💜 only pomni (evil and possessed) and/or jax (evil) x reader!
💜 i WILL write: smut, angst with and without comfort, fluff, platonic, established relationship, platonic parental figures, anything with heavy topics such as suicide, self harm, abuse, sexual assault (as long as sa is a referenced or talked about and not actually jax/pomni doing it), poly, cnc, piss kinks unfortunately bc i’m a freak
💜 i will NOT write: pregnancy (this one is a maybe…it depends on the plot), explicit rape smuts, or if the request is too boring i’m so sorry 😭
~contents~
long/short fics:
Talk To Me (Jax x Reader) (complete)
two of hearts (jax x reader) (hiatus bc i got lazy)
the threesome adventures of gf pomni and y/n (chapters are requests)
the wind still blows for me and you (daisuke x reader)
last part coming soon
a/n: i know this isn’t my usual tadc but im obsessed with mouthwashing rn, also posted on ao3 as blue_albarn
words: 10k, tags: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Janitor Reader, jimmy has beef with the reader, Angst, Fluff, Smut, Eventual Smut, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, canon events, Pre and Post Crash Events, Loss of Virginity, Daisuke's a Virgin, Oral Sex, Face-Sitting, Riding, Misionary Position, Canon deaths, Implied/Referenced suicide attempts.
description: you're a janitor fresh out of highschool with major issues, what could go wrong being on the tulpar? - yes there's smut pre and post crash - references of the song texas goth night mix
~~~
{they don’t like me where i’m from}
9 more months until you’re terminated. you’ve been x’ing out the days on the calendar that’s been hanging on your “bedroom” wall everyday at 7 in the morning, even though it looks like night 24/7.
you have to keep your routine strict or unless you end up crazy again. 7:00 wake up and mark off the day, 7:15 put on the uniform and the specialized name tag that says “janitor.”
not a glamorous or a respected title. a title that you don’t even care about but the moment you turned 18 you did everything in order to not live at home anymore. you and everyone else was shocked that pony express hired a janitor with little to no experience straight out of highschool, but at least it gives you an advantage of not staying at home.
you sweep the corridors in every possible room, scrub every surface, empty the trash, cleaning toilets and countless spills. hearing your name shout from almost every perosn for you to clean up their shit. you can’t even complain because you literally signed up for it.
the urge of relapsing keeps growing too. knowing that you’re fired the moment this shit lands, with the same 5 faces everyday the urges tends to comeback. you know your temper is a short fuse, knowing your mouth gets you in trouble with curly (however it’s mainly jimmy) but the damage has been done.
the scars are old enough for you to freely wear short sleeve shirts with your overalls. everyone notices, but hardly anyone stares or brings it up. at first curly would sometimes give you a sympathetic look, a small touch on the back with a “you alright?” look, but as time went on he stopped bringing it up. occasionally he will ask, saying this isn’t about captain duties and that he actually does care about your well being.
jimmy is a whole other story. he’ll banter with anya, saying she sucks at her job and how she needs to give you some mental health discipline. he’ll argue with curly that it’s a stupid, childish thing and that pony express shouldn’t hire a teenager who looks like she’s about to kick the bucket.
swansea is the only person who actually saw past your appearance. after the incident 2 months ago he just forgot about it all (other than you stealing his tools). he treats you like a normal person (and his own personal maid but better than constantly seeing you as a psych patient). the two of you doesn’t seem to talk much, just a few good mornings and conversations about you mopping the area without putting a wet floor sign.
daisuke was the one who snitched. not at first, he sat with you in the janitors closet and gave you paper towels, talking about movies he can’t wait to watch once this ship lands and can’t help but to notice it was swansea’s grand industrial razors. before the incident you two kept it casual coworker talk, nothing too serious. with tears in your eyes you begged him to stay and not tell anyone but he felt obligated and told anya and curly.
curly wasn’t angry, he’d just look you in the eyes, sighed, and said the moment were back on earth you have to be relieve. fired, in gentle words. anya bandaged you up quietly, hardly any words were spoken.
so because them you’re losing your job in 9 months.
it’s whatever, it’s not like the end of the world and you can just find another job that’s hopefully not another janitor position because let’s be honest, this job fucking sucks. the only good part about it is the chemicals you can huff to make the day go by quicker.
“be careful, i just mopped.” you leaned on the mop, watching jimmy and curly enter the lounge and walking over to the kitchen.
“no wet floor signs?” jimmy grunted.
“i only have one and the other is in the bathroom.”
“i still don’t understand why pony express hired a janitor like we can’t clean up our own shit.”
curly chugged the lukewarm coffee he made, “remember last year? this place was like a pig’s pin. i’m glad they hired one.” he smiled at you, handing you his empty coffee mug to clean it for his next use. you slightly smiled back before placing the mug on your cleaning cart.
jimmy let out an aggressive sigh, eyes glancing over to your arms before back at your eyes. you shifted your weight and put the mop back into the yellow bucket. the awkward silence consuming everyone.
“i’m done with the cleaning as of right now, other than the mug. anything else i should do, captain?”
“did you clean the utility bay yet?”
“not yet, i usually wait until swansea and daisuke is done in there. don’t want to cause a ruckus or anything with him.”
the two men both had a thought, were you talking about swansea or daisuke? but neither of them said anything.
curly replied again, “that’s fine with me.”
jimmy had to bite his tongue to not talk back to you.
finally, the utility bay is to yourself. picking up tools, dusting, sweeping, mopping the area and cleaning up any spills. swansea always double checking that you didn’t steal anything from his tool box.
the moment you slid open the utility bay door to leave, daisuke was on the other side, spotting you with a grin. “y/n! hey! you finished up in there?”
you peaked over his shoulder and saw swansea mumbling to himself, probably out of annoyance.
“yeah.” you replied, hands gripping the cart to get ready to push it. “daisuke.”
he blinks at you, head tilting slightly, “yeah?”
“you’re blocking the entrance.”
“oh right, sorry.” he steps aside, letting you push the squeaky cart through. “so uh, how’s janitor duty been? keeping busy?”
“daisuke.” swansea grumbled, “we all got work to do.” he pushed him inside before closing the utility door.
you kinda feel bad for being so distant to him. he means well, and he did mean well two months ago but a part of you can’t seem to forgive him.
you rolled your cart to the janitor closet, closing the door before sitting down inside the cramped space. it’s one of the few places you can hide out at since it’s locked. rookie mistake last time when daisuke barged in.
however, those first 10 minutes were interrupted by hearing your name being called out by jimmy to the kitchen. you groaned, using the cart to help you stand up and leaving the safe haven. you dragged your footsteps to see jimmy standing in the kitchen with a broken mug shattered on the floor.
“sweep it up.”
“you called me to do that?”
“you’re the janitor, isn’t that your job?”
your eyes rolled, walking back to grab a broom and dust pan to pick up/sweep up the broken pieces. jimmy was gone by the time you came back but daisuke was there stealing more sweeteners.
“don’t tell anyone!”
you sat the dust pan down beside of the ceramic pieces, “wasn’t planning on it.”
daisuke watched as you struggled a bit to sweep.
“you uh…you doing okay? i know jimmy’s been ripping on you hard lately.”
the co-pilot has been snapping at people a lot more, but you’ve been getting the worst of it. little things, a mop left in the corner when you’re not done with it yet, you taking too long during rounds, avoiding the utility bay because daisuke will be in there (plus swansea hates it when you’re cleaning in his area). curly tried to smooth things over but nothing has changed.
you stood up and pulled the broom closer to you, “why are you being so nice to me all of a sudden?”
daisuke’s eyebrows shot up, “what? i’ve been nice to you. that’s like, my whole thing.” he shifts his weight, digging his hands in his pockets. “it’s just…i’m not that dumb you know. despite what swansea says i can read the room.”
he clears his throat, looking down at the small fragments, “anyway. sorry. didn’t mean to make it weird. i’ll let you get back to work.” he looks back up, a small crooked smile on his face, “if you need anything you know where to find me. i’m usually in swansea’s way.”
you watch him go for a moment before sweeping up the remaining pieces and throwing them away. you walked back to the closet to put up the broom and dust pan. around the corner you overheard voices. jimmy’s, low and sharp, and curly’s more calm. the janitor’s closet was just right around that corner.
“-not telling me how to do my job, curly.”
“i’m not telling you anything, just to relax a little. the crew notices.”
“the crew?” jimmy laughs, “you mean the janitor who tried to kill herself, an intern who doesn’t do much, an unqualified nurse and a middle aged man who does a shit job at maintaining this ship?”
“y/n’s 18 years old, jim. she’s a kid and you’ve been riding her for every little thing.”
“don’t baby her, she’s an adult and needs to act like one. anya doesn’t do jack shit about y/n’s personality and attitude and neither do you apparently.”
curly sighs, “i’m not your enemy. i never have been.”
“could’ve fooled me, captain.” he spits the title like it has a bad taste, “i got work to do.”
you have maybe 2 seconds to walk backwards and pretend you just arrived to the corner before looking like an idiot.
jimmy stops mid stride, almost colliding with you. his jaw is tight, greasy hair falling over his eyes, “you hear anything?” he asks a little too casual.
you played dumb, “hear what?”
his lips pressed into a thin line before walking away. you exhaled, turning the corner to greet curly who was standing by the janitors closet. you didn’t speak to him while putting away the broom and dust pan.
you took your time, only because you were waiting if curly was going to say something but like usual he doesn’t when it comes to jimmy sometimes.
by the time you clock out the ship’s clock reads 2100. your bunk is small, twin bed at most, bolted to the wall with thin blankets and a pillow that needs to be thicker. you changed into a plain white shirt, black shorts, and white fuzzy socks, something you always wore on your feet since you were little, almost like protective wear.
you covered yourself up as much as you could, tossing and turning in the most uncomfortable bed in the world before drifting off.
only 9 more months to go.
{took everything from me}
crossed off another day, getting dress, use the coffee machine that keeps breaking, cleaning the area again, it’s like you’re reliving the days over and over again.
you rolled your squeaky cart to the utility bay to clean it again. in jimmy’s word, “you did a shitty job, do it first thing every day.”
you don’t have the willpower to fight him on it, so you did what he said.
daisuke was sitting on a crate, legs swinging, his pink hibiscus shirt sliding down his arms. swansea was hunched over a panel, tools surrounding him and muttering under his breath. daisuke spots you first. his grin flickers, still finding it a bit awkward from previous interactions.
