free to be me

Sometimes NSFW If you are under 18 please do not follow

[helloancolie]

Favorite and prettiest place to buy my plants!!

[max-e-doodle]

[nsfwbbabyy]

nice sadists are so so underrated.

if a someone told me they loved that i suffer for them? omg im gonna nut

tenderly caressing my cheek, then slapping it? beautiful 10/10

that fake pity voice? GOD

when they give you a break between spankings to play with your pussy? i’m in love

on that same line of thinking, when there’s playful spankings, and you’re giggling and trying to get away until they’ve had enough of your squirming and they make you stay still? literally ughhh

orgasm denial bc they love hearing you whine?? YES

making you come so many times you cry because they love to see you cry? please please please

don’t even get me started on humiliation.

[my-passionate-life-bw]

[love-personal]

[observando]

[brilliantlybeloved]

[nsfwbbabyy]

nice sadists are so so underrated.

if a someone told me they loved that i suffer for them? omg im gonna nut

tenderly caressing my cheek, then slapping it? beautiful 10/10

that fake pity voice? GOD

when they give you a break between spankings to play with your pussy? i’m in love

on that same line of thinking, when there’s playful spankings, and you’re giggling and trying to get away until they’ve had enough of your squirming and they make you stay still? literally ughhh

orgasm denial bc they love hearing you whine?? YES

making you come so many times you cry because they love to see you cry? please please please

don’t even get me started on humiliation.

[mefinallyfree]

E I G H T

I am so over guys. They are such turds! I’m tired of going through the motions of talking to a guy, thinking he sounds pretty normal and nice, then he gets demanding and pushy and manipulative and he stops talking to you because you won’t do what he wants or he just straight up ghosts you, then nothing. There’s a feeling of nothing...and something. There’s a little piece of you that is gone...something that he has taken. I’m tired of it. I don’t need that in my life. Yeah it would be nice to have a boyfriend or a husband to share life with but I don’t need one. Sure it gets lonely sometimes but I’ve lasted this long haven’t I? I can make it on my own. Plus...what’s the point of sharing my life with someone if I’ve already given all the little bits of myself to random turd faces. From now on I’m on my own...me, myself, and I. And my cats...I can’t leave them out...yes I have also resigned myself to the fact that I have great potential to become one fantastic cat lady. Cheers

[mefinallyfree]

S E V E N

I am tired of not being enough. I am tired of people choosing something or someone else over me. I’m tired of just barely getting there. I know deep down that I am enough and I will be enough for the right guy but sometimes it just sucks. I’m 30 years old and I’ve never been in a serious relationship. I’ve had little flings here and there but I’m exhausted….I’m just exhausted.

P.S. The guy from post six definitely didn’t catch feelings. After not talking to me for two weeks we met up and he told me that he found someone he’d like to actually start dating seriously. So yeah…I just feel like a fool.

[mefinallyfree]

S I X

When you swore you wouldn’t catch feelings but you did. When he gives you a cute stuffed animal and extra hugs and kisses. When he shares his donuts with you. Or brings you candy. When you stay up one night just talking. When you fall hard for his cuddles. When he happens to remember something about you and you didn’t think he remembered anything. When you realize he’s only taken you on one real date…and you only “hang out” now. When you notice he doesn’t really laugh at your jokes. When he doesn’t listen to what your saying. When he confuses you because he tears up while telling you it’s okay if you find someone better. When he casually stops talking to you. When you think he caught feelings...but he didn't. When you're left alone...feeling like a fool.

[mefinallyfree]

F I V E

So my current relationship status would be labeled as “single but seeing this one guy for regular ‘cuddles’”. And by 'cuddles’ I mean sex. I’m struggling to figure it out because I know all we are is 'Friends with Benefits’ minus the friends part. The thing I’m struggling with is the fact that I’m kinda okay with it.

I went into this thing thinking I might end up dating this guy…but we literally went on one date and every time after that it’s been more or less a hook up. At first I was offended and hurt but then I realized I was not really that offended by it. I know I should be…being the 'Woman Power!’ person I am but I wasn’t. I came to the conclusion that I was using him for sex like he was using me for sex. Mind blown.

Being the good little girl I’ve always been and everyone knows me to be…I was stunned by this revelation. I am in a 'with benefits’ type of relationship. And it’s okay? People do this in real life right? As consenting adults…we are choosing this. I am completely new to this way of thinking and it’s very freeing. I am in control of what I do and I will own up to it. And no one can tell me what I should or shouldn’t be doing.

The down side to all of this is that…when we are together, all cuddled up, rolling around in the sheets together…it’s really nice. And I get a little hint of the feels towards him. It’s hard not to. But even if nothing comes from it…whether it turns into a 'friends with benefits’ thing or more or it simply runs its course…I feel like this is a good learning experience.

[mefinallyfree]

F O U R

That awkward moment when you wanna be used but you don't want to be used.

[mefinallyfree]

T H R E E

I need to stop denying what I know is true.

[mefinallyfree]

T W O

It finally happened. I finally had sex. And it was fun! I was scared it would be super weird and awkward but it wasn’t. All my life I’ve sworn I was going to wait for marriage but over the last year I’ve started to think…I’m ready for this. And I was right. At 29 years old I feel like I’m finally free…finally me.

[mefinallyfree]

O N E

I need a place to be completely free. Completely able to be me. Away from everyone I know. I need a place I can be open with my thoughts and opinions. A place to freely share what's on my mind and what I'm feeling. I hope this is the place where I can be me...finally free.