Bruce Wayne is protected by everyone.
not batman, but Bruce, persona and all. and by everyone, i mean everyfuckingone. not just by his deceased parents, Alfred, his kids, and his city. everyone, and bruce being bruce— he's completely oblivious by it.
★ we all know bruce has slept with a good amount of people, yes? but there's a question among teenagers throughout every social media there is, why has no one ever, even just one! posted such experience with bruce? and it's still such a mystery if THE Gotham's prince tops or bottoms.
little do gotham sweetheart's know, someone did. proudly even, gaining 30,000 viewers with just one post of how the night had been, how beautifully bruce had been under him, spread and all.
The man loved the retweets he had gotten, and don't get him started with the followers he had suddenly received! he gained a thousand just in an hour. the comments bombarded with questions, "did you take a video?, please tell me you have pictures?!" it was utterly selfish, disgusting even if one might say, it was horrendous how such an intimate moment was turned into a media frenzy. and the worst part? Bruce had no idea. the man made sure of it, and he loved it. the attention, the likes, the sudden followers! he's enjo—
user @a had commented on your post!
if this ridiculous of a post still up within an hour, Wilson Perry. I will kindly visit you at your humble abode,* address*, and personally give you a piece of my fucking mind, lad. don't even get me started with your eighteen-hundred thousand pitiful debt, boy. keep this up, and i won't even bother uttering another word, just straight up documents, you pathetic excuse of a man. *pictures of reference of said debts, scandals, deals of scams*
And gone. Under 10 minutes, all of the existing accounts of every social media the man had? gone. gothamite's knew better than to ever speak of this again, and to this day flings of bruce wayne had it as a reminder, "keep it to yourself."
★ Dick, as a sweetheart he is totally known by, gothamite's will never forget just how outrageous of an outburst the young lad had put on, on the early days when bruce wayne had just been cat called.
it was not a new for bruce, of course. but for dick? God, give the man who's dick about to fucking tackle strength.
"Richard! get off the man!," bruce yelled. "what?! no! b, he's a poor excuse of a man! stop squirming, fucker— b, I'm not dOnE with hIM YET!!", Bruce having to restraint dick after apologizing over and over again to the man, and the media. "He's not always like this, i assure you." bruce apologizing, and honest to God, frustrated.
"Tsk. If you had parented the child better, maybe he'd keep his hands to himse—", "oh, fuck off, old man! if you had been parented better, maybe you'd know how to keep your mouth shut!" Dick having to intervene the man, "and also? i bet your dick isn't even th— mmmffp!!!", "I am so sorry. We are leaving" Bruce, flashing a quick smile, and quickly dragging a squirming toddler.
as farther they go, a loud laugh and a clear yell was heard, "YOUR DICK'S SMALL, AND WRINKLY, OLD MAN!", a laughing toddler who's being pushed inside a limousine flashing a middle finger, straight to the direction where they left. "Richard!"
later that night, at Wayne Manor kitchen: "did i do good, alfie?", dick, munching a cookie. "most certainly, master dick. as promised, a cookie for bravery."
and that accident continued as more of bruce's children multiplied, to this day it still happened. well, at least now it is tamed. Though, is it really..? a slight look at his obscenely, outrageous sculpted body? a brooding 6'7 of a man named Jason will probably tear a hole in your head, clean as a headshot by how piercing his gaze is you're monitored the whole gala, bud. a brush of a finger on his perfectly tailored suit has his son, Tim, following you "innocently" while discussing your unannounced corrupted files, deals, and contracts out in the public. wait. how'd he even know that? even a dirty joke won't pass by, his children will keep their eye on you, the WHOLE night. possibly follow you home, but there's no evidence yet. (they swore they saw a 4'11 child outside their window with a katana, with batman with him? no wait, that's a girl. batgirl. wait– is that a gun in her hand? what.)
Alfred and Dick high-fives occasionally when this happens, like yes, go baby bats, protect bruce, protect mama bat.
★ Gotham has it's on ways on protecting Bruce. Scandals of bruce the gazette publish? fake, until there's no official announcement of WE official accounts, it is hereby, fake. Kidnaps that ends up with bruce finding himself not getting hurt at all, you know what happens? "holy batman! We just kidnapped THE Bruce Wayne. can we get an autograph? My God, you're more beautiful up-close." and after signing, he's left back outside the W.E tower. like, what? criminals had taken a silent agreement, to not hurt gotham's prince without a reason. or they'll find themselves surrounded by the bat's associates. maybe bruce's got a special heart on batman to have him be prioritised like that.
Gothamite's are an absolute defender of their one and only, playboy, air-head, the sunshine of Gotham. they're absolutely thankful for him. he's everything. omg they're very protective of him.
Bruce you are so fucking loved by all