“hey y/n!” he recovers quick, “swansea’s trying to fix the air conditioner again.”
“is that why it feels like 80 degrees?”
“again implies i fixed it the first time.” swansea grunts, “im maintaining it. there’s a difference.”
“there’s no difference.” daisuke replied.
“there’s a huge difference.”
swansea glances over his shoulder, “what’d i say about you coming in here to clean while we’re in here?”
“jimmy told me to. i’m pretty sure he’s watching my every move.”
daisuke lit up, “you can stay in here and pretend.”
you looked over at swansea and he nodded in agreement.
daisuke patted the crate beside of him, “come sit.”
you shake your head and leaned on the metal wall next to the door, arms crossed over your chest.
his grin falters for a second, legs idling its swinging before turning his attention back to swansea.
swansea's muttering has devolved into a one-sided argument with the panel. "no, no, that's not—goddammit, who routed this line?" he yanks his hand out, knuckles skinned, and sucks on them with a grimace. "this ship was assembled by monkeys. drunk, blind monkeys."
"It's maintained by a drunk monkey," daisuke offers.
"I'll maintain my foot up your ass."
daisuke cackles, his eyes meeting yours.
the air conditioner hums back to life. swansea grunts in satisfaction and starts packing his tools away.
“there. fixed. told you it was nothing."
"you said it was probably nothing. big difference."
"shut up."
you pulled yourself off of the wall, hands on either side of the cart, “you don’t have to put those up. i can i clean in here while you take your break.”
swansea’s jaw tightened, “i’m not letting you mess with my tools again.”
you rolled your eyes, hands dropping from the cart.
“i’m saying that out of concern.”
the words hang in the air, daisuke looks up, giving you a small, uncertain smile.
concern.
“it’s been months! jesus man i’m just trying to do my job.”
“you crossed a line, kid.”
you groaned, rolling your eyes and crossing your arms, “i wasn’t even thinking about that. jimmy’s been on my ass about me not doing a good job so i want to do his demands so he’ll stop berating me for every single thing.”
swansea stood up, pinched the bridge of his nose before looking at you, “here's the thing about lines. once you cross one, it's real easy to cross it again. and i’m not gonna be the guy who handed you the razor and said 'go ahead, i trust you." he holds up a hand before you can interrupt. "i'm not saying you will. i'm saying i'm not willing to find out.“
you balled your fist, mouth open to argue back but you closed it.
daisuke’s brows slanted, chewing on the inside of his cheek before finally saying something, “you can clean in here while swansea and i are here. i’m sure he won’t mind, right?” he looked over at swansea who just nod in silence.
you didn’t glare, nor show any emotion. why did all of a sudden swansea saw you as a liability?
you gripped both sides of the cart, “i’m gonna go clean the rest of the ship and then i’ll come back.”
with no other words you left the utility bay and pushed the cart to the lounge area. anya was sitting at the table, fiddling with her thumbs while sipping on her glass of water. she looked up at you with a soft smile and a wave. you two haven’t talked much since the incident since she was the one who had to bandage you up. she pushed for therapy sessions but you declined them. there was no point, really.
“how you been?” she smiled softly, tilting her head.
you parked the cart by the kitchen entrance before taking a seat across from her, “could be better, could be worse. you?”
she chuckles, “just about the same. are you about to clean in here?”
“yeah just about. hope that’s okay, i try not to clean in front of people because of the smells.”
she put her hands up in defense, “doesn’t bother me at all!”
you first started out with dishes, it’s the easiest and there wasn’t that much any.
you rinse a mug under the lukewarm water, letting the silence settle before you talked again, "so." you turn off the faucet, shake the excess water off. "what do you do when you're not restocking bandages and counting pills?"
anya blinks, then laughs softly, “i read, mostly. there's a shelf in the med bay with some old novels loaded on it. they're not great. lots of melodramatic romance and space operas, but they pass the time." she paused. "i also draw, sometimes. not well, but it's... calming."
she looks at you with curiosity, "what about you? what did you do before the tulpar?"
"not much." you wipe at a spot on the counter that's already clean. "that's why I took this job. needed to get away from everything, and pony express doesn't ask questions."
"fair enough," she says finally. "most of us here are running from something, i think."
she picks up her water, takes a sip, and sets it down again. her fingers trace the rim of the glass, "i applied because i needed the money. college debt doesn't care if you're in space." she let out a dry laugh.
“i don’t think i care about pursing college and getting a degree. just not in my nature i guess.”
“college isn’t for everyone. i didn’t go until i was in my early 20’s.”
you picked up the broom and duster pan to get the crumbs, almost replying to her comment before jimmy walked in. his eyes glanced between the two of you, grabbing a snack from the vending machine before leaving again.
{by the grace of god i don’t think so}
it’s been days since you had that interaction with daisuke and swansea. you avoided them at all costs, getting in trouble with jimmy but you didn’t care. it was too embarrassing to even face them.
on the other hand, you despise yourself for acting like that. you weren’t going to steal his tools for your own twisted use.
maybe. maybe not.
you walked through the long maze of hallways and doors to the janitors closet. so, so far away and only about 10 more steps before the cockpit for some whatever reason. who designed this ship anyway?
turning the sharp corner you accidentally bumped into daisuke. the two of you immediately apologized, but neither of you decided to walk away. just standing there awkwardly. daisuke fiddling with this rings and you shoving your hands in your pockets.
“sorry for getting mad that you told on me. about the... harming myself thing. and getting me fired…and me and swansea getting into a fight the other day.”
the words come out all at once, a clumsy spill of syllables you've been sitting on for longer than you want to admit.
“y/n…" he scratches the back of his neck, lets out a breath. "that was, like...months ago. you're still thinking about that?"
you don't answer.
he shifts his weight, shoves his hands into his pockets. "i didn't do it to get you in trouble. you know that, right? i did it because I was scared." he paused. "you were my friend. you were hurting yourself, and i didn't know what else to do…and i’m not mad that you got into a fight with swansea.” he adds, quieter, “i never was.”
“friend?” you tilted your head.
he softly laughs in amusement, “yeah. i assume we’re friends. but you're welcome. for whatever it's worth." he gave a small, crooked smile. "i'd do it again, you know. if i had to, because i'd rather have you alive and mad at me than the alternative."
daisuke shuffles his feet, breaks eye contact first.
"anyway. I should probably get back before swansea accuses me of slacking off again." he pauses, glancing back. "but, uh. if you want to talk more later, or not talk, just hang out. my bunk's always open. just knock."
he lingers half a second longer, then heads back walking in the maze of a hallway.
you smiled to yourself, heart beating a bit faster and feeling nerves in your stomach. you pulled your hands out of your pockets and made your way farther to the closet, pulling out a vacuum cleaner to vacuum the carpeted area in the lounge, something you always forget to do (and hate).
this vacuum was always obnoxiously loud, the cord is always tangled, and overall super hard to push. you made a mistake of complaining in front of jimmy and like usual he just berates you.
unfortunately he was sitting at the table, fortunately so was curly.
the captain gave you a welcoming smile, something he always does when he sees you, probably too afraid to make you go crazy and have an another episode.
“have you seen anya yet?” curly asked.
you plugged in the vacuum cleaner and stood back up, “no, why?”
“it’s time for those psych evals. i say after this you go to her?”
“has everyone finished there’s?”
“jimmy hasn’t, but he usually likes to go last.”
you glanced over at him, then back at curly. “on it.” you mumbled, pressing the on button of the loud vacuum.
anya looked tired, more than usual. you sat down across from her, hands in your lap. she asked the same questions you had to answer a month ago, and you made sure to be sort of honest. then again, does it matter since you’re fired once this ship goes back to earth? you’re not in the mood to find out.
“lastly, any thoughts of harming yourself or others?” her voice so monotoned like she’s not here.
“you okay?”
she looks up from her paper, eyes widening a bit. “yeah. don’t worry about me, just tired that’s all.” her smile wasn’t that convincing.
“answer is no. to both of those.” you leaned back into the chair.
anya wrote your answer down with hesitation, but honestly she was too mentally out of it to question you any further.
“anya…are you sure you’re okay?”
“yes!…sorry for raising my voice im just-“
“it’s okay.” you spoke low, “i understand…im here for you.”
she gave you a genuine smile, leaning back in her chair. “we’re all just missing home and privacy.”
a new day on the tulpar. the same metal walls. the same faces. doing the same cleaning work. you decide to knock out the only bathroom. chemicals abusing your nose, you’re thinking you should be use to the smell by now but apparently not.
you pushed your cart to the utility bay, hearing voices coming from daisuke, swansea and curly.
the door slides open, the three of them looking over at you as you looked over at daisuke who was stuck in the foam.
you pushed your cart inside, raising an eyebrow at the situation, “what’s going on here?”
swansea rolled his eyes, “daisuke triggered the emergency foam because he was being an idiot.”
“was not! i was trying to help!”
swansea turned his attention to curly, “can ya get the axe and break him out since you’re the only one who can get it out the safe.”
curly walked past you to the axe safe and unlocked it before walking back to daisuke. you and daisuke flinched as the axe came in contact with the foam, breaking away enough pieces for him to slide out.
curly handed the axe to swansea, “here, i’m gonna trust you with this and finish breaking down the foam so daisuke doesn’t get stuck again.”
the intern smiled innocently.
“i’m going to let the three of you finish your work. if you guys need me i’ll be in med bay with jimmy.”
he walks past you again, stopping briefly to pat your shoulder before leaving the utility room.
you pulled out cleaning wipes and began wiping down counters. daisuke watched you intently as swansea nudged his shoulder with his elbow, “come on, kid. we gotta fix this shit.” he grumbled.
“will i be in your guys way?” you asked, now drying the new wet counters with a separate dry rag.
“just stay over there and do your thing.” the old man replied, hiding the axe when you weren’t looking.
{it’s just another game for two}
a knock on your metal door of your bedroom broke you out of your sleep. you quietly groaned, shuffling your feet to the door and see anya standing there.
“hey.” you yawned, “what’s up?”
“we’re getting ready for curly’s surprise party. sorry that i woke you, you just slept in a little late than usual and i wanted to check on you.”
“yeah, sorry. i’ll get dress and go to the lounge. you don’t have to wait on me, i’ll be quick.”
she gave you a weak, tired smile before walking away. you slid the door shut and put on the usual uniform, short sleeve black shirt with dark blue overalls. you made your way over to the lounge and saw everybody else there, other than curly of course.
anya handed you a party hat to put on before returning to her place. you stood next to her and daisuke, waiting patiently for curly to walk through the door.
