hi bbs !!! haven’t rlly been around just bc getting back to school has been an absolute BITCH and a half !!! still sorting out my life but i’ll hopefully be back by next week ! lub u and miss u all
she throws herself on the soft covers of a giant bed, a sigh of enjoyment passing her lips as she flipped to her stomach, her eyes finding the only other person in the room. “ it’s perfect, i mean. it’s so big. “ she winks, clearly amused by the whole situation. “ no girl can complain about the size now, can she? “ obviously referring to his room, she sat herself a up and tapped the bed beside her. “ no murder suspets around either, all the space you could want — there’s a doctor under your roof it’s lit.” she chuckles, her shoulders pushed into a petty shrug. “ i mean sure, you have to live with two snake traitors but it’s a small price to pay for a room like this, no?”
he’s in the middle of unpacking his things –– for the second time in two weeks. he can’t exactly COMPLAIN about his situation here, though: having his own, enormous room was definitely sweet. “ you just speak in innuendos, don’t you ? ” he says before laughing, a shake of his head following. he hangs up one of his favorite button ups –– one of the few presents his parents had given him that actually fit, or suited his needs. free umbrellas from the gift shop at work wasn’t exactly a declaration of love, after all. “ … and we have a dog. we sure this isn’t paradise ? have i died, and suddenly gone to heaven ? ” he knows the answer to that, though –– because heaven would DEFINITELY include a certain special feeling, that he’s certainly missing from his life right now. “ oh, come on –– don’t feel too sad –– it’s not like you’re unwelcome here. we’ve got a couch downstairs that might be comfier than your twin xl. and i’m pretty sure i’m only here because i’ve got half of the dog duties. NOT that i’m complaining. hey –– but if following selene’s rules is the price you have to pay to get your own place, it shouldn’t be too hard, no ? ” he takes a spot next to her on the bed, the very place she had pat a few moments prior. “ i’m sure ari would let you stay with her, too. i guess … i’d offer mine, but … i … ” how does he put this ? “ … i don’t know when i’ll be … having company over. ”
For a moment, there is some sort of confusion in her eyes at his response. Is there a meaning lying underneath his words that she’s supposed to get? Eliza can’t say for certain and so she decides to brush it off as if it was nothing. After all, she can hardly ask him what he meant, right? No, for that, the situation is simply too awkward anyway. “I suppose we will. I mean most likely everybody will be back tomorrow anyway and this little social experiment is over before it really began.” She shrugs slightly as if it’s no big deal, but, to be perfectly honest, with every passing hour she grows less and less certain of that actually coming true. Not that she’d ever admit that out loud. Not now. Not even to the person she once trusted more than anybody else in the whole world. Who still matters to her most.
All of this doesn’t matter right now, though, none of that sadness, of that nostalgia, of that awkwardness, of that insecurities matter, not right now. She doesn’t want to waste what might be her last night on all of that crap, she wants to enjoy it as best as she can, given the circumstances, and she sure as hell wants to spend it with the person standing right in front of her. Only 15 minutes ago that thought would have never crossed her mind. She’d have never assumed that after months of staying as far from him as possible, all she wants to do is spend time with him, to not let this conversation come to an end. That is not until she almost ran into him.
“Some boxes, hmm?”, Eliza responds, her head slightly tilted to the right, and a playful expression in her eyes, “anything I should try as well if that really is our last night?” To be honest, she isn’t sure if she wants to know what he’s done so far - and she definitely doesn’t want to know if other girls are involved -, but she can’t keep herself from at least inquiring a little nonetheless. Maverick’s question elicits an amused chuckle from her lips and she gives him a little smirk. “I wouldn’t necessarily call it trouble, but yes, maybe”, she then says and shrugs just slightly, “I mean this is the end of the world, isn’t it? And you’ve probably realized by now that I don’t want to have any regrets, that I don’t want to waste any opportunity.” If they didn’t all say that the world was going to end tonight, they wouldn’t even be having this conversation. Hell, she wouldn’t even be thinking about it. But now that fate threw them together again - and it has to have been fate, right? -, she can’t just go again, she can’t let this opportunity pass unused, even though she still has no idea what she even wants from him right now. She has no plans for this interaction, she’ll just have to go with the flow.
