humans are space tieflings

I love dnd humans are space orcs and shower thoughts. so this will be a comb of those with a main focus on how humans might be space orcs

[caraakame]

Hello fellow earthlings!

The final chapter for Forboding the Reign of Stupidity (but not the series) is finally here!

Not much to say other than ENJOY!

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13694247/chapters/38198030

Summary: The predictions seem to verify – the sentient predators are destroying their planet. But hope isn’t completely lost to find real intelligence on P3. Time to say hello.      

[sweet-bush-berries]

Log 1253: Humanities Death Weapon

I have come to understand a great deal about humanity as I, Fye, traverse through known Terran civilizations, and have recently discovered their most devious feat yet to be discovered.

I was traveling through the vast voids of Graf and came across what had seemed like a large metallic planet. This perplexed me, as I was unaware of such planets, the closest thing to something like this would be the planet Hje, but this was constructed. I later found out, whilst I was docking onto their runway, that this planet was a previously militaristic colony of Humanity. These Terrans were friendly, it seemed, and were eager to play some of “card games” with me. Whilst playing their confusing game “Go Fish,” I inquired what the name of this 𝘝𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘭 was, and what current purpose it held. One of the Terrans explained to me that the formal name was “Intergalactic Defensive Garrison Affirming Freedom” (I.D.G.A.F), but most call it the “Death Star” after ancient Terran media. 

Recorded transcript of my conversation with Terran Stephanie.

“Surely something this large is impossible to maintain, it is near impossible to get a steady supply of energy to keep this vessel running.”

“Nah mate, ya see we built this giant mirror around a large star, forced it to implode into a rotating black hole, and feed it Electromagnetic Waves in order to generate Super-radiant scattering, and release that energy in partial amounts in order to harvest it.”

“YOU FORCED A STAR TO IMPLODE?! YOU MANAGED TO IMPLODE A STAR?!”

“Yup, and if we don’t release the energy, well, big explosion, HUGE explosion.”

“Wait…  let me wrap my mind around this… TERRANS HAVE A MILITARISTIC WAR BASE, CAPABLE OF BECOMING A BOMB, THAT THEY USE FOR HOUSING?!”

“Well, considering how this is a military base… we may also have the capability to use this energy to force distant stars into imploding…”

“OH MY FUCK!”

Transcript ended.

In the vein of survival, I hereby recommend that all species withhold any attacks on humanity for the foreseeable future, as they have a weaponized starbase, capable of DECIMATING A SOLAR SYSTEM!

End of Log 1253.

[actuallybestrpgideas]

Knife Theory

Original post from u/jimbaby on r/DnD 

When writing a character’s backstory, it’s important to include a certain number of “knives”. Knives are essentially anything that the DM can use to raise the stakes of a situation for your character. Anything that can make a conflict personal, like a threatened loved one or the appearance of a sudden enemy. They’re called “knives” because the players lovingly forge them and present them to the DM so that the DM can use them to stab the player over and over again.

The more knives a player has, the easier it is for the DM to involve them in the story. So it’s important to have them! When breaking down a backstory, it kind of goes like this:

Every named person your character cares about, living or dead (i.e. sibling, spouse, childhood friend) +1 knife [EDIT: a large family can be bundled into one big knife]

Every phobia or trauma your character experiences/has experienced +1 knife

Every mystery in your character’s life (i.e. unknown parents, unexplained powers) +1 knife

Every enemy your character has +1 knife

Every ongoing obligation or loyalty your character has +1 knife

Additionally, every obligation your character has failed +1 knife

Every serious crime your character has committed (i.e. murder, arson) +1 knife

Every crime your character is falsely accused of +1 knife

Alternatively if your character is a serial killer or the leader of a thieves guild, those crimes can be bundled under a +1 BIG knife

Any discrimination experienced (i.e. fantasy racism) +1 knife

Every favored item/heirloom +1 knife

Every secret your character is keeping +1 knife

You kind of get the point. Any part of your backstory that could be used against you is considered a knife. A skilled DM will use these knives to get at your character and get you invested in the story. A really good DM can break your knives into smaller, sharper knives with which to stab you. They can bundle different characters’ knives together into one GIANT knife. Because we’re all secretly masochists when it comes to D&D, the more knives you hand out often means the more rewarding the story will be.

