My @meihemsecretsanta submission!!
For @innapropriatepossibility
Mei never thought a day would come where she would have to spend longer then one stupid second with an asshat like Junkrat. However Junkrat secretly was the one who wanted this for the pastâŚforever probably. The agency didnât often go out as a group. Let alone such a small chunk. Mei was never even a fan of this band. Lucio gave Junkrat these tickets months in advance and Junkrat looked pathetic enough to score Mei as his plus one. He got lucky. Real lucky that he had that stupid puppy dog face. Now Mei was trapped in a group date she wanted nothing to do with.
The band was called Manson Family Cult. Apparently Junkrat and Roadhog listened to them and Lucio was able to score tickets but got too many on accident. So he invited Hana, Zarya, Mako, Junkrat, and Junkrat could pick anyone he wished as that final plus one. Mei was stuck and she hated it.
Mei remembered when he asked her out. Or rather, begged.
âOi, Snow Plum!â Junkrat chirped as she worked at her desk.
Immediately her heart sank and she fought the urge to turn and tell him to fuck off.
âWhat?â She asked, trying to sound patient.
âSo I got these tickets to a band I like and I need a plus one and Roadie will be there and Lucio and Zarya and Hana and-â
âHana will be there?â Mei asked a bit more hopefully.
She had been friends with Dva for a while and been meaning to hang out with her. Especially since she was cooped up working.
âYup. We donât have to call it a date but you wanna hang out? We can watch the mosh pits go on yeah?â He asked.
She shrugged and thought about it. Itâs not like she would have to hang out with Junkrat directly so who cares?
âAlright. But Iâm avoiding you the whole time.â She grinned.
âAh you love me!â Junkrat said nudging her.
âOh shush this is for Hana.â She nudged back.
âLoad of tripe!â He called as he left.
So here she was in the back of the hovercraft waiting to arrive in America. She was on her devices and completely in a world of her own. Mostly cause Dva was talking to Lucio and Mei was mentally kicking herself for not seeing that one coming a mile away.
âOi Mei, howâs my disguise?â Junkrat asked with a smirk.
She looked up at him and saw him wearing a beanie with Manson Family Cult scrawled across the front in sewn white thread across itâs black color. He wore a band shirt and jeans with a flannel tied around his waist.
âWell it doesnât look quite like you. Maybe more like a skater boy version. Yet itâs actually a good look somehow.â She shrugged as she gave him the side ways glance.
âI tried asking Roadie but he just shrugged and mumbled âVery grunge I guessâ so there was that. Then Zarya and him went back to chatting it up about how much they can bench press,â He admitted.
Mei chuckled. âAnd does Roadie have a disguise?â
âNah. Just took off the mask. Itâs not like thatâs an all that bad disguise though,â Junkrat admitted.
Mei put down the online book she was reading and looked up, sure enough Roadhog was completely exposed in the face. He looked like your standard middle aged guy. He almost had a friendly approachable look about him it seemed.
âHuhâŚâ Mei mumbled.
Then the junker placed his butt on the bed she was lounging on and sat beside her.
âSo whatâre ya readin?â He asked grinning.
âJust information about our next mission,â she mumbled.
âMission? Take a break sheila. You earned it after how much work you put into all this!â He said nudging her leg.
She sat up and sighed. âYeahâŚyet I canât. I just kinda get addicted to this sorta thing?â
Junkrat pouted and rubbed his neck.
âHabits often need distracted by other habits.â He told her.
Suddenly something cold and wet touched her hand and she saw Jamison was offering her a beer. She smiled at it and sighed.
âYouâre rightâŚthanksâŚâ
Mei pecked his cheek but only briefly before chugging it down in one swig. Junkratâs eyes bulged and he nearly fell.
âHm?â She asked as she crushed the can.
âYou finished the whole can of beer in one gulp?!â He asked jaw agape.
âS'a learned skill,â Mei admitted shrugging.
Suddenly Lucio was sitting on the bed and his muscular body suddenly slamming itself on the bed nearly rocketed her three feet in the air.
âTeach me how to do that at the concert!â Lucio begged.
Mei laughed. Junkrat frowned. This showing would be long. Soon after by mere seconds the hover craft landed. Showtime.
Junkrat jumped onto Roadhogs back and the two charged in like two tail gating nerds watching a super bowl. Then Zarya who was quietest in all this and then Dva and Lucio with Mei in tow. Lucio was rambling about his taste in music.
