“Would you do it then? Put yourself through it, to stop feeling?” it was a rhetorical question only, meant to corner her. He’d made a choice two years ago. They had promised immunity to those that’d serve in the name of science, turning people in favor of being left alive. Many had accepted the offer. Those that didn’t had become the first victims of the plasma. He’d run. Taken his sister and tried to stay under the radar. At least, they had tried. At least he hadn’t given into what they wanted. Hadn’t sold his soul for a dime and an empty promise.
Dark eyes narrowed slightly as she tried to reason with him in her own way. They had always had their own type of banter going on, teasing even when they were at work. But even he could notice the reservedness with which she had approached him at first. Not surprisingly given the situation. But a change to the way she had once been. Luca couldn’t say the past years hadn’t changed him either. Every day he noticed more, things from habits to his personality. He’d never been someone to easily lose his temper. Always approached life with a cracked joke, a sly grin, and an inappropriate comment. None of that was really left.
His fingers released her wrist abruptly, a step taken back as he realized what he had done. Maybe he was far less human than he had thought. Blinking away his own shock, Luca silently followed her. The Synthetics wouldn’t question him following a scientist. Many sought them for a …refreshment. Due to the lack of circulation, it could offer some sort of kick to be replenished with the green shit. “You can and you will. I don’t care why you think you can’t and I’ll know if you’re bullshitting me. So don’t even attempt to. You’ve had two years to come up with your reasoning and the answers to the questions I’d obviously have. Unless you hoped I’d get myself killed first, of course.” As they entered the building, the main hall was almost deadly silent. People probably didn’t leave their places all too often, he assumed. Gave them some false sense of safety in a world where nothing was sacred or safe anymore. The ones they did encounter on upper levels, side-eyed Mei with a disgust and betrayal he almost understood. His hatred for Synthetics was as great as theirs. And that was what he portrayed in their eyes. No one knew what he was or wasn’t.
Mei pursed her lips. She didn’t want to say admit to considering a transfer, but she owed him honesty. She nodded sharply, and silently at first. After a moment she said, “I’ve thought about it.” She’d thought about other things, too. Other ways to end her daily torture. None of them seemed worth it.
She thought of the first day. When they’d offered her this job. It had been clouded in mystery - like everything had been that year. The entire world had changed, and everyone was struggling. Mei’s entire family was in the tourism industry, which wasn’t exactly thriving with the looming threat of world war three. They needed her, she knew that. She knew nothing of them but that. If she could find a way to make some money, she could help them. Maybe even get back to them one day.
But there was no money in this job. There was no honour in it, no reward at all except her life. That first day, they’d turned on a screen. A screen she’d been able to look at every day before and after her transfers. Live footage of her mother and her father. Sure, it was difficult to see them on account of the targets placed over their faces, but it was enough to be reassured they were alive for another day.
One day, instead of their faces, there was his. He was unconscious, strapped to a table. She recognized the exam room as hers. She’d lost her voice from screaming before she made it in the room.
He kept ranting as he followed her. She accepted it. It had been two years, and who else could he rant to about this? He had things to get off his chest, and it was the least she could do to allow that. But then he spoke the words that stopped her in her tracks. For a moment, he kept going, but she was frozen, as though she’d been punched in the gut, or a dagger had been stuck into her spine.
Her dark eyes were wide as she stared up at him in horror. The words echoed in her mind.
Unless you hoped I’d get myself killed first.
“Unless... I hoped...” she repeated softly, shaking her head, not knowing whether the tears welling up in her eyes were from anger, or heartbreak, or guilt, or all of the above. “I’ve had seven hundred nights filled with nightmares of you screaming, I’ve given up my family, my job, my home, my life, I’ve lost all trace of who I used to be, and all of that is because losing you, hurting you, was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.” Finally, only then, she looked back up at him. “I know you’re angry, Luca, but I did not risk my entire world because I wanted you dead.”
Angrily, she started walking again, throwing open the door to her building without waiting for him to follow. The elevator had been broken for months, so she threw open the door to the stairwell too. She turned around to him, taller than him for a moment thanks to the staircase, and tried to catch her breath. She couldn’t go up to Nick and the others like this. “I know it makes it worse to know you were my best friend when I did your transfer, but you need to remember it anyway. Nothing makes sense if you don’t.”
