Zetian, my beloved, while being questioned by the authorities
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@melonlordkatara
Zetian, my beloved, while being questioned by the authorities
Guess what I just finished reading !
it's so nice when you and your partners share common interests
Zetian thinking Shimin is glaring at her, and taking that as a reason to hate him, when he’s actually just squinting bc he needs glasses is just so fucking funny istg
Shimin: *squints*
Zetian: “oh he’s trying to intimidate me! I must kill him!”
Yes, Gao Yizhi has a four step exfoliating and moisturizing routine. Yes, he offered to murder a man's family as a gift for the love of his life. Yes, he knows how to cook and owns flower patterned oven mitts. Yes, he brutally murdered his father as violently and publicly as he could. Yes, he once yelled, "You can't shoot me, I'm rich," at a group of soldiers.
Yes, Gao Yizhi is an unhinged polyamorous bisexual rich bitch pretty boy murderer who loves his partners and murder so much. He has layers. He's complex.
So I read Iron Widow
Frantic shouts rise among the nomads. I snap out of it and direct the syringe toward his wrist. But his armor stops me from finding a vein.
“Open up!” I raise my head.
Half his face is melting.
I shriek, and so does he.
Ch.44: “The Emperor’s Mausoleum”, from @xiranjayzhao‘s Iron Widow
In this household we wear froggie sunglasses🫡🐸
I’m always a slut for ‘Anakin decides not to murder children and it saves the galaxy’ AUs, but I’m also always a slut for ‘Anakin decides not to murder children and it doesn’t save the galaxy’ AUs, partially because I’m sure Palps had several contingencies in place for Anakin not falling, and partially because the concept of baby Luke and Leia being raised by their Mom, Dad, Uncle Obi and Aunt Soka while they run the Resistance kills me.
There are so many incredible directions it can go, but my personal favorites are:
Leia gets a lightsaber and becomes a terror of the galaxy, eventually killing Sidious through sheer bloody-minded stubbornness and no little amount of vigorous stabbing.
Luke and Anakin bond over piloting while Obi-Wan is sick in the back of the transport.
Obi-Wan and Padmé getting drunk and taking the piss out of Sidious. (“Have you— *hic* have you seen his hair?” “Atrocious.” “Fuck, and the robes.” “No sense of panache whatsoever. I was never so unstylish when I wore robes.” “Yes, you were very hot.” “What?” What.”)
Ahsoka, Leia, and Luke prank wars. Blue milk in the pillow is how it starts. Three imperial bases burning while R2 cackles in the background and Padmé and Obi-Wan yelling at them is how it ends.
R2 and Luke are Best Friends. R2 and Leia are Mortal Enemies. Anakin takes Luke’s side. Obi-Wan takes Leia’s. Ahsoka and 3PO form their own team. Padmé privately decides that she can’t be bothered and lets her family have their stupid feud while she establishes another rebel base.
Hondo Ohnaka frequently kidnaps Luke and Leia and tries to get them to join his crew. Leia scams him every single time in the hopes that it’ll get him to back off. It just makes him try harder.
Han Solo shows up when the twins are 16 and both of them get horrible crushes on him. Anakin hates him for it. He shows up again when the twins are 22 and gets a horrible crush on both of them. Luke thinks it’s kind of sweet. Leia is not impressed. Anakin still hates him.
Luke goes out on a routine supply trip and comes back two weeks later with a whole covert of Mandalorians, including one named Din to whom he is very attached. Anakin blames Obi-Wan for it (“It’s your genes. Your stupid, defective, mandalorian-attracting genes.” “Luke and I aren’t even related!!” “You did this.”)
Padmé ‘three outfits a day and no less’ Amidala, Leia ‘braids and floor-length bodycon dresses’ Skywalker, and Luke ‘Chanel boots’ Skywalker, are fashion icons. Anakin, who is almost always covered in grease stains, is consistently mistaken for their escort and/or servant.
Handmaidens Rabé & Padmé observing visitors at Theed Royal Palace.
🧡 Queen Amidala and her Handmaidens 🧡
made myself a quick height ref chart for the skywalkers based off their canon/actor heights and wow, anakin’s fighting for his life over here
(ko-fi requests are open!)
Star Wars really missed out on some golden opportunities by not having Luke--the moisture farmer who never spent a day of his life outside of the driest desert you ever saw-- react to other planets' water.
Luke is on Hoth for a full week before he realizes what snow is. "This is WATER?!" "...yeah." "WE'RE RICH!"
or Yoda senses Luke is on Dagobah and goes looking for him, only to find him thrashing around waist deep in the swamp, frantically filling every container he can find with the nastiest dark brown water imaginable and shoving it into his ship.
Every planet they go to, if Han and Leia turn their back on Luke for a SECOND, he'll just be gone and they'll have to go trudging off to find the nearest pond and without fail there will be Luke, sitting in water up to his neck.
He just wanted to add a little bit of color to Mando’s cape
#FOUND FAMILY
"THEN I WILL ADOPT HIM AS MY OWN"
"LET IT BE WRITTEN IN SONG THAT DIN DJARIN IS ACCEPTING THIS FOUNDLING AS HIS SON"
"YOU ARE NOW DIN GROGU"
The other thing about Anakin and the Jedi is that I’m pretty sure he could’ve gone to Yoda and been like “Look, I’ve been having a secret affair with Senator Amidala, she’s pregnant with twins, I’ve been having visions of her dying. Previously, my visions of loved ones dying have proved to be accurate, please can you spare some of the Order’s literally magical healers to assist her.”
And Yoda would probably be like “Hm. Grant healers, I can, but make promises, I cannot. Matter of your departure from the Order, discuss at a later date, we will.”
Like, yeah, Anakin would have to stop being a Jedi, but if he truly loves Padme, that’s a no-brainer.
But he doesn’t do that. What he does instead is … *checks notes* … murder children because an evil wizard told him a fairytale and then telekinetically strangle his heavily pregnant wife.