a THOUSAND thoughts run through his mind, most of them wanting her again. holding her, kissing her, pushing a stray hair of hers behind her ears. it’s impossible not to want those things, standing here in front of him, shining her eyes at him like she used to, knowing how much it made maverick’s heart MELT –– she had that power. she still did, as much as he doesn’t want to admit it. because there’s an ache in his heart that wants to scream out at her, to tell her he still loves her, and yet another ache –– a stronger pain, one that reminds him how easily she broke him. how easy it would be for her to do it again –– if only she knew the power she had over him still, three months later, in this strange, STRANGE universe.
“ um … i mean, different bucket lists, yeah ? the jungle juice, though –– would stay away from that. ” his eyes glance over at the table, a container of foul-looking liquid still garnering far too much attention. but mostly, he brings it up as a means of distraction. if he knows her like he still THINKS he does, she wouldn’t want anything to do with the pills in his pocket, the girls he sees purely to fulfill his intense feeling of loneliness: he can’t sleep alone in his bed anymore. it’s a fact. he’d end up laying on one side, remembering the nights she’d be there with him, and he’d go through the motions: punching himself for not seeing his flaws, crying over the fact that eliza ever thought she wasn’t enough for him, and finally restraining himself from calling her, calling her a thousand times to apologize and ask for forgiveness. it’s still the one thing he CRAVES, more than anything. “ no regrets, huh ? ” and nothing about their relationship. why would she, when she literally thought he cheated on her ? what was there to regret ? she doesn’t miss you, he has to tell himself, a voice practically YELLING at him so that it sticks in his brain, so that he believes it. “ anyway … um … i hope it happens for you. no regrets and all. maybe find a bit of trouble, ” he manages to smile a little, but the way his nerves tug at his lips only creates the smallest of smiles. but he needs to get away, before she can find her grasp on him again –– besides, he’s no GOOD for her anymore, anyway. he’s half-drunk, half fucked up on god-knows-what, and certainly a bigger asshole than he’d ever been before. he doesn’t get to have her, can’t allow himself to be drunk on her smile, even on this last goddamned night … “ have a good night, e. take care of yourself, yeah ? ” he doesn’t wait for her answer before walking away, fearing for the river of tears that could come streaming down his face, if he sees her hurt again.
moving into the house was easy —– she learned to not take everything she owned , she learned to pack clothes that were sensible , shoes that were comfortable , and maybe an accessory or two . standing to her feet , she rounds the corner of the common room , plopping down on the couch . it’s late , she’s having a hard time going back to sleep after everything . but unlike the others —- ben’s death hadn’t taken a toll on her shoulders , not like the uncertainty of it had before . now she could rest , knowing that the real culprit were behind bars , and not possibly rooming with her sister . long dark hair is tossed down to the small of her back , and she stretches her legs out onto his lap . “you know , it’s weird they gave us this house .” a pause , and she’s looking around . you could practically feel the way the air shifted when it was announced , the way side glances were stirred in long stares . she doesn’t question it , the mortality of the whole thing . instead , she’ll consider herself lucky , and hope an uprising is simply her worst case scenario brain , hard at work . nonetheless , she’ll keep an ear pressed to the door , listening for —– listening for anything .
“there must have been someone here with a problem before us-” it’s quiet , nonchalant , looking down at her hands as she picked away at the chips in black polish . “they left a pill bottle under the sink —” probably whoever lived here before – before everything went to shit , before they packed their things and huddled together like mice . god , before everything felt so damn complicated all the time . “it’s oxy , i figured i’d save it for when layton and esme get back , put it up in the hospital , before anyone realizes that we have it .” that was a practical plan , locking it up for safe keeping just in case anybody needed it . with the way things were going now , there was no telling when shit would hit the fan . maybe , it’d actually come in handy . @mcveriicks
he’d been surprised to be on the short list of lucky names to be able to move into a new house –– though he was CERTAIN that it was just because of his newfound joint custody of the dog he and esme were to care for. it’d be easier, of course, if both of its adopted parents lived in the same house. he didn’t mind, obviously –– having his own room returned freedoms ( more likely, sins ) to him that weren’t quite accessible, sharing quarters with over nine others. maverick was incredibly grateful to have his own privacy again, without the fear of someone looking over his shoulder to see who he was texting or what he was ingesting.
