Werewolves to Tailors: Give Us Transformation-Friendly Autumn Looks
The werewolves of Kessig have delivered an autumn ultimatum to their tailors: give us fall fashions which are transformation-friendly while remaining en flic.
“It’s a real problem,” said Arlinn Kord, leader of the spokespack. “I can’t tell you how many times I’ve said, ‘well, I should probably transform and save those orphans from the gitrog monster, but I’m wearing my favorite skinny jeans, and I don’t know if I can find another pair.’”
Kord said that flashy-yet-flexible waistlines could save lives.
“In the time that it takes me to undress, there’s another orphan gone,” she said. “But what am I going to do, wear mom jeans? This isn’t just about looking fabulous over 40. It’s a public safety issue.”
The problem doesn’t just impact fashion, said Melena Marl, a denmother of 12. It also harms family finances.
“I have a whole litter to clothe and feed,” Marl said, “let alone saving for college. I can’t afford to buy 12 new sets of britches every time there’s a full moon. It’s not fair to working packmoms.” Her haberdasher’s bill, Marl said, is “murder on the budget.”
“We’re living in a new, enlightened age,” Kord said. “One where modern werewolves should be able to slay on the catwalk as well as in the forest. I shouldn’t have to choose between saving Innistrad or shopping at Lands’ End. I should be able to have it all.”
“I worked too hard to become the alpha,” Kord told the Guardian, “to have to dress like a basic bitch.”














