アンバー

[melawhoanin]

i carrot bout u a lot!

[1995june]

[melawhoanin]

lets not become an addict

(1) said smtg that made me feel (cognitive distortions) really sad, friendless, and uncared for; i cried 6 tears during stats

yb stressed me out, i yelled at (2), i went outside and i talked to (3) and cried a lot more and they didn’t say anything and i felt embarrassed and ashamed

i used my pax a lot and was barely able to rehearse through my speaking thing for interact and i did it while takai

today i still was still slumped and just hungover and id id symbiosis, and i could feel the takasa still when i was doing the workshop and stuff

i told erick, selena, (3), (2). or like i can’t remember.

i feel lonely esp when (3) is busy, and i have so much hate/judgement for myself. it’s just really ironic when ur talking abt mental health and being empowered to change the world when ur just .... i don’t like hypocrites and i feel like sal lmao

i ran 3 miles while schlumped and i couldn’t really feel the pain of running that much, i also did 30 min of yoga. will start posting physical + emotional maintenance i do for myself to keep myself accountable.

[raichuus]

ig: uun.a

[melawhoanin]

i am not worthless

today i got really upset at someone over something they said and yes i made it a stretch so that i could get angry at them but i kinda worked myself into a tizzy and yikes it really isn’t my fault but it feels like it

i don’t want to be close with people who don’t give a shit about me. i deserve love in the form of a phone call just to see how i’m doing (rough quote from sza’s ctrl) (and ig i mean this metaphorically because no one really calls but we msg). i’ll do anything for certain people and i realize like wow i am literally their bitch. like, this is so unhealthy. i’m not someone you can use for playing a game of charades with yourself. i’m not going to dole out 2nd servings of care for you to have this kind of treatment returned. 

[melawhoanin]

i’m sorry and i wish we could’ve been something great and idrk where we are now

[realjackoconnell]

let’s play a game called do i really have a crush on this person or am i just so starved for attention and affection that i’ll invent infatuations

[melawhoanin]

i’m not a bad person i’m not a bad person i’m not a bad person

[melawhoanin]

i had a dream that i binged on 3 cups of boba last night

[melawhoanin]

i really want to cut myself i feel a lot of antagonism and hate @ myself

boyfriend is angry at me 

awkwardness w him n lack of communication

i just feel like nothing

officer resignation and just bad communication there

just not happy

not secure in friendships

im just not happy im really sad actually

update @ 2/10: it’s funny cuz i didnt ever really like him ig. or he’s outta my life and i’m fine

[melawhoanin]

i want to see the glass half full

[melawhoanin]

[melawhoanin]

[fierysuggestion]

be your own sun and be your own moon

[mbrl]

[babyanimalgifs]

this is literally the best thing ever

[melawhoanin]

i’m proud of myself because i set alarms for my supps so i don’t forget to take them