and most of him was glad to live with ari, too –– a dear friend, and one he was happy for, finally getting out of that twin bed would do wonders for her. he’s still in the process of moving in, currently holding a box that contains some of his notebooks, his most prized possessions. “ huh, yeah. weird, ” he huffs, an eyebrow furrows. his mind immediately races to the POSSIBILITY, one that maps out the perfect time to snatch the bottle for himself. it’s unhealthy –– his obsession with wanting to feel anything than what his body naturally wants him to feel. as if he’s purposely shutting it OUT. he doesn’t like to deal with reality, not with so much uncertainty. the playground that halloway used to be doesn’t feel at all like FUN. he had once been excited to document the decisions his peers would collectively make, analyze them, too –– but now ? two weeks later ? he’s equally as intrigued, but entirely less motivated. “ yeah –– that’s a good idea. i mean, i’m sure they didn’t know when they put us in here, let alone check every cabinet for possible resources –– even if it is a good idea. ” he just needs to follow through with it before selene does; who knows what else he’ll be able to find to … satiate his needs. “ it’s nice, though. having space –– like we can finally breathe again. and you –– you’ve finally got your own room. how does it feel to be living in the lap of luxury ? ” a strategic move, to pivot the conversation. perhaps if ari forgot about the small orange bottle, she’d forget about it later –– or at least, think she’d misplaced it.
the answer to his question. no she didn’t. running from her problems though was something she absolutely did. being face to face with maverick right now made her blood rush. “no maverick, i do not think that lowly of you. it just all happened so fast. i don’t know why i did i just did,” she could feel the tears trying to push through. damn it don’t you fucking cry lilah. her small pep talk wasn’t really helping. “i freaked out ok. i freaked because i didn’t know how to handle it all. i didn’t anticipate sleeping with you at all. gosh i am so so stupid. i shouldn’t have ignored you. i admit that. i am the worst fucking person. is that what you wanted to hear?,” she took in a sharp breathe trying to keep her calm. her anger rose as he accused her of not being his friend. “excuse me? not my friend? you were my absolute best friend. i would do anything for you. or would have. you’re right i take responsibility i shouldn’t have ghosted you,” her palms covered her eyes as her tears broke through. “i’m sorry,” her voice barely audited. this is not how she wanted to spend the rest of her life. fighting with the person who used to be her best friend. well until she fucked up mixing alcohol with stupid decisions.
shit. maverick didn’t mean to push her to near-tears. this entire time, he’d been so caught up in the fact that SHE had put an obstacle between them, and lost sight of the fact that it was their friendship that he missed. his arrogance had certainly gotten the best of him, his need to be RIGHT trumping the fact that he could be hurting one of his dear friends in the process. “ no –– jesus, no, lilah. i just … ” he pauses, wanting to make sure he gets the right words across with the right sentiment this time –– without rage or any other emotion getting in the way. “ … i’m sorry, too. i guess … ” my abandonment issues got the best of me ? “ … losing people has always been HARD for me. like, abnormally, unhealthily hard. and i took it poorly, because i know it was partially my fault. and i just … ” cue a breath, one that calms his beating heart. “ i tried to push through it without wanting to correct it. without trying to talk to you about it, i just wanted it to go away. ” his eyes are vulnerable, near tears as well –– but if maverick knows anything, its that he wants to prove that he’s a stronger person than he had been years ago.
now could be the time to gloat –– the rivalry that BLOSSOMED between selene and maverick sparked from a single tug. maverick’s earbud had been stolen away from him, replaced with a snarky comment, and voila, a hatred sprouted. but that certainly didn’t mean that he didn’t know she wasn’t capable.
in fact, the only reason maverick gave her the time of day, the only reason mav saw a reason to ARGUE with her was because he knew she was capable. with that sharp a wit, she kept him on his toes. she knew every side to every argument –– and never let up. which was why it was so surprising to see selene be vulnerable with him. it was FOREIGN, and an opportunity ripe for the picking, but maverick couldn’t do it.
because truth be told, he was scared too. there were no professors to bounce ideas off of, no police to enforce their laws ( not that he was particularly in favor of some, but he had to admit –– rules and guidelines did help society move forward as a whole ). and to put the pressure onto a twenty year old girl, with little to no help ? let’s just say, maverick was GLAD he was not given that duty, that responsibility. he would have conceded it immediately, if he were nominated anyway.
