Holder Of Brett(s)Hand

Himbo Enthusiast // just a blog where I talk about multi fandom nonsense - mostly Brett // I write sometimes // they/them • blk • 21 //

[melenatedandjaded]

Hey you, yes you Brett simp- send in a request and I’ll do my best to make ur dreams come true <3

other fandoms I write for: The Arcana, Community, Stardew Valley 

What I’ll write: Slight Angst, Fluff, headcannons, imagines / one shots etc

What I won’t write: Heavy angst (e.g assault etc), NSFT — just anything that I’m not comfortable with.

[melenatedandjaded]

Hello 👋,

I hope this message finds you well. My name is Aziz, and I’m reaching out with a heartfelt plea to help my family find safety and reunite with our mother. 😞

The ongoing war in Gaza has torn my family apart. My mother and newborn sister are stranded in Egypt, while I, along with the rest of my sex family members, am trapped in the midst of the genocide in Gaza. We have not only been separated but have also lost our home and are enduring unimaginable hardships. 💔

Your support can make a difference. Whether by reading our story, donating, or sharing our campaign with others, you can help us reunite, find safety, and start anew. 🙏🕊

Thank you, from the depths of my heart, for your kindness, compassion, and solidarity during this difficult time. ❤🍉

https://gofund.me/58268669 🔗

please do what you can !!

[swimmingcreatortyrant]

The major arcana deck is finished! Link for free access here

[melenatedandjaded]

me: “i miss inside job tumblr i wonder how it’s doing”

* finds out the show got cancelled * fuck you netflix

me:

[taibobo]

inside job master chef AU with rand JR and tamiko as judges . rand is a sort of casual crass judge, speaks very bluntly but is the one contestants want to impress the most. JR is your average rich restaurant goer so he wants intelligent and expertly crafted dishes with intense flavor profiles. tamiko is about that picturesque WOW factor and wants new and exciting flavor combinations and plating techniques

reagan: highly technical with a love for complicated gourmet michelin dishes. wants rands approval and is extremely mad about it. highly independent worker, and though i think she’d likely make it to the semifinals or finals she would likely face elimination in a team challenge or the restaurant takeover unless she was captain

gigi: great with visuals and infusing her atlanta background to create highly modern and beautiful looking dishes. likely works with a lot of trendy ingredients and dishes, so something like a mystery box challenge would pose a hard challenge for her as she has a very small range of dishes she’s comfortable with creating

andre: the wild card. makes strange, culturally diverse foods with highly conceptual and abstract ideas and flavor profiles. judges are constantly stumped by his abilities despite his usually quite casual demeanor in the master chef kitchen. crumbles under extreme pressure in the restaurant takeover at first, but as soon as he’s able to take a “bathroom break” he’s an instant star. definitely a possible finalist

brett: highly skilled cook, though not the best among the cast, but what he lacks in technique he makes up for in gusto and his understanding of what other people enjoy. his ability to tackle challenges is very headstrong because he wants to impress more than he wants to win. his palate is very sophisticated (from his parents) and his understanding of gourmet cuisine is very advanced (from his house staff), but i think if anyone yelled at him he would break like a fucking soggy cracker

myc: he’s in a human glamour on tv obviously, but i think it’d still be funny if he was an alien. the judges know this but the rest of the cast and the audience do not. because of this his concept of food combinations is quite literally beyond human understanding. tries to avoid using mushrooms and similar ingredients, but his palate and choices are insane, near on the level of andre. he’s fantastic at working with colors in plating, but i think some of his combinations and flavors may be a little too camp and clash. he’s kind of an asshole and would likely do badly in a team challenge unless he was with someone who could easily let his insults roll off like glenn (who’s used to them) or andre (who isn’t paying attention)

glenn: also fully human in this— hearty chef, great at cooking comfort food in large portions and has a lot of gumption with working with heavy machinery and butchery. a bit of a sore loser, but he has a great taste for protein especially and could out grill, out sear, and out marinate pretty much any other competitor. not as intelligent with plating but his knowledge of flavor profiles is very rational and he could definitely cook something he’s never eaten with little issue, especially a meat.

robotus: surprise competitor. technically near-perfect and conceptually has a deep understanding of several cultures and types of cooking. is even better at baking and could destroy a bakery challenge. however his food tends to lack ‘soul’ and creativity at first until he’s able to learn from the other competitors around him. i think he’d make a great finalist or semi finalist

[melenatedandjaded]

a summer day w/ Brett Hand would include…

(brett x reader)

> you catching him scanning the freezer with a puzzled look. If it wasn’t already boiling you’d have assumed his confusion was making him sweat.

