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the backrooms movie made me realize that my deepest fear isn't monsters or labyrinths or even death. it's failure.
seeing clark divorced, struggling with money, no friends, sitting and drinking and festering in his own self pity brought tears to my eyes faster than anything ever had before.
I saw him out of breath hopping around on the peg leg with the pirate impression talking about how you don't even need credit to buy from him and I was so close to sobbing it wasn't even funny. putting on a face when you're breaking down inside with no hope is terrifying to me.
I was so sad during the kitchen table scene because everything Mary said was true, he was lost now. It's like seeing someone you wished would succeed just give up and fall asleep in their grave.
Clark is gonna stick with me for a long time.
My fear is being a bad person, especially since I fear, like, if I'm considered not good NOW, would I even genuinely wanna change myself, or would it feel like losing the real self I've had, forever, in the process? Especially since Clark re-frames some of his traits as just him being a little bit weird and quirky, or as a part of how he's wired (which Mary literally points out). I thought to myself I'd swear to change if I needed to, so that I wouldn't be like Clark, but wouldn't I miss myself and become a completely different person? He's such a scary person to relate to - so scary to me, but am I even HALF that different from him?!
" #clark is like me because I don’t realize the consequences to my actions #someone’s mad at me because if something I did? wallow in self pity #I’m not where I want to be in life? wallow in self pity #and I hope that I can change or realize I need to change because my people might leave me like how clark’s people left him "
LOL same, except I personally may know it's because of me, and then proceed to cry and not change, and cry about my platonic love life. I hope Clarks can realize they need to change, but I doubt I can. I'm in the role of Mary, often, with people, but I act like a Clark. I can be quite mean/toxic and lash out, which is especially bad since it's often at people who already need help (which I of course can't provide for shit). Even if everyone left me on EARTH, I probably won't change. Even if stuff consumed me - like Clark I guess - I probably won't change. Maybe it's the other person's communication issues, since I'm so honest about my emotions, or maybe I just won't change. Already NOW I'm having all that self-pity.
This might be a hot take, but I thought what they did for the "monster" of the Backrooms was ABSOLUTELY GENIUS! How it organically builds upon how the Backrooms work, how it connects to the real world and its people (specifically Clark), and how it creates something that is dangerous and terrifying, and yet at the same time, frighteningly human!
Let me ask you something. Do you think it's interesting that out of all the "people" that were in the Backrooms, Clark's was the only one that was actually dangerous and was actually going around killing people? That's because the Backrooms remembers things in the real world, and "the more times it remembers, the less it does" until it only remembers the details that stand out the most, like how, when you remember a childhood bedroom, you only remember specific furniture or decorations. And the same goes for people!
Because Clark's life is dominated by his anxieties, frustration, fears, and, most importantly, his desire to lash out at everything he thinks is to blame, the Backrooms only remembered those negative feelings. And eventually they all culminated into this dangerous entity. Just like how he lashed out and attacked others that he believes are the fault of where he is, this entity of his own (unintentional) making lashes out and attacks everyone in sight, because, as you can see by the expression on its face, it too is driven by those same anxieties and fears!
That's what makes this my favourite Backrooms entity! Because it's not just another murderous fiend that kills for the heck of it. It's something that beautifully and brilliantly connects to the world it's a part of, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY THE PEOPLE IN THE WORLD, and helps make Clark one of the best horror movie "villains" in recent memory!
Watched the backrooms movie after like almost a month of it releasing because my shitty free website got taken down and I had too find something else (and I call myself a horror fan💔) and I just have too say holy fucking shitballs
If this is the future of horror I want it 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
I watched Backrooms
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Don't forget
Sketched out motoko recently due to the new GITS airing!
My latest hyperfixation: ghost in the shell. I've seen both the original movies and the first season of stand alone complex. Very excited to watch the new anime when Im finally able to watch it, i might start reading the manga first but buying books is expensive : [
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An echidna taking a small break, from some streams ago!
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