On the other hand, you don’t want to be a sad edgelord with too many knives. A buttload of knives just means that everyone in your party will inadvertently get stabbed by your knives, and eventually that gets annoying. Anything over 15 knives seems excessive. The DM will no doubt get more as time goes on, but you don’t want to start out with too many. You also don’t want to be the plain, boring character with only two knives. It means the DM has to work harder to give you a personal stake in the story you’re telling together. Also, knives are cool!! Get more knives!!!

I always try to incorporate at least 7 knives into my character’s backstory, and so far the return has been a stab-ity good time. Going back into previous characters, I’ve noticed that fewer knives present in my backstory has correlated with fewer direct consequences for my character in game. Of course, this isn’t a hard and fast rule, it’s just something that my friends and I have come up with to help with character creation. We like to challenge each other to make surprising and creative knives. If you think of any that should be included, let me know.

EDIT: I feel I should mention it’s important to vary up the type of knives you have. All 7 of your knives shouldn’t be family members, nor should they be crimes that you’ve done in the past. That’s a one-way ticket to repetitive gameplay. Part of the fun is making new and interesting knives that could lead to fun surprises in game.

[thededfa]

Mikel: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6

Huhui: Part 1&2, Part 3, Part 4

Huhui didn’t even bother trying to contain her tail; her whiskers were forward, her ears up, and her tail was lashing in sheer excitement. Captain Michael of the Mike’n’Mike had sent a message to Crew Jayne requesting a video communication. The curious/dismayed expression Jayne had made clued Huhui in that whatever this chat was going to be about would be something highly entertaining. She had asked if she could sit in on the video and Jayne had readily agreed, even inviting Leader Nashini in an effort to strengthening the trade relations between them. Though it was obvious that Nashini was just included to be polite and Huhui was actually wanted there. She had to try really hard not to feel smug about that. (She felt really smug)

Leader Nashini herself was perched on a seat, eyes and ears trained politely on the screen as Jayne set up the connection. The screen flickered to life to show Captain Michael holding two hatchling Murania in a sling on his chest and spooning some sort of pureed food into their mouths.

“Jaynee! Guess what! I’m a dad! Meet my kids!” The human presented the tiny hatchlings to the camera, a huge grin showing all of his teeth. They were tiny in his arms, able to comfortably fit on each of his hands. They were still featherless and eyeclosedyoung but cheeping strongly in between spoonfuls.

Leader Nashini glanced from Michael, to the hatchlings, and back to Michael, her ears slowly flattening until she pushed herself out of her seat with a quiet, “nope.” and left the room. Michael grinned even wider somehow and cackled.

Jayne pinched her nose. “Does Mikel know you have her kids? Also, tell her I said congrats.”

“No, seriously, these are my kids!”

Huhui twitched. “But that’s physically impossible!”

Michael snickered and resumed spooning puree into the hatchlings mouths. “I mean, yeah, step dad or whatever, but I really am legally their dad.”

Jayne’s mouth dropped open. “What?”

“Yeah! Since I sorta accidentally formally announced I was Mikel’s mashpeerah she was legally allowed to put me down on the kiddo’s birth documents as their legal father. Made a hell of a diplomatic situation on earth, but hey! Mom finally got her grandkids!”

Jayne grinned with wide eyes. “Wow. So. Did you tell her yet?”

Huhui leaned forward anxiously. “Wait, diplomatic situation? What happened?”

Michael carefully situated the now sleepy hatchlings in the sling so they could curl against his chest and sleep. “No, I haven’t told her yet. But yeah, since I’m legally their father on Muran, they have dual citizenship because of me. But none of the countries current citizenship laws cover extraterrestrial dual citizenships and the politicians started seizing over the immigration implications and shit. Long story short, the UN stepped up to avoid a diplomatic incident with Muran and you’re looking at three of the first four citizens of the UN. There might possibly be a war brewing on earth.”

