Run for your life!

[mechaamish]

I realize I’m a twelve year old for laughing at this

[mechaamish]

Same

[mechaamish]

Jesus, apparently Michael Jordan doesn’t do anything half-ass.

[mechaamish]

NO, GODDAMNIT! I SAID MORE ANTENNAS! MORE ANTENNAS! TRUST ME, THIS SHIT WORKED FOR RAZOR BLADES AND IT WILL WORK FOR WHATEVER THE FUCK THIS THING IS TOO!

[mechaamish]

This Valentine’s day, come to beautiful Rock City TN and stand where distraught lovers once stood, crippled by depression, before flinging themselves to their deaths.

[mechaamish]

“He leans down and kisses me, his fingers still moving rhythmically inside me, his thumb circling and pressing. His other hand scoops my hair off my head and holds my head in place. His tongue mirrors the actions of his fingers, claiming me. My legs begin to stiffen as I push against his hand. He gentles his hand, so I’m brought back from the brink ... I come instantly again and again, falling apart beneath him … then I’m building again … I climax anew, calling out his name.”

[mechaamish]

Also, they are masturbating.

[mechaamish]

FUCK YEAH SURVEYS!!!!

[mechaamish]

S O U L 👊 👊 M A T E

[mechaamish]

HoloLens

http://www.microsoft.com/microsoft-hololens/en-us

How long do you think it will take for someone to make a HoloLens app that just puts giant floppy dildo hat holograms on nearby people?

WHAAAAA -- DID I JUST COME UP WITH A MILLION DOLLAR APP?!?!?!?!?

[mechaamish]

TOUCHDOWN, BALDWIN!

WHAT KIND OF AN ASSHOLE CELEBRATES A TOUCHDOWN BY UPDATING AN EXCEL SPREADSHEET?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NLddPakLF1I&t=1m46s

[mechaamish]

Jesus Christ, did someone at Blackberry come up their new phone line after watching "The Producers"?

[mechaamish]

So what's the over/under that this thing comes with a belt holster?

[mechaamish]

You learn a lot about your users from search metrics

"…hanukkah and hermaphrodite are neck and neck in the results."

[mechaamish]

These two books were correctly placed in the same section.

[mechaamish]

Say, sweet thang, can I buy you a fish sandwich...

In what was one of the most creepy and awkward conversations I've ever had, today an 80-year-old and self-professed "dirty old man" tried to pick me up. In a church. At the end of my friend's funeral/memorial service. Before everyone had even cleared out of the sanctuary. (Yes, he gave me digits)

The weird thing is how it didn't make me feel "pretty" at all.

[mechaamish]

The Chrome plugin, "Cloud To Butt Plus", may be the greatest plugin ever made.