sooooo . . . if anyone is surprised : i’m also moving this one ! new start and all that . so i’ll be @mechabrat from now on !
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@mechabrat-moved
sooooo . . . if anyone is surprised : i’m also moving this one ! new start and all that . so i’ll be @mechabrat from now on !
sooooo . . . if anyone is surprised : i’m also moving this one ! new start and all that . so i’ll be @mechabrat from now on !
sooooo . . . if anyone is surprised : i’m also moving this one ! new start and all that . so i’ll be @mechabrat from now on !
sooooo . . . if anyone is surprised : i’m also moving this one ! new start and all that . so i’ll be @mechabrat from now on !
sooooo . . . if anyone is surprised : i’m also moving this one ! new start and all that . so i’ll be @mechabrat from now on !
sooooo . . . if anyone is surprised : i’m also moving this one ! new start and all that . so i’ll be @mechabrat from now on !
sooooo . . . if anyone is surprised : i’m also moving this one ! new start and all that . so i’ll be @mechabrat from now on !
sooooo . . . if anyone is surprised : i’m also moving this one ! new start and all that . so i’ll be @mechabrat from now on !
sooooo . . . if anyone is surprised : i’m also moving this one ! new start and all that . so i’ll be @mechabrat from now on !
sooooo . . . if anyone is surprised : i’m also moving this one ! new start and all that . so i’ll be @mechabrat from now on !
sooooo . . . if anyone is surprised : i’m also moving this one ! new start and all that . so i’ll be @mechabrat from now on !
sooooo . . . if anyone is surprised : i’m also moving this one ! new start and all that . so i’ll be @mechabrat from now on !
i. 𝐎𝐂𝐓𝐀𝐕𝐈𝐀 𝐁𝐋𝐀𝐊𝐄·.
THE WORDS HIT HER FULL FORCE. not that octavia was in denial of her engagements. she knew PRECISELY what she was doing and how wicked it was. but to hear it derive from hayley’s tongue in such a way , to see the aching in her eyes as she uttered what they both alleged ––– a knife to the heart would hurt less. ❛ please . . . ❜ who would’ve thought such a day would arise. a day where octavia forced her BEST FRIEND into a corner between what was honorably right and what was required. ❛ i just need some to get me through the night. please hayley , i . . . if i don’t get something the withdrawal could KILL ME . . . ❜
𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐈𝐒𝐍'𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐎𝐂𝐓𝐀𝐕𝐈𝐀 𝐒𝐇𝐄 𝐊𝐍𝐄𝐖 . she wouldn’t have put her on the spot like this : and it isn’t easy plucking back the money octavia had taken from her purse . not when she put it like this . shoulders slump & a small crease form as eyebrows pull together , shake of her head . pinching the bridge of her nose , running a hand through her hair while she walks closer : grabbing her purse and zipping it shut . ❛ does your brother know you’re even back ? he’s been worried sick , you know . ❜ soft exhale , hand reach up to tuck wild locks of hair out of her face and behind her ear . ❛ 𝐖𝐄 𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐇𝐀𝐕𝐄 . ❜
i. 𝐎𝐂𝐓𝐀𝐕𝐈𝐀 𝐁𝐋𝐀𝐊𝐄·.
❛ SORRY ––– ❜ her voice wavers while the components in her mind struggle to turn. withdrawal was setting in. and fast. already she could feel the cramping twist her intestines as hands started to quake. ❛ i didn’t realize i was short until you went back with hope and . . . ❜ but she could see it in hayley’s eyes. her friend comprehended the hidden reality. without reservation hayley knew. and yet octavia still couldn’t bring herself to say it aloud. at least , not DIRECTLY. ❛ i just . . . i just need a few dollars so i don’t get sick. ❜
it felt like she tried to pull octavia closer with this invissible rope , but there was no use no matter how much she tried . she slipped only further and further away from the girl she used to be , before lincoln’s death . and in a way , she could understand . but it killed her never the less , seeing her like this . tried to have given her wiggle room , but maybe that was the wrong way about things . lips will press into a thin line , something stern falls upon features . ❛ you need money to get high . ❜ more a statement than inquire . ❛ octavia , i can’t give you money for that . ❜
i. 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐍 𝐊𝐎𝐌 𝐒𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐃𝐀𝐊𝐑𝐔.
A SMILE IS UPON HIS LIPS MOMENTS AFTER WORDS UTTER from his lips —- perhaps if his life had taken a turn differing from the way it did ; maybe he didn’t have to live within times of WAR such as these. it was senseless in his opinion to fight over an earth that was rebuilt from ashes, to fight against the star people, skaikru, when there was no where else for them to go. they couldn’t go back to the sky and who were they to determine whether or not they were allowed. then again he’s lived as an outsider, a MAN ON THE RUN for so long that yeah his views were probably so far skewed that even he couldn’t tell you what he would’ve thought before this. the night sky was perfect as it always was only slightly harder to see the stars cause of some of the lights cascading from the walls of arkadia, but mostly they twinkled in the sky as bright as ever. the nightblood is aware of her eyes on him, the question bringing thought to his mind —- with a leading word he always seemed to use in his own line of questioning ; why? his english was something to be a little desired still but his best is given, « alone, I’ve — been alone most my life, but I’ve… I’ve always had the stars. » but alone he is no longer, as the back of his hand grazes hers.
