Learn to say “can you love me a bit harder today? It’s a rough day” and then explain how you want to be loved harder.
Learn to say “I could use some support. Are you able to provide some? This is how you can support me -“
Learn to say “I feel lonely. Are you able to keep me company?”
Learn to say “I’m feeling overwhelmed. Can I talk to you about it?”
Do this instead of dropping hints or expecting someone to be able to read you. What may be obvious to you isn’t necessarily obvious to someone else. You’re often hurting your own feelings by not communicating your needs and just hoping people meet them anyways.
I know this is easier said than done. We often drop hints because we feel ashamed or bad about asking for help. But the truth is, for most of our loved ones, us hinting at things is exhausting. It can also set them up for failure because they don’t know your expectations. Sometimes they miss hints but sometimes they ignore them because it’s more draining when they aren’t asked directly. It’s very likely your loved one would appreciate you being direct.
People often want to support and help you, but a lot of them like to be told how they can do that.
I got an ask telling me that this post is encouraging people to sound like robots. And I just want to say, I’m giving examples of what I mean.
Please 100% customize the words to what you need. This is not at all how I word things to my partner when I need things, or my friends. These were just examples that were meant to be straightforward to explain the point.