“surprise!” everyone shouted, watching the captain’s jaw drop a bit.
“uh. wow…what’s the occasion?”
“we only get one communal birthday party per trip, right?” anya spoke, “so we can have it whenever.”
“only one person can really be surprise birthday-ed per trip.” jimmy uncrosses his arms and glanced at swansea, “we did swansea last haul, remember?"
daisuke laughed, “no way! i can't believe i missed that!” swansea rolls his eyes.
“you were next on the list. so, congratulations.” jimmy put his hands up, “hate to say it though, your duties have to extend to even your own birthday party."
“you're the only one with clearance to make the cake. the recipe is there by the machine. hop to it, captain!” anya clapped her hands together.
“how come the captain is the only one who can make the cake?” you asked while grabbing a seat.
swansea sat in front of you, “i ask the same damn question. none of us can’t do jack shit without the good ol’ captain.”
curly brought the cake out and gently sat it down on the table, “i guess it’s for safety.” he replied, a subtle look changes on his face.
“the cake of despair,” you whispered to daisuke, making him snort.
“what’s wrong, captain?” anya asked, her eyebrows furrowing.
curly took a deep breath, pinching the bridge of his nose before looking in everyone’s eyes. “i received a note from management. after this delivery pony express is done for.”
everyone was in too much shock to say anything.
“we will receive the paycheck for this delivery. i don't know any more than that.”
swansea grumbled, “pony express finally kicking the bucket, huh.”
“so that’s it?” you blurted, “after this shipment you guys are gonna be in the exact same spot i’m in for the remaining months?” you laughed in an uncontrollable manner, “sorry it’s just…wow.” you wiped a few tears, noticing that everyone is staring at you with a shock or confused faces, “oh please carry on!”
jimmy glared at you, “you think this is funny? we’re all losing our jobs!”
you interrupted curly, “it’s hard to be sympathetic when i already lost my job over something so fucking stupid.”
jimmy clenched his jaw before relaxing it, “you know what? i think you and captain over here are the same.”
“huh?” you and curly said in unison. jimmy turned to him, “curly is also unsympathetic. i can go back to my, how'd you put it, captain. struggle of a life?”
“jim, that’s not what-“
jimmy cuts him off, "anya never got into medical school because she's...well, let's be real. y/n doesn’t have to worry because she’ll probably kill herself after this ship lands. and how many employment years swansea got left in him? daisuke will be fine, mommy and daddy have him covered. so there's that at least. but you, headed for bigger and better, right?"
you leaned in and whispered to daisuke, “what the hell did i ever do to jimmy?”
daisuke put his hand over his mouth to cover up his small laughter.
curly’s shouting brought your attentions back, “i'm just working on my life being a place i don't have to fucking escape! that's what/was trying to tell you, nothing mor-"
“we're the ones you're trying to escape!"
curly ran his fingers through his hair, “that's not what i meant.”
“it is what you meant. you just couldn't frame it to yourself in a way that kept you as the hero. abandon the crew but remain the model captain."
everyone fell silent, leaving swansea to mumble, “unbelievable.”
you and daisuke exchanged glances, getting a piece of cake and silently eating it.
“pretty good.” he whispered.
you tossed and turned on your bed. the time reading 2 am. you push yourself off the bunk, joints protesting after hours of lying still. the corridor's hall thankfully empty when you step out.
daisuke's quarters are two doors down from yours. you've never actually been inside, just know which door is his from the faint music that sometimes bleeds through the walls when he’s on break.
with hesitation you knock, heard shuffling before the door slides open.
daisuke changed into a yellow tshirt and pink shorts, holding a game boy in his hand. he looks at you with relief that he tries to hide under a grin.
"y/n, hey.”
“sorry if i woke you up.” you said in a quiet voice.
“nah i was already awake, you wanna come in?”
“yeah, if you don’t mind.”
he moved out the way for you to walk in, door sliding shut. his room was way smaller than yours, probably because he got added on at the last second and there wasn’t much room space for an extra person.
daisuke sat on his bed, back leaning on the pillows as he pats the side next to him, “sit down, you’re making me nervous hovering like that.” he laughed.
you smiled and sat down beside of him. his bed was also the same twin size bed you had so there wasn’t much room to have space in-between you guys.
“did you need anything?”
“um…no not really. just couldn’t sleep and kept tossing and turning.”
“same here…that was a weird birthday party, huh?”
“ugh, tell me about it. so uncalled for what jimmy said about me.” you let out an inappropriate laugh.
“im so glad you brought that up. poor anya too…but dragging you like that was insane.”
“i feel like nothing good has happened since i took this job offer.”
he tilted his head, “what do you mean?”
“you kidding?”
“right, sorry.”
there was a moment of silence coursing through.
“did I ever tell you about the time I got locked in the utility bay on my second week?”
you shook your head.
“swansea thought I was fucking around and left me in there for three hours." he laughs, shaking his head. "i panicked at first. kept banging on the door, but then i realized on one of the counters there was those protein bars nobody likes, the chalky ones, and i ate like six of them before he came back to let me out. rookie mistake. spent the whole next day in the bathroom."
“ew, i had to deep clean that shit!” you laughed. “first day, i got stuck." a faint smirk pulls at your lips. "i was trying to make a good impression so i was deep cleaning everything. i crawled through the vents and wiping them down and ended up at a dead end. i tried to turn around but couldn’t and i was too scared to call for help.”
daisuke's eyes go wide, “no way."
"way." you leaned back, "i was in there for two hours before swansea found me. he didn't say anything at first, just looked at me through the vent window, shook his head, and walked away. left me in there another twenty minutes."
"he didn't!"
"he did." you huff a quiet laugh. "when he finally let me out, he goes, 'stop fucking around in my vents,’ and that was it. didn't even tell curly."
daisuke grinned, shaking his head.
"that's so swansea. gruff but like...weirdly parental.”
"yeah." the word comes out softer than you meant it to. “i don’t think i apologized to him about the other day.”
“don’t sweat it, he doesn’t hold grudges…well maybe to me, but definitely not you.”
you softly chuckled, “i guess so…you know, you’re not that bad.”
daisuke blinks. "i'm sorry, what?"
"you heard me." you shrug, avoiding his eyes, focusing on a loose thread on his blanket. "you're not that bad. for a guy who eats chalky protein bars and gets locked inside the utility bay."
he stares at you before laughing, “coming from you, i'll take that as high praise." he bumps his shoulder against yours.
"you're not so bad yourself. for a janitor who gets trapped in crawlspaces."
“hey man, i’m just really good at my job.”
a comfortable silence drove by. daisuke's game system glows on the mattress, paused mid-level.
his voice softens, "i'm glad you came by. was getting tired of my own company.”
"me too." your voice comes quieter than you expected, "thanks for letting me inside.”
daisuke's smile softens at the edges. “any time. seriously, my door's always open. well, i mean, it slides, but you know what i mean."
daisuke picks up his game, fiddling with the buttons but not unpausing it. "you can stay, if you want. i was just gonna veg out and play this until i pass out." he glances at you, “no pressure, but the offer's there."
a smile softly spread, “yeah, i’d like that.”
you settle back against the wall, your shoulder brushing his. he unpauses his game, and the little pixel character springs back to life, leaping across platforms and dodging obstacles.
he's not very good at it, dying twice in the first minute, muttering curses under his breath. the third time, he shoves the device toward you.
"here, you try. i need a break before i throw this at the wall."
you take it, pressing unpause to finish out the level. daisuke has his arms crossed, watching you with lazy interest. "no pressure, but if you beat my high score, i’ll never let you live it down."
the lights were dim, other than the blue screen illuminating your face. his eyes wandered to your arms, he’s used to it, but his eyes lowered to your thighs, lingering too long for your liking. you shifted uncomfortably on his thin mattress.
“are you weirded out?” your voice croaked, pausing the game. the pixel character hangs frozen mid-jump and waiting. your thumb hovers over the button.
daisuke goes still beside you and looked back up at your eyes. you feel his shoulder tense against yours, then slowly relax.
he takes a breath, “it doesn't weird me out. it..." he pauses, “it makes me sad. not because of how they look. you were hurting enough to do that, and i couldn't do anything about it."
your eyes meets his, “seriously though," he adds, "if you ever need to talk about anything, i'm here.”
"yeah," you say quietly, “i know."
somewhere down the corridor a door slides shut.
“do you still do it?”
“not ever since that day but…i still get the urges.”
“i don’t know this will help but the next time you want to just, i don’t know, come to me or anya, maybe swansea.”
“i probably won’t but i appreciate it.”
daisuke laughs, then yawns, stretching his arms above his head. "i'm crashing soon. you're welcome to stay. i've got an extra blanket somewhere if you don’t want to share." he glances around his messy quarters, patting the mattress beside him. "or you can head back. no pressure either way."
you softly smiled and nodded your head, “i would like to stay…we can share the blanket, i don’t mind.”
he returned the smile, scooting down to where his head hits the pillow and pulls his side of the covers up to his stomach. you didn’t lay down just yet, eyes back on the paused game.
there was some silence before daisuke spoke again, “what do you think is gonna happen after we dock?”
you looked down at him.
“i mean…everyone is getting laid off. it just kinda sucks, ya know?”
a laugh bubbles out of you dry, edged with bitterness. "at least i was already fired before everyone else did. thanks to you." you let the last words drip with sarcasm.
he playfully rolls his eyes, "oh, sure. i'm your personal career ruiner. that's my role on the tulpar. just the guy who got y/n fired from her last job."
you giggled, laying down under the blanket and giving him his game boy back. you turned to your side, facing him. you wanted to reply back, make more jokes about the situation but you couldn’t find anymore. his face was almost mesmerizing. his dark eyes on you, a faint smile forming. his face was inches away, only because of how small this bed was. you inaudible gulped.
“you want me to turn the rest of the lights off?” he broke the awkward silence.
you nod, he then reaches over you and taps a button on the wall panel. the room goes dark, the only light was from his game boy that was charging.
