Things do not seem real. I can hardly believe that we are on a plane headed back to SLC right now. What a beautiful mess of an experience getting primal and exploring our hearts. This had been on my bucket list for quite some time now, and the day that we flew out to Kauai it didn't feel real until we got into Marta's car in Lihue and that's when it felt like... "hm, are we seriously doing this? Yes.... yes we are!" And now here we are having packed up our tent and everything that we brought to Kauai, we have raced through the airport and are only 2 hrs from landing in Salt Lake and quiet literally hitting the "resume" button on our lives. We will go back to the same job, same living arrangement, same car, same church, same... everything. The only exception is that we just spent 3 months getting down and dirty (with the earth, ofcourse) and I am worried that we will feel, or at least that I will feel like an outsider back in what I call "the real world" AKA "Modern civilization on mainland". You could have read every blog post, and studied every photo, but until you've lived it, you have literally no idea. Our minds and bodies have been on a wild ride of transformation since arriving at the farm. All I keep thinking is, "We did it!". We freaking made it until the end. Some people didn't think we would last. Even people at Moloa'a said when we arrived they thought we wouldn't stick it out because of how we looked and how badly the bugs were biting us. But we did it!!!! I squatted to pee probably 500 times since being here. We've taken ice cold showers with birds churping at us like we were in a Disney movie. We've stepped on the damn sleeping grass barefoot a million and one times, ate poundsss of mediocre rice, spent an embarrassing amount of money on Date with Fate smoothies and Komboocha, consistently woken up by roosters early morning, been caught in the rain storms while out in the feild harvesting, felt the stress and pride of being on the largest producing organic farm on Kauai, spent hours and hours sticking out our thumbs trying to save money by hitch hiking, met people from all sorts of back grounds, had our teeth full of purple Acai bits from the bowls at the Anahola juice hale, been disrespected by hawaiian locals and at times praised for being 'locals' covered in red mud... I could go on and on, but my point is that God used Kauai to change me and point out what things still needed to be worked on emotionally, but he surrounded me with beautiful scenery to take the sting away. I've got to give a big shout out to Adam. He's my travel partner/best friend/cuddle buddy/companion/cheerleader and all sorts of other things but I give him lots of reasons to NOT be nice to me (mostly in moments when I am hot, or hungry.... or tired or stressed or hurt..!!!!!) and yet... he still loves me more than I deserve. Like, WAY more than I deserve. Today in the airport, we arrived in Honolulu and only had a little time to get food before the flight and so we were on this mad dash to find something to eat, and after getting so frustrated, I literally told him (and I can't belive I said this), "I am so freaking hungry I don't even want to eat!!!!!" But that was a lie! It was just that nothing sounded good enough but boy did I want to eat! I told him, "you find somewhere to eat on your own and If i see somewhere I like, I'll get something seperate" and he got sad because he wanted to eat WITH me, not alone! Haha ok yeah that's Adam! He's so sweet to me and so freaking patient- I don't know how he does it, but I'm thankful that he is quick to forgive and slow to anger. Not to mention that he did this whole adventure because he wanted to make MY wacky dream come true. <3
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