the deepest inhaled breath, head submerged underwater, and arm strokes so vigorously moving in repeat to tear ahead as far as possible -- again and again. But now, I tire. I must recognize calm enough waters to flip myself over into a back float. I must admire the sky buoyant in the idle surrendering to the wild waves i find myself in and rock a little — at least just enough to regain my energy. And if I can regain some energy, I just might enjoy the water a little bit more. In my latest moments afloat i’ve found myself ruminating on the following: - the role that fear plays in keeping us from pursuing the most vulnerable and truest versions of ourselves - A life lived for the pure reason of experiencing joy and love each day in relationships and wonder - Transitioning away from judgement and acting as a consultant when engaged upon in conversation with loved ones - Releasing the hold that shame and guilt have on this chinese-american body and mind - Leaning into the delicious energy of curiosity, whimsy, and a reality in which everything works out as it is supposed to - Allowing a surrender to the tumultuous roil of waves ahead when this fixed state of stillness passes

[mcfong]

Steady Still you can’t control you can’t even begin to know

The Future, it will all pan out you know yourself --with much less doubt

you are standing on the solid ground that you have also built yourself

steady steady grace and pride you’ve come so far to stand this upright

and if you fall for impact you’ll brace and bare it all with a smiling face

because it’s part of the bigger plan --to live each day as best you can.

[mcfong]

1000 pieces of distraction

[missmaggiegilbert-deactivated20]

Visit Original Link

[mcfong]

And all the lines come down heavy on me

It’s been a long week I’m finally feeling like it’s okay to break into a thousand pieces no one can replace only I can find my way It’s been a long day And I just want to hideaway It’s been a long year And everyone around me’s disappeared It’s been a long year And all this mess around me’s finally cleared So can I have a moment just to say hello Can you let your anger go? It’s been a long year And I’m finally ready to be here…

[mcfong]

textured obsession — i’m back babehs!

[mcfong]

How a rude encounter outside a Korean grocery store turned my life around

Little did I know that kimchi was the answer to my prayers.

[mcfong]

I'm not crying, you're crying. sike. I'm cryingggggg.

[mcfong]

Zesty Yogurt Dill Dressing XinJiang Cumin Lamb; marinate overnight - sub soy for amino, Korean pepper flakes Instant Pot, Coconut Rice

[mcfong]

photo dump from Hawaii; a few faves with the faves.

[mcfong]

[mcfong]

I’m a lucky one

despite the dream i had where my mother tried to marry me off to my cousin at a water park i woke up on a peaceful island to the sound of waves crashing up on the shore; i’m slightly exhausted as I didn’t get much sleep last night but I’m more excited to be out and about than most. It is 6:17 am.  I’ve never considered myself to be anything close to a morning person but maybe that’s an additional beauty of Hawaii; waking up ain’t that bad. Once the blurred thought enters my head that a sight to behold is waiting, i just can’t return to sleep.  I’m in Hawaii now with sister and Emily; it’s going swimmingly. We snorkeled yesterday in the lagoon and I saw so many colorful sights of beautiful tropical fish swimming about; i absolutely LOVE tropical fish; their vivid colors and strange shapes matched with their constant suspended bobbing brought on by that fluttering dorsal fin brings me such joy. i snagged a view of a sea turtle, eeeeenormous little mermaid looking eel, a school of beautiful angel fish, butterfly fish, and more with names I don’t know with colors and patterns I simply can’t describe. Should i ever live to be comfortable, i would absolutely love love love a tropical fish tank. Too bad i have absolutely no baseline knowledge. Welp, you know what they say - life is to be learned.  I’m doing my best to be present; in the moment; and naming the emotions I feel as I do; it absolutely helps that I am with people I can be completely myself with -- currently there are hot bodied surfers in the water just ahead of me;  waiting for waves on their boards patiently floating at the edge of the ocean and I contemplate going for a walk so i can get a closer look.  Let’s skedaddle. 

[mcfong]

[mcfong]

Fellow Fruit Fiend

Em: idk who that is but i just hope my kid is like this. A total ham.

M: Two hams marrying each other - it's highly likely you'll have a ham. I hope when you and John do decide to have chilluns it'll have a due date around the holidays so i can reuse this joke -- and call it a holiday ham. I call dibs on that. But also, no hams really necessary for happiness.

Em: I have no other friends who would make that joke. S'all yours bud

M: HAHAHAHHAHHA. SWEET! I'm laughing at your kitchen table -- and you are not here.

EM: I love it

[thatsbelievable]

[mcfong]

YOU’RE THE PRIZE. You’re the goddamn prize.

Fellow Exotic Fruit Friend Enthusiast

[mcfong]