{would that mean my wounds were cured}
you slowly awaken, checking the time on daisuke’s wall, 8 am. shit, you’re up late.
you felt how warm your body actually was, warmer than you've been in your own bunk in months. daisuke's blanket is bunched around your shoulders, and somewhere in the night he'd thrown an arm over your waist in his sleep. he's still out, breathing slow.
you extract yourself carefully, not wanting to wake him. his arm falls onto the mattress with a soft thump, and murmurs something unintelligible, rolling onto his side.
the cold air of the corridor hits you as you slide the door open. you snuck your way back to your room to get dressed before heading out for “breakfast.”
your boots echo against the metal floors as you make your way to the lounge. the smell hits you before you see it. recycled coffee, the faint burnt tang of whatever passed for oatmeal this cycle.
swansea's already there sitting at the table, hunched over a chipped mug, staring at nothing. across from him, anya sits with her own cup, held in both hands like she's warming them. she looks up when you enter, offering a small, tired smile, "morning, y/n."
“morning.”
swansea takes a sip of his coffee, eyes you over the rim. "saw you heading to daisuke's quarters last night."
you flinched, sitting down beside of anya, “noticed that, did you?"
he chuckles, “hard not to. kid's got a big mouth when he laughs." he takes a sip, "good to see someone's getting some rest around here."
anya's lips turned upward, almost amused.
she rotates her mug slowly, watching the dark liquid swirl. "daisuke's a good person. he's got a way of making things feel…better than what they actually are.”
“yeah,” you said in almost a whisper. “guess i’ll go start cleaning. any requests on what room i should do first?”
“can you clean med bay? i’ve been neglecting it lately, sorry.” anya replied.
“it’s all good, i don’t mind.” you gave her a reassuring smile before standing up and walking over to the vending machine that has coffee and snacks. with a few tries none of it’s coming out. “uh swansea?”
“yeah?”
“i think it’s broken.”
“god dammit.” he grumbled.
you move with ease, picking up trash, wiping down counters, sweeping, and finally ending it with mopping. you did that routine in every single living area, other than the cockpit. you’re not allowed back there at all, and you’re thankful that jimmy doesn’t force you to go in there.
lastly, utility room. swansea’s tools are hidden, understandable, but you weren’t on a hunt for them anyway.
the door slid open, daisuke stood in the door way with a slanted smile, “hey! you done in here?”
“just about.” you looked around the room with your head, glancing back at daisuke, “i had a really fun time last night.” you put your hands in your pockets, fingers pulling at the loose thread inside.
daisuke shut the door and took some steps closer, “me too! you’re welcome to come over and stay the night if you want. it gets lonely sometimes.” he shrugged.
you let out a dry laugh, “yeah, and i’ll take you up on that.”
the rest of the day went by smoothly, almost a little too smooth. it’s quiet everywhere, most likely because the day before everyone found out they’re getting laid off. jimmy was also no where to be seen.
as you turned the corner to park your janitor cart you accidentally ran into curly, almost knocking him down.
“holy shit i’m so sorry.” you put your hands over your mouth.
curly chuckled and waved you off, “it’s okay, i’m not hurt, but that’s what happens when you’re running down these halls.”
“ha, yeah…”
“look, about yesterday and what jimmy said-“
“it’s all good, captain. i stopped caring the moment he started doing and saying his jimmy things.”
“i understand that…but i just want to-“
“he’s wrong, you know? that little incident doesn’t define me as a person.“
curly sighed in defeat, “i know. sorry that i said anything, i just wanted to check up on you.”
“thanks, but i’m honestly doing a lot better.” you looked down at your cart and faintly smiled.
“oh yeah?” curly crossed his arms and leans on the metal hallway with his shoulder, “daisuke isn’t it?”
you looked back up at him, a surprised smile formed on your face, “oh shut up. it’s nothing like that.”
“if you say so. just remember, walls are thin.”
“oh it’s definitely nothing like that.” you laughed, feeling your face heat up out of embarrassment. “i see him as a friend, that’s all.” but do you though? especially after curly put that thought in your head?
he chuckles and pushes himself off the wall, “i’ll let you get back to it. you finished your rounds, correct?”
“yeah. was just on my way to put this cart up.”
like the night before you couldn’t get any sleep, especially after what curly had mentioned. sure, you recently started to find daisuke cute and all, but ever since that conversation with curly that’s all you been thinking. you try to shake these thoughts away, you’re just a horny adolescent with hormones.
you debated for about 5 minutes to wether or not you should spend the night with daisuke again, convincing yourself you don’t have sexual feelings and that if it was normal yesterday, than today shouldn’t be any different, right?
god what you were thinking. you stopped in front of daisuke's quarters, taking a breath then knock softly on the door.
a muffled sound comes from inside before the door slides open with a hiss.
daisuke stands there in his usual sleeping clothes, leaning against the frame and gives you that same smile, “hey,” he says, stepping back and gesturing for you to come in.
you sat on the edge of his bed and pulled your knees to your chest, your fuzzy socks resting on the very edge.
daisuke sinks beside of you, shoulders touching each other, either by accident or on purpose. fuck, maybe curly was sort of right about the whole “fucking” idea.
“you spending the night again?” he leans his weight to his arms, “if so then great! i had like, the best sleep ever.”
you quietly giggled, “that was the plan. too cold in my room.”
“seriously?”
eh, maybe you were lying, maybe curly was right.
“yep.” you leaned back, legs bent at your knee with your feet holding them up on his bed. your t-shirt rises a bit, exposing parts of your stomach.
daisuke blinks, a soft flush creeps up his face, coloring his cheeks a deep red. he looks away quickly, though his eyes keep drifting back, drawn by nerves. he feels embarrassed at himself, getting so worked up that your stomach is partially exposed.
he swallows hard, laying down on his side and using his elbow and to prop him up. you turned your head to look at him as he’s hoping that you can’t notice him blushing.
“you okay?” you asked softly with a hint of amusement.
“huh? oh yeah, pfft i’m fine…why you asking?”
you shrugged, “you’re not usually this quiet. it’s not a bad thing, but i like it when you talk.”
“you do? i feel like everyone hates it and thinks im annoying.”
you scooted closer to him, which felt like it was already impossible due to how small this bed is, “i don’t think you’re annoying.”
his lips curled upwards, looking down directly at you.
without thinking you leaned up and kissed him. his eyes wide with shock before closing them. his hand moved to hold the back side of your head but you dropped your head down, “shit, sorry," you blurb out, your heart hammers against your ribs as the panic set in. "just ignore that-“
daisuke didn’t reply. his eyes fixated on your lips and collar bones, all the way down to your fuzzy socks. he kisses you back with a desperate and clumsy manner. his hand finds your hip, letting it sit there until he tightens it, his fingers digging into your sleeping shorts and slightly into your skin.
as each second goes by the kiss got sluttier, tongues pressing against each others, your hand holding the back of his neck as he instinctively grinds against your thighs.
he pulls back just a fraction, his forehead resting against yours. he opened his mouth to say something but closes it. he leans his head up a bit, “i never had sex before.” he winces in cringe, “but i watch porn so i think i know what i’m doing but like-“
you close the gap again and maneuvered yourself to where you’re on top hovering over him. you pulled back and sat on his hips. he stares at you with a flustered face, mouth opening a bit with his lips glistening. you tugged off his t-shirt with his help. he looks at you with desperation for you to reciprocate. you pulled off your shirt from over your head and tossed it. his eyes widened and he leaned up, hands immediately fondling your tits. a quiet moan escaped as he kneaded the plump skin. he brought his head closer, bringing his tongue out to lap at the nub. he lightly sucked your tit, too afraid that he’s gonna go too hard and that you’ll be turned off. his other hand softly pinching the abandoned nipple before switching. you bit your bottom lip, fingers tangling in his hair as you grind softly against him.
he pulled back, saliva connecting before breaking. you pushed him onto his back, scooting down and bringing your face closer to his groin area with an obvious hard on. you smirked, gripping his pajama pants and underwear and sliding them down. his cock sprung up, leaking out so much pre-cum that you swore he was about to bust.
you only ever given head 2 other times, and that was such a long time ago. you’re getting nervous, but quickly shook those thoughts away after seeing daisuke practically whimpering and shaking out of excitement. you brought your tongue out and gripped the base of his cock, swirling your tongue around his sensitive tip. he shuddered in response, creating a fist and trying to distract himself from cumming right then and there.
you almost swallowed him whole, but he doesn’t care about that, especially when you’re hollowing out your cheeks and sliding your head up and down his cock. his room was dim enough to where he can see you lock eyes with his. tears slightly coming out due to his dick touching your gag reflex. squelching noises barely filled the room, his fingers now tangled in your hair and pulling them ever so slightly so he doesn’t hurt you. you pulled your head up, making a popping noise with your mouth before tilting your head, “did i do something wrong?”
he let out a dry and nervous laugh, “god no. can you...do something for me? like, something crazy?" his expression is pleading, big brown eyes staring deeply in yours. “please sit on my face?" he asks, the words tumbling out in a rush of impatience.
your lips tugged into a smirk, fingers gripping your shorts and underwear and pulled them off. he let out a sharp gasp, dick throbbing hard and ever but he would hate himself for cumming, so that’s why he’s begging you to sit on his face. a single digit of his rubbed in-between your wet folds before gripping at your hips, pulling you closer where you can hover over his face with your knees on either side of his head.
you carefully lowered yourself on his face and lips and the moment the weight of you settles over him his hands reached for your waist, digging his nails into your skin.
daisuke's tongue darts out, finding your aching clit. he starts slow, his tongue swirling around the sensitive nub in long, rhythmic strokes, tasting you, savoring every bit of your pussy.
a pleasing moan escaped from you, fingers pinching and rubbing your nipple as the others tangled in his hair.
he begins to suck on your clit with his tongue lapping on the nub, flicking rapidly. your moans increased in volume, having to muffle them with your hands so nobody else could hear. you threw your head back, and lightly grind on his face to get more friction.
daisuke groans against you, the vibration of his voice traveling directly into you.
“mffm-fuck!” you whimpered into your hand, babbling like a mess.
he’s rougher now, overstimulating the area with you borderline screaming into your hands. he instantly grinds his hips, wishing that he can feel your pussy wrap around him, but at the same time he’s so turned on by the fact you’re shaking and trembling on his face.
you barely lifted yourself up and crawled down, leaving trails of kisses on his lips, neck, chest, until you’re straddling his dick with your feet planted on either side of his hips.
