The future happens. No matter how much we scream.

“Guilt is a good friend, isn't it? It will stand at your back when every other friend has abandoned you, and in the face of all reason it will stay by your side, and even when you tell it, "I am moving on now," it will say, "I shall never leave you; never." If only I could find a lover as faithful as guilt.” ― Holly Lisle, Talyn [Independent Roleplay blog for a SNK OC Multiverse|Multifandom|OC friendly]           

[of-many-words]

           ʼʼ   If  God  really does exist      it makes Him only more  d i s g u s t i n g                                                       in my eyes    ʼʼ

[melancholymedic]

visxs liked for a starter

"Doesn't going out and fighting those abominations worry you at all? I always figured that you'd know more about the dangers than most." The medic had never been one for conversation, unless the conversation had a special meaning or cold sate her curiosity. This was definitely the latter, she'd heard of Caroline's girl, the girl who had the same name as her older sister and that she was in the Survey Corps. All she wanted to know was why.

[quotethat]

The worst type of crying wasn’t the kind everyone could see—the wailing on street corners, the tearing at clothes. No, the worst kind happened when your soul wept and no matter what you did, there was no way to comfort it. A section withered and became a scar on the part of your soul that survived.

Katie McGarry, Pushing the Limits (via quotethat)

[melancholymedic]

Like for a starter?

[crimsondeath]

'captain america: the winter soldier' starter prompts

❝ On your left. ❞ ❝ Don’t say it. Don’t you say it. ❞ ❝ Need a medic? ❞ ❝ You should be ashamed of yourself. ❞ ❝ It’s your bed, right? ❞ ❝ You must miss the good old days, huh? ❞ ❝ I’ll put it on the list. ❞ ❝ I’m sure they have a good reason. ❞ ❝ Relax, it’s not that complicated. ❞ ❝ You doing anything fun Saturday night? ❞ ❝ You know, if you ask Kristen out, from Statistics, she’d probably say yes. ❞ ❝ Too shy, or too scared? ❞ ❝ You seemed pretty helpless without me. ❞ ❝ You want to be a hero? Is that it? ❞ ❝ Well, this is awkward. ❞ ❝ I think that’s overstating things. ❞ ❝ You just can’t stop yourself from lying, can you? ❞ ❝ I’m not obliged to do anything. ❞ ❝ It’s called compartmentalisation. ❞ ❝ Nobody spills the secrets, because nobody knows them all. ❞ ❝ I do share. I’m nice like that. ❞ ❝ I thought the punishment usually came after the crime. ❞ ❝ We can’t afford to wait that long. ❞ ❝ This isn’t freedom, this is fear. ❞ ❝ For as long as I can remember, I just wanted to do what was right. ❞ ❝ You’re always so dramatic. ❞ ❝ The world has changed, and none of us can go back. ❞ ❝ Sometimes the best that we can do is to start over. ❞ ❝ I’m here to ask a favor. ❞ ❝ You lose someone? ❞ ❝ What makes you happy? ❞ ❝ If you want, you’re welcome to use my machine. Might be cheaper than the one in the basement. ❞ ❝ Well, I’ll keep my distance. ❞ ❝ I don’t remember giving you a key. ❞ ❝ My wife kicked me out. ❞ ❝ I didn’t know you were married. ❞ ❝ There’s a lot of things you don’t know about me. ❞ ❝ You’re a terrible liar. ❞ ❝ He told me not to trust anyone. ❞ ❝ Anyone gets in my way, they’re gonna regret it. ❞ ❝ It kind of feels personal. ❞ ❝ I only act like I know everything. ❞ ❝ I’m not gonna ask you again. ❞ ❝ Bye-bye, bikinis. ❞ ❝ First rule of going on the run is don’t run, walk. ❞ ❝ My fiancé was just helping me with some honeymoon destinations. ❞ ❝ I have the exact same glasses. ❞ ❝ Shut up and put your arm around me. Laugh at something I said. ❞ ❝ Kiss me. ❞ ❝ Public displays of affection make people very uncomfortable. ❞ ❝ I just wondered how much practice you’ve had. ❞ ❝ Nobody special, though? ❞ ❝ Believe it or not, it’s kind of hard to find someone with shared life experience. ❞ ❝ You just make something up. ❞ ❝ The truth is a matter of circumstance. ❞ ❝ That’s a tough way to live. ❞ ❝ You know, it’s kind of hard to trust someone, when you don’t know who that someone really is. ❞ ❝ Who do you want me to be? ❞ ❝ Who’s the girl? ❞ ❝ You need anything before I leave? ❞ ❝ Want some milk? ❞ ❝ I thought I knew whose lies I was telling, but I guess I can’t tell the difference anymore. ❞ ❝ There’s a chance you might be in the wrong business. ❞ ❝ If it was down to me to save your life, would you trust me to do it? ❞ ❝ I hear the crab cakes here are delicious. ❞ ❝ That is a terrible, terrible idea. ❞ ❝ I wasn’t sure who to trust. ❞ ❝ Your work has been a gift to mankind. ❞ ❝ You shaped the century. ❞ ❝ Society’s at a tipping point between order and chaos. ❞ ❝ If you don’t do your part, I can’t do mine. ❞ ❝ See, it’s stuff like this that gives me trust issues. ❞ ❝ I just kind of wanted to be alone. ❞ ❝ We can put the couch cushions on the floor like when we were kids. ❞ ❝ I’m with you to the end of the line, pal. ❞ ❝ I don’t know if I can do that. ❞ ❝ I think it’s time you know the truth. ❞ ❝ The price of freedom is high. ❞ ❝ Did you write that down first, or was it off the top of your head? ❞ ❝ You smug son of a bitch. ❞ ❝ I’m sorry, did I step on your moment? ❞ ❝ Are you sure you’re ready for the world to see you as you really are? ❞ ❝ Did you get my flowers? ❞ ❝ You’re the best and the most ruthless person I ever met. ❞ ❝ You know, you’re a lot heavier than you look. ❞ ❝ I had a big breakfast. ❞ ❝ Please don’t make me do this. ❞ ❝ Unless you want a two-inch hole in your sternum, I’d put that gun down. ❞ ❝ This is gonna hurt. ❞ ❝ Man, shut the hell up. ❞ ❝ You know, there was a time I would’ve taken a bullet for you. ❞ ❝ You’re out of your depth, kid. ❞ ❝ I’m not gonna fight you. ❞ ❝ You’re my friend. ❞ ❝ You’re not going to put me in a prison. ❞ ❝ You’ll know where to find me. ❞ ❝ I’m headed to Europe tonight, Wanted to ask if you’d come. ❞ ❝ You might not want to pull on that thread. ❞ ❝ This is the age of miracles. ❞ ❝ There’s nothing more horrifying than a miracle. ❞