> “Looking for the Ice cream?” you call out knowingly, “I think I finished the last of it last night- not totally my fault though. I can get you some more but close the door before the ice melts, yeah?”

> he grins at your joking tone yet his smile doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “I’ll drive.” He says.

> the pair of you practically hugging the refrigerators in the shop. begrudgingly letting go, you pick up the basket you had been carrying.

> “Pick whichever flavour you like- I’ll pay. I’ll meet you in the line after I grab something real quick okay?”

> with the seemingly endless amount of options before him, he squeaks out a noise of compliance as you wander off. You had left him to choose.

> “chocolate,,, strawberry,,, vanilla,,, cookies and cream- even low fat??” he breathes to himself “how do I choose if I don’t even know what I like?!”

> “This is too much pressure.”

> by the time you come back it’s already too late. you turn the corner to find the 6ft man curled into the fatal position on the cool floor.

> ignoring the other shoppers you sit with him rubbing his back to which he immediately softens. placing the basket to the side, you notice the disarray of ice cream and popsicles that lay before him.

> “alright walk me through it then” you hum.

> “I,, I had no idea what was good so I just went off what sounded the best,” he motions to one of the tubs.

> “magnificent mango mochi flavour?”

> “sounds like it’d make you go ‘mmm’” he muses.

> “alright, what about this one?” picking up a popsicle Brett sits up to gesture to the little character on the front

> “he looks like he has great taste in ice cream- look at his hat!”

> you pull him down to kiss him on the cheek, smiling at his seriousness before apologising for leaving him.

> you decide to buy one small tub of each flavour that sounded interesting to take home for him to try.

> he tries to convince you otherwise but a quick kiss had him dizzy enough so he couldn’t complain. If it wasn’t already for the heat you’d have assumed he had melted.

[AN: i had an idea and wanted to write it down before i had forgotten! i’m thinking abt doing a proper head-cannon list but we’ll see - hope y’all are doing well!]

[sin-sidejob]

[gnoll-king]

Muriel now makes his own soap and cleans himself daily AND even bathes Inanna sometimes, even brushes out her coat so she’s nice and clean too.

[melenatedandjaded]

!! Muriel lives in a forest surrounded by natural herbs and flowers and they’re trying to tell ME that he doesn’t bathe whilst coming up with combinations of flowers to put in said soap?? Like he doesn’t give them as gives to Asra or have special scents for his own indulgence?? My head hurts.

[notyouraveragecommunity]

what the community characters would do during a snow day headcanons (inspired by me being off from a snow day currently :) )

jeff: stay inside because he sees playing in the snow as a children activity, although he would not hesitate to participate in a snow ball fight with

britta: would also stay inside because she ‘hates‘ the snow. probably would knit her cats sweaters for them to stay warm.

abed: make snowman. he would use his, troy’s,and annie’s clothes to decorate them and would give all the snowman names. he also would try to play out any movie/tv scene that has snow in it.

troy: he would help abed with the snowman. he would also try to stick out his tongue when he sees a snow flake and lick an icicle.

annie: go ice skating with friends, build snowmans with troy and abed, stop troy and abed from doing anything too stupid and count snow flakes. basically any traditional snow day activities.

shirley: make hot chocolate for her kids and participate in snowball fights. (spoiler alert, she wins.)

pierce: would continuously attack the study group with snowballs, even when they’re not playing lol.

the dean: lie about the power being out in his house so he could spend the snow day with jeff

chang: do something chang-y

[melenatedandjaded]

IM ALIVE // important update

hey loves - update(s) below 

BEFORE I CONTINUE im not discontinuing this blog I realise that the title sounds kinda ominous but don't think that I'm anywhere near done with this blog-

-anyway hello! I'm alive and I hope you guys had a good new year and are safe and all that good stuff, I'm trying to keep this as condensed as possible so bare with me:

people who've sent me asks I HAVEN'T FORGOTTEN </3 the course im doing irl takes up a LOT of my time so I'm very very busy lately and I thought I could juggle it- like an idiot but I really do miss writing so I'm forcing myself to update when I can bc I do enjoy being apart of this community

SPEAKING of communities- I wanna branch out, i haven’t rewatched inside job in a hot minute (will ofc) but in the meantime i find it kinda hard to write stuff for the fandom when it’s not from asks and just random thoughts so I’m planning on including some other fandoms im apart of and write about them here as well!  