“god, y/n...please," he whimpers, holding himself up with his elbows, "please, dude, just...fuck."
daisuke lets out a sharp, strangled gasp as you finally slid down onto him. his back arches sharply against the mattress, head snapping back as his eyes roll up.
his dick stretches out your pussy, feeling a slight sting of pain as completely engulfed his dick. the two of you let out moans as you begin to move and slowly bounce.
you picked up the pace, resting your hands beside his head to give you stability. he’s murmuring out curse words and whimpering before he decides to thrust his hips upwards to feel his tip pressing against your cervix. you let out a high pitched moan, having to bite your lip so hard so you’ll be quiet.
suddenly he wraps his arms around your back, pulling you close against his chest. daisuke uses the momentum of his hips and the leverage of his arms to roll over, a clumsy, uncoordinated maneuver typical of him, but he manages to pin you beneath him.
he settles between your thighs before sliding his throbbing cock back inside. you sharply gasp as he snaps his hips back and forth, hitting that sweet gummy spot inside. your moans matched in sync with each other as yours progressively increases in volume.
“f-fuck,” he whimpered, leaning down and kisses you to muffle your moans.
“i’m-mffm-,”
daisuke leans back up, licking his fingers before pressing and circling them on your clit. your back arched, eyes closing shut at the double stimulation.
as your orgasm reaches its peak daisuke palmed his hand over your mouth, telling you “shh” as your trembled beneath him.
daisuke quickly pulled out, pumping his dick before spurting out warm cum onto your stomach.
the two of you panted, both twitching from the aftershocks. daisuke picked up his t-shirt and wiped off his own cum before throwing it to the ground. he collapsed beside of you, turning his head to look at your messy hair and flustered face. he has a soft, lopsided smile spreading across his face.
“you think everybody heard us?” he asked with a slight humor to his voice.
“guess we’ll find out tomorrow,” you let out a dry laugh, then rolled to your side to face him. his eyelids grew heavy, slowly blinking at you, “hope not…goodnight dude..wait do you need anything? clothes back on? water?” he mumbled with his eyes taking longer to open.
you giggled, “i’m good, i’ll find my clothes…goodnight, daisuke.”
you made sure to get up extra early to take a shower and put on your uniform before facing the day. you and daisuke walked together, hands brushing by as the two of you made your way to the lounge.
swansea was already there at the table eating some oatmeal. he looked up at the two of you and grunted.
“next time you two end up doing the hanky panky please for the love of god be quieter. doesn’t help much better that my room is right beside of daisuke’s.” he mumbled the last sentence.
you and daisuke exchanged looks, hands hiding in pockets and taking a step away from each other.
“sorry,” he cleared his throat. “so uh…what am i learning today?”
“just get out of here.”
daisuke saluted and walked out, you tried to follow behind but swansea called you over. you mentally cursed yourself and took a seat in front of swansea and praying that he’s not about to ask you any questions.
“didn’t think that would ever happened.” he finally said, “in the beginning everytime you looked at him i could see how much you wanted to punch the poor guy.”
“ha, yeah, well he did get me fired and ruined the rest of this trip for me.”
“you still bitchen about that?”
you chuckled and faintly smiled, “i don’t have hard feelings about that anymore.”
“doesn’t seem like it,” he softly laughed, “but seriously, keep it down…and make sure he’s treating you good, ‘kay?”
“yeah, i’ll do both of those things. anyway um…any specific cleaning requests?”
“nah, go do your thing.”
every day you and daisuke has been fucking. his room, your room, cramped up in the bathroom, med bay, almost getting caught each time but that’s what makes it fun. face down ass up, 69ing, reverse cowgirl, almost every sex position you two achieved it. with no formal spoken words you two agreed on being friends with benefits, mainly because neither one of you mentioned wanting a relationship. for a week straight that’s all you two been doing late at night, fucking.
you woke up naked in daisuke’s arms at 4 am. you quickly put on your t-shirt and shorts and walked down the hallway to get a bottle of water from the kitchen.
jimmy stood by the vending machines, kicking it to get it to work but ended up cussing at it. he locked eyes on your messy hair, down to your exposed, scarred up thighs. you shifted your weight and crossed your arms, “just getting water.”
jimmy opened his mouth to say something but closed it before shaking his head, “you gonna tell the intern to fix the vending machine?”
“um…i can if you want me to.”
“yeah, go do that.”
{not one care in sight from you}
“shit..fuck that hurt.” you rolled up your pants leg to inspect your scraped knee. you used the metal wall to help yourself up, limping over to med bay to knock on the door. a faint cry could be heard, “anya?”
her cries stopped, feet shuffling to slide open the door. her face was red and puffy, eyebags under her eyes. she quickly wipes them off and puts on a smile that’s not so convincing to you.
“what’s wrong?” you asked.
she softly smiled, “i would say the same. what happened to your knee?” she squatted to get a closer look.
“i uh, tripped and skinned my knee.”
“that does look bad. here, come inside.”
you sat on the bed, watching her quietly grab antiseptic, cotton pads and bandages. she then sat in front of you, pouring a bit of the antiseptic on the pad, “this might hurt.”
you hissed in pain as she continues to pat on the wound.
“sorry,” she mumbled, “it’ll be over soon.”
she bandaged your knee up and pulled down your pant leg. “there, good as new.” she smiled, her eyes still glossy from before.
“are you okay? i’m worried about you.”
“yeah, yeah i’m fine.” she quickly stood up, “do you need help off the bed?”
“anya,” you said with stern, “i told you what’s wrong with me in the past, i also want to know if you’re okay.”
she exhaled a long breath and sat down on the chair again, “i’m pregnant.” she mumbled.
“holy shit…by who?”
“it doesn’t matter by who. just…please don’t tell anyone.”
“does curly know?”
she nod, “yeah, he does. but it’s not his, so don’t go thinking that.”
oh my god is it swansea’s?
“what are you gonna do?”
she tears up again, looking down at her hands, “i don’t know and that’s what’s killing me. please y/n, please don’t tell anyone.”
“you’re safe with me, i swear. but i’m serious, if you ever need to talk im here for you.”
she looked back up, giving a genuine smile, “i know, y/n. here, let me help you down.” she stood up again and let you put your arm around her to help you off. “come back in 12 to 24 hours to get it changed.”
“i will, thanks.”
you limped your way to the janitor closet, the door automatically sliding shut. you fumbled with some cleaner, dropping it and spilling it on the concrete floor. you sighed, grab some paper towels and kneel down to clean up the mess.
voices of jimmy and anya could be heard, sounded like arguing but you couldn’t make out what they were saying.
“oh shit,” you mumbled, putting context clues together.
jimmy stomps off, his boots clanking on the metal floors of the hallway. you waited for a bit, grabbing a broom to sweep med bay.
you quietly snuck your way inside to do your remaining chores. you typically don’t finish them in a short amount of time, but if you do your job before anyone else finishes theirs it’s easier to sneak off and fuck daisuke—it’s a whole new plan the two of you have been working on.
limping while sweeping was one of the most difficult things you ever had to do. the broom wasn’t those big ones, nor the pan was the ones that had a long stick, pony express gave you a broom and pan for less than $3 most likely. you had to bend your knee even more just so you can hold the pan right.
the med bay door slid open, anya with tears and her fist balled at her sides stared right at you. “get out.”
you stood up, leaning onto the broom for some support, “i was sweeping—“
“i don’t care, y/n. get out.” her voice was sharp as her chest heaved up and down.
“anya…” you said in a low tone, “whats wrong? i care a lot—“
“please get out. now.” she pointed.
you sighed, grabbing the pan and limping away.
you put away your supplies and limped back to the main area. daisuke was already sitting there, staring at the sunset screen. he smiled and patted a spot next to him. “why are you limping?” he led his hand out for you to take.
“skinned the fuck out of my knee.” you let out a dry laugh before laying your head on daisuke’s shoulder.
“ouch, how?”
“i was sorta running and tripped over my own feet…has anya been acting weird lately?”
“she looks more tired and kinda sad than usual. why you asking?”
“it’s just…ugh i don’t know. i worry about her. she’s the other only girl on this ship and when i had my little incident she helped me and always made sure i was okay…i want to do the same but…i don’t know, man.” you covered your face with your hands.
the next few seconds was covered by blaring alarms, red emergency lights, the whole tulpar shaking. daisuke shouted something, but the alarms made it hard for you to hear him.
you laid on the ground, hissing in pain with your knees tucked and hands on top of your head. daisuke did the same, huddling up close, putting his hands on top of your head instead of his.
“you idiot, protect yourself!” you shouted, but the sound of your voice got swallowed by a thunderous explosion. your bodies forcefully rolled because of the momentum and unfortunately strucking the back of your head into the wall. you screamed out, holding your head tightly to soothe the pain. daisuke crawled over, his hands bleeding from cuts. he hovered over you, eyes widening with worry and saying something but your ears was ringing too much to listen.
your vision became blurry, eyes fluttering. daisuke lightly slapped your face, then carefully held you against his chest so it would be harder for you to throw up and choke on your own vomit. he rested his back against the couch, occasionally kissing the top of your head and praying that whatever the fuck just happened won’t kill anyone.
ik majority of people hate pregnancy tropes but i lowkey will think it’s funny that the reader showed up to the circus 2 months pregnant and is like confused af if she even still is (and the avatar) and jax is like ?? i’d still smash and caine is like ooo experiments. anyway lmk if you’re interested in reading a small fic about that?? 😭
a/n: i’m fighting the bubonic plague rn so here’s a very short jax eating out the reader drabble <3
~~
jax does not take his time. he loves to overstimulate you so much that your thighs are practically squeezing his head. he forcefully spreads them apart more with his hands as his tongue continues to swirl around your swollen clit before latching onto it.
his ears are getting tugged at, face all flustered and red, eyes occasionally fluttering open to look at you moaning out his name and noises. he’ll lean his head up to lick his fingers before diving back down to your pussy, inserting his digits to hit that gummy sweet spot.
you’re loud, about to cum all over his pretty face and fingers as your toes curled and back arched even more. jax mutters words, telling you that you taste good and how beautiful you are as he’s fucking you with his tongue and fingers. with a final cry your body jerked and trembled as your orgasm came crashing through.
a/n: im not opening requests BUT i have to write stuff about ep 8 bc…oh my god. and apparently the torture went on for 3ish days until caine got deleted??
tags/cw: jax x reader, drabble, graphic abuse??, sa reference (not graphic) (all is caine), angst with slight comfort, bystander effect,
___
knifes cutting you into pieces, skin melting as the fire engulfed you, bone breaking simulator, everyday you’re wishing for death.
the only peace you’re getting is at night when caine thankfully lets everyone go to sleep before the next torturing.
tonight was different. caine spent hours in your room doing things you swore he would never do to anyone. blood dripping down, bruises forming all over your face and legs, the cold chains shackled to your wrists and ankles clanking as caine ruined and abused your body.
jax covered his ears to drown out your cries for help, mentally cursing at everyone for not helping you. he’s too afraid to unlock your door and see what’s actually happening to you. he doesn’t want to see that sight every time he closes his eyes or when he stops rage baiting people. he wanted to help so bad but…was too afraid.
he knew it stopped the moment it was silent, other than your sobs of course, and with a shy, weak knock his eyes jolted wide and opened the door. he let out a breath of relief, seeing that caine did fix your physical state again. jax waited for you to speak, foot tapping impatiently, eyes looked at you with worry. your mouth slightly opened to ask to stay with him.
the pain itself was gone, but your legs was too tired to walk correctly as you shuffled your feet to his bed.
jax felt the presence of what actually happened. his stomach churned, fist tighten, wanting to yell and punch caine but hated the fact he was too much of a coward to do anything. all he could do was stand by the bed and watch as you stared at the wall.
