the root of the root and the bud of the bud @mellitulis - Tumblr Blog

the way i am so mentally ill is sometimes impressive

#not only was that weird and bad for my brain to do it was also so many levels of unecessary #fuck this!#go girl give us absolutely fucking nothing #you insecure chucklefuck jesus christ #cringe

i am not here to shame anyone for their interests but cringe culture is alive and well, it applies to me specifically

#scribero #cannot believe i named myself after a fruit or a red vs blue character and i want no one to call me either any more but i feel guilty asking #i also don't Really want to go by jackie either but i simply will not come up with another name #peach was a cute nickname it wasn't supposed to go this far #it doesn't even feel like my name any more!

really have nothing to exist for!! oop!

#scribero #i dont even remember my negative tag #wish i were deaaaad

if i had fewer morals i could just be like an absolute terror

#you're lucky i have some form of ethics because some of y'all have anon on and wouldn't be safe otherwise #one day when i am tired of watching people do/say clown shit? i am tired of being nice i do just wanna go apeshit.

i hate it when i get an unshakeable bad gut feeling about someone who someone i care about cares about bc i just feel gross randomly all the fucking time lmao

#i tried to bring it up before and i got nowhere so i'll shut up!

can you please just treat me like a person. im a fucking normal ass person

#im tired of being treated like im a lol so quirky concept and not a person stop calling me weird stop it #im fucking exhausted.#just treat me like a human being im not a 2d caricature of a person and im not sure you like me when im a whole person #literally being called weird lately fills me with frothing fucking rage knock it off #just anything like... ridiculous/weird/quirky #it makes me feel GROSS #i keep adding to this post but im constantly diluting myself and i got rid of my most defining trait bc it drew too much attention to me #why do you think its a compliment im fucking tired of being looked at

anxiety response be like: you will be profoundly upset by a dumb meme because it reminds you of something else through 3 degrees of separation and you will blacklist 5 new tags

#scribero

oh me? im just yearning

#scribero

my meditation app: your feelings arent meaningless or bad

me: hm. interesting take.

just full to the brim with self loathing!

#scribero

oh boy oh boy i sure am in a mood

#scribero #i know im already upset and it isnt helping but like. i was psychoanalyzing myself in the shower and now i can't stop thinking about it #im constantly overcompensating for like. not being enough. by being loud and over the top because i think people will only like me #if im a joke basically #which is why it crushes me so badly when i feel like. even vaguely threatened and i take every single time someone like. makes a comment #that kinda like infringes on my 'territory' thats a dumb way of phrasing it but #i can't handle anything even if its obviously a joke and im not like. at risk whatsoever #because i have literally no self esteem and am convinced someones always gonna replace me :)#it was like this with wren too i haven't gotten any better in almost 3 years thats adorable wow

boymounter

making soup for your girl…. crocheting a blanket for your girl….. cutting flowers for your girl……… baking brownies for your girl..

#scribero

inkskinned

we fell together so easily was all. like you belonged against me. i don’t usually trust people like that. i don’t usually let people near me. something about you was a soft spot, an opening. i don’t know if i believe in soul mates. but i know how i feel around you.

hm! realizing i feel terrible asking for anything or asserting any boundaries because of my mom’s manipulation and abuse hits different

#scribero #i still feel gross but at least i kinda get why #might fuck around and cry in the shower lol

luxky

#specto #cor

affectionsuggestion

I want to nuzzle my nose against your cheek and run my hands through your hair, and tangle my legs with yours - I want to fall asleep listening to the sound of your heartbeat and breath, knowing that you’ll be right there next to me when I wake up

#scribero #cor

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the root of the root and the bud of the bud