I’ll update my pinned post later but if you’re into The Arcana, Stardew Valley or Community then you’re in luck! Feel free to send me any reqs  

If any of my artwork disappears from my blog then it’s on purpose i can get really picky about my pieces and their quality (working on this tho) - also applies to some written work but reqs will always stay up 

im gonna stop?? giving time references for when i think im going to have stuff done for unless i feel like its mandatory because i dont want tumblr to become another thing that stresses me out like my deadlines so i hope you understand

would any of you lot be interested in one of those prompt lists and you guys just send in a number and a character?? good, yes?? maybe. anyway i’m slowly getting back into social media again and i hope you guys like my shit enough to deal with my consistent inconsistency LOL. Thanks for reading :]

jaded’s movie rec: her (2013) - netflix 

[melenatedandjaded]

Brett Hand headcannon??/ramble

Hi sorry quick thought I wanted to jot down before I forgot but,,

Brett Hand is known to not really have a personality which he himself has come to realise, resulting in him having an extreme willingness to trying a lot of things- or rather his indecisiveness because of the lack of his personality means he’s down for pretty much whatever (Goth-Jock brett my beloved).

But the point I’m trying to get at is, he’s probably spent most of his life pretty much ‘cosplaying’ or trying on different personalities and personas in the hopes that’ll give him an idea of what he actually likes- like in that one episode where he goes so deep into his character of the British billionaire to help JR sell his yacht to the point he’d literally give up his life bc?? He’s so invested in the role?? Does that make sense??

A chance to be a secret spy? He’s all in. A chance to pretend to have a loving family? We already know how far he’d to go act out that fantasy.

That’s most likely why I think he’d be a brilliant undercover agent at cognito bc why wouldn’t he be?? Like a gang boss could ask if he likes cocaine and Brett would look at the bloke in all seriousness and go “do you want me to??”

LIKE— do y’all see where I’m getting at

[melenatedandjaded]

*sprints violently into the room*

*slams printed photo onto the table:*

“Look at it.”

*runs out of room again*

[fyeahinsidejob]

Myc: I am a God.

Reagan: You yelled “shut up” at a thunderstorm and it happened to dissipate. It was purely coincidence. You have no power.

Glenn: Shut up. They're a God.

[melenatedandjaded]

Christmas at Cognito. Inc

Brett: Merry Christmas Luther!

Luther:

Luther: Brett.. how and why did you bring a tree and a small bird into my office?

Reagan: *pats them on the back* it’s going to be an interesting 12 days for you pal.

[melenatedandjaded]

hey ok im gonna hit u with my most galaxy brained take of the century, my magnum-dong-opus of an idea... being in a polycute with brett and reagan. even if its only like. the both of them are in a relationship with you and not each other- like a branch poly??? i think its called??? it'd still be so much fun i can feel it in my bones- ALSO LIKE. LISTEN. LSITEN. YOU DRAW THE BOTH OF THEM REALLY PRETTY AND IT/THEY MAKE ME LOSE MY SHIT IN A LOVESICK KINDA WAY AND I APPRECIATE U ENDLESSLY, THANK YOU FOR THE FOOD

TODAY.. WE MAKE HISTORY AS WE ARE BESTOWED WITH THE GREATEST IDEA KNOWN TO HUMANKIND. WHEN I READ THIS I WAS SCREAMING. TYSM FOR ENJOYING MY ART BUT CMON YOU ARE THE REASON WE’RE EATIN GOOD TONIGHT !!!

(After a little googling and YouTube video watching I finally found the term- Vee Relationship: gets its name from the letter “V,” in which one person acts as the “hinge” or “pivot” partner dating two people. The other two people are not romantically or sexually involved with each other)

Brett x Reader x Reagan -(Vee) Polyamory Relationship!Headcannons (this is long asf - sft)

Lemme just get this out the way before we even begin -

-YOU ARE THE ANNIE EDISON TO THEIR TROY AND ABED #trobedison

All great friends before you get together

I headcannon Reagan as being on the aromantic spectrum, possibly greyaro

Brett and Reagan had found out that they were both crushing on you (hard) as they walked to your car after a drunken night of poker with the team

Brett: “…You know, *hic* they’re really cool and awesome and I,, I just want to kiss their awesome cool face- *hic* :D”

Reagan: “Samee here broo,, *hic* :]”

You came soon after and opened the doors to let them in before you drove them home-

-that whole conversation had been completely forgotten until you walked past them in the cafeteria one afternoon and they caught eachother giving you longing looks as you waved at them

,,The unanimous double-take and the sudden realisation that washed over their faces when they remembered what had been said a week before was priceless jddhekdn

Brett gave a quiet “Oohhhhh” where as Reagan let out a “No fucking way”

Sorta??,, awkward stage where they didn’t know what to do?? Until it came up in conversation that you were interested in non-monogamous relationship’s

THE LOOK THEY GIVE EACH OTHER LMSOJD

Reagan was the one to initiate the idea of a Vee relationship - when she asked Brett what he thought beforehand he was so elated he could burst.