“what did he do?” he mumbled.
your throat tightened.
with hesitation jax laid down beside of you, keeping as far of a distance between your bodies. the room was filled with eerie silence compared to the noises escaping from your room 30 minutes ago.
you rolled over to your other side and scooted closer to him. he was tense, trying to relax but couldn’t in the slightest.
“i want this to be over.” you whined, voice above a whisper.
jax looked at your glossy eyes, “it’ll be over soon…he’ll get tired.”
“i don’t think so…if he comes looking for me you’ll protect me right?”
his pupils went pinpoint, stammering over his words to form a sentence but he couldn’t conjure one.
“i just want to stay by your side…please don’t leave me alone.”
jax gulped, he couldn’t help you then so why would you want to feel protected by him? “i won’t leave.” he held you tighter against him, tears threatening to leave his eyes. he’ll try to protect you next time.
hi yall! so sorry for not updating in a bit, work is SLAMMING me. thank you for being patient! i have 3 stuff in my drafts: cupid, gun sex, and chap 4 of two of hearts! i hope to have some of the requests out monday and/or tuesday!
Hi,could you write smut about pomni helping an insomniac partner (fem) be tired enough to fall asleep (either headcanons or a short) sorry for bad english and feel free to delete this!
a/n: ofc! and your english is really good!
cw: drabble, established relationship, little plot, eating out reader reaciving, fingering, VERY short
contents
“pomni,” you whispered, shaking your girlfriend.
“hm?”
“wanna explore the circus?”
“it’s 2am.”
“i can’t sleep and it’s driving me crazy. ive been awake for days.”
pomni lazily turned her body to where she’s facing you, “what all have you done to help you sleep?”
“i don’t know, counting sheep i guess.”
she giggled, “anything else?”
“push ups.”
“so that’s what you were doing earlier…i have an idea.” she scooted down completely under the covers and sluggishly pulled down your shorts and underwear.
“are you…are you gonna eat me out?” you giggled, hands reaching to her hair as she settled underneath your thighs.
“it’ll relax you enough to help you sleep.” her breath against your pussy sent chills down your spine.
she placed a tender kiss on your clit before dragging the flat of her tongue along your slit. you hummed, barely tightening the grip of her strands.
slowly, she ran her tongue along your slit again, lingering at the top, swirling around your clit with the tip of her tongue before moving down to dip briefly into your entrance. you bucked your hips as your thighs lightly trembled against her temples.
pomni sealed her lips around your clit, lightly sucking on the sensitive, swollen nub. her tongue flicked and swirled around it, changing between broad laps and pointed flicks. you barely let out a whimper, grinding your hips against her lower face.
she brought one hand down to circle your entrance with her middle finger, barely breaking the surface before slipping that single digit inside knuckles deep.
“mfmm,” you moaned, spreading your thighs apart more.
she pumped her finger steadily, curling her finger to brush against that perfect spongey spot, automatically making your back slightly arch from the bed. she added a second finger, making you squirm and whimper.
“p-pomni..f#%^!” you moaned out, “im ss’close!”
“that's it, baby,” she mumbled against your clit before sucking on it again. pomni rubbed firmly against that special gummy spot inside as she pumped her fingers faster. your thighs shook even more, moans increasing in volume.
pomni moaned against your clit as your orgasm rippled and crashed over you, natural lubricant coating her mouth and chin as you grinded. she kept pumping and curling her fingers and lapping at your clit as you rode out your orgasm.
your body shook and jerked beneath her, hips bucking at the aftershock. pomni slowed her movements, then easing out her fingers before bringing them to her mouth to clean them.
pomni pulled up your underwear and shorts before tucking you and her back under the covers. she watched as your breathing slowed down tremendously and could see your eyes slowly closing shut.
“thank you,” you mumbled, “i needed that.”
pomni giggled and held you tight against her chest, “i hope it helped.”
she got her answer the moment she heard those soft snores coming from you. she smiled, kissing the back of your head before soon falling asleep.
ok this request might be a liiiiiittle out of pocket..... but imagine before caine lifts the sex filter reader honestly just wants to feel literally ANYTHING so she asks her beeeauuutiful girlfriend pomni to hurt her! on purpose!!! bc really in this place what's the difference between pleasure and pain????
being hypersexual in a “family friendly” circus is potentially worse than abstracting in your eyes. you constantly cried, humping your pillow, grinding on your girlfriend’s thigh, but in the end you just end up breaking down in tears because you can’t get that satisfaction.
pomni cupped your cheeks with her hands and wiped the warm tears away with her thumbs, “why are you crying?” she frowned.
“because i can’t feel anything! this is hell, pomni.”
“i’m sorry, baby. is there anything i can do to make you feel better? maybe we can just cuddle instead?”
you let out a defeated sigh and rolled off of her, your back resting against the sides of her arms. she softly smiled and turned to hold you closer and tighter in her arms.
“ow! you’re laying on my hair…” you abruptly sat up, “pull my hair,” you mumbled, looking down at her and pleading with your eyes.
pomni sat up with a concern expression, “huh?”
“please. please i need to feel something just pull my hair, slap me, choke me, bite me do something.”
“i don’t like hurting you,” she frowned.
“i am begging. hurting is the point, and if im in too much pain i’ll say stop i promise.”
she sighed and nodded before gently kissing your lips. her hands tangled in your hair, being hesitant about pulling it and hurting you but you whimpered against her lips.
pomni swallowed her beliefs and lightly pulled at the strands. you hummed and cupped her soft cheeks with your hands as the kiss deepened and became hungrier.
she pulled the strands on the top of your head and physically moved you to where you’re straddling her hips and laying on her chest.
pomni attacked your neck and nippled and bit at the skin, her hand and fingers still not leaving the strands of your hair. you involuntarily grind against her hips.
“mfmm,” you hummed.
pomni pushed you to where she’s now sitting on your stomach and attacked your neck once more, pulling harder at the strands of your hair as she suctioned more all over your neck and any part of exposed skin, leaving purple bruises all over your body. you begged for more, more stimulation, more pain, you need it.
she gripped your neck hard, fingers digging into the skin as she kissed you harder, biting your bottom lip in the process. the air flow got constricted, even though you don’t need to breathe the pain was still there.
she leaned up from your swollen lips and lightly slapped your cheek, “m-more,” you managed to say with a constricted air flow.
pomni shook away her thoughts of being scared to hurt you and slapped you harder, making you moan a tiny bit.
tears welded in your eyes from the burning sensation on your face, but you only nodded your head to make her keep going. she let go of your neck, making you gasp for air before attacking your sore neck by biting it. she proceeded to bite more on your exposed skin as tears flowed.
pomni stared at your messed up state, hair messy, wet face, lip swollen and busted, noticeable slap marks on your cheek, bruises and bite marks all over your skin, she felt so bad about what she’s doing to you. you looked at her with a weak smile, saying more with a strained voice. she sighed and shook her head, “i feel really bad for hurting you.”
“don’t! please pomni, this feels so good to me. if i had a p#%%^ i would’ve came by now.” you let out a weak laugh.
“i know, but you look like you got beat up.” she lightly giggled before having that slight frown, “i love you too much to do this.”
“if you love me you would do this for me.”
those words cut through her. she sighed and crinkled her nose before raising a fist and sucker punch your jaw.
“f#%^!” you yelled out, holding your jaw to soothe the pain as you moaned from the odd pleasure.
pomni repeatedly said sorry over and over but you shook your head, “f#%* that felt great,” you wearily laughed. the bite marks, bruises, slaps and punches radiated your entire body with pain but it felt good.
pomni slid off of you and inspected the wounds she created, trying to make sure she didn’t hurt you too bad.
“relax,” you mumbled, “this feel good to me.”
your girlfriend frowned and held you gently against her body, “i hated doing that…but i love you more than that.”
“thank you,” you weakly smiled, “i love you.”
pomni returned the genuine, somewhat worried, smile and gently kissed your cheek, “i love you too.”
how about jax walking in on reader trying a lingerie? 👀
a/n: ofc! i’m just gonna do hc’s for this!
cw: NOT an established relationship bc i realized i do a lot of those, sorta forced fucking,
contents
jax walking in when you’re trying on lingerie
ever since caine made the “shopping mall adventure” you obviously stole a BUNCH of lingerie (and a speaker to blast music)
the moment the adventure was done you locked yourself in your room, blast some music that you enjoyed before arriving here, and tried on about 10 different pieces. some were corsets with stockings, glitter bra and pantie straps, a meshed bra and matching thong set, you name it you bought it
you were FEELING yourself, posing in the mirror, eyeing your body up and down, singing the song that was blaring through the speakers, you didn’t even notice your door being unlocked by that damn key that jax got ahold of
obviously, you yelled at him to get out while covering your tits and pussy with your hands, but he just kicked the door closed and eyed at that very revealing lingerie
“is this an invitation?” “absolutely not!” but your pussy says other wise because it throbbed just thinking about jax ripping those slutty “clothes” off of you
he got handsy real quick, and as much as it confused you, you just let him. palming and squeezing your overfilling tits, hand reaching down to your pussy and lightly rubbed your clit in circles, grabbing a fist full of your hair to pull your head back while he gives love bites. next thing you know he’s ripping that lingerie off of you and bending you over
he made you watch yourself getting fucked in the mirror, and if you turn your head he’ll pull your hair to look in the mirror again
and after filling you up with his cum he made you try on the rest of the lingerie you stole, and if he found one he liked he’ll do it all over again
I love you stories, I was wondering if you could make a Jax x Reader that has undergone a sound, nothing implicate! but this time it's a little hypersexual. a lot of reference to sex, which always says that his body is perfect and sexy but that basically lives it rather badly? I hope it doesn't make you uncomfortable or other! thank you in advance
hi! what do you mean exactly? bc when i think about sound the only thing i can think of is sounding (where a tiny metal rod is put in a dick’s slit), or are you talking about a literal sound? i’m just a little confused and i want to get this right! thanks!