they weren’t supposed to walk outside the gates , specially not after nightfall . but the stars weren’t the same inside the gates . the lights ruined it , it did so even out here . but it was totally worth it ! rarely able to enjoy earth simply because the threat of death was ever lasting . in this moment however , she could finally relax . no work currently nagging on her back . hope was with raven . nobody around that interrupted . just the two of them , the night and the stars . his answer bring a smile to her lips , even if it’s nature wasn’t too happy . on the ark it was impossible to be alone most of the time , always so crowded and always people walking about : no sense of privacy . ❛ they look different from down here . ❜ eyes stay on him however & she prop herself up on one elbow , leaning closer to press a soft kiss to the corner of his lips . ❛ and if you believe in that sort of thing , i’ve always been with you then . ❜ @tetheredatlas
i. 𝐌𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐘 𝐆𝐑𝐄𝐄𝐍·.
IT’S BETTER THAN A WAR. when year five hit, it came with so much dread. he tried not to speak about it, tried not to show the others in space that he didn’t want to return back to the ground, but he was hardly ever good at hiding his true feelings. who he was on the ground is not the boy he wanted to be anymore. back then, he had convinced himself that all the violence and the war was something they HAD to do, that they never had a choice in it. it was the only way he knew how to cope with all of it. but it’s different now. he has lost too much, too many people, too many parts of himself that he fears he can never get back. THERE IS A CHOICE, he sees that now —– it doesn’t always have to be them or us, it doesn’t always have to be KILL TO SAVE. he has to find a way to get back to the boy he was before coming back to the ground, despite knowing he will always be weighed down by these decisions ( he has to try. he can’t be this person anymore. )
❝ we’ve all made mistakes since coming down here. but that doesn’t mean we have to keep making them. ❞ words are more directed at himself than at her, a hand moving through his hair as he takes a deep breath. there’s a solution to this that doesn’t involve a war. there is a way to be BETTER than they had been six years ago. he has to give it a chance —— he can’t just throw himself back into the battlefield knowing there is another option. ❝ i think we have to give it a chance. i think we have an option that’s better than fighting a war that isn’t necessary. i think we have to try to be BETTER PEOPLE than this ground has let us be before. ❞ and he wants so desperately for someone else to agree. ❝ no one has to be STUCK there anymore. we can be free. but we don’t have to fight a war to do it. we can make this a real home. ❞
she feels the guilt heavy upon her shoulders : feels that if she could have done more , put more hours into trying to fix things in the bunker before it all went to shit , maybe more people would have survived the years inside it . maybe the situation wouldn’t have become so critical . maybe more people wouldn’t be so damaged . maybe more people wouldn’t have become who they now were . there are so many maybe’s running through her mind , constantly , there’s no room for healing or grief . there’s no time for it . six years in the bunker where violence was the way of surviving , no time to sit down and think : it wouldn’t be easy to turn now . 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐀𝐅𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐘𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐘 𝐇𝐀𝐕𝐄 𝐃𝐎𝐍𝐄 .
the ground . that’s the dream . for so long she had believed that with all her heart , it’s what they had worked towards for so long . now being here : it didn’t feel like that anymore . it was a nightmare there was no waking up from .
once upon a time she would have shared monty’s philosophy . a better world for everyone , fighting for a world where violence was not the answer , no wars and no looking over your shoulder . where they did better than those before them , for her daughter , for those who came after . but it felt hopeless now , everything did and it had done for a while now . & bitterness was a powerful fuel when bottled up for years . ❛ i hear what you’re saying , monty . i do . but this place . . . it’s nothing but a graveyard . filled well up to the brink . it could never be home . ❜
i. 𝐓𝐈𝐄𝐑𝐍𝐄𝐘 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐒𝐓·.
❝ i’m not expecting it to be. ❞ because you understand. you know how it is. you’ve been hurt and betrayed by so many people, that forgiveness itself seemed impossible to you. and let’s not talk about FORGET ( forgetting is something your heart will never be able to do ). drop dead in your track, tierney, living like this will be your murder. ❝ i get it. and it shouldn’t be. ❞ you sigh. ❝ what are you going to do? ❞
some would call it easy : because it’s better after . but no , she don’t see it . break her trust , why would she use so much time and effort glue it back together for only to be broken again ? but maybe it won’t happen . 𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐈𝐅 𝐈𝐓 𝐃𝐎𝐄𝐒 . she will chew on chapped lower lip for a moment , eyes locked on nails covered in grease : jaw clench before there’s a small shrug of shoulders . ❛ i don’t think everyone deserve it . ❜ small pause , gaze shift to tierney . ❛ i’m not really sure . 𝐀𝐕𝐎𝐈𝐃 𝐈𝐓 𝐔𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐋 𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐔𝐒 𝐃𝐑𝐎𝐏 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐃 . ❜ which might happen sooner rather than later down here .