I’m stuck in this sad lumber where hell dwells up and down. I have been slowly giving up on my marriage. I care less and less but the problem is that I still care some. I know it’s over. It has nothing to do with love. Drugs has came and took his heart, mind, body and soul. He is no longer married to me. He’s married to the needle. There is a huge part of me that know he has died and he may never be able to be revived. Then there is a small part that still has hope that he will come back to me. There are these glimpse of happiness when I forget and he seems ok and I cling on to these moments like a security blanket. It tricks me into feeling something for him and then that tiny peace of hope ducks me up. Like last night I asked if him n me could spend the day together and he said yes. I hate that tiny bit of hope. That sliver of a chance that he can be a real man. Then just like always. The fucking let down and then I’m stuck in limbo. I’m sure he will be in jail soon and it will crush me but I just wish it would go ahead and happen soon so I can get out of limbo and get on with my life. Because the way I’m living now isn’t living at all. Its almost like I can see myself disappearing before my own eyes. He’s draining the life source right out of me and there is nothing I can do but watch.
areudirty
blakekathryn
izzy806
prguitarman