[melancholymedic]

"I have to admire the optimists, it's like they don't realize that they're the ones who will probably die first."

[forgottenfeeelings]

What doesn’t destroy you Leaves you broken instead

Bring Me The Horizon (via forgottenfeeelings)

[melancholymedic]

Tamar had been minding her own business at the time, the clinic had been quiet and for that she had been thankful. A few of her co-workers had been chatting amongst themselves, but she’d been content to sit down and enjoying the peace. It was a nice change from the sight of blood and the chaos of an unsuccessful mission.

Until there was a loud banging at the door, startled the dark haired medic opened it quickly, prepared to calmly ask what was needed until her eyes caught sight of…well the figure who was being carried in.

Her eyes widened and she had to make a conscious effort not to cover her mouth at the sight of the injuries, was it unprofessional? Yes. Did that stop her  reaction? No. Tamar was no stranger to blood, gore and general nastiness, she’d seen her brother get eaten alive by a Titan, cradled the arm that was left and-

She snapped herself out of those thoughts, instead focusing on the patient and the people carrying them in. Her demeanour changed immediately as she scanned the injuries, a million different thoughts ran through her head, how she’d treat the injuries-how much assistance she’d need.

“What are you waiting for?” Her voice was barely a whisper before she managed to compose herself, her words were much more assertive when she spoke again. ”Get-get them inside right now!”