âBelieve it or donât but this is actually a cover band.â He said. âItâs covers of other bands from the late nineties I think. Like Corn and Narilyn Nanson and stuff? The originals were better, but those guys are all dead now, so this is close as it gets to the old experience,â
They found their seats and got even more alcohol and a few snacks. The band didnât take too long to come out and a full raging audience roared almost loud as the instruments. The crowd almost looked like Junkers with their tattoos and leather and make up. Mei couldâve sworn seeing a girl with a nose piercing and a chain coming from it linking to her boyfriends ear ring. One miss step and she would loose her head. I think thatâs part of the thrill! Junkrat later told her. Or yknow, one of them cheated and they wanna be watchful of the other person and chaining them up seemed the only proper way to ensure it wouldnât happen again.
Eventually a mosh pit broke out. Junkrat disappeared with Zarya and Roadhog to team up in the fight and left Lucio, Dva, and Mei. Mei was starting to like the music even if it enveloped her in crazy people. But since it was a mosh pit the less crazier people stayed by the side avoiding it.
âTheyâre just fighting?? For no reason??â Mei asked loud enough for Lucio to pick up on.
âPretty much! Itâs a stress reliever like the music!â He explained.
âIsnât that barbaric??â She called back.
âThatâs the fun in it! Legally you canât bring weapons which is why Iâm avoiding it!â Hana Song admitted.
âIâm just staying back to protect you guys!â Lucio called in response.
Hana awed and kissed him while Mei rolled her eyes and watched the band. Suddenly a guy who was clearly high came out of nowhere and touched her ass out of nowhere. So she turned and knocked his teeth out. Not that she meant to! He scared her and she acted! She tried helping him up and explaining that but he scurried off like a pitiful bug and Mei felt a bit bad for him. She just sat there and tried to relax. Mei continued to drink up.
When Junkrat came back he was up to his forehead in a few scrapes and bruises.
âOi Mei! You okay?!â He asked.
Mei bit her lip. âThus far. Whereâs Mako and Zarya??â
âTogether. In the bathroom I think, fight got em riled. Yknow how it is!â Junkrat explained.
Then they both burst out laughing. Mei laughed back but not as hard, her mind lost in booze till she realised how many beers she had.
âI-I think I drank too muchâŚâ she whispered to Junkrat.
âEveryone gets drunk at these concerts. Just look at the bass player up there!â He pointed. Sure enough the man in a mask with faux needles pointing out was urinating on the stage like it wasnât a big deal. Mei looked disgusted but unsurprised.
âI need to get back to the carrier.â She whispered to him. âTake a breather yknow?â She explained. Junkrat nodded and took her hand as they walked off together. Letting Lucio know before vanishing off.
Mei sat down in the first chair she saw and Junkrat fetched her a water bottle. She drank and took some breaths. She wasnât drunk but she didnât like to get so much as tipsy. Mainly cause she was so mature and well behaved and proper Sheila like as Junkrat put it.
âIâm sorry if you feel dragged out here.â He confessed as she drank and he sat in a chair by her side.
âNever. At first maybe but Iâm making better peace with that now. I like it here, promise!â She chirped between sips. âI just hate hangovers is all,â she admitted.
âI donât blame you, those suck major dongo.â He assured. âWell donât worry. Iâm like a boomerang. Canât keep me from ya. Iâll keep you roight company though!â Junkrat saluted. âIâll never shove off from ya Sheila! Swear it on my grave!â
Mei laughed and finished the water. âIâm still tipsy enough to call you cute yknow. You are. Youâre freaking cute Junkrat,â she chuckled.
âSober, high, or drunk to me your beyond cute. Your bangin as hell, Sheila.â He cooed.
âExplains the guy who grabbed my ass earlier.â
âA who whom did fucking what?!â Junkrat shot up like a missile.
âI knocked his teeth out. On accident. Tried to help him up and apologize but-â
âCredit where itâs due if a woman grabbed me by the Steve Irwin unprompted Iâd break her in half for it.â He added.
âYouâd be arrested for it.â Mei scolded.
âShouldnât be but yeah. Men can be hit and assaulted an itâs cute. Women canât be cause itâs evil. No one should be able to be hit or groped but it jus happens. Shame it does but it does.â He retorted.
There was silence. Then he grinned and chuckled. âYknow you can grab me by the corcodile hunter any time. I wonât whine one bit.â
âUnless I squeezed it till itâs purple.â Mei snorted. Junkrat winced. âWeâve been hanging out too long. Iâm starting to talk like you.â She shook her head and smiled.
âKeep doing it,â he said standing up and offering his hand. âI look good on you,â
âQuit being cute,â Mei pouted as she took his hand and stood up, accidentally standing too close and brushing noses with Junkrat in the process.
âDo you feel better?â He whispered, touching foreheads with a red and blushing Mei.
âMore so then usual actually. Iâd prefer to stay here with you though,â she admitted blushing profusely.
âIâll lock the door then,â Junkrat whispered.