They both confessed together, it was very cute. Brett tripping over every vowel and Reagan doing her best to keep it together.

You gave them the biggest hug when you said yes to which they returned- the first of many group hugs

And it’s perfect because it allows for you to be intimate with your malewife and girlboss without it causing strain on Brett and Reagans brilliant friendship - it’s just great

Brett helps Reagan to prepare romantic gestures when she’s stumped for ideas

Reagan reassures Brett that he’s doing a great job and that he’s an amazing boyfriend to you.

It takes a little time for Reagan to get used to the dynamic but when she’s reminded that “woah.. Boundaries exist” she is content

You are right!! It’s so much fun!

Being able to have as long of a cuddle session you’d like with Brett and being showered with kisses to then just as long, passionate and personal talks with Reagan (this time you peppering her with said kisses) is amazing.

Texts in your lil gc supporting eachother with work and stuff <33 Brett gets really sappy reading back through you guys’ msgs

Though it seems like Brett would only be good for emotional intimacy and Reagan physical- don’t get it twisted they are definitely more than capable of being brilliant at both for you.

Brett loves that he can talk to his best friend about his partner and gush over them together “they’re so cute EEEEE”

Thursdays become ‘Munchies and Movies Night’ (“Brett we’re not calling it that,” “you know you like it Reagan”) where you guys cook- or order take out and watch an old 80’s film on the couch together

Brett on one side, Reagan on the other with you in the middle- bowl of popcorn in your lap. Like always: expect. smooches.

Brett and Reagan still bicker like a married couple but the only difference is that they share a spouse jdsnlsxu

Each year you guys take it in turns to decide what group costume to go as for Halloween, with you previously having gone as Mario, Reagan as Luigi (she made sure not to attempt an accent this time) and Brett as Peach.

Whenever there’s a problem between any of you, whether it be you and Brett or vice versa you all do your best to communicate before the day is over

THE PAIR ARE VERY PROTECTIVE OVER YOU like- you stub your toe ONCE and Brett is there instantly, already carrying you to the softest thing he can find and Reagan hurriedly bringing a first aid kit

You guys tell the rest of the team after being with them for half a year and despite their questions, Glenn and Gigi’s being out of genuine interest where Myc’s were borderline perverse, they were all supportive.

Andre asked if Brett and Reagan had ever kissed and they both laughed hysterically- yk those laughs where you start playfully slapping the other n shit?? Yea those lmao

They both like to steal kisses from you at work whenever they can: Reagan giving you strong smooches Brett giving you little forehead kisses (inspo for this headcannon linked tysm otis)

If y’all live together? Two bedrooms, one with a King Size and one single. Sometimes when you’re real tired from work you’ll crash into the big bed, Reagan usually stumble in an hour later (that woman needs REST),,

Brett will soon come into the bedroom to see his partner snuggling with his best friend and will keel over and clutch his chest dramatically, overwhelmed with love.

will shuffle in behind you after taking out Reagans scrunchie and putting her fully on the bed so she doesn’t fucking fall off

Ironically tho Brett is a really bad sleeper (I kin this) and will have one leg and arm hanging off the bed like a starfish whilst an arm tugs you in to hang off him like a koala-

Reagan will happily avoid getting accidentally crushed by taking the single bed in the spare room.

Cooking breakfast with Brett in the mornings as Reagan gets her well deserved rest upstairs, she gives an adorable smirk when she comes down to the smell of pancakes and bacon.

Reagan post-it notes her stuff she leaves around the house so Brett doesn’t use it by accident

Sometimes you’ll be watching a late night sitcom with him downstairs as Reagan works on an invention in the other room.

“CAN YOU GUYS KEEP IT DOWN?”

“Sorry love” “my bad Rae” cue more giggles

You’re all just really fucking happy <333

THIS IS OH SO VERU LONG BUT I ENJOYED IT SM TYSMM FOR REQUESTING I APPRECIATE YO ASS TOO ANON <3

[melenatedandjaded]

MR. HAND <3, he can hold mine xx

[melenatedandjaded]

To my fellow himbo enthusiasts, just know that you are deserving of a kind, sweet dumb man who will take care of you. You deserve it <3