Jayne hit her head against the table and Huhui’s ears flattened against her skull. Humans at war with themselves? It sounded like a nightmare.

“Anyway, I just wanted to introduce you to your umpipix Nola and Lillirt.”

“Umpipix?”

“Uh, kinda means like niece or nephew, but gender nuetral. Muran gender is complicated.”

Jayne smiled softly. “Nola and Lilirt. Wow. I’m happy for you, Michael.”

Mikel appeared on screen, standing on Michael’s desk so she could rest her head on his shoulder. Her feathers looked ragged and her eyes were half closed in exhaustion, but she trilled happily. “Hello. It is good to see you both again.”

Huhui settled back to watch the strange family unit talk. That’s what they were somehow. She couldn’t help a purr as Jayne absently reached over to ruffle her ears affectionately as they listened to Mikel and Michael tell a story about one of their adventures. She was family too, oddly enough. Two years ago she would have thought this was the set up for an elaborate joke, but no.

Sometimes family was two ‘walking disasters’, three ‘space birds’, and an ‘anxious space cat’.

Dammit. When had Jayne managed to get her to call herself a space cat?

[therealverbosemode]

Humans are Space Orcs

(Ok, yeah, I’m so getting in on this.)

I had been briefed that pack-bonding with humans they would be working with would be essential to any mission with them, and that it was relatively easy if one came bearing gifts. The Hotri matriarch who had been assisting him with his preparations had given him a tip that one of the humans he would be paired with excercised at the nature trails near the launch field at a regular time in the morning.

Sure enough, I arrived at the location and found a lone human running along the path showing signs of exertion. He slowed to a stop near me, intaking more atmosphere than I thought a creature of that size would be physically capable of processing. I lifted my crest in a display of friendly excitement.

“Greeting, human co-worker! I am Va’a’an, I look forward to serving with you!”

The human did not speak, instead bending double and showing intensifying signs of distress. I was very concerned. “Human? Do you require medical assistance?”

“Nah nah… oh god… whew!” The human checked his chronometer. “Haa… sub-fifteen… getting better. Hi there. Whooo… I’m good I swear.”

“You do not seem ‘good,’ human co-worker.”

“Good as I can be for running five kilometers. Gimmie a minute… M’name’s Craig… nice t’meet ya.”

“Greetings, human-Craig! As I said, my na-“ I stopped as my second brain finished with the math needed to convert kilometers and minutes into something understandable. “That is very far. I am now certain you need medical attention.”

“Nah!” Human-Craig straightened up. “I’m just outta shape. Nice to meet you, Van.”

“I must insist. Any creature running half the distance you just did would be at risk of expiring from exhaustion.”

“Bro, chill. Five K is basic conditioning for human athletes.”

“Running such extreme distance is a sport?”

“Literally the oldest. We call it a marathon. Forty-two kilometers.”

“What.”

Human-Craig nodded, stretching his limbs, a behavior that at least made some biomechanical sense. “Yep. Current Earth-gravity record is just under two hours.”

I stayed silent, considering the evolution that would be required to perform such a feat. I knew humans evolved as pursuit predators but what insane creatures were they chasing?!

But human-Craig felt the silence was awkward and appended more information. “Yeah. First marathon was by some Greek to announce the victory of some war in ancient times. Ran the whole way, shouted ‘we won’ and died.”

“So you made a sport of it.”

“Uh huh.”

“The horror.”

“See, Van, we’re gonna get on great.”

[mechstingray-blog]

2 space orcs with one post

What if aliens are Ageless and never die of old age becuse there were very few or no predators on there planets there was never a need for the rapid evolution based on survival of the fittest there were still compotion that caused evolution but it was based on fighting for space and resources with out predation in the mix so the was no need to have the creatures die of old age if the would only rarely die because of this tho they are physically weak so we are these ustopable behemoths that seem immortal but are constantly felled by old age a thing that is never a problem for them in addition they might also breed really slow so we might be unstoppable rabbits of destruction to the because dispite being so fit we die young and multiply fast

Feel free to take and run with this idea and run with it im A bad writer but would love to see this idea more fleshed out

[mechstingray-blog]

Character idea

An immortal who has instant regen but can then lost pieces of flesh and every time they fight the are absolutely mortified of having even a small chunk of flesh cut away but is so scared of it the by comparison is completely un afraid of getting stabed but surprise the sword is also a needle and takes his blood and for the rest of the show he is just a drained corpse just walking around the through his quest to get his blood he losses small parts of flesh like the tip of his ear.