It mayyyyy be a little late but how about Jax and reader fck for Valentine’s Day, like super passionate and real. oh and also the room is lit by candles
a/n: ofc! i was about to do a smut about that but i had to work 7 hours on valentine’s day and didn’t have enough time 🥀
cw: very slight angst, making out, fingering, p in v, cream pie, established relationship,
contents
caine decided to let everyone have a free day since it’s his favorite holiday, valentine’s day. which made everyone confused because why would that holiday be his favorite? you didn’t think too much on that thought.
“what are we doing for valentine’s day?” you collapsed onto jax, making your bed slightly bounce.
“pft, that made up holiday for corporations to scam everyone?”
“oh shut up. what corporations? we’re stuck in a fake world so might as well do the holidays…and also,” you nuzzled your head in the crook of his neck, lazily throwing your leg over his, “i want to spend this holiday with you.”
“fine. what you got in mind?”
you shrugged, “i don’t know, do something romantic like dinner and candles?”
“sounds boring.”
“jaaax,” you whined, “we’ve been dating for a while now and we haven’t done anything romantic.”
“what makes this day any different?”
you leaned up, holding your head with your hand and elbow to look at his nonchalant expression, “please? does it really kill you to be a bit more romantic?”
he let out a long sigh, “fine. i’ll gather something up.”
the rest of the day you haven’t seen jax. it was well over past 6pm and not once has he barged into your room to have this date. you groaned out of annoyance with slight anger. you knew you shouldn’t put your trust into him. jax doesn’t do romantic boyfriend stuff ever and you should’t have thought he’ll change.
you stomped your way to jax’s door and banged on it, “did you forget our date?”
“relax! just give me a sec!” he shouted, silently cussing to himself because the fire wasn’t lighting.
with your arms crossed and foot impatiently tapping you waited…and waited until finally his door opened.
your mouth agape, eyes trailing from his face down to his suit and tie. “wow,” you mumbled.
“where did you get that tight skimpy dress?” he placed his hands just above your hip and pulled you closer to him.
“i stole it from ragatha.”
jax pulled you in his room and shut the door with his foot. he leaned against it and turned you around to where you’re facing his decorated room. he kisses the sides of your neck, nibbling at the skin as his fingers dug deeper into your hips.
his room was dimly lit by candles laying around every surface. rose petals making a shape of a heart on the floor and bed.
“you did all of this?” you hummed at the soft bites on your neck.
“mhm. got me running all over this d#%^ place trying to find them.” jax gently nudged you toward the bed, lightly pushing you down with him hovering above. he seductively stared into your eyes.
he kisses you firmly, lips pressing against yours with hunger. his hands come up to cup your face, holding you in place as he deepens the kiss. the plastic roses crunch beneath you as he shifts his weight. jax’s breathing grows heavier as the kiss intensifies. his hands slides your skimpy dress up just above your tits.
he rolled to his side, not yet leaving your plump lips. his fingers hooked around the fabric that was covering your soaked pussy and slowly pulled it aside.
jax slid his fingers inside slowly, testing and teasing your pussy. he grins at your hums of pleasure as he pumps them in and out. he curls his fingers slightly, finding that angle that makes your breath hitch.
"you're soaked," he murmurs between your moans and kisses.
“f#%^,” you let out a breathy moan, shuddering because his fingers was pressing against that gummy spot that makes you weak.
“mhm, i could do this all night..making you feel good. you want that don’t you?”
all you could do was whimper in response.
“use your words, baby.”
“f-f#^*, yes i d-do.”
"tell me when you're close," he says, pulling back just enough to look down at you with those seductive, half lidded eyes.
his fingers curled and pumped with increasing speed. the squelch from your natural lubricant could be heard, making you feel slight embarrassment but jax was progressively getting hornier.
your moans increased in volume, back arching as you shuddered, “i’m—s#%^,—s’close!”
he leans in to kiss you harder, his tongue sliding in your warm mouth as his hand works faster, “let it all out," he murmurs against your lips, his thumb brushing over your swollen clit. “come on, baby.”
with a cry you reached your orgasm, pussy convulsing around his fingers as your hand gripped tightly on his black tie.
"f#%*, baby, " he says, keeping his fingers moving through the aftershocks, drawing out every last wave.
jax’s eyes are locked on your face, watching intently as your orgasm plays out. “you look so beautiful right now i could worship you.” he doesn't pull his hand away immediately, just wanting to let his fingers rest there. he leans down to place soft kisses along your jawline.
jax stood up and unbuttoned his shirt and pants, throwing them off to the sides before hooking his fingers around your panties waistband and pull it off in one smooth motion. he did the same with his own, leaving his cock springing free.
he hovers over you again to kiss you harder, more demanding with hunger. his tongue slides in as his hands roam over your body.
he leans up positions himself at your entrance, one hand gripping your hips while the other guides himself. he he pushes in firmly, both of you gasping.
"f#%^," he groans, his eyes rolling back slightly “so f#%^ing tight."
he settles into a slow rhythm, his hips rolling, making you hum at the feeling of every vein and every inch.
"you like me filling you up like this?" he asks, his voice strained with pleasure.
“mhm,” you nodded, rolling your bud and squeezing your own tit.
his fingers slid down to your swollen clit and lightly rubbed it in circles as your back arched.
“atta girl,” he threw one leg over his shoulder, fingers lightly digging into your skin, “taking me so well.”
you were a moaning mess, trying to get words out but it felt impossible.
"tell me what you feel," he encourages, his voice a low purr.
“i—mfm—my p#%%^ thr-obbing and your d#%* filling me up,” you managed to say inbetween gasps, hums, and whimpers.
he threw your other leg up on his shoulders, gripping both your thighs and angled you to where he can repeatedly hit that gummy sweet spot with a more increasing pace. you let out a cry, gripping the covers full of plastic rose petals.
“f#%^!” you whined.
“shh, you’re taking me so well.” he voice was low, speaking through his soft, quick grunts.
he rolled your legs off of his shoulders, pressing your thighs against the bed before reaching to grab at your waist.
jax’s breathing is getting heavier, his body tense as your pussy throbbed around his dick. his hips snapped against yours with each thrust. he bit his bottom lip, staring at your flushed face, messy hair, mouth open in a perfect “o.”
“f#%*, you’re so beautiful.” he muttered.
you covered your moaning mouth with your hands as the knot in your tummy tightened.
“come on, baby. let me hear you," he purred, leaning down to move your hands and cup your cheek.
“i’m s’close!”
he burried his head into you neck, one hand under your head while the other is resting on your lower back. his lips trail up your neck, leaving gentle kisses as he still kept that fast and deeper pace.
your orgasm completely washed over you, body trembling against him as your pussy spasms all over his cock.
“f#%^,” he grunted, letting you ride out the aftershocks while he continues to thrust deep inside.
jax groans in your ear, his eyes rolling back slightly as his snapped against yours one final time. his cock pulsed and twitched inside as he spurts thick white ropes of cum in your pussy.
he laid there inside you for some more seconds before leaning back up and pulling out. he picked up your panties and slid them back up on you before pulling down that dress. you panted a bit more, watching him put on his clothes and button up his shirt, fixing his tie before reaching his hand out to you.
you smiled as he pulled you up, holding you close against his heaving chest.
“ready for dinner?”
you giggled, “yeah but how did you even get dinner?”
“i bribed bubble.”
you slightly pulled back to look at his face, “with what?”
“if i tell you, you might be mad.”
“fair enough.” you got on your tippy toes to kiss his lips, “i love you…you don’t have to say it back because i know you but…i wanted to let you know.”
he stiffened a bit, gathering some seconds of silence before relaxing with a genuine, heart felt smile on his face, “i…love you too.”
embarrassed to do anything , let alone make a noise .
Do whatever you want with this idea !!
a/n: ofc!
cw: mentions of humiliation
contents
~~
jax x ambivert reader headcannons
jax isn’t the type to easily fall in love. he thinks love and relationships is just a stupid thing
however the moment he met you a part of him “falls in love” with your personality, mainly because it matches his
he likes the idea that you say your thoughts out loud and doesn’t really have an “inside” voice
your lack of reading the room skills is what got you two together. all he did was look at you in a certain way and you blurted out that his face looks rideable
obviously, you two immediately got together and you were alllll bark and no bite
jax teases you ruthlessly while fucking about how shy you are. he’ll make marks about how hot your body looks, how slutty you look while sucking his dick, says things about how pretty your cunt looks while it’s being fucked by his cock, and your only replies were whimpers and moans
whenever he’s eating you out or “makes” you ride his face you get so embarrassed and bury your face with your hands. it got to the point where he pins your hands
he for sure thought that you were going to be on the more control side but no that was not the case
it actually turns him on a bit knowing that he’s making you feel so shy and humiliated during sex. after? you act like you’re not shy anymore
no matter if you’re a huge extrovert and then introvert when it comes to sex, he still loves you, even though he’ll probably won’t say it
I was wondering if I could request a one shot for Jax x reader who was a victim of sa (nothing descriptive but I hope that’s okay since you write heavy topics, if not that’s fine), and because of that she doesn’t like being touched. Imagine being friends with him and decently close with him to where you hang out in each others rooms and stuff, but just after the sensorship is lifted and they all kinda look a bit more anatomically accurate and he gets a bit handsy and reader just shuts down, stresses and leaves to calm down without being able/wanting to explain.
