worse.

WHY USE A SCALPEL WHEN AN AXE WILL DO?

[meglomanic]

ind oc. by dana (they/them). triggering content ahead.

tropes: more deadly than the male, men are the expendable gender, you have outlived your usefulness, lady macbeth (but only in act 1), ambiguous situation, consummate liar, unreliable narrator, maybe magic, maybe mundane, cosmic horror reveal, wild card

name clara perrot. age 37. gender cis woman. sexuality bisexual. prefers men, but struggles to respect them. status wannabe widow. still married, despite the circumstances. religion atheist with the particular flavour of god-complex only a brain surgeon can latch onto. location (gestures vaguely) occupation as above: brain surgeon. head of neuro at (insert fictionalised hospital here)

height 5'10. eyes green. hair brown, pulled back, kept out of the way. build lithe, with the type of calves you get from working a standing job.

fc dichen lachman

enneagram 5w4 mbti intj

notably:

adopted into a dual parent household, but her (adopted) mother died shortly after the process was finalised

raised, then, by a single father

attempted to murder her husband with an axe. no one's as fucked up about it as you'd expect.

~~~

DA RULEZ

i'm dana, 28, they/them

idk if i still have to say this in 2026 but mun ≠ muse

@rekant is my main blog; if you want a more comprehensive set of rules, you can check em out over there.

be regular, be cool. i'm busy, i'm slow, this will not change

that's really all

[bluedprints]

@meglomanic: not feeling like yourself is kind of what you do, isn't it? / molly

something is

the feeling is

the universe talks to itself, seeks balance. molly on the ground floor of the universe, it's a big, concrete parking garage. the more she thinks about it, the more post-it notes appear on the walls and on her skin, arms, forehead—pink, yellow, blues—she's trying to sort this out. vacuum isn't real, vacuum is a symptom. her thoughts domino-effect out into the vast blackness like dandruff.

waking up now.

the room is orange-lit and very warm. she's holding onto a glass that's practically dripping out of her hands. she feels submerged. looking at clara, she tries to make sense of this feeling.

"i think i dreamt you. you were explaining symptoms to me even then."

[meglomanic]

she doesn't mean to, it's just how her brain filters things through.

each time they meet, she looks into molly's eyes and searches for what she might've seen on the other side. in many ways, it's all over her face, in the way she carries herself (and the ways she doesn't). it isn't enough for clara to press her ear to the outside and listen for the echoes of an experience; she longs to peer inside.

she stands crookedly, hip cocked, holding a plastic plate with bits and pieces of uneaten appetisers.

"your symptoms evade even my understanding. must be frustrating."

[paramoregf]

sorry for liking when women got blood all over em but i'm a feminist

[meglomanic]

working too much. plot with me if u wanna write

[cinematv]

LUTHER (2010 - 2019)

[printedblues]

@meglomanic: do you wait until you think i'm asleep to come to bed? + i thought if i kept it to myself, our lives wouldn't change. / [redacted]

he is no longer afraid, but his heart picks up pace. he wonders how it's possible to relate without correlation—even when he's been without her, he has never felt it. she is blurred, but there, and he is glad to see her, even in the dark.

the newly washed bedding is wrinkled and tough. the sweat in his palms warms the fabric as he slides under. a twitch sits under his right eyelid: he doesn't like her to see him bury himself, wary of sharing too many ideas. the truth is that he only started keeping secrets when she did.

other than that, well.

open book.

the thought makes him smile. wondering, out loud, "if you'd've kept it to yourself—darling—i fear i'd be worse off."

[meglomanic]

she touches him, now, more than she used to. something about her opened when she sliced into him, forced them closer — it feels inevitable, in hindsight. what is the point of creating space, when there has been nothing but her own skin between the two of them?

she's always been the limiting factor.

clara reaches for him in the dark, catching his hand.

admist the shadows, she can almost pretend nothing happened. but she doesn't sleep with her back to him, anymore.

"maybe you're right. do you prefer it this way?"

[meglomanic]

a wee plotting call 🧘‍♀️

[meglomanic]

@bluedprints / will: you are excessively compassionate.

what is it they say about sarcasm?

"depends on your definition."

[meglomanic]

@bluedprints / molly: forgetting is much easier than people say.

she understands, but doesn't sympathise.

"forgetting is the default state of the brain. we remember far less than we forget."

[meglomanic]

@bluedprints / [redacted]: what happened to us was simple bad luck.

she wants to pretend none of this was left to chance. the truth, etched across his face, is that even she makes decisions on a whim, from time to time.

clara turns over the variables in her mind. perhaps, if only a single event hadn't occurred, he'd still be able to see clearly out of both eyes.

"aren't we lucky you never took to gambling."

[random-brushstrokes]

Emma Schlangenhausen (Austrian, 1882-1947)

[notmorbid]

a sunny place for shady people.

dialogue prompts from a sunny place for shady people: stories by mariana enriquez.

i get scared sometimes, too.

denial is a powerful drug.

just a little discretion: that's all i ask.

you're not the only ghost around.

it's [name]. call me [name], please.

it's easy to have ethics when what you love isn't in danger.

how are you different from the others?

things happened to me there that can't be exorcised.

it's time to go back to the places that hurt.

we need a miracle.

memories never come at predictable moments.

i love you, but i don't like you.

who put you in charge of my life?

put on some pants. it's cold.

i always hoped i wouldn't have to tell you.

they always pathologize us.

the sun always rises again. always.

don't worry. we'll figure something out.

no one's ever going to kiss me.

it's so hard to kill someone. who would have thought?

don't hate. everything comes back around.

positive thinking is perverse. same as goodwill.

i don't like to sleep in the dark.

you're morbid at heart.

how do you run from something that doesn't exist?

you know how to keep secrets.

i hope i die before i get old.

do you really want me to tell a therapist what we did?

you really know how to play dumb.

what happened to us was simple bad luck.

forgetting is much easier than people say.

what's the worst thing you've done in your life?

chickenshit asshole.

you've always been boring.

i expected this, but i'm still disappointed.

there's something sad about your smile.

you are excessively compassionate.

i wanted to be wrong.

you're too direct. you scare people off.

you're more mysterious than you seem.

there are some feelings that don't have words.

silences with you aren't uncomfortable.

[meglomanic]

save me evil woman. evil woman save me

[meglomanic]

CLARA.

repost & fill in the words you most associate with your character.

animal: snake

colour: red

month: august

song: foreign object

number: ???

day or night: night

plant: stinging nettle

smell: latex, cleaning chemicals, perfume

season: autumn

food: steak tartare

astrological sign: aries

element: fire

drink: cab sav

tagged by: @bluedprints tagging: you

[meglomanic]

only girlchild raised by single father (dead deified mother) who was a surgeon so now she is a surgeon. because there's nothing else

[medusaesque]

House of Leaves, Mark Z. Danielewski / Nausea, Jean-Paul Sartre / Disco Elysium

[dailyflicks]

AUDITION (1999) dir. Takashi Miike