[mechstingray-blog]

What if we are not memorable

What if despite being crazy for Some reason be it memetic or just a weird thing about alien brains what if they struggle to remember anything about us and sometimes they forget we are even on so every time we do some crazy space orcs bull we are like John cenna or the coolade guy and just scare the crap out of all the aliens that are suddenly reminded that the scary space orcs monsters were not figments of there imagination

Sorry for how disjointedness of all my posts are I always get these ideas when I'm really tiered

So feel free to take this idea and expand on it.

[mechstingray-blog]

This needed to be said

What if aliens somehow someway ran into guts from berserk or someone like him you know like a badass among badasses imagine the terror on there faces

[mechstingray-blog]

First contact war of wrath

Imagine an alternate halo type first contact with aliens where the just start slaughtering us and we get desperate and just flick the kill switch and dump morals like all out no Geneva conventions we put order 66 on steroids use bio weapons nukes depleted uraianam bullets chemical round napalm taking hostages torture everything and just scare the shot out of the entire universe.

[mechstingray-blog]

Doubling down on humans are space orcs

What if every thing about humans being space orcs and Australians is true and humans are the only heterotrophs in the known universe and we also operate at much higher tempitures then them so we are senteint predatory lava monsters that are much stronger and faster then them. At first they think we are just a strange lava based form of sentient life but then the begin to learn more about us like how we not only eat the types of things that would eat them but we also eat things like them e.g. plants. And after they learn of this they just make a break for it to the farthest depths of the galaxy and we just weakly chase after them with our infirer tech like wait freinds nooo come back I don't want to be alone anymore. And we are just super sad and dejected . Meanwhile the aliens runing from us run into a herbivorous spices of none lava monsters and the herbivors want to enslave and farm them for they consider sentient food to be a delicacies and a war ensues and by the end of it the autotrophs are losseing bad and on the brink of enslavement when we finally catch up

In there desperation the autotrophs send an emissary to the humans asking for help and begging we take pitty on there species and not enslave them and the humans are just like??????????????????? We Will Help You. And also why did you think we would enslave you?

The humans roll in and crush the herbivorous and rescue the autotrophs and we go down as the benevolent alien lava monster demonic demi-god big brothers of the galaxy.

Anyone who is good at writing please feel free to take this idea and run with it I would love to see an actual story about this.

[mechstingray-blog]

Sjw to the rescue

And accidentaly starting space war

Imagine of aliens are exclusively autographs e.g. creatures that only eat chemicals or photosynthesis etc.. any humans just show up on the galactic seen on the opsite end of the Spectrome as omnivorous heterotrophs and aliens profile us super hard and just are generally jerks to is just cus our diet the a sjw shows up and just starts telling the aliens all the ways they are wrong for doing that witch incites a war and humanity crushes them super hard because we grew up in war and the aliens almost never go to war as autotrophs and just leave behind a bunch of super confused humans like what did you expect you were afraid of us for a reason and just like what were they expecting to happen .

[mechstingray-blog]

Expansion on humans climbing

How would aliens track to the human thing of jumping off ladders or stairs just before reaching the end especially if they are larger ground based animals who lived in flat land areas to whom a small 3 ft drop would be a death sentace

Feel free to take the idea

[mechstingray-blog]

Can we get a humans are space orcs sic-fy

What if humans are the first sentient species and we are just like the big brothers of all the aliens in our galaxy and we just like protect them. Can an writer take this idea and run with it please

[mechstingray-blog]

What if aliens never had human rights problems

What if aliens are just so good natured that they never even thought of torture or inhumane weapons and we are just like cassualy explaining our history and the aliens just have utterly horrified expressions because it was such a huge issue that we had to develop law agenst it and regularity update them because we kept inventing new ways to hurt each other. Pls add on and expand on this also i would like someone better at it then me to write a story about it

[mechstingray-blog]

Humans are space orcs fulfilment

What if someone from this community makes first contact or get obducted and realises that everything on this page is true and at the moment of realisation the human yells "humans are space orcs" and the aliens just look at them like there crazy.