[benriya-san]

The Benedetto siblings: Alex and Emilio

[melancholymedic]

Half my friends are dead. I will make you new ones, said earth No, give me them back, as they were, instead, with faults and all, I cried.

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[melancholymedic]

Rises from the dead 1245793 days late

[asoftergangsta-blog]

You're too pretty to stab me in the face with that knife.

[stoic-corporal-deactivated20141]

For: melancholymedic

    -He dragged himself into the infirmary on their return from the expedition. The Corporal walked briskly to the front counter, the usual escort sent with him by the commander surprisingly absent. It seemed the stubborn man had come all on his own. A surprising fact to all parties-Levi included. 

     -The corporal walked with a slight limp, his leg the sole reason for his impromptu, and entirely self satisfying visit-no thanks to the female titan, and that young, scarf toting demon in 3DM gear. 

     - “Is there someone available?" he inquired in a dull, uninterested tone, expression ever the same, shoulders tense slightly. 

[melancholymedic]

“Ah, of course, something you need?” Tamar asked, turning around from her paperwork with a somewhat bored look on her face before she promptly did a double take and realized who it was that she was talking to.

Was this man okay? He looked surprisingly okay, minus the limp, far too cool and composed to be really injured. Or perhaps he was just made of stronger stuff than most people. She wasn't sure. Briefly, the medic couldn’t help but wonder what had happened to him.

“A-are you alright, sir?” Stupid question really, if he was alright he wouldn’t be here seeking medical assistance would he?

[for-what-is-lost-blog]

Shock registered in Mithien’s systems. Verdant eyes widened as she stared at Tamar, quietly absorbing her words. With each confession, the girl’s face seemed to grow a little paler. She opened her mouth as if to speak then paused for a moment. Gloomy and useless? Words Mithien often used to describe herself.

“I’m sorry Tamar…I shouldn’t have…” Her voice withered into silence, a flower crushed by frost.

The blonde paused, pulling in a slow breath. You are selfish. But so am I. “I only said that because I…well, I thought I saw something of you that…reminded me of myself.” She lifted one shoulder in a sheepish shrug.

“I don’t really think I can fault you for wanting to live. Even if most of the time I feel I don’t want to be saved. Don’t deserve to be saved, I mean.” Her solemn gaze shifted to the ground beneath her boots. “I’m selfish too. I want to be happy so I endanger others by not pushing them away. Or I hurt them by not cutting ties soon enough.”

At her sides, her hands curled into loose fists. “All I want is to protect others. You say your value your life over nearly anyone else’s? I don’t know your reasons, but if you want to know the truth, I don’t fully understand. But that’s just because the only purpose I have in staying alive is to do something to help someone else. I have to make his sacrifice worthwhile. And once I do…well, I don’t really care what happens to me.” Mithien found herself blurting the confession, the words quick and bitter. She blinked, feeling warm tears threaten her eyes. Tamar’s own blunt speech must have prompted this in her. It was the only explanation she could think of.

[melancholymedic]

I thought I saw something of you that…reminded me of myself.

The medic turned her attention to the blonde, ever so slightly shocked. It was strange, wasn’t it? How to almost strangers could have some something in common when it came to their stories, the things that made them what they were today. Or perhaps it wasn’t strange at all, but a consequence of living in the world that they lived in. Being born in the wrong place at the wrong time.

“I…don’t think too much about it, Mithien,” Tamar muttered, she was never too keen to discuss her terrible personality or her reasons behind doing things. Because people would realize just how damn selfish she was, and she couldn’t do with that.

“I don’t think I could fault anyone with wanting to live, that’s what humanity does-attempt to survive. And we seem to do a pretty good job of doing it at any cost whatsoever,” she shrugged. “You’re a brave girl for admitting that you’re selfish so outright…” brave or foolish, Tamar wasn’t sure which would be more accurate. Or which would have been better to say-fools seemed to live longer for some reason after all. I have to make his sacrifice worthwhile. So they did completely opposite things for the same reasons? It would have been touching if it wasn’t so sad. No matter what Mithien said, she was selfish in a damn good way.