Please no smut, preferably just a hurt comfort kinda scenario if that’s okay? Thank you!
a/n: ofc! i can literally write almost any topic
cw: mentions of sa nothing too graphic, angst, angst with comfort, platonic, slight touching??, refrence to the theory that jax was being abused before arriving at the circus, maybe ooc
contents
running away to escape was your best option, but that escaped turned into being transported to this odd, god forsaken “world.”
you were timid at first, just like how pomni was, but something was different with you. you didn’t freak out, instead you felt somewhat relieved at the fact you were able to get out of that situation.
everyone pretty much left you alone, other than jax of course who picked up on your personality. timid, quiet, off putting when it comes to him bumping into your shoulder, even when he tries to make jokes with you you just shrug him off and politely smile.
at first you were anxious, but soon realized this world has no features. nothing can hurt you, nothing can make you feel the humiliation and horror. for some odd reason you stuck around with jax. sure, he was an ass, but you soon grown to just ignore his comments and came into a realization that surely there’s a reason as to why he’s acting like this.
you eased your way into his mind, asking questions about his past and all. he was skeptical at first, but as days passed and he spends time in your room he opened up about how his dad was a bad drunk and how he lost two of his best friends to abstracting—pretty much he’s afraid of getting too close and personal.
you didn’t laugh, or make jokes, you just kept quiet with a sorrow look. with hesitation you wanted to touch his back for comfort but you quickly pulled your hand away. he noticed, about to say something about it but stopped himself.
he liked how you didn’t force anything out of him, just sit next to him and talk about things that didn’t matter.
during an adventure something small happened. climbing a cliff was the adventure, and with a missstep you almost fell but jax quickly grab your wrist and hoisted you back to the rocks. your body stiffened, breath hitched, and with the adrenaline you were the first to reach the top but you didn’t wait for anyone else to finish, instead you ran away so far where hardly any one can find you.
with a raised brow and somewhat curious and concerned look jax quickly climbed the cliff and caught up to you, shouting your name and asking “what the h#%% happened?”
you stopped dead in your tracks, glossy eyes staring back at him and shook your head.
that night you didn’t talk until he unlocks your door, seeing you covered up. you weren’t sobbing, or sniffiling, just stare with a dissociated blank expression.
“are you afraid of heights or something? you can’t die here.”
“somewhat…just shaken up that’s all.” you replied in a weak and numb voice.
he knew something was up but didn’t berate you. “did i grab your wrist too hard? sorry im soooo strong.” he joked, trying to lighten up the mood and praying to whoever that he didn’t fuck things up.
you gulped, “yeah…remember you said about your sh#% father? my dad would do the same.” a complete lie.
“oh sh#%,” he mumbled.
you sat up from the bed and looked at him. the room was almost too dark, you could only see his silhouette and not the regret on his face.
“it’s okay, it was a long time ago.” you gave a reassuring smile but he couldn’t see it.
“well, i’m crashing here for tonight.” he took one of your pillows and laid down with it on the floor.
you were about to kick him out, too afraid to have him sleep in here even though there’s a filter. he wasn’t sleeping by your bed, in fact far away with his back turned towards you.
it was one of the best sleeps you ever had since the incident.
days had passed, occasional sleepovers would happen, and jax got so close to you he even let you see his room. a room you definitely weren’t expecting to look like, but you loved it. you felt more safe being in his room than yours. you asked why the room looks like this but he waved you off, and like from before you don’t berate him with questions you just let it be.
you especially liked laying on his bed. it was soft and appealed your eyes more than your own room. he sat by your feet and you quickly pulled your legs up to your chest.
“chill, i’m not gonna tickle you or something…that’s gross.”
you relaxed your worried eyes and snorted. “thanks, i appreciate it.”
he didn’t glance away, just continued to stare. he knew something was weird but couldn’t put a finger on it or even know what to ask.
~
“alright that’s it! i’ve had enough of these arguments!” caine shouted, then with a snap of his fingers everyone immediately felt different. “there!” another snap and he was gone.
your breathing became ragged, slowly looking down at your now realistic body. you’re mentally screaming no over and over in your mind. you thought you were safe, felt so comfortable being around jax but now you’re afraid all over again.
jax looked down at his own body smirked before glancing over at you. “jesus, i can tell you’re happy.” he laughed.
you didn’t reply, just crossed your arms over your new plush chest and power walked to your room.
“guess i’ll do it on my own.” jax mumbled.
hours had passed and yet you still haven’t left your room. jax was about to unlock your door but because the filter just got lifted he gave you a knock…and then another…and another.
“you done in there?” he asked annoyed, “i’m bored.”
you opened the door just enough so he wouldn’t come in, “what?” you mumbled, not looking in his eyes.
“cut the shit—oh hey i can cuss now…anyway don’t tell me you’re abstracting because-"
“relax! i’m not. just…feel weird that’s all.”
“you gonna open the door?” he placed his hand on it.
“we can hang out in your room…if that’s okay.” there’s more stuff to throw in his room.
“jeez you’re acting weird,” he laughed, “is it because of this new thing that caine did?”
you closed your door and walked that short distance to jax’s room without replying.
“take that as a yes,” he mumbled under his breath.
you sat on the very edge of his bed, leg bouncing up and down, obviously feeling very anxious. you’re cussing at yourself for even staying in here but at the same time he’s your best friend. he never tried to hurt you or touch you at all when there was a filter.
jax leans his back against the wall that was facing the bed. he rested his back foot on it with arms crossed. his eyebrows was raised, “what’s been going on with you today?” he asked in a light hearted tone.
“nothing! this just feels very new…that’s all.” you fully sat on the bed with your hands inbetween your thighs.
“tell me about it.” jax loosens his posture and walks over to sit beside of you, arms resting on his legs, “i’ve been jacking it since this morning.”
you snorted, “seriously?”
“like we all haven’t done it yet? come on! we’ve been stuck here for ages! well for you it’s been a month but still.”
“i don’t really see the point in it.”
“didn’t take you to be a prude.”
“i mean…i don’t know, like you said from before none of this is real.”
“thank god it feels real with this new update. you’re missing out.” he laid down, rubbing his eyes, “you crashing here for tonight?”
“no. sorry.” you’re too afraid to tell the truth as stupid as that sounds. you want to, so bad but something is stopping you. humiliation? having to fully replay the events? giving him ideas? god you hated this new update.
next day you pretended nothing happened and went back to your usual self and not so skittish. the adventure was cops and robbers, nothing too crazy happened. you and jax partnered up, laughed, goofed off and was able to win. for a moment the feelings was gone, the physical sensations and just your overall mood.
jax didn’t change one bit, he was still his old self even with this update. what were you so worried about? he’s a good guy (in your eyes), and never made the suggestion.
the two of you collapsed on his bed, “holy shit that adventure was rough.” you laughed, “i hated running in that forest.”
“my favorite part was you tripping on that tree root and face planted.”
“oh fuck you,” you smiled, turning your head at him.
he rolled to his side and held his head up with his right hand, not breaking eye contact.
“what?” you giggled, “do i have a bug in my hair?”
he shook his head.
“thank god. i hate bugs.” you looked up at the ceiling that has glow and the dark star stickers.
his eyes was fixated on your chest, going up and down slowly with every gentle breath you take. his free hand, almost twitching, immediately squeezed the plush.
your eyes jolted wide opened, pushed his hand off of you.
“fuck sorry! i swear i didn’t mean it!” he stood up with you, “i-”
you balled your fists up by your side, chest heaving more and more. your mouth opened to spill words but your throat felt so dry. you shoved him out the way, heart racing so fast you swore it could explode at any moment.
you locked yourself with shaky hands in your room and backed all the way up against the wall farthest from the door. you slowly slid your back down, staring at the door that had a polaroid picture of the two of you. your vision became blurry.
jax unlocked your door with that damn key as you yelled at him to get out. he didn’t listen, quietly closed the door and walked over to you getting down to your level. with one hand you covered your breasts and the other covering your most intimate spot. “don’t touch me!”
jax immediately backed up with his hands up above his head. his confused look turned into a look of realization before somber within a span of 3 seconds. “shit,” he said above a whisper, “i didnt…uh..know about..” he stammered.
“stop.” your sobs quieted down, but you soon showed no emotions.
jax stared at your emotionless eyes as he slowly dropped his hands. he wanted to ask questions, who, when, and where, wanting to beat up whoever but he felt helpless. what he wanted more was to at least comfort you in any shape or form, and obviously he wanted to punch himself for doing that to you.
“i trusted you.” your voice broke, tightly gripping those areas.
“i-i know, i’m..fuck.” he glanced over at your blankets and pulled them off your bed before dropping it on your body.
he’s mentally cursing at himself, all these thoughts running in his mind. he should’ve put everything together about you not liking physical touch and acting “weird” with the filter being released.
you fully wrapped yourself tightly in the blanket.
jax backed away some more and stood up, “i’ll uh leave you alone now.”
“no.” your voice cracked, “just sit far by the door.”
for a brief moment he let out a sigh of relief. he planted himself by the door, leaning his back against it and looked at you with still worry and regret in his eyes.
he gulped, trying to gather the words but he didn’t even know what to say. “i’m here for you…okay?”
you barely nodded your head, but still acknowledged him. your heart wanted to crawl to him so he can hold you close and rock you back and forth, but your body wouldn’t budge nor act right if he does come close and hold you.
but that’s okay for right now. he’s still here, hands kept close to himself and looking over at you with worry yet reassuring eyes.
one day you’ll be able to fulfill those wants, and jax knows he’ll be right there for you.
Can we get insatiable Jax? Always trying to drag reader off for special alone time.
a/n: ofc! if you want a drabble/oneshot lmk!
cw: maybe established relationship, ref to coercian, slight noncon to touching,
contents
insatiable jax hc’s
• ever since caine lifted up the filter jax has been more touchy with you. always grabbing at your tits and ass, squeezing your thigh, trailing his fingers up to the waist band of your panties. good luck saying stop because he will not.
• he will grab your wrist and forcefully tug you straight to his or your room to rip your clothes off and fuck you with no hesitation or questions asks.
• during an adventure it’s the same thing, dragging you to a secluded area and shove you against a wall or even a tree to fuck you.
• he’s really into coercion, almost guilt tripping you into doing it but you can’t complain because he always makes you cum and he fucks like a beast, purposely hitting those sweet spots so it feels good for you too.
• the craziest thing he’s ever done to you was during the gun adventure he’ll rub the handgun against your pussy before aiming it at your head while he fucks you. what’s even crazier was that your orgasm was louder and harsher than ever because of that gun.
• he’s actually kinda nice, he didn’t shoot you with it <3
