ok so. i’m kind of very much obsessed with hunter having a penstagram so these r my stupid (crack/not serious) hc’s abt it
when hunter creates a penstagram account and immediately changes his username to “Hunter543221” and his profile pic is just like the default image that u have when you don’t. chose a pfp. so when he comes into willow’s dms like “hi” she’s 99% convinced that he is an actual murderer
it takes a lot of messages (that hunter types incredibly slowly btw) to make willow believe that Yes it’s actually me captain and No i’m not lying to you And yes i remember kidnapping you is that good enough proof No i’m not here to do it again
(hunter finds amity’s account somehow, and spends like a good 6 minutes scrolling through her entire profile and just disliking every post he sees n he thinks it’s the funniest thing)
willow tries to get him to message any of the other team, but when hunter goes to do so he ends up typing for like a full hour and never sending anything because he’s Stressed Ok he doesn’t know how to communicate on this scroll thing. so willow becomes his texting buddy
at first it’s like incredibly awkward… they have like the Forced “hello how are you” “i’m good. you?” “how’s the weather over there” “…not raining blood? hunter look out a window” conversations until they finally, finally get comfortable enough with each other to have proper conversations
willow tries to teach hunter texting lingo. like. LOL and LMFAO and IDK and btw and he doesn’t understand a single thing. he types out “hahahahah” because he doesn’t know how to reach the emojis on his keyboard and when willow sent him a keyboard smash for the first time he was genuinely distressed she like fell or something
WILLOW: a keyboard smash, hunter, it means i’m laughing. it means you’re funny
HUNTER: couldn’t you just say i’m funny?
WILLOW: you have much to learn
when hunter learns how to take pictures 90% of his messages to willow just turn into images of flapjack from different angles at a time or like. sneak pictures of belos when he isn’t looking
they both don’t sleep when they’re supposed to, and they both get the existential crisis thoughts when it’s very late and they should not be awake so like when hunter messages willow at crack ass at night if he’s a real person willow responds with hell if i know dude
willow sends hunter a meme(that she only rlly knows of bc of luz) for the first time and he’s like ?.?:??:?:
HUNTER: who is “that boy”
WILLOW: hunter it’s a meme. it’s an outdated one idk why i even sent you that
HUNTER: what’s a meme.. who is that boy. why are we calling him “that boy”? as if i’m supposed to know who he is?? is he notorious for being a boy?????????? is this a boy that everyone knows??? willow please will
willow starts posting out of context screenshots of her conversations with hunter on her penstagram account because of the absolute outlandish things this man says and 90% of the comments are lumity being like WHY are you still hanging around with him
WILLOW, messaging hunter after being spammed with notifications to not hang out with him: luz and amity say you’re a danger to my safety
WILLOW: what does That mean
HUNTER: i’m a danger to my own safety most of the time
WILLOW: i’m gonna tell them you’re Not..
hunter doesn’t ever post anything usually but when he does post things it’s just very blurry pictures of either himself or his surroundings and every time his caption is “i didn’t mean to post that” and it becomes such a continuous thing that nobody even knows if he’s being serious or not
hunter messages willow every morning at 6AM “good morning sunshine!!” and willow blocked him for like a full hour when he did that once and he, not knowing what being blocked was, was so distressed bc he thought he might’ve accidentally broken the scroll that he went to darius in tears
DARIUS, cradling a mug like it’s his last saving grace: Please stay Away from me
HUNTER: i BROKE THE SCROLL
DARIUS: you have had it for a few Days
willow, afterward gets a very long paragraph full of passive aggression from darius . she did not even know he had a penstagram account
luz is determined to befriend him so she constantly dms him and tries to start conversations with him. the most she gets is like a “hunter is typing” for a good 7 minutes but she never gets a response
their conversations (when hunter does respond) usually go like this:
hunter finds emoticons and starts using things like :) and ^^ and :0 and :P willow is very endeared to it until he starts posting blurry ominous pictures and captioning it with XD and nothing els e
WILLOW: hunter Please stop misusing emoticons
HUNTER: what do you mean XD
hunter deactivated his penstagram when people start spamming his comments to spill the secrets about belos. and then immediately makes a second one the next day but with “Hunter19207”
WILLOW: you aren’t doing a very good job of being discreet…
HUNTER: they started asking me questions about belos i’m not able to disclose
WILLOW: the robotic way you said that phrase will forever concern me
HUNTER: a lot of people have had to sign a lot of legal documents
darius messages hunter once on penstagram and it’s just a link to an article abt sewing tips and hunters so emotional about it that he does not respond to the text for 2 hours n just lays in bed and cries
he sends willow pictures of his sewing progression. willow is aggressively supportive and in turn sends him pictures of her working out which he is incredibly threatened and in awe of
HUNTER: how strong are you. like. physically
WILLOW: i could wring you up like a wet towel
HUNTER: do you want another picture of flapjack?
hunter and amity send each other messages once. they’re respectively: “hunter.” “Amity.” and nothing else
gus is the first to initiate contact with hunter, because hunter is kind of like terrified of him, but it just sort of turns into gus always messaging him to check in on willow ??? and hunter’s like ?? why don’t you just talk to her yourself?? completely not understanding that it’s just gus using it as an excuse to talk to him
GUS: how is willow. is she still alive
HUNTER: last time i heard from her she was
he ends up coming to willow, texting her about how gus keeps texting him to ask if she’s ok and he’s distressed that he ruined everything and she, having to explain the concept of friendship to him for the first time is like Boy just talk to him normally
the three of them end up creating a groupchat together and immediately gus is aggressively friendly. he starts calling hunter stuff like squishable and bitable and hunter, in response, calls gus by his full Government name and nothing else
GUS: HUNTER MY SCRIBBLEY SKRUNK
hunter ends up just coming to willow and gus whenever belos does some shit, and one time he asks them; is it normal to be threatened to be replaced by a family member if you don’t preform well 100% and willow and gus r like ?? FUCK NO???
gus and willow become his protection squad and gus posts a black screen picture with a very long caption detailing how he’s going to beat up belos and hunter in the comments goes DELETES THIS HE WILL SQUISH YOU LIKE AN ANT
HUNTER: do Not make me delete my account again i’m running out of different numbers
WILLOW; just don’t put ?? numbers in ur username then??
luz takes hunter befriending both gus and willow as an opportunity to talk to him in public for some reason so when she sees him sneaking around n being shady she’s like HEY HUNTER!!! and he fucking RUNS
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