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Maria, 23, northern California ✌ This resembled a real blog at some point but then television took over my life.

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Aubrey Plaza

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One time I was playing The Sims. My kid had a soccer game, and while the teams were huddled up, I changed to buy mode and put washing machines around the opposing team, enclosing them within their detergent scented prison. Thanks to my ingenious strategy, my child’s team was able to take the ball from the opposite goalie and score repeatedly. By the time the clock ran out, we were up 46-0, and the opposing team was sobbing in puddles of their own piss. I am the best soccer mom.

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The more you love your own decisions the less you need others to love them.

OCC (via onlinecounsellingcollege)

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same

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#me during the super bowl like

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