This is my first ever post on the Tumblr mobile application for IOS, so that’s eggciting! This whole thing’s a thought ramble about my inability to get anything I want done. Idky I’m even positing this. Maybe it’ll be helpful to someone, idk:
I honestly have not made much progress on anything. I feel so unhappy with my progress. I keep avoiding stuff I should do, like start something. During this period, I’ve listening to Joji. I usually never listen to music, but I’ve been listening lots because:
It fills me with determination excitement to do something
Maybe I’ll do something about my feelings, or maybe I’ll just keep wallowing in procrastionation. This happened last year, when I used to listen to the She Didn’t Text Back podcast. I was so inspired by the host’s drive that I was like “yeAH IMA DO SOMETHING!” The only thing I did was write those feelings out on a now deleted blog.
Goodness, my attempts to create are always the same. First, I’m so determined and excited to start a project. Then, I actually start. However, even if I did make something, I will end up eventually working on it only in my thoughts for whatever discouraging procrastionat-ey reason. I have many “projects” that never took off, like FameStarz713, B Brats, Petalled Pencil/Pencil Pettals, Woosh Foosh, Asavia, Mythical Moon, and so much more!
I have a few ideas on why I do not return to or even begin projects. One of which is that I put too much pressure on “doing the thing” instead of just “doing the thing.” Over the years, the way I’ve delevoped my “doing the thing” skills is by avoiding it while thinking that I’ll be working in it at any moment. Freaking weird, man.
I feel like I’m coming back to the start of the cycle. Yesterday, I played the heck outta my electric piano. It got a new adapter jack-thing so now I can play with headphones on! IT’S SO COOL AHHH! I have one thing I really want to do: to make a civer of Joji’s Like You Do. I’m not sure how I’d do it, but it’d be fun to try it! Today, I actually streamed. It was so weeiiirrrrddddd to be streaming aH idk how i feel about it!
Tomorrow, I’ll be competing against my friends to make the best song in one hour. I’m sure that I will not win because I have been soooo out of touch with music omg. I took AP Music Theory in high school where I learned sO MUCH MUSIC STUFF, but nearly four years later and I’ve forgotten so much of it. Lucky for them, my compeditors took the course last year. I had forgotten so much that I had to look up a key signature and a minor chord and it was simply very pathetic on my part. Anyways, I hope I can at least have something to submit! Idk what exactly I’ll do, like think of a simple ABAA’ song with easy peasy chord progression and stuff or what. idk man idk. It’s gonna be lit, hopefully.
I wish I could have had something better to report, but I want to keep it real, I guess. For whoever also suffers from the inability to get stuff done. I’m here too, man don’t you worry!
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