[salansar]

The Search for Humanity part 2: The Return

Some of you asked for this so I hope you like it!

_________________

We have been observing the new humans for nearly an Earth century. They have grown from nearly two million souls to almost ten million. Their civilizations are strange in that they have highly advanced technology they have salvaged and repaired next to fields and wilderness. Compared to how they evolved before it is quite unnerving. They have even created transportation vessels to go between their colonies. They have a unified central government that leaves most of the decisions to the individual colonies because of their separation. It seems that despite their technological level they see no need to leave their planet.

That was until they activated a subspace beacon. It sent out a simple message, “Earth is clear. Come home.” At first this startled us, but then we noticed it was kind of sad. They held out hope that some of their people had survived the Great Frenzy.

They left the beacon on a continuous loop for the next few years, which is very taxing on even modern fusion generators. During our observations of their radio communication that we noticed that they finally decided to take the beacon offline and reallocate the power to more needed areas. Again space was silent around their planet.

Then the first ships dropped out of FTL drive. We were caught off guard in the worst way. It is a law that ships are to drop out of FTL outside of a solar system to keep the subspace wake from destabilising any of the planetary orbits. This ship dropped out of FTL ONE LIGHT MINUTE from Earth. They were so close to us that the wake of their ship actually impacted our own ship. Even if we had our shields up it would have jostled us pretty good. Since we didn’t have our shields up it actually caused microfractures in our hull.

We immediately panicked. Were we under attack? Who were these people? Did they hear the subspace beacon from Earth? If so why did they come? Then I realized what I was looking at.

The vessel was absolutely massive. Two to three times the size of our Dreadnought class ships at least. It looked like it had been cobbled together from multiple ships and indeed it had, all human long range cruisers. There also seemed to be pieces of a few other alien craft in the mix. Given the design and the age of it the ship was in remarkable shape.

It was only when we were finally realising what we were looking at that they made contact, “This is the UES Marathon. What are you doing in orbit around our home?”

It took a couple moments for our commander to respond with our designation and our reason for being here. He explained that we were here to study and monitor the progress of humanity on Earth. To this we were given a very similar response to the team that went to the surface so long ago, “Why? You didn’t seem to care about our wellbeing when we needed you.”

The commander explained what the lead scientist who traveled to Earth said, “We understand what happened was a terrible and horribly wrong mistake. We know we will never be able to make up for that but we do wish to try and start over.”

To this the humans simply said, “We have other matters to handle first. Stay out of our way.” Then they broke off communication and entered planetary orbit.

They opened a non encrypted radio signal to Earth and the two began transmitting huge amounts of information back and forth. They seemed to completely ignore us again so we observed their Comms from a distance.

It seemed that the humans on the Marathon came from a group of deep space settlement ships. They were far enough away from the signal to figure out a way to stop the Frenzy plague. In doing this though they had to genetically altered their immune systems. This rendered them unable to interact with any natural microbial life. Now being back to their home world they are confined to atmospheric suits to protect them from the very air and soil they wanted to come back to so badly.

Humanity being what they are though figured out a way. The new group of Humans settled on the empty base on the Moon. It took some work, but they stripped everything they needed from their massive ship to make it habitable for themselves. Within a year Humanity had gone from a handful of terrestrial colonies to having regular transit between Earth and the moon. The UES Marathon was also disassembled and made into a space station and smaller travel craft.

Humanity now have their eyes on the sky. It will not be long before they decide to stop ignoring us. I only hope what our commander said will help them see us as a friend… or at least not a threat.