“ selene, ” he sighs, leaning forward. “ i know i’m an asshole to you most of the time, but i’m not kidding or being malicious or have any ulterior motives when i say that you, out of all people, are capable of doing this. you’re a fantastic leader, even though it hurts to admit –– ” brown hues glance at her soft features. this version of her is a STRANGER to him. “ –– nobody’s more capable. i know it. because nobody else sees through my bullshit like you do. and that’s going to be important –– being able to stand your ground. people are going to try and walk all over you, just like they always do, with people like you and me. but i’ve seen you do it before. you can do this. ” he gently rests a hand on her forearm, a simple sign of re-assurance. “ and don’t use this against me, but if it makes you feel any better, i’m scared too. scared shitless. ” he smiles at her, hoping that his words might encourage her even the slightest.
“ you know, this wasn’t really quite the DYSTOPIA i thought i’d experience. i really thought zombies were more plausible than this –– but i guess a faux reality is a little more unsettling, ” maverick ponders aloud. “ doomed –– i mean, yes. possibly. i guess we’ll see how long selene lasts before anarchy is unleashed, ” he says with a wink –– though there’s a hint of fear in his voice. the unknown is a vast and scary place, but this ? there was no precedent of early civilization with the technologies they had. maverick is certainly intrigued to see how things unfold.
maverick: dnt wrry about it i’ll clean it up tmrw i promise
maverick: thank u ffor dealing with me and my craziness
send 💜 for a compassionate text message
maverick: thanks for looking out for me, dude. i know i don’t say it enough but it’s actually incredibly comforting knowing that i have someone like you
maverick: and on that note, if you’re ever having a hard time or anything don’t hesitate to just ask for anything, yeah? you’ve done enough for me it’s time for me to start repaying that debt
maverick: and i know i’m maybe not the BEST guy to ask for advice, but i’ll try my hardest
maverick, voicemail: “ heeeeey saint, i don’t know wh i’m just calling from this other dude’s phone but i’ve kind of completely lost mine out … somewhere. yeah, anyway, don’t bother calling back when you get this but yeah. also i lost my keys, can i sleep at yours? i’m at the painted keg pls come get me, thanks dude. i owe you. ”
send 😴 for the last thing my muse sent yours before falling asleep
maverick: dude all i can think about is the pasta you made tonight i’m going to dream about it i swear
send 💕 for a loving text message
maverick: thank you for making me food and packing it up i know i’ve been an absolute mess recently and thank you for letting me sleep on the couch
maverick: i just can’t bring myself to go back to my room right now
maverick: btw if the quality of your cooking is a reflection of the quality of your love for me then i am blushing
maverick: who needs girls when you have anthony calderas
send 💬 for my muse to admit something
maverick: dude this is going to be sappy as shit but i just spent a good hour thinking about this and how grateful i am for you but
maverick: literally you’re like the brother i never had and i can’t thank you enough for all that you’ve done for me and how much you support me i can’t believe i was so lucky to find someone like you to bring me in
maverick: you’re living proof that family isn’t just blood
most of the following texts are old / previous texts unless otherwise specified.
send 📞 for a voicemail that my muse left yours
maverick, voicemail: “ hi e, i just saw your texts and i’d respond but i’ve got a lot on my hands right now. literally. haha. okay, but yeah, i hope you’re joking when you said to ‘shut up or you’ll assume i won’t want to do it’, because of course i want to. you drive me crazy in the best ways buuuut i also want to make sure you’re ready and we’re not rushing anything because i love you and i want you to feel safe, okay? anyway, you already know that but i can’t wait to see you babe. okay, goodbye, i’ll see you after practice. ”
send 💔 for a heartbreaking text message
[ unsent ]
maverick: i’m sorry that you ever thought you were never enough for me because the truth is you are the only thing that is enough for me. there’s nothing else, no one else i want more than you because you make me the best version of myself and i can feel that slipping away every day we’re apart. i love you.