“But…if you die protecting someone then the cycle goes on, don’t you want to just treasure the life he wanted to make sure you’d have? Why don't you care? It was obvious someone did once, after all.” It was a question asked out of genuine curiosity but she stopped herself from continuing the moment she noticed the girl’s eyes. Maybe she’d gone too far or maybe the girl was just…emotional. She wasn’t entirely sure. “I’m so sorry that you feel that way.”

[laceraalas]

▐│∶☽∶; —                   Hє нα∂η’т єχρєcтє∂ нєя тσ ѕιт ρєяƒєcтℓу ѕтιℓℓ. Between a tingling singe and her own instincts, it was only natural that she’d make a move. And his eyes drift to her raised palm, watching with an unbroken calm as it appeared to stop itself, think twice and lower again. The worst would be over soon. They shouldn’t have any more problems between them.

A sigh slips forth, fingers careful adjust themselves around the cotton ball. Faint memories, recollections, of past times he’d sat in this position. Quiet and stern with a squirming form, impatient and eager to escape treatment. For a moment, he can’t see past her dark hair. The familiar restlessness in her features. And he draws his attention elsewhere, staring instead at the window across.

Seconds pass. He pulls the swab away and gives it a light toss to the nearest trashcan. A successful basket, thankfully so. His eyes return to the wound, cloth now raised to wipe the blood from her mouth and chin. These injuries always looked worse than they were. Hers was little exception.

[melancholymedic]

Briefly there’s an urge to ask the man giving her medical treatment if there’s anything wrong. Or if there was something rather interesting outside of the window-she’d be eager to know if there was. Everything was usually so damn monotonous after all. Well everything but that god awful stinging sensation. Tamar let out a sigh of relief the moment he was done. Being treated had to be the worst thing she’d ever recently experienced.

She frowned for a moment, ignoring the uncomfortable sensation on her skin. She probably looked awful and for a moment she considered asking just how bad it was-sure, she could look in a mirror afterwards but she often found that she thought that she looked better than she actually did in situations like that. She was sure most people did the same thing.

“Thank you, Gunter. I promise you that I won’t do it again.” She mumbled, although it was more to assure herself than it was to assure him. It was easier to pretend that she was disappointing someone with her actions, it would make her think twice after all.

[titanbutcherkasa-deactivated201]

"I don’t…I don’t know what I want."

Everything had been a blur since he told her that, taking several days to decide what she really wanted. It was only obvious that she would come to Tamar for advice, she would know what to do, she would keep quiet about this kind of thing. At least, she hoped.

For just a while, Mikasa felt her mask slip into one of conflicting thoughts and confusion. She looked entirely muddled, hopelessly lost. She felt almost entitled to get rid of it, too scared to leave an anchor. But, Mikasa felt resentment most of all, for allowing herself to get into this situation and discovering what kind of man he was.

"I don’t know what to do, a-and I need advice." She licked her lips, and stared at her hands. "What should I do?" Just for once, Mikasa wanted someone to tell her what to do, to take her hand and tell her what direction would be better and that everything would go back to normal.

[melancholymedic]

Of all people to ask for advice, Mikasa Ackerman had to ask her. What was she supposed to say? One half of her just said keep it, because she may never have a chance again while the other half of her wanted to say that if Mikasa really wanted to stay with this-this oaf, then she’d have to get rid of it.

If she felt bad she couldn’t imagine how Mikasa was feeling, actually, she was sure that she had a pretty good idea. Mikasa could only be desperate and confused and scared.

“My advice would be to do whatever you want to do, keeping in mind that the job you do is dangerous and the outcome may be tragic no matter what your choice is. I wish I could help you more, Ackerman, really I do…” and she sighed, because she felt like she was absolutely useless in the whole entire situation. She was probably repeating things that the young woman had already thought about. And it was frustrating-knowing that she was absolutely useless.

[titanbutcherkasa-deactivated201]

"I would believe so, as a form of self protection. Seeing a lot of close friends die is hard, and people need ways to cope. I’ve been lucky so far."

[melancholymedic]

"I just don't understand why people do it if they don't know the person...it hurts but people die all the time, it's the nature of the world we live in," she shrugged. "I'm glad to know that you consider yourself lucky...not many people do these days."