send ✉️ for an unsent text message
[ unsent ]
maverick: i still cry sometimes about what we could have been if i hadn’t fucked up everything for us. you deserve better
send 😴 for the last thing my muse sent yours before falling asleep
maverick: i miss you i can’t wait until you’re in my arms again and we can talk about life and random things until we fall asleep
send 😲 for a shocking voicemail my muse left yours
maverick, voicemail: “ hi babe, so i just got off the phone with my parents. i know, i know, yeah –– no, they called me. shocking, right ? anyway, i told them about you and they actually seemed really happy for me. and if you’re interested, they want to meet you at some point, maybe we can go up to d.c. for a weekend and you can meet them. but it’s up to you, if you’re busy it’s no biggie, i’m sure they’ll be busy as fuck too. anyway, i’m rushing to class right now so i couldn’t text all of this to you but i just wanted to let you know. love you, i’ll see you later. ”
send 😍 for what your muses contact name in their phone
previously: eliza 💖✨💕
currently: eliza watson
send 👀 for a risky text message
maverick: babe i know you’re in class but
maverick: i hate you for this
maverick: i didn’t even realize until i walked outside and someone stared at me with crazy judgmental eyes
send 🎧 for your muses ringtone
answered here ( he doesn’t have specific ringtones for each person ).
send 📸 for your muses contact picture
send 💜 for a compassionate text message
[ before they were together ]
maverick: thank you for telling me about your dad tonight. i know it’s not easy to talk about someone who means so much and so little at the same time –– maybe we can meet up for coffee tomorrow and we can talk about my daddy issues too. they’re eerily similar
maverick: only if you’re free and want to though
send 💕 for a loving text message
maverick: i saw you across the street but i was running late to class so i didn’t stop and say hi
maverick: but i just wanted to say you look beautiful and i can’t believe you’re mine
send 💬 for my muse to admit something
maverick: i didn’t know i could be jealous but when i’m not around you and someone else is i just want to steal you away from them and have you all to myself
maverick: ok that sounds controlling but i just want to be around you all the time i love you
send 🙊 for an old text message my muse sent
maverick: friday @ 7, dinner ? you can pick where
maverick: and yes, i do usually ask girls before i bring them on dates but it’s been a while since i’ve actually been this excited about one
send 👅 for a flirty text message
maverick: baby i can’t stop thinking about you
maverick: and how your lips felt on my neck last night
send 🤐 for an accidental text message
maverick: bro i’m …… so whipped it’s not funny like all i want to do is make her happy
maverick: woops
maverick: well now u know <3
send 😤 for an angry text/voicemail
maverick: look i’m sorry but i saw my netflix activity
maverick: BUT YOU STARTED WATCHING THE CONSPIRACIES DOCUMENTARY SERIES WITHOUT ME ?????????????????????
maverick: i’m angry, and you are not forgiven unless you start over with me
send 😱 for a scared text message
[ also unsent ]
maverick: i’m scared i’ll never be good enough for you again
send 🌙 for a late night text message
maverick: i know we’re hundreds of miles away but i miss you and love you and it’s not the same going to sleep without you in my arms and talking about random shit and even getting into little arguments on utilitarian ethics i love you
maverick: i can’t wait to be back and see you, only a few more days
maverick sighs, looking at the sad plate of food he’d ATTEMPTED to cook for saint, who had been glued to his bed for the past forty-eight hours. in his defense, it still looks like a damn good grilled cheese to him, but perhaps not to his best friend, who is a culinary MASTERMIND. “ i know i’m not the best chef, dude, but you’ve got to eat at some point, ” he encourages, hand resting gently on saint’s shoulder. “ i even spread mayo on the sides like you taught me, ” maverick adds, hoping the small bit of thought would count for something, but it seems that saint is still insistent. “ okay –– um, just text me if you need anything then, yeah ? if you want me to pick up something